SATURDAY WEIRDNESS

This deeply bizarre album cover is posted without comment and in haste because Andy and I have a show tonight. For details of the show scroll down to last Thursday's post.

The secret initials are OMG!

THE CORPORATE CYBER-GESTAPO MOVE IN

The following story appeared recently in The Times of London, (sent by Bernard) although it also applies to the US (and France). My primary question is who and what actually watches and monitors the downloads?

“People who illegally download films and music will be cut off from the internet under new legislative proposals to be unveiled next week.
Internet service providers (ISPs) will be legally required to take action against users who access pirated material, The Times has learnt.
Users suspected of wrongly downloading films or music will receive a warning e-mail for the first offence, a suspension for the second infringement and the termination of their internet contract if caught a third time, under the most likely option to emerge from discussions about the new law.” (Click for the full story and comments)

The secret words are Police State

THE GREAT JACK ELAM

Every so often we run a picture of Jack Elam on Doc40. And if you don’t know who Jack Elam is ask via a comment.

ALL NEW! DOC'S PORNOGRAPHIC POLITICAL COMMENTARY

“So do you think John McCain was fucking the Telecom lobbyist?"

“If he was, my glee would be unseemly.”

(For the story so far)

The secret word is Busted

INVITATION TO A TWANGING

THEY WILL ARRIVE ON SATURDAY

Mick Farren and Andy Colquhoun will be playing their alien electric blues again this coming Saturday (February 23rd) at Zero One Gallery at it’s new location at…
746 SOUTH LOS ANGELES STREETSANTEE VILLAGE, BTWN 7th and 8th StreetsLOS ANGELES, CA 90014213.984.4901

(Among others appearing will be My Bloody Valentine and (always a hit) The Bunny. We should go on about 10.30 – 11.00. Tip the bartender.)

FAREWELL TO FIDEL AND HIS BEARD

“I’m outta here, but the other guy is long dead.”

This will probably upset a few people, but Fidel Castro, despite his flaws and excesses, was really a boyhood hero of mine. Mainly on account of how he took Cuba with a handful of men from a US/Mob dictatorship and held America at bay for almost half a century despite whatever the CIA could throw at him. (Now hit me with the repression, executions etc.) Of course, Che was the true icon. But Che didn’t live and that’s always an advantage for icons, because then they don’t tarnish or grow old. (And if we’re talking about a Cuban police state, check what’s going on here at home. Sent by Peromycus)

The secret words are Sierra Maestra

THREE UFOS AT SUNSET

No reason for posting this except I came across a cache of UFO pics (from Turkey of all places) and I thought it was coolly dramatic. And also wondered what this thing is about UFOs traveling in threes. BTW Turkey seems to having as many UFO flaps as Mexico. (But that doesn’t exempt them guilt about what they did to the Armenians)

I AM SO GODDAMNED SICK OF THE WAR ON DRUGS

“A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence, from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.” – George Washington

And thus spake the League Of Armed Marijuana Patients, who are probably nothing more than a bunch of disgruntled stoners without a carbine between them, who thought it was a good idea to stick up a website, so I’d guess there’s no call for the FBI or DEA get bent out of shape, since all they seem to do is to quote Nietzsche, Howard Beale, and the above mentioned George Washington, but it really does reflect both my own and the universal sense “oi vey, when the fuck will the powers in power wise up and act rationally towards the marijuana prohibition that has lasted my entire fucking lifetime and more." Hell, not even my lifetime. Dope was becoming illegal when Willie Nelson was in diapers, Jah know. (Thanks for the link Iggy)

The secret word is Sacrament

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 37

SHOOT DOWN THAT SATELLITE

As the US prepares to shoot down the 10-ton spy satellite that was launched in December 2006 but didn’t properly deploy and has been slowly falling back to Earth ever since, totally out of human control, the official story is the shoot-down (no Dick Cheney jokes) is needed because it choc fill o’ highly toxic hydrazine rocket fuel. Suggestions have also been made that the military want to blow up the system to avoid the possibility of sensitive equipment landing on enemy soil. (Enemy?) While the even more cynical have suggested that it’s demonstration to China, who recently used a surface-to-space missile to shoot down a satellite in orbit, that the US also has orbital warfare capabilities. When questioned about this the Pentagon responded with all the injured innocence of a ten year-old caught with a BB gun and a broken window. “Who? What? Us? How could you think such a thing? That would be the militarisation of space, and we’d never do that.

The secret words are Doom Beam

Freddie Bell -- RIP

FROM THE TRENCHES

Fucking hell, Doctor T, why did you have to go and blow yourself away. It's getting weirder enough for most of us and we in the Old Guard could really use your voice in the chorus. But...


The secret word is Veterans

CLASS WAR? WHAT CLASS? WHAT WAR?

Jon sent me this long and righteously angry piece by Chris Floyd from his excellent blog Empire Burlesque, essentially saying the, although Mitt Romney has mercifully left the building, his power-elitist distortion still haunts the land…

“Romney makes the sexual and racial subtext abundantly clear in his remarks about Europe's loss of religious faith, eroded morality, etc. The Euros are plainly too busy having abortions and watching porn to do their duty by the race and breed bigger families kept under strict religious discipline. And thus the shabby denizens of an alien faith are breeding like rats in the cellarage of Western Civilization, gnawing away at the foundations and conquering it from within. The fact that "Muslims" are substituted for "Jews" in these formulations and implications of Hitchens, Amis, Romney, et al, does not lessen the precision with which their diatribes mirror those that saturated Germany (and many other nations) in the first four decades of the 20th century. For the elites, there is always a dark, sexually potent "other" out there, whose overwhelming threat to white supremacy can only be overcome by….giving the elites more and more power.”

(Click to read)

The secret word is Loathing

SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES

I have been working on my new book (on the subject of drugs as it happens) all the livelong damned day, so I don’t have to much to say except, even loathing award shows as I do, I was delighted that Amy Winehouse picked up five Grammy awards, providing proof that, counter to all the fashionable hypocrisy and propaganda, one can still actually be psychotic, stoned, drunk, self destructive, and an all round mess (plus being ratted out by a tabloid newspaper and tossed into dubious rehab) and still produce, if not great art, at least some of the best music around. Needless to say, the sobriety gestapo, led in this instance by the miserable Natalie Cole, is moaning that an alleged and incarcerated drug addict should not be so honored. Nice one, Natalie, let's lower the poor girl's self-esteem a bunch more notches when she's trying to save her own life. Ah, fuck ‘em. I've had more than enough of the self righteous dictating what is acceptable behavior for the artist and what’s not, and degrading and diminishing all who disagree.(But get well Amy, we need you.)

The secret words are Charlie Parker

REVELATIONS OF ROCK

“Would Woody Guthrie have tolerated this shit?”

HCB has just sent over this scathing commentary on the music business by Simon Napier-Bell -- who, managed, at one time, The Yardbirds, and, in another era (and at another extreme) worked with Wham! --which contains some stunning anecdotes like…

“Nevertheless, I was totally in their hands. Here there were 6,000 radio stations. Four thousand were said to have playlists under Mafia control. To promote my record would require cocaine and sex and suitcases full of cash. I hadn't chosen to be with this company: that had been done by EMI. In America I had just one job - to persuade CBS the Yardbirds were worth promoting. But since that was already decided there wasn't much left to do. So I went and had tea with Ahmet Ertegun.”
Or
“Dick was about to have a conversation he didn't want. Eighteen months previously there had been publicity about Jewish-born Dylan becoming a born-again Christian. He'd made a couple of albums full of evangelical zeal but they'd bombed. Now his contract had come up for renewal. Dick especially didn't want to have this conversation in front of me. He took the call anyway. To begin with, it wasn't too interesting but then Dick yelled, 'I've told you, Bob - no fucking religion! If you can't agree to that, the deal's off...' Bob was arguing the point but Dick was having none of it. 'Look, I'm telling you. There'll be no fucking religion - not Christian, not Jewish, not Muslim. Nothing. For God's sake, man - you were born Jewish, which makes your religion money, doesn't it? So stick with it, for Christ's sake. I'm giving you 20 million bucks - it's like baptising you, like sending you to heaven. So what are you fucking moaning about? You want 20 million bucks from us? Well, you gotta do what we tell you. And what we're telling you is... No Torah! No Bible! No Koran! No Jesus! No God! No Allah! No fucking religion. It's going in the contract.'
Click for the full story

The secret word is Larceny

(Thanks Tim)

A MESS OF BLUES

You hear no lonesome train whistles round midnight here in Hollywood. The closest thing is the howl of an LAPD siren. Doesn’t mean, though, that a man can’t get the blues so bad, he feels the need to post a mess of them over on DOCTUBE. (And that’s Blaze Starr on the picture, who was the mistress of Louisiana Governor Earl Long, who was the brother of Huey Long, the Kingfish. He was rumored to be a psychotic drunk, but he was also rumored to know all the inside details of Clay Shaw and the New Orleans connections to the JFK assassination, but he never said a word because he couldn’t figure how it would be to his advantage.)

The secret word is Seventh

TIME WAVE ZERO GONNA GET YOU

Bowed under the weight of a never-ending and increasing nonsensical election process, and the Dems, with every advantage known to politics, seemingly taking careful aim at their own right foot with this super delegate bullshit, I felt myself presented with the alternatives of either hiding under the bed, of turning my attention to something completely different. Thus, in this week’s LA CityBeat, my column takes a look at the End Time paranoia that is slowly but surely building around the date December 21st, 2112, with particular attention to the predictions of the Mayan calendar and the Time Wave Zero theory of the late Terence McKenna. You could click to read the piece, but you don’t get a lot of detail in less than 700 words, so you could click again to watch McKenna explain.

The secret word is Nothing.

Then, for a total change of pace, you could just watch this Spanish lesson posted without comment except that it’s hilarious and was sent by Valerie. (Less serious click.)

DOC FEELS LOUSY AND IS GOING TO BED. NORMAL SERVICE WILL BE RESUMED IN THE AM.

TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THIS PICTURE

It’s a wistful hungry feeling (and will probably do no one no good) that this might just be the dynamic duo to head some kind of government of national reconstruction that could dismantle the legacy of hate, bloodshed and corruption that will be the Bush/Cheney/neocon legacy. In The New York Times, Maureen Dowd dismissed it as a fairy tale...

“There were “heart palpitations” and “ripples of joy” in the glittery Kodak Theater audience at the idea of a Hillary-Obama or Obama-Hillary ticket, after he was gallant with her and she laughed gaily with him. How could Hollywood not fall in love with Hollywood’s favorite plot? After lots of sparking and sparring, the couple falls into each other’s arms in the last scene. The would-be matchmakers didn’t seem to know that in Hollywood, couples who have chemistry on screen often don’t like each other off screen, and ones who are involved off screen often don’t have any chemistry on screen.
And so it is with Barack and Hillary. Thursday night was not the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Just a beautiful, dare we say, fairy tale.”

But I still naïvely wonder if militant public opinion could force at least a shotgun wedding. (If real militancy still survives in this blighted land.)

The secret word is Pragmatism

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 36

PLUS GOOD NEWS ON HIGH HEELS! This highly inaccurate vision of life on Pluto (and maybe why it was officially downgraded from planet to planetoid a few years ago) provides us with a tidy lead in to a BBC story sent by Valerie that, far from being a fetishistic male imposition, high heels may actually enhance women’s sex lives by improving their pelvic floor muscles. (Click for the full story)

CAN TUESDAY BE SO SUPER?

Whatever the anonymous commenting trolls might make of it, my posting of the above (from Elizabeth) does not mean I have absolutely anything against Barack Obama -- quite the reverse, in fact -- or (within reason) Ted Kennedy. Neither does it referrer to the endlessly labyrinthine monkey puzzle that is the US electoral system,and the media that follows it like cawing seagulls behind the plough. It’s just a bad that I could not resist. Remember bad political jokes? Shit, we’ve been ruled by one for over seven years.

The secret word is Geddit?

And, if your brains is as spongy as mine, try this left brain/right brain test Munz sent along with yesterday’s stuff. After some concentration, I managed to do it, which pleased me doubly in that I had not only could work the left/right switch, but that I had a brain left at all. (Check it out)

LET FREEDOM RING!

A quote for Monday sent by munz

"You could afford to get mixed up with wild strangers in those days---without fearing for your life, or your eyes, or your organs, or all of your money or even getting locked up in prison forever. There was a sense of possibility. People were not so afraid, as they are now ... nobody called the police on you, just to check out your credit and employment history and your medical records and how many parking tickets you owed in California."
---- Hunter S. Thompson, Kingdom of Fear

The secret word is Tyranny

"Stop looking at my shoes, there's a new and highly perverse selection of tunes on DOCTUBE"

SATURDAY FUNNIES

On a night quite unenchanting, when the rain was downward slanting,

I awakened to the ranting of the man I catch mice for.

Tipsy and a bit unshaven, in a tone I found quite craven,

Poe was talking to a Raven perched above the chamber door.

"Raven's very tasty," thought I, as I tiptoed o'er the floor,

"There is nothing I like more."

Soft upon the rug I treaded, calm and careful as I headed

Towards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.

While the bard and birdie chattered,

I made sure that nothing clattered,

Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered, as I crossed the corridor;

For his house is crammed with trinkets, curios and weird decor -

Bric-a-brac and junk galore.

Still the Raven never fluttered, standing stock-still as he uttered,

In a voice that shrieked and sputtered, his two cents worth -

"Nevermore."

While this dirge the birdbrain kept up, oh, so silently I crept up,

Then I crouched and quickly leapt up, pouncing on the feather bore.

Soon he was a heap of plumage, and a little blood and gore -

Only this and not much more.

Then my pickled poet cried out,

"Pussycat, it's time I dried out!"

Never sat I in my hideout talking to a bird before;

How I've wallowed in self-pity, while my gallant, valiant kitty.

Put an end to that damned ditty - then I heard him start to snore.

Back atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,

Jumped - and smashed it on the floor.

(Thanks Wend)

The secret word is Purrrr!

AND THEN THERE WERE TWO

This piece on the primaries for LA CityBeat was written before the news came down that John Edwards had dropped out of the race. I don’t think, however, it makes any real difference to the argument. (Click here for the goods.)

HUSTON, WE HAVE A PANDA CAM

It’s been a while since we had a baby panda to distract us, but now a giant panda cub, Fu Long, has made his debut at a zoo in Vienna, Austria. The panda cub was born August 23rd. Fu Long means 'lucky dragon' in Mandarin Chinese. But, sadly this is not a 24 hour live panda watch. (Sent by Valerie, click here)

The secret word is Aaaaaaaah!

EDUCATION IS A WONDERFUL THING

Except maybe when it's bombs that are not only being educated but also handed out to Bush’s dubious Middle East allies like it was a clearance sale...

"The Joint Direct Attack Munition is a kit that, when added to the back end of a 500- or 2,000-pound "dumb" bomb, turns it into a lethal, all-weather "smart" weapon. The bomb can hit within four feet of a target when launched from a fighter aircraft more than 10 miles away." (For more clink link)

The secret word is Kaboom!

I JUST COULDN'T RESIST THE IMPULSE

Lee Majors: $6 million – Elvis Presley: priceless (pic from Tom Sutpen)

WHAT STATE? WHAT UNION?

I will confess that I avoided the State of the Union address like the black death. I have enough misery, disappointment, and hypocrisy in my life already, and I simply couldn’t face one more performance by the dreadful simian, and so resolutely stared at reruns of Law & Order even though I’d seen them before, and fumed that Bush's unspeakable gall to preempt Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. About the only consolation was that I received a link to something called SOTU that described itself as follows…

“State of the Union (SOTU) provides access to the corpus of all the State of the Union addresses from 1790 to 2008. SOTU allows you to explore how specific words gain and lose prominence over time, and to link to information on the historical context for their use. SOTU focuses on the relationship between individual addresses as compared to the entire collection of addresses, highlighting what is different about the selected document. You are invited to try and understand from this information the connection between politics and language–between the state we are in, and the language which names it and calls it into being.”

Or, in other words, one those cyber devices where you push words around with the cursor without a totally clear idea of what exactly is being demonstrated to you. (Click to play)

The secret words are Mouse Pad

OR AS THE CAT SAYS...

"...sex isn't everything." (Now read on)

DOC 40 ADMITS ITS MISTAKES

Valerie points out how, two weeks ago, I was kinda of mean to Dita Von Teese when in fact she might actually be doing something quite useful. She is launching PETA's new ABC campaign.

"What does ABC stand for? Animal birth control, of course! PETA's new ABC campaign tackles the issue of companion animal overpopulation and urges people to do their part by taking simple steps to help end this crisis. Dita knows her ABCs and just how important animal birth control is. Every year, nearly 4 million dogs and cats are put to death in the U.S. because there are not enough good homes for them. Until we all do our part to put an end to this cycle, euthanasia will remain a tragic necessity." (Click for more.)

The secret word is Spay

SATURDAY FOUND OBJECT

I found this gem in my web travels and, yes, well, I guess it does have a point. It also avoids STDs too, I suppose, but what effect it might have on our simultaneously sexually obsessed and sexually repressed culture might be debated. But while you ponder that, I've just posted a bunch of new tunes on DOCTUBE which may be just as much fun.

The secret word is Wood

OPIUM UPDATE

I have always been drawn to the romantic concept of the Victorian opium den, which I imagine, of course, filled with colors, wafting fans, ornate pipes, exotic Chinese woman bringing you stuff as you recline among hallucinating pre-Raphaelite beauties and Lord Alfred Douglas.

Yeah, fat chance now it’s all processed into smack for junkies.

But new multiple twist would appear to have made the story even more depressing as the War on Drugs falls over the War on Terror and then they both become hopelessly entangled in Bush’s War in Iraq. This story came from both aeswiren and Roger in Scotland (who hopes the Greenland Pump doesn’t fail – pump don’t fail me now, so to speak.)

Opium Fields Spread Across Iraq as Farmers Try to Make Ends Meet
By Patrick Cockburn
The cultivation of opium poppies whose product is turned into heroin is spreading rapidly across Iraq as farmers find they can no longer make a living through growing traditional crops. Afghan with experience in planting poppies have been helping farmers switch to producing opium in fertile parts of Diyala province, once famous for its oranges and pomegranates, north- east of Baghdad.
At a heavily guarded farm near the town of Buhriz, south of the provincial capital Baquba, poppies are grown between the orange trees in order to hide them, according to a local source.

Click for the rest of the tale.

The secret word is Laudanum

PLUS I rant in LA CityBeat for some few hundred words on last weeks Obama coke hoo-ha and though the website is still an intolerable dog’s dinner one can actually access the story.

Try it! You might like it! Checkout DOCTUBE

JESUS H. CHRIST!

Charles Stross is an eminent science fiction author and also runs Charlie’s Diary, and excellent and superior blog. Recently he posted these examples of rightwing religious thinking, strip-mined from their own internet chat sessions. These are the ones to whom our would-be leaders grovel. These are the ones to whom Huckabee panders. You can laugh or your skin can crawl, but the final one can be nothing a symptom dangerous psychosis or actual deep seated evil. (Spelling is verbatim)

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

"One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it."

"Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish."
"all the evolutionists, tell me something. i know how the big bang "has happened, but tell me, wouldnt an explosion, especially one that size, take away life instead of allow it? think about it. ex: the a-bomb, the h-bomb, grenades, cannon balls (when fired from a cannon of course), mines, rocket launchers, and anything and everything in between. they all have taken lives."

[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']
"several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years."

"Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!"

"A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire."

The secret word is Crucify

ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!

Someone has posted a delightful clip of me holding forth a couple of years ago about the shambles that became the 1970 Isle of Wight rock festival. I kinda like being gratuitously on YouTube. (But a fund really does have to be established to get my teeth replaced. Kinda like restoring an old building.)

LIFE WAS A LOT EASIER WHEN FASCISTS LOOKED LIKE FASCISTS

I’ve had a lot of writing to do of late so Doc40 has been heavy on links and pictures and kinda shy on original text, but I hope I’ll be able to air some of my obsessions very soon. In the meantime I was sent a link to a great web site called Nickel In The Machine (there's also a permalink on the right) that is an inspired amalgam of British rock and political history that is truly fascinating. I learned, for instance that Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, lived on Cheyne Walk, the same London street on which Mick Jagger had a residence a few doors down and more than half a century later. If you scroll down a bit, you find an account of The Battle of Cable Street when Sir Oswald Moseley and his blackshirts (above) – The British Union Of Fascists – attempted a mass march through the then Jewish ghetto of Whitechapel and were stopped in their tracks by Trade Union members, Communists, and just regular working people. Oh that we had such cohesion today, but like I said, it was easier when fascists looked like fascists, and not aging frat boys in expensive suits.

The secret word is Solidarity

AND, in total contrast, here’s a clip from Noudela that I find wonderfully restful.

MARTIN LUTHER KING

Really needs no other tribute beyond this.

Click here.

(Thanks Nance)

SUPPORTING THE TROOPS

Currently close to 200,000 veterans – mainly of the Bush wars – are homeless, and essentially being denied government help. Paul Rieckoff runs down one shameful example in today’s Huffpo.

“Veterans represent one-third of the adult homeless population in this country, and that number is rising. While almost 200,000 homeless veterans line the nation's streets every night, almost twice as many experience homelessness at some point throughout the course of a year. Essentially, we have the population of Des Moines, Iowa or Montgomery, Alabama "sleeping under bridges." (Click for the whole story.)

The secret word is Despicable

FOR THOSE IN LOS ANGELES

TOMORROW (Saturday Jan 19th) the new book Bomp!: Saving the World One Record at a Time gets a signing by co-author Suzy Shaw and myself, coupled with a live performance in celebration by Joe and Mike Nolte from The Last. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. La Luz de Jesus, 4633 Hollywood Blvd., L.A., (323) 666-7667. Laluzdejesus.com. Free beer is rumored.



Bobby Fischer -- RIP

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 35

“You bastard. You told me there’d be a Target and a Starbucks.”

MOON CITY

The following was sent by Brer LW (to whom I owe a jocular email). He is talking to Danny Baker on Baker’s Brit radio show.

"Dan, around the time Micky Farren was working at NME, he did a wonderful thing. Whenever Mickey, or any of us lot ( The Lone Groovers), bought something that had Polystyrene packing, he would take said shaped blocks, and stick them on his ceiling, thus creating Farren`s Moon City. Of course, when we had partaken of a drop of the old Peruvian Beaver Cheese, we would lie on our backs and observe said Moon City, until of course, we felt as if we were in space, looking down at the rare and strange buildings. Ah, them`s wuz the days."

Oh course, our styrofoam moon city looked nothing like the one above although it might have done had I worked on it longer and more obsessively. (And of course, if we’d had video camera phones back then, there’d be film of it.) But there are people out there who truly believe an alien city of rare and strange buildings exists on the Moon. Click for the somewhat implausible story and pics.

The secret word is Selenite

Oh yeah, after yesterday’s poke at Tom Cruise and Scientology, no men in black suits are lurking outside my building. So maybe they’re not as all-powerful as we assume. (Or better at lurking.) On the other hand, the Vegas odds against any C of S member reading this blog are probably ultra astronomical.

COMPARATIVE RELIGION

A rumor has been circulating around my frequently unreliable neck of the woods that the Tom Cruise/Katy Holmes offspring is not Tom’s at all, but in fact Katie was inseminated by the frozen sperm of L. Ron Hubbard, and that the child Suri is, in fact, being groomed to be the Scientology Messiah. Do we believe that? Of course not. We’re too scared of their lawyers, but if I’m dead or missing tomorrow, it might be true. Meanwhile check out Tom making the impassioned pitch. This has been ripped down from most websites, but Gawker swear they’ll keep it up.(Thanks Southern Belle)

The secret word is Clear

“Doc has posted a whole new selection of his truly bizarre and often depressingly retro musical selections on DOCTUBE, but I think I’ll just lounge here and be decadently fetishistic.”

BEATING ON DITA and why you can’t read it on the web

Regular readers will know that every two weeks I write a media column titled Mick’s Media for the tabloid LA CityBeat, and every two weeks I post a link so all you folks from Birmingham to Bangalore can also read it. But no longer it would seem. In their less than infinite wisdom, the management of LACB decided to revamp the site, which everyone agreed did look a bit circa 1998. But instead of some new, user friendly, techno-wonder, the lackwit contracted to do the job launched some dysfunctional piece garbage that is little short of a cybernetic puzzle from hell which would lead most readers to assume LACB Online was out of business. Whether anything will be done about it remains to be seen, and whether I’m fired for calling out management on their ineptitude also may need watching. For the moment, I intend to post the columns here in full instead of fruitlessly linking them. (Only, of course, after they have hit the stands in print.) We shall see what happens. This is from last Thursday’s issue.
According to the capricious Doc40 color code, I think I’ll print these in turquoise, indicating that I wrote it, but that it has already been published elsewhere.

The secret word is (yet again) Clusterfuck

DECADENT TIMES
A modest proposal for the immediate execution of Dita Von Teese

I have eliminated physical newspapers from my home. I receive the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, and The Washington Post via the Internet (and also the New York Post, ever a mind-boggler). In addition to saving trees, the computer allows me to trippingly bypass the mindless filler that struggling broadsheets vainly believe will deliver the grail of the 18-to-35 demographic. But on Sunday, December 30, I made an exception. With no false modesty, my co-author Suzy Shaw and I had entered the L.A. Times bestseller list at No. 13 with our new book, Bomp!: Saving the World One Record at a Time, and I wanted to admire my name in old-
fashioned print. (Something I actually couldn’t do, but that’s another story.)
Having not had a copy of the Times in the house for months, I was surprised by its bulk. Surprise escalated to amazement when I encountered the “Image” section, dominated by a vast headshot of Dita Von Teese and the message “like the car you drive, or the watch you wear, the bubbly you reach for … speaks volumes about who you are.”
Perhaps my world has become a trifle cyber-esoteric, but I initially wondered on what terminally decadent planet I’d landed. I had clearly been lamentably ignoring plutocrat idiocy. My recall of Von Teese was as Marilyn Manson’s former flame, a modern pinup girl with interesting taste in corsets and a burlesque act that, although a highly pleasing method of punctuating rock-band performances, was little more than old-school stripping with some Belle Epoch pretensions, or a Weimar edge.
Now I discover she’s some kind of spokes-shill for the champagne industry, which, led by Cristal, was pimped-out in the 1990s by P. Diddy and is now selling itself like liquid bling: Witness the $300 Armand de Brignac in its gold-plated bottle (promoted by Jay-Z and an item in Academy Award nominee gift bags). Then, two days after reading a soufflé of a full-page interview about how Dita has had “offers” to act, and once purchased $500 worth of pies to throw at her friends on New Year’s Eve, the TV told me that, in the real world, oil had hit a record hundred bucks a barrel.
Von Teese herself also seemed to have physically changed. While with Manson, she affected a glossy, neo-counterculture style, but as the “Image” cover girl she appeared to have undergone a conservative makeover, causing her to resemble Monica Lewinsky’s slimmer, prettier sister. But perhaps this is just a last hurrah, a neocon bunker apocalypse in which the measure of a man will be judged by the brand of champagne he drinks, but only until the champagne runs out.
On the other hand, this is the Los Angeles Times’ happy promotion of an obscene level of social and cultural inequality that – in a country at war, and a world in which deadly crises are too numerous to count – will hardly build circulation or comfort its existing readers. Dita and her decadent ultra-marketing seem to be doing nothing less than moving routine Hollywood lipstick pointlessness toward a full-blown Marie Antoinette let-them-eat-cake. Historically, that attitude has a limited half-life; before too long, the guillotines are rolled out, the blades fall, the crowd cheers, and equality is imposed the hard way with the head in the basket.
I suppose I’m joking about Von Teese’s execution, but, as we move into the eighth hellish year of the Bush regime, we are obliged to examine all the absurd legacies that will remain, and the Dita Von Teese school of talentless celebrity and disgusting over-consumption has to be one of them. Maybe the foolishness of gold champagne bottles, being promoted by women famous for little more than their lovers and their foundation garments, will be recognized by the changing times as patently absurd.
In the meantime, I’m clicking over to Craig’s List to check out rented tumbrels and carpenters who might be willing to construct some cheap serviceable decapitation devices.

Maila Nurmi (Vampira) -- RIP

THOSE YUMMY NANO-CAPS

Hey! Here comes the brave new world of cybertaste that will make cookbooks – even like the one above – redundant.

"Have you ever gone to the store and found yourself unable to make a choice? Kraft is working on programmable food; you can buy it at the store, and then decide what color and flavor you want later. Processed-food giant Kraft and a group of research laboratories are working on a colorless, tasteless drink (don't they already have those?) that is full of nano-capsules of flavor and nutrients. Each nano-capsule is two thousand times narrower than a human hair. When you get home, you put it in a specially designed microwave that will activate only those nano-capsules that you want to disgorge their contents into the substrate beverage. The remaining nano-capsules will pass harmlessly through your system. Sounds great, doesn't it? What could possibly go wrong." (Click to find out.)

The secret word is Mmmm!

(You may have noticed I have yet to say a word about the continuing clusterfuck known as the presidential primaries. It’s not that I’m not interested, it’s just that I’m bidding my time, seeing no point in adding to the general asinine cacophony. After the total collapse of opinion polling in New Hampshire and the idiot punditry about whether Hillary’s show of emotion won that round for her, I find myself disgusted with the whole overblown process, which I know doesn’t need my voice right now. But later, watch out!)

This blog is still affiliated with The White Panther Party

MURDEROUS AND METALLIC

“So listen up, all you who read and commented on last Saturday’s post (Jan 5th), it’s been a murderously horrible day round at the Doc40 bunker so Mick doesn’t have a damned thing to say, but I’m a Cylon of the old school. I’m just big, metallic, stupid, slow, and do little but destroy shit with my raygun. Integrate that in the philosophical theory, skinjobs – or just watch the music on DOCTUBE.”

The secret word is Simplicity

PHILIP AGEE -- RIP

(Click for his story) Sent by Bernard

Sir Edmund Hillary -- RIP

THOUGHTS ON RELIGION BY THINKERS

Since today is an overloaded day weighed down with work, I thought I’d pass along these quotes sent as a New Year greeting by a dear friend, either for your amusement or to provoke fury.

"The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma." [Abraham Lincoln]

"Religion is a byproduct of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? Isn't killing people in the name of God a pretty good definition of insanity?" [Arthur C. Clarke]

"Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies." [Thomas Jefferson]

"Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile." [Kurt Vonnegut]

"Religion is based . . . mainly on fear . . .fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. . . . My own view on religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race." [Bertrand Russell

The secret word is Kneel

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELVIS

Today is Elvis Presley’s birthday. Had he not committed subconscious suicide by butter and bacon three decades ago, he would have been 73 today. I always celebrate Elvis’ birthday, and constantly wear a mystic Elvis talisman on a cord around my neck, along with a load of other totems including a pentacle, and the key to the Tardis. Why do I tell you all this? Because, despite all my intellectual pretension, curling up in a corner and reading Mikhail Bakunin did not make me the man I am today. Hell no. It really all started with Elvis. He was the one who, with “Heartbreak Hotel”, set me on the rocky road to Gene Vincent, Jack Kerouac, Theodore Sturgeon, Jack Kennedy (and the lone gunman), Bill Burroughs, Bob Dylan, Che Guevara, and a truckload of recreational intoxicants, all long before I groked the fullness of Mikhail B.

And the picture above is deliberate piece of esoteric Elvis obscurism that may only be understood by a Grade A Elvis dementoid. And if anyone would like post a explanatory comment, I would amused and delighted.

The secret words are Left and The Building