Saturday, March 13, 2010


The idea of a Dan Dare movie fills me with dread. As a small English boy – before they invented sex or drugs or rock & roll – I was wholly and helplessly addicted to Dan Dare: Pilot of the Future, (my only other pastimes were hanging out with my dog, The Goon Show, setting fires. and creating explosions.) Every week I waited with bated breath for the new edition of Eagle in which Dan Dare was the lead full color, two page strip. In later life Dan Dare was only replaced by Elvis Presley in my obsessions. Over the years, there has always been talk of a Dan Dare movie. It was something to be both desired and dreaded. If it was good, all would be bliss. If bad, contracts would need to be put out on all concerned, with an extra Tony Soprano, hurt-them-very-badly-before-you-kill-them clause.
Now DD movie talk currently appears to be taking another go-round. Seemingly the rights to the property were acquired by Virgin Comics (and Richard Branson) a few years ago. The idea, when Branson acquired the rights, was to relaunch the character first in the comics – bringing Garth Ennis aboard to create a darker version of Dan Dare. (Ennis also has two other comic properties currently in development: Preacher and The Boys.) Once revived, the plan was then to create a film out of the property. That project has been “slow to develop, but now that Warner Brothers has picked it up and signed Sam Worthington (an Australian) the pieces might just fall in place. Neither a writer nor director is attached, but the search is currently on.” All I can say is “fuck it, assholes, stop searching. I’m here. Call me. You won’t find anyone better for the job.”

Click here for Hawkwind (what else?)

The secret word is Treen


For the education of Americans and the young, the Mekon was the ruler of the Treens of northern Venus, the arch enemy of Dan Dare and the Interplanetary Space Fleet. Basically reptilian, he was created by scientific experimentation, engineered for a very high intelligence. As such he had a swollen head containing his massive brain and atrophied body, and moved around on a levitating chair. His overwhelming ambition was to be evil dictator of the know universe. Among my peers he was considered way cool.


We can only hope that the Bill Hicks movie will not cause the same dismay as a bad Dan Dare movie. American is a documentary so we won’t be confronted by the horror of an actor playing Hicks. And anyway (thanks to Valerie) there is a trailer. (Click here.)


SPACE OPERA (More Dan Dare)

Friday, March 12, 2010


Last Saturday, I ran a piece by David Brooks – The New York Times village idiot – that blathered on about how the Tea Bag activists tactics were not dissimilar to those of the Yippies of the 1960s. So okay. I was sold by the basic observation. But, when Brooks started comparing Glenn Beck to Abbie Hoffman, folks cried enough already. I only met Abbie on two occasions, and I’ve neither met Beck nor would want to, but be assured, good people. The two are totally dissimilar. Beck is no Hoffman. Mercifully Alexander Zaitchik has made the same point less flippantly and in print. (From Munz.)

“There is a fresh interpretive fad in the young field of Tea Party Studies: The New Right of 2010 as the New Left of the 1960s. According to this nascent meme, today’s conservative grassroots holds strong echoes of earlier radicalism on the left. The Tea Party movement that worships Sarah Palin and screams for Barack Obama’s birth certificate is, in this view, more than just the latest herpetic outbreak of Richard Hofstadter’s paranoid “pseudo-conservatism.” It is a reincarnation of the New Left and 1960s counterculture. The Tea Partiers, it is becoming fashionable to argue, are the heirs not just of the John Birch Society and the young Barry Goldwater, but also of Students for a Democratic Society and the young Abbie Hoffman. If this analogy smells suspect, it’s for good reason. Yet it appears to be gaining traction, especially among a certain breed of moderate with confused understandings of Tea Party conservatism, the New Left, and '60s counterculture. In late February, Michael Lind wrote a Salon piece in which he claimed, "The tea partiers are the hippies of our time…In Glenn Beck, the countercultural right has found its own Abbie Hoffman." Although Hoffman was never a hippie (he called flower children "glassy eyed zombies" and passed through the civil rights and antiwar movements on his way to founding the Youth International Party in 1968), and Beck is neither exuberant nor radical (he is a sexually repressed Mormon businessman who exemplifies modern crackpot reaction), Lind’s strange comparison nonetheless found an admirer in David Brooks of the New York Times. Last Friday, March 4, Brooks expanded on Lind’s thesis in a column titled "The Wal-Mart Hippies." (Click here for the rest.)

And while we on the subject of chaos and disorder, my ego insisted that I post a link to some of my own recollections of back when I was in the 1960s confrontational demonstration business. (Just click here.)

And now click here for The Rolling Stones (when they were really good)

The secret words are Forced and Repeat


The demented right are currently very strong on mangling Jefferson’s line about the “tree of liberty being watered with blood.” We used to be pretty strong on that too, back in 1968, so I though I’d take a look at what Jefferson actually said. (Yes, it’s a fucking history lesson.) The phrase occurs in a letter to William Stephens Smith, from Paris, November 13, 1787…

“What country can preserve its liberties, if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon & pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots & tyrants. It is its natural manure."

He also wrote to Abigail Adams earlier in the same year…

"The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions, that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all. I like a little rebellion now & then. It is like a storm in the atmosphere"

The problem with this quote from Jefferson is that every fool, myself included, believes his remarks refer to his or her personal rebellion. Further reading into Jefferson is required, and taking account of the literacy levels of the Sarah Palin New Right, that isn’t about to happen, much less any understanding of the intricacies of Jefferson like – for instance – his passionate defense of liberty only applying to white males. Black folks were for only hard work and hot night-romping.


The first rule of Frozdick Fight Club was: you do not talk about Frozdick Fight Club.

(Image supplied by the wonderful Valerie.)


Thursday, March 11, 2010


When this Nobel laureate speaks, as a big fan, I tend to listen.

“Democrats and Republicans live in different universes, both intellectually and morally. Take the question of helping the unemployed in the middle of a deep slump. What Democrats believe is what textbook economics says: that when the economy is deeply depressed, extending unemployment benefits not only helps those in need, it also reduces unemployment. That’s because the economy’s problem right now is lack of sufficient demand, and cash-strapped unemployed workers are likely to spend their benefits. In fact, the Congressional Budget Office says that aid to the unemployed is one of the most effective forms of economic stimulus, as measured by jobs created per dollar of outlay.But that’s not how Republicans see it. Here’s what Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona, the second-ranking Republican in the Senate, had to say when defending Mr. Bunning’s position (although not joining his blockade): unemployment relief “doesn’t create new jobs. In fact, if anything, continuing to pay people unemployment compensation is a disincentive for them to seek new work.” (Click here for the rest)

Click here for Lonnie Donegan

The secret word is Benighted


Worthing? I went to school in Worthing. This is Worthing pier. This is Worthing pier before animator/composer Cyriak brought the giant teddy bears climbing out of the sea. Click now to see what happens next.

Meanwhile, in addition, the wondrous Wendy has sent us a video of Patti Smith and our pal Lennie Kaye performing at the Jim Carroll tribute. Click here.


SPACE OPERA (Don’t forget the immortal words of Ellen Ripley)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


For years, a tinfoil hat was the best thing we had to protect us from CIA mind control or the thought probes of inscrutable aliens, but now it has been totally superseded by inventor Michael Menkin and his Thought Screen Helmet…

“The thought screen helmet scrambles telepathic communication between aliens and humans. Aliens cannot immobilize people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds or communicate with them using their telepathy. When aliens can't communicate or control humans, they do not take them. The thought screen helmet has effectively stopped several types of aliens from abducting or controlling humans. Only four failures have been reported since 1998. Two of those failures were encounters with alien-human hybrids. In 2005, a cloth helmet with a smaller area of Velostat, which had a Velcro strap, was easily removed by an alien-human hybrid. Another failure occurred in 2007 when two alien-human hybrids snuck up behind a frail woman, tackled her, and forcedly removed her helmet. The helmet still works for people being abducted by aliens, but not by their alien-human hybrids who are now integrating into our societies.” (Click here for all you need to know.)

Click here for Count V

The secret word is Wooweewoo


Click here and stare into the animated version of the image. (Help here from TheAnomalyMan.)


It seemed to be settled that a bloody great asteroid hitting the Yucatan wiped out the dinosaurs all those millions of non-biblical years ago. Then all these doubts reared their reptilian heads. Maybe it was multiple asteroids, maybe it was a mighty volcanic episode, or something else entirely. Finally it seems we’re back to believing it was that one massive rock.

“It's official: The extinction of the dinosaurs and a host of other species 65.5 million years ago was caused by a massive asteroid that crashed into the Gulf of Mexico, creating worldwide havoc, an international team of researchers said Thursday. The 7.5-mile-wide asteroid was traveling at a speed about 10 times that of a rifle bullet when it hit, releasing a billion times more energy than the Hiroshima atom bomb. The impact blew dirt and rock around the world, set massive wildfires, knocked down forests worldwide, triggered massive tsunamis and earthquakes of magnitude 11 or larger and even caused parts of the continent to slip into the ocean. Those events wiped out more than half of all species on Earth in what has been called the greatest extinction event of all time. The species lost included not only the dinosaurs, but also the bird-like pterosaurs, large marine reptiles and many smaller land and sea creatures, clearing the way for the emergence of mammals as the dominant life form on the planet. All of this may sound familiar… In recent years, however, some scientists have speculated about alternative causes for the extinction, arguing that it could have resulted from multiple asteroid impacts or, more likely, massive volcanic eruptions at the Deccan Traps in India. To settle the question, European researchers decided to assemble what Kirk R. Johnson of the Denver Museum of Nature and Science called "a K-T boundary dream team," a collection of 45 internationally renowned scientists in a broad spectrum of disciplines to analyze the possible causes of the extinctions.” (Click here for more)


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Tuesday, March 09, 2010


In the past we have run rants by Chris Hedges, but this one is more bleak and dire than anything we have previously posted…

“There are no constraints left to halt America’s slide into a totalitarian capitalism. Electoral politics are a sham. The media have been debased and defanged by corporate owners. The working class has been impoverished and is now being plunged into profound despair. The legal system has been corrupted to serve corporate interests. Popular institutions, from labor unions to political parties, have been destroyed or emasculated by corporate power. And any form of protest, no matter how tepid, is blocked by an internal security apparatus that is starting to rival that of the East German secret police. The mounting anger and hatred, coursing through the bloodstream of the body politic, make violence and counter-violence inevitable. Brace yourself. The American empire is over. And the descent is going to be horrifying.
Those singled out as internal enemies will include people of color, immigrants, gays, intellectuals, feminists, Jews, Muslims, union leaders and those defined as “liberals.” They will be condemned as anti-American and blamed for our decline. The economic collapse, which remains mysterious and enigmatic to most Americans, will be pinned by demagogues and hatemongers on these hapless scapegoats. And the random acts of violence, which are already leaping up around the fringes of American society, will justify harsh measures of internal control that will snuff out the final vestiges of our democracy. The corporate forces that destroyed the country will use the information systems they control to mask their culpability. The old game of blaming the weak and the marginal, a staple of despotic regimes, will empower the dark undercurrents of sadism and violence within American society and deflect attention from the corporate vampires that have drained the blood of the country.” Click here for the rest

Click here for Rage Against The Machine

The secret word is Carnage


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Alexander Graham Frozdick thought his communications system would beat out the iPhone. He was sorely disappointed.


Monday, March 08, 2010


A squirrel monkey, Baker, in bio-pack couch being readied for Jupiter.

Today seems to be devoted to our treatment of our fellow creatures, maybe on the basic principle that the way we treat animals is deeply connected with the way we treat each other. This story by Michael Collins highlights the way in which monkey are being used and abused by NASA.

“The future of manned space exploration was revealed Feb. 1 when President Obama unveiled his 2011 budget request for NASA. The president proposed ending the Constellation program, an initiative introduced by President Bush in 2004 to take Americans back to the moon by 2020 and to Mars beyond. Obama’s grounding of the manned space program has unleashed a torrent of criticism that could gut the move to prioritize robotic missions and technological advancements rather than planting flags on the moon. Nowhere will the impact of how the great space debate plays out be more pronounced than at Pasadena’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
But far from JPL, 18 sociable monkeys sit in cages at the NASA Space Radiation Laboratory in Upton, NY, where they will be injected with gamma radiation by scientists who contend that the results can be correlated to humans facing long outer space flights through fields of intense cosmic radiation. The budget’s approval by Congress will determine the future of these squirrel monkeys in the $1.75 million experiment to see how much radiation the critters can take. Animal testing of this sort hasn’t been done in nearly three decades. While officials maintain they will follow all institutional, state and federal guidelines in caring for the monkeys, some animal rights groups are outraged.” (Click here for more.)

Click here for Pink Floyd

The secret word is Sorrow


One teenage summer when I was attending St. Martin’s School of Art, I worked a short order cook, flipping burgers in the cafeteria in the London Zoo. During breaks I’d wander around and look at the animals behind the bars. Most seemed depressed and many looked close to psychotic. I have disliked zoos ever since. The unfortunate death of SeaWorld's Dawn Brancheau at SeaWorld seems to have brought the conditions of captive animals to the fore. We’ve already run Alexander Cockburn’s piece on Orca revolt and now there’s more.

"Disturbingly recent exceptions aside, civilized nations now agree that burning fellow human beings at the stake, torturing them or enslaving them is inhuman. The day will come when civilized nations will agree that imprisoning wild animals in zoos, whipping them about in circus acts from city to city or forcing them to do tricks for our amusement in such places as SeaWorld, Marineland and Epcot is as cruel to the animals as it is lewd of the people watching them. That day is far off, no doubt. Pulling profits and emoting power over weaker creatures, vicariously enjoyed by those audiences that delight in the safe splashing of a killer whale or the harmlessness of a caged animal, are strong impulses. Too strong to be outdone by notions of rights for beasts that don't speak English or pay taxes. Until then, handlers of animals forced into unnatural situations will continue to die, as SeaWorld's Dawn Brancheau did in February when a killer whale dragged her underwater after turning the tables and making her its plaything. I keep reading references to Brancheau's death as "tragic." What lazy news writers mean is that her death was sad, unfortunate, avoidable and, from the spectators' (but not the whale's) perspective, lurid, as it was for SeaWorld's PR." (Click here for the rest.)



Sunday, March 07, 2010


We had some help from Travis J. I. Corcoran on this one. The idea is to construct a truly homicidal virtual hamburger. The instructions are very simple…

Go the Burger King website.
Select the triple whopper.
Up the number of beef patties from 3 to 5.
Click the “more” button on the right hand side.
Up the bacon to 5.
Add 5 “steakhouse patties”.
Add 5 “steakhouse XT”.
Add 5 “Whopper Junior patties”.
click “add to order”
enjoy the popup you get which says “would you like anything else with that?”

What now have here a 6,880 calorie mega monster with almost half a pound (197 grams) of saturated fat, over 1 lb of total fat, and 18 times the USRDA of sodium (8,990 mg). Wash it down with a Oreo BK Sundae Shake. (Chunks of Oreo cookies blended into a chocolate milk shake and toped with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. “So thick, you might want to ask for a BK Pipe straw to avoid straw-cloggage.”) That’s another 980 calories. Plus the degenerates among us might want to throw a couple or three shots of Jack Daniels. With luck we’ll live until Tuesday.

Click here for Howling Wolf

The secret word is Clog

THE FROZDICK FAMILY (External Submission)

Chairchick Morning Glory Frozdick and Presidentress Dimethyl Frozdick convene the First International Party Party Convention at the opening dinner and raffle.

Here from the first time is an episode of the Frozdick Family that didn’t come from in-house. When Munz submitted this it was placed before the Governing Committee of the Frozdick Trust who passed it for publication although they considered the caption too long, and, in a dissenting opinion, Chastity Frozdick deplored the nudity. Further submissions are welcome. The only rules are that the photos must be in black & white and not deliberately humorous.


And for Chastity Frozdick and anyone else who might be offended. Here’s the…