RICHARD PRYOR -- RIP

OKAY YOU CYBER-PAGANS, GET FESTIVE WID IT...

IT’S PENGUIN WHACKING TIME AGAIN!
This link has been posted before, but since Lazzafairy reminded of it, and it is also so disturbingly funny, I can’t resist doing it again. Ambiguous as Doc40 is about Yule and Solstice traditions, maybe it will become one. (Click once to load a penguin, click again to whack.)
http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf

BRAND NEW PANDA CAM!
After all the fun we’ve had watching Butterstick, the San Diego Zoo weighs in with a brand new cam of their own that features multiple non-bears.
http://www.sandiegozoo.org/zoo/ex_panda_station.html

But if your still loyal to Butterstick, here’s the link yet again...
http://animal.discovery.com/cams/pandavidr.html

NEVER...
Play cards with a man called Doc
Eat at a place called Mom’s
Sleep with a woman called April Dawn...
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/08/AR2005120802156.html

OR YOU MIGHT END UP LIKE THE JAPANESE
Who are beset by giant jellyfish that are real and not some coming-home-to-roost product of Toho Pictures.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-1910322,00.html

MEANWHILE MIKE WALLACE HAD A QUESTION FOR GEORGE BUSH
Talking with the Boston Globe about his new book, Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes fame offered a question he'd like to ask President Bush. "What in the world prepared you to be the commander in chief of the largest superpower in the world? … You apparently were incurious. You didn't want to travel. You knew very little about the military. … Do you think that has anything to do with the fact that the country is so [bleeped] up?"

ALTHOUGH REVEALED AS A STUNT
The video is stupidly funny...
http://www.snopes.com/photos/advertisements/mailbox.asp

AND FINALLY VIRTUAL GIFT FROM DOC40 (MAYBE)
As far as I can tell, this site offers free downloads of a whole bunch of old Deviants recordings if you have the technology and the expertise to use it.
http://thepiratebay.org/details.php?id=3375718

CRYPTIQUE – You gonna see me coming in a big black Cadillac

The secret word is Slay

BUT AFTER ALL OF YESTERDAY’S GLOOM AND DOOM (SEX)...
Here’s more than you ever needed to know about Jenna...
(With pictures)
http://www.jennafatigue.blogspot.com/

BUT YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME (DRUGS)
Right before Yule, New York narcs make Manhattan vipers very fucking miserable. Shall we all go to the window and, in unison, scream "fuck this shit!"
(With pictures)
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1208052cartoon1.html

The secret words are Rock & roll

OKAY, IT’S ALL OVER
The ever watchful Kaymo sends over the following. The first real bad news comes from London and The Guardian...
"In Egyptian myth, Apophis was the ancient spirit of evil and destruction, a demon that was determined to plunge the world into eternal darkness.A fitting name, astronomers reasoned, for a menace now hurtling towards Earth from outerspace. Scientists are monitoring the progress of a 390-metre wide asteroid discovered last year that is potentially on a collision course with the planet, and are imploring governments to decide on a strategy for dealing with it. Nasa has estimated that an impact from Apophis, which has an outside chance of hitting the Earth in 2036, would release more than 100,000 times the energy released in the nuclear blast over Hiroshima. Thousands of square kilometres would be directly affected by the blast but the whole of the Earth would see the effects of the dust released into the atmosphere."
But for a whole lot more...
http://www.space.com/news/051103_asteroid_apophis.html

BUT THE INUIT CIRCUMPOLAR CONFERENCE (ICC) IS STILL FIGHTING
"For Inuit, warming is likely to disrupt or even destroy their hunting and food-sharing culture as reduced sea ice causes the animals on which they depend to decline, become less accessible, and possibly become extinct,"
http://www.breitbart.com/news/2005/12/07/051207182757.ht1oak7y.html

LIKE HURRY IT UP, OKAY?
I keep hearing tantalizing whispers that a megaton Republican sex scandal is about to burst that will blast all the way from the White House to Saudi Arabia, but the damned thing so-far refuses to detonate. Here are a couple of examples of the current whispers...
http://hotlineblog.nationaljournal.com/archives/2005/12/dc_sex_scandal.html
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/duke-cunningham/index.php
I just wish someone would move it along and solve the problem of...

THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER
Historians move towards the conclusion that Boy George is finally easing out James Buchanan (1856-1860) for the title (sent by doug the bass)...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucrr/20051203/cm_ucrr/isgeorgebushtheworstpresidentever

AND HAROLD PINTER EXPLAINS WHY
Pinter, too sick to pick up his Nobel Prize, delivers a searing attack on Bush and much much more. (sent by munz)
http://www.commondreams.org/views05/1208-28.htm

AND FINALLY
Momma said there’d be days like this
There’d be days like this, my momma said
I can only present this graphic with no further comment.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/25788560/

The secret number is Delusional

(Roll credits – play theme)
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows the good guys lost
Everybody knows the fight was fixed
The poor stay poor, the rich get rich
That's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that the boat is leaking
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their father or their dog just died
Everybody knows that you love me baby
Everybody knows that you really do
Everybody knows that you've been faithful
Ah give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discreet
But there were so many people you just had to meet
Without your clothes
And everybody knows
(Fade to black)

RUNNING OUT OF ROAD
I had a whole bunch of stuff that I was going to post tonight – including the latest move by The Inuit Circumpolar Conference, but the hour has grown late and I seem to have run out of time. So let me just present a link to my mini-treatise on hangovers in today’s LACityBeat Special Drinking Issue, and look for the rest of fun stuff later today.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2969&IssueNum=131

The secret word is Morning

EXPLAIN THIS ONE, DOROTHY!
For the last couple of days, I’ve been coughing like Doc Holiday and feeling lousy. Flu? Cold? Stress? Who the hells knows? Nothing that a good dose of laudanum wouldn’t cure, if I could find an apothecary (or maybe a clandestine Chinaman.) Expression of sympathy and gifts of narcotics would be quite appropriate. And indeed, I might have remained slumped and abject well into tomorrow had not the ever vigilant MrMR sent over the following and raised my ire. I know Kansas has gone all to hell since Uncle Bill Burroughs departed, but this behavior is totally unacceptable...
(12-05) 20:25 PST Lawrence, Kan. (AP) --
A college professor whose planned course on creationism and intelligent design was canceled after he derided Christian conservatives said he was beaten by two men along a rural road early Monday.
University of Kansas religious studies professor Paul Mirecki said the men referred to the class when they beat him on the head, shoulders and back with their fists, and possibly a metal object, the Lawrence Journal-World reported.
"I didn't know them," Mirecki said of his assailants, "but I'm sure they knew me."
Messages left by the Associated Press on Mirecki's cell phone were not immediately returned.
Sheriff's Lt. Kari Wempe said Mirecki reported the attack just before 7 a.m.
The professor said he confronted the men after they were tailgating his vehicle along a road south of Lawrence. "I'm mostly shaken up, and I got some bruises and sore spots," he said.
Mirecki planned to offer a spring course called "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies" after the Kansas Board of Education decided to include more criticism of evolution in science standards for elementary and secondary students.
Last week, Mirecki asked the university to cancel the class after he created a furor by sending an e-mail to a student organization mocking Christian fundamentalists.
Mirecki had referred to religious conservatives as "fundies," and said a course describing intelligent design as mythology would be a "nice slap in their big fat face." He has apologized for those comments.

And since we’re dealing with the shame of Lawrence, Kansas...

The secret word is Quantrill

GEORGE BEST
For those who know, Miss Templeton has a moving blog on George Best's funeral. (You have to scroll down a couple of items.)
http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/

THE GREAT ESCAPE
Our pal, MrMR points out to me that Al Qaeda is as busy escaping from Afghan jails as Brit POWs were from Germany Stalags in WW2. Seems that nothing can go right in the Hogan’s Heroes world of the War on Terror. The following is an excerpt from the NY Times...

"WASHINGTON, Dec. 3 - The prisoners were considered some of the most dangerous men among the hundreds of terror suspects locked behind the walls of a secretive and secure American military detention center in Bagram, Afghanistan Their escape, however, might as well have been a breakout from the county jail.
According to military officials familiar with the episode, the suspects are believed to have picked the lock on their cell, changed out of their bright orange uniforms and made their way through a heavily guarded military base under the cover of night. They then crawled over a faulty wall where a getaway vehicle was apparently waiting for them, the officials said. "It is embarrassing and amazing at the same time," an American defense official said. "It was a disaster."
The fact of the escape was disclosed by the American authorities shortly after it set off an intense manhunt at Bagram, 40 miles north of Kabul, on the morning of July 11. But internal military documents and interviews with military and intelligence officials indicate it was a far more serious breach than the Defense Department has acknowledged.
One of the four suspects was identified as Al Qaeda's highest-ranking operative in Southeast Asia when he was captured in 2002, a fact that emerged only during an unrelated military trial last month. Another, a Saudi, was also described by intelligence officials as an important Qaeda operative in Afghanistan.
The detainees planned their breakout meticulously, United States officials said, apparently studying the guards' routines, getting themselves moved into a cell that was less visible to the guards and taking advantage of construction work that was intended to expand and improve security at the prison.
"Based upon the findings of the investigation, it appears that the detainees had a clear understanding of the operating procedures of the guards inside the facility," said the chief spokesman for United States military forces in Afghanistan, Col. James R. Yonts."

UNFORTUNATELY...
MrMR also responds to my Saturday post when I proposed a Doc40 corporate buy-out...
"sorry my friend as you know you have a bad fucken incorrigible attitude that we thankfully get for free , now who wants to taint that equation, and risk the new u ?"
So there go my dreams of shameless luxury. Ah well.

The secret word is Colditz