Saturday, October 29, 2005

To paraphrase an old lawyer joke...Q: What’s the indictment of one Bush henchman? A: A good start.

MrMR (who knows a thing or two about conspiracies) comments (reminding me that, before Bush can be removed, Cheney has to be unseated, or the result would be to aweful to contemplate)...Gordon Liddy went to jail for more than five years to cover his puppet masters, Mayhap the weight of facing thirty years at the hands of what appears to be a serious prosecutor, might in fact loosen libby's tongue, and rekindle his co-conspiratorial memories of Rove and Cheney , whom he is currently falling on the sword for.

And Ed B. forwards a link to an analysis of how Bush may fair as the pressure mounts, which, although kinda heavy on the 12 step philosophy (remember that 13 steps lead to the gallows) does contain a further link to an hilarious vid-clip of the future POTUS drunk at a wedding.

Yesterday I asked what the fuck is a sleestack, and, at Doc40, one gets answers. Some girl sent the short form and a link...
A sleestack is one of the green-skinned, bug-eyed, vaguely reptilian bipeds that menaced the castaway-in-time humans in the classic saturday-morning live-action '70s show "land of the lost."

While MrMR (again) who knows a thing or two about the deeply weird sends full chapter and verse...
Sleestak are large green humanoids with both reptilian and insectoid features; they have scaly skin with frills around the neck, bulbous unblinking eyes, pincer-like hands, stubby tails, and a single blunt horn on top of the head. Sleestak are more sophisticated than Pakuni, able to manufacture crossbows, rope, nets, periscopes ("Fair Trade") and other relatively advanced technologies. They were once significantly more developed, however; Sleestak are the degenerate descendants of the Altrusians (see below). The Sleestak have a current population of about 7,000 according to the Library of Skulls ("The Longest Day"), but there were only three Sleestak costumes available for the show's production, which sometimes required creative editing to create the illusion that they were that numerous.
Sleestak live in the Lost City, an underground tunnel complex originally constructed by the Altrusians. They hate bright light and rarely venture out during the day. Sleestak also have a "hibernation season" during which they cocoon themselves into rocky alcoves using some sort of webbing; cool air keeps them in hibernation, and the heat from lava in a pool that the character Peter Koenig (see below) dubbed "Devil's Cauldron" inside the caverns of the Lost City revives them again on a regular schedule (the episode "Follow That Dinosaur"). The Sleestak are very defensive of the Lost City. They know that their ancestors built it, but do not know how or why. They have occasionally tried exploring beyond the chasm that separates the Lost City from the rest of the Land, but their expeditions generally never return and they consider the City to be their only refuge.
The Sleestak have encountered many other humans who have become trapped in the Land of the Lost before the Marshalls arrived, and regard humans as a terrible threat; they attempt to capture and sacrifice humans to their god at every opportunity.
Altrusian moths are required for fertilization of Sleestak eggs, and the Sleestak hunt them when they emerge during the night ("The Longest Day"). In "Blackout," the Sleestak scheme to cause perpetual night by disabling a second clock pylon, allowing them to capture the Altrusian moths. The Sleestak planned to devour these, which would in one thousand hours yield a thousand Sleestak, which could then resume control over the Land of the Lost. Unfortunately, the cold of the long night also began killing the moths.
Sleestak eggs are gestated in a communal hatchery. The Sleestak capture live animals and tie them up there, leaving them for the young to feed on when they hatch ("Fair Trade"). Occasionally, a Sleestak will be hatched that is a "throwback" to their Altrusian ancestors, being born with greater intelligence and with an innate knowledge of Altrusian history and technology—though not, for some reason, knowledge of Pylon operation. The other Sleestak regard these throwbacks as a threat, and so they are also sacrificed to the Sleestak god when detected. One such throwback named S'latch was encountered by the Marshalls in the episode "The Hole", but S'latch was never seen again thereafter.
The Sleestak have a Sleestak Council and Sleestak Leader. The Leader wears a distinctive pendant, and Enik occassionally negotiates with him, as in the episode "Fair Trade".

HCB forwards some very funny graphics...

The secret word is Notwithstanding

Friday, October 28, 2005

And I can’t improve on Wonkette...
The radical right-wing sleestaks that stalk this land hopped up on quasi-Christian kookdom and stronger than ever, have beaten the President into supine submission on Miers and are slavering at the mouth for satisfaction. (But what the fuck is a sleestak?)

Most of you may not care, others may not know what the hell it’s all about, but this whole New Times takeover and the demise of the Village Voice as we’ve known it is kinda personal. And, if that ain’t enough, any two of the above might provide a reason. Also it’s bringing out the worst in some of my fellow travellers. (Call it Hitchens syndrome, or maybe just chickenshit.) Doc40 has been getting beaucoup hits from an NT server, and also accusations of how I'm afraid of corporate takeover. On the latter matter, quite the reverse, mes braves. I think, in a weirdass way we (the good guys) are gonna win this one. Donnell Alexander goes deep in the current LA CityBeat...

But they also get their licks in...
With this likely merger, the alternative press in this country will suffer the same kind of corporate consolidation that other media outlets have gone through. Like the daily newspaper chain model that eliminated competition in cities decades ago, this will establish a new paradigm of monopoly, killing the idea of competing editorial voices.
As we’ve seen in places like San Francisco, where the venerable Bay Guardian has been under-attack by the two New Times chain papers in the region, New Times doesn’t like to compete. They like to undermine and destroy. New Times has been negotiating deals with Clear Channel, owner of radio stations and concert venues (nice bedfellows, huh?) to be the only advertising vehicle for Clear Channel properties, blocking other papers from ad dollars.
And Clear Channel is a perfect example of what happens when previously independent media come under one parent company. But where everyone was openly by angered the loss of music diversification, and where Clear Channel was so easily targeted as the enemy all things artistic, somehow the same behavior in the world of alt. newsweeklies has been met with casual shoulder shrugs and a general sense ambivalence.
And now, for the moment, I think I'm done on this topic...

Frederica, Del. (from Breibart)
The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said. The 42-year-old woman used rope to hang herself across the street from some homes on a moderately busy road late Tuesday or early Wednesday, state police said. The body, suspended about 15 feet above the ground, could be easily seen from passing vehicles. State police spokesman Cpl. Jeff Oldham and neighbors said people noticed the body at breakfast time Wednesday but dismissed it as a holiday prank. Authorities were called to the scene more than three hours later. "They thought it was a Halloween decoration," Fay Glanden, wife of Mayor William Glanden, told The (Wilmington) News Journal. "It looked like something somebody would have rigged up," she said.

The secret word is Noose

Indictments today? Yes? Please?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Trust the New York Post and Andrea Peyser to get the slimy heart of things with a helping of dirt and innuendo concerning the sex lives of Judy Miller and Maureen Dowd.

Tom DeLay had the unbelievable gall to hitch a ride to his arraignment on a private plane owned and paid for by RJ Reynolds. "DeLay's staff disclosed that he flew to Houston on Thursday morning on a corporate jet owned by R.J. Reynolds, a longtime contributor that has flown him to Puerto Rico and other destinations; they said the jet was "used in compliance with regulations." The company, which has also given $17,000 to DeLay's legal defense fund, did not have a comment Friday."


and how he helped Nixon stagger out of office. "I think they need him at the WH. Almost time for whisky and prayer sessions, just like the old days..."

maybe you can fit all citizens with one of these...
(or as some girl remarked when she sent the link "maybe THAT'S what the thing was under dubya's jacket!")

ELMER "LEN" DRESSLAR, JR. – RIP (who, for those who never knew, was the voice of the Jolly Green Giant. HCB points out the irony that a parody of the JGG appeared on the cover of the last Village Voice before it fell under the thrall of the New Times junta.)
The secret word is Tomorrow

QUESTION – Can multitasking lead to multifatigue?

CRYPTIQUEYou politically illiterate traitor, such a provocation will be regarded as a declaration of war!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

(From MSNBC) An Austrian man who claimed he was Superman and could fly was hospitalized early Tuesday after leaping from a fourth-floor window, authorities said. Paramedics rushed the 23-year-old man to a hospital in the city of Graz, about 120 miles south of Vienna, after he jumped from a window and suffered head and back injuries, police said. They said the man - who apparently had drunk several bottles of red wine before attempting the jump - appeared at the window ledge at around 4 a.m. and shouted: "I am Superman! Nothing can happen to me!"

(But hang on a minute. If General Zod is out of the dread Phantom Zone and running for POTUS, (see yesterday) what about Ursa and her fabulous boots?

The secret word is Prostrate

And while I was waiting for the Grand Jury to hand down indictments (oh please, please) I found this fabulous review on the web...
Jim Morrison’s Adventures in the Afterlife: A Novel by Mick Farren. Really more a collection of character sketches and subplots all held together by their connection to the Lizard King’s adventures in the hereafter. Aside from Morrison, Doc Holiday features in the story a variety of other characters from Egyptian gods to voodoo loas to the founder of the Foursquare Church. The book is filled with humor that requires a breadth of knowledge from pop trivia to historical minutiae - in other words, it’s a lot of fun. The overall story is good and the subplots are interesting, but this book is about the characters and the characters are compelling.

You know, you really ought to read this book if you haven’t, and buy it, if you haven’t, or republish it as a handsome paperback if you’re in that line of work.
In one of those moments of weary clarity, I had a final thought on the whole New Times business (see most of yesterday) and recalled the story of how LA New Times carried nothing on the attack on the World Trade Center in their issue of September 11th, 2001. Maybe the destruction in New York fell outside their formulaic editorial parameters, or maybe the attack happened too close to deadline for coverage to be cost effective. I’m not sure this is true, but I repeat it because this is a blog, not the Washington Post and it makes me viciously happy. I also wonder if New Times papers will be reporting the story below that Colonel Boylan does want over-signified.

I found this anonymous comment on the web. I post it without any of my own.
Recently, the publisher for whom I currently work told me that he had finally discovered that dirty, little secret of publishing success: pay the writers nothing. The alternative weeklies, like many industries, have done good business paying writers little or nothing. And, now, with fear as an incentive, they will be able to exploit this dirty secret in ever more-effective ways.

While reading the merger coverage, I also found myself getting extremely bored with snide cracks about tired old hippies by left-over failed-yuppie hacks. Try saying to my face, you 1960-born scumsuck.

The secret word is Unreconstructed

Or maybe Teargas

"U.S. Army Lt. Col. Steve Boylan, director of the force's combined press center, wrote in an e-mail to reporters, "I ask that when you report on the events, take a moment to think about the effects on the families and those serving in Iraq. The 2,000 service members killed in Iraq supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom is not a milestone. It is an artificial mark on the wall set by individuals or groups with specific agendas and ulterior motives."
And my only reply is yes, Colonel, I am one of those who have an ulterior motive. I want to know for what, in the name of holy hell, these 2,000 Americans, plus Brits, and also tens, if not hundreds of thousands of Iraqis, gave their precious lives.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

It just occurred to me that maybe New Times is the alternative we deserve in a world where Britney Spears hires a limo to transport her dog across the country and some corporate CEO drops a quarter of a million bucks on champagne and lap dances at Scores, and the poor don’t even complain, let alone revolt. (For further clarification take a look at the pic of the NT honchos in the NY Times report.)
Or this shit happens (from some girl)...

Hell, I didn’t like it when underground became alternative...
The news was out yesterday that the long rumored a merger between the New Times corporation and Village Voice Media is a done deal, and, as of now, no one in the alternative ink business really knows what the outcome will be but many are affeared. Especially, as always, the workers being sold down the proverbial river. I think I said about all I had to say in LA CityBeat a couple of weeks ago, and I only need repeat these kind of corporate powerplays can only devalue what little resistance remains in the world print at a time of war, pestilence, global disfunction and a collapsing White House.

But shall we take this in increments?

My original diatribe stands, so far I’ve been proved right, and the piece can be read at...

The only thing to add is that, having written for The Village Voice for six or seven years in the days of (variously) Lester Bangs, Nat Hentoff, Stanley Crouch, Michael Musto, and Cynthia Heimel, I mourn for its debasement and wonder how any of them would fare under the New Times junta.

For the full news report try the NY Times (plus a picture that says it all)

or Editor & Publisher

And although I wonder what makes Dan Savage think New Times is in anyway anti-establishment, here’s the reaction from another independent alt weekly.

Natalie Nichols blogs a major insight into the scumbaghood of NT fuhrer Michael Lacy...

And local reaction in LA can be found if you scroll down a bit at...

Much more will very obviously follow.

The secret word is War

CRYPTIQUEYou ultra-right gangster, you would be well advised to behave with discretion!

Here’s a killer review of my brand new CD "To The Masterlock" by asyd.