Thursday, May 27, 2004


The following list was forwarded by Bassmaster Doug. It was created by combining Ravens Advanced Progressive Matrices of Average IQ with each state's election results from the 2000 presidential election.

State Avg. IQ and who they voted for in 2000
1 Connecticut 113 Gore
2 Massachusetts 111 Gore
3 New Jersey 111 Gore
4 New York 109 Gore
5 Rhode Island 107 Gore
6 Hawaii 106 Gore
7 Maryland 105 Gore
8 New Hampshire 105 Bush
9 Illinois 104 Gore
10 Delaware 103 Gore
11 Minnesota 102 Gore
12 Vermont 102 Gore
13 Washington 102 Gore
14 California 101 Gore
15 Pennsylvania 101 Gore
16 Maine 100 Gore
17 Virginia 100 Bush
18 Wisconsin 100 Gore
19 Colorado 99 Bush
20 Iowa 99 Gore
21 Michigan 99 Gore
22 Nevada 99 Bush
23 Ohio 99 Bush
24 Oregon 99 Gore
25 Alaska 98 Bush
26 Florida 98 Bush
27 Missouri 98 Bush
28 Kansas 96 Bush
29 Nebraska 95 Bush
30 Arizona 94 Bush
31 Indiana 94 Bush
32 Tennessee 94 Bush
33 North Carolina 93 Bush
34 West Virginia 93 Bush
35 Arkansas 92 Bush
36 Georgia 92 Bush
37 Kentucky 92 Bush
38 New Mexico 92 Gore
39 North Dakota 92 Bush
40 Texas 92 Bush
41 Alabama 90 Bush
42 Louisiana 90 Bush
43 Montana 90 Bush
44 Oklahoma 90 Bush
45 South Dakota 90 Bush
46 South Carolina 89 Bush
47 Wyoming 89 Bush
48 Idaho 87 Bush
49 Utah 87 Bush
50 Mississippi 85 Bush

Note to Republicans: This chart is not as bad as it looks. The correlation of electoral votes to IQ is a loose one. There are many variable that are obviously not included. Connecticut, for example, probably has a significantly higher rating now that George Bush lives in Texas. Though the pattern is a bit striking, this chart was posted to be somewhat amusing. What isn't amusing is the study showing a significant percentage of Americans are factually incorrect about very important issues. These include whether we found WMDs in Iraq, Iraq's ties to 9/11, and Iraq's ties to al Queda and terrorism in general. What's more striking is that of those who hold factual misperceptions of one or more of these issues, a vast majority support Bush. Bush's support is directly proportional to misperceptions of facts.


An individual who says he’s Andy Kaufman has surfaced in New York City, claiming he faked his own death. Check it out for yourself.

The following spam hit my inbox today...

Secretly read other people's E-Mails! Click here!
a.. Now you can easily ready anyone's e-mails on your pc!
b.. Use it to find out if your special someone cheats on you!
c.. Act now and save big on the amazing EMAIL SPY!

(No, I’m not giving the link.)

CRYPTIQUEReplace the dilithium crystals.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004


Days occur when I feel like I should be in hiding. The surrealism that streams from the inescapable screens seems to suck all the air from the life support. (To the point, in this instance, that Doc40 almost, but not quite called in sick.) But then – while watching finally watching Matrix Revolution on ppv, that wasn’t quite as bad as I’d been led to believe – a thought occurred to me. Could it be that the forty something percentile for whom GWB can do no wrong (and probably find Jay Leno entertaining) are really protecting a desperate-deep and bovine emotional investment? Could it be that, in the dire aftermath of the Al Qaeda attack on New York, some were so consumed by fear of the out-there that they cleaved to the bullshit of the Bush Gang and now are too far-gone stubborn, even when there’s the pointless fucking crusade being lost to the Saracens, and the generals are turning against their fatuous hero, to admit, even to themselves, they made a dreadful mistake? Can we offer them some dignified, face-saving way out by which middle America can disengage from the greedy simian clutches?

But what constitutes a way out to people who believe in the imminent arrival of the Rapture?

Earlier, on PBS, Gore Vidal remarked that Hitler simply lacked the Bush charm. He smiled regally, but wasn't joking.

CRYPTIQUEI’ve got a bike, you can ride if you like.

Sunday, May 23, 2004


I started collecting the poetry composed to beat spam blockers, and folks like munz and HCB (who incidently has an irrate letter printed in this months edition the Brit rock mag Mojo) sent me examples. But it all fast became repetitive and I grew bored, deciding that enough was a enough, and mail stuffers with computers were not going to write Howl no matter how long I waited. But then this one came over the electronic transom, and being of such size and determination, and also so totally lacking in typography, I couldn’t restrain myself from posting it (if only on the principal of waddaya-want-ona-Sunday?) Are we supposed to conclude the first word is a statement of influence? The last word is “octant.”

zimmerman efficient stockholder continuant question dominate thither bursty cyanide tap freedman inventor invincible aaa clausius corset sidewall asteroid wilsonian abram aarhus blomberg glimpse married repetition merry convince anatomic expatiate andean boorish rotogravure checklist bessel it requisite everglades antiperspirant ardent dragonfly nightcap profess diverge consequential mangle oedipus digram kerry diffractometer repent arizona perversion tv forgiven liable griffin competition monadic chamfer chlorinate conceptual alexander peal seismography spate elite converse lethargy preference ana flash coco eucre banbury timon estes radium pundit sent brendan claret chicken vengeful amerada ceramic cleanup climatology beecham abstain ketosis snare altogether coincide twice alexis impeach divert plump blockade plutonium slope bennett cos three dutchman inertance conspicuous scrooge militate kazoo caveman avocet kruse whitcomb newbold adulate angstrom courage churchwomen detach pyongyang atavism desiderata coolheaded uniprocessor manor there'll anonymity discomfit cleavage automata algorithm anglophobia fischer mussel arid tack twine illusive snakelike skylight firehouse revocable bedevil gentry bitt knurl hesperus berea angular buchanan crowberry beginner attache ambassador often harrow bmw maya cheney fete shatterproof mullen cravat domingo armour economic result curtain workmanlike teamster cryptanalyst emplace fang bookshelves cola ampersand ameslan apprehensive friedman cinema umbra excavate ark curdle conciliatory dossier crankcase babyhood papa reserpine roam lundquist lethe pant embryo datum scribble arty apparatus clomp o'connell convex unbidden ocean dixie loretta comprehend catatonic tamarack teen anneal chair mayst admix conscience presage opossum midweek hoot coupon biddable snow strangle trianon carlton allspice campus congestive lounge judicature teensy verity innocent depress antarctic dunlap dihedral entropy dextrose cabinetry eggshell blackout lobule project czech sleight saturate seeable boldface etymology culpa bicker dust modicum loy alga sorrowful beefy definitive census pierson consul regimen angora slim pantheism bauhaus warehouse anton uhf butterfly colby footstool antonio jibe tribal teenage faculty insouciant pomp bellyache matthews citron eyed dreamy edwina homology pintail captious sputnik tactile klein sooth aquarius desire ukraine raw sheriff bespeak graze blocky appraise blanchard bandage bluejacket besiege detonable chicory aphrodite prescriptive broglie herpetology cooky shoal fete longhand let playtime cavil washy duff mustang staff ashmolean agony floor boolean resistive polytechnic eigenvector disseminate enfant husky linda load remark bead contestant coda why maltose oratorical custom brassiere snipe walt latinate anita differentiable lifelike garibaldi holt annoy echidna dispelling refugee coercible mortem board balkan cupric troika chain tintype concatenate coliseum cluj simonson deception harold bookseller contaminant fogging clearwater billy muslin sagebrush eke statesmen gab formidable nazism oriental standpoint beam coquina carey wabash infatuate campaign jeremiah manifest puffin harmonica colorimeter tansy don chickadee east thirteenth dive finery dandy allis highest assessor pulverable zagging dragon booth contingent seidel gog tension armchair cabin deciduous strive dater octant

CRYPTIQUEWho needs a cryptique after all that gibberish?