Thanx to
all my friends in the USA for being my friends in the USA.
Click here
for the turkey triumph of Wednesday Addams
Click here
for MC5
The secret
word is Baste
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
31 SHOPPING DAYS TO INFINITY
If my
arithmetic is correct we now have just 32 days remaining until, according to
the Mayan calendar, reality is switched off and all of everything just kinda
winks out like the final episode of The Sopranos. I’ve always had a fascination
with End of the World theories from the panic of 999AD to the 19th
century Millerites who, in March of 1844, when The Rapture failed to
materialize and they didn’t rise bodily into the sky and go with God, were
plunged into what became known as the “Great Disappointment.” In more recent
times, we’ve had Nostradamus’ bad boy in the turban in 1999, Y2K in 2000, not to
mention the slightly more real Cuba missile crisis, plus the 1962 incident when a
bear almost kicked off World War III by triggering the wrong alarm, or the
other cluster-fuck in January 1995 when a Norwegian research rocket was
mistaken by the Russians for incoming US ICBMs and a vodka-drunk Boris Yeltsin was minutes from nuking the shit
out of the United States. And now it’s the turn of the Mayans. Hey, bring it
one. We’re even planning a party down here in Brighton – but more of that later.
The secret word is Countdown
Thursday, November 15, 2012
THE HORROR, THE HORROR, THE HARDBACK HORROR
So these are
the best selling books on the planet? I must confess I had to Google The
Alchemist, but the real horror was The Twilight Saga, I mean, The bloody Twilight Saga!!! Words
fail me. And where’s the Koran?
Click here
for Bo and the Duchess
The secret
word is Gutenberg
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Wednesday, November 14, 2012
DUMB AND DUMBER
This theory
took me totally by surprise. But it does have it’s point. Is your phone smarter
that you are? Roll on the Singularity and let Skynet sort it out. I’ll be dead
anyway.
"Humankind's intelligence peaked thousands of years ago and
advanced civilization has made life so easy for so many that our trend towards
stupidity will continue as the ingenuity and intellect once needed for basic
survival erode even further. This, anyway, is the argument of a new study out in the
journal Trends in Genetics, authored by Stanford
University professor Gerald Crabtree. Crabtree's study claims that harmful
genetic mutations—occurring generation after generation as society
advanced—have reduced our "higher thinking" abilities and the
accumulated result has led to a gradual dwindling of our intelligence as a
species. The Guardian explains that Crabtree's thinking is a
speculative idea—one he'd be happy to have prove wrong—but also a simple one:
In the past, when our ancestors (and those who failed to become our ancestors)
faced the harsh realities of a hunter-gatherer lifestyle, the punishment for
stupidity was more often than not death. And so, Crabtree argues, enormous
evolutionary pressure bore down on early humans, selecting out the dimwits, and
raising the intellect of the survivors' descendants. But not so today. “I would
wager that if an average citizen from Athens of 1000BC were to appear suddenly
among us, he or she would be among the brightest and most intellectually alive
of our colleagues and companions, with a good memory, a broad range of ideas
and a clear-sighted view of important issues,” Professor Crabtree says in the
paper." (Click here for more)
Click herefor them old Pistols
The secret
word is Stupid
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Sunday, November 11, 2012
SUNDAY BREAKFAST
It’s a rare
weekend when I can get up on a Sunday morning like I truly deserve a Bloody
Mary and a bacon sandwich because the preceding week was not for once enclosed
in a complete fog of blurred and distorted cosmic anti-matter and I don’t need
to slither illicitly out of bed like a reluctant reptile. Obama was re-elected
and, no matter how he let us down during the first term, at least the Gates of
Conservative Hell didn’t swing open. I know New York and New Jersey are still a
mess but can I be forgiven for being relieved that this time it isn’t happening
to me. I figure we’ll all get our share of doomsday weather in due course. But
can I think about that tomorrow and, for today, go on grinning at how the
Director of the CIA – Bush’s favourite general – has totally screwed himself
and dumped his career by fucking a good looking biographer, and maybe more? And
can I feel all good and smug because three US states have legalized marijuana,
while in Europe the concept that an economy can be saved by the draconian
exploitation of the poor seems to be losing its already spurious philosophical
support and the Bundesbank should be backing off if it knows what’s good for it?
This may all be undue optimism and no doubt paranoid calamity will crash in on
us tomorrow, but will you all allow me a day at the rose-tinted monitor?
Click here for Dolly Parton
The secret
word is Eternal
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
LEMMY WAS RIGHT
Elizabeth
Warren won her Senate seat in Massachusetts and that makes me extremely happy.
Obama just won a few minutes ago. I’m not cheering like last time, but we’re
saved from Mitt the Monster. Now I’m going to bed.
Click here
for Elvis
The secret
word is Relieved
LEMMY ENDORSES OBAMA
Amazing! This
is the last thing I expected.
“Lemmy has sent an election message to the US, decrying the
Republican presidential nominee as a "fucking monster". In an interview with Rolling Stone, the
Motörhead leader pleaded with Americans: "Please, please don't vote for
Mitt Romney. Fuck him. Repeal abortion law is the first thing he'll do."
Lemmy is not famed for his political involvement, frequently denying any
ideological motive behind his collection of Nazi memorabilia. However, he was
steadfast in his view on the presidential race. He suggested the US had not
been ready for an African-American president in the form of Barack Obama,
"because they're trying to drag him down now. I mean, the poor fucker's
only just gotten rid of all that George Bush shit that he left, or is trying
to. And he's being stonewalled by the fucking Congress all the time. I don't
know how he's gotten anything done. They should be glad. I mean the alternative
is Mitt Romney."
Click here
for more unexpected Lemmy
Then secret
word is Vote
Monday, November 05, 2012
“REMEMBER, REMEMBER…
…the fifth
of November, the gunpowder treason and plot
I see no
reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot. “
Ever since
I was a young lad, I always wondered if we were supposed to remember Guy Fawkes
because he failed to blow up King James (of Bible fame) and parliament, or
because he had the audacity to try.
Click here for Aretha and Keith
The secret
word is Bang!
Saturday, November 03, 2012
SUNDAY BREAKFAST
With the
hype for the new Bond movie all over my TV I figured I’d martini my way through
the weekend, then God got in the way. (See below)
Click here
for Gene
The secret
word is Interrupted
GOD SEZ…
Actually I lifted this from
Tony Norman of the Pittsburg Post-Gazette. (Don’t ask how.)
"I am the god of the 1 percent. You shall have no other gods before me. I help those who help themselves and visit poverty over many generations to those who would redistribute the wealth that I have freely given to those who luxuriate without guilt in my love. I reward the spirit of material excess because I hate poverty and the poor who have rejected my ways.
"I am a vulgar god who never tires of the misery
perpetuated by those who exploit the resources of the planet for tax breaks and
personal gain. The smoke of belching coal plants and runoff from hydraulic
fracturing pleases me. Let those who refuse to rape the earth that I have made
in six days be accursed.
"I am the god of 'In God We Trust.' You shall have no
other gods before me. Give to the poor (if you must) out of your excess and at
your discretion. Don't be compelled by guilt. The poor don't need a safety net
as long as I, the god of the Koch brothers and Ayn Rand, lives in the heart of
every patriotic American. It is money that I love, not mercy for its own sake.
Mercy without conditions offends me.
"I am the god of the morally upright. I abhor
homosexuals, Democrats, mimes and all who believe in global warming. Those who
have AIDS can give all glory to me. It is by my hand that every dread disease
except obesity and cancer is visited upon the earth. Do not be fooled: I loathe
the followers of Lady Gaga. Women who refuse to submit to male authority are an
abomination.
"Those who believe in me know evolution is a lie
straight from hell. The dinosaurs drowned during Noah's day because the ark
couldn't contain them. This is not a mystery if you believe science is evil
with all your heart.
"I am the god of war. I love violence and the mindless
proliferation of guns in every home. Horses and bayonets proclaim my glory over
the whole earth. That is why America is my blood-stained footstool. Guns don't
kill -- I do.
"I am the god of the Invisible Hand. I hate the 47
percent who siphon the productivity of my blessed Job Creators. On Election
Day, I will pour out my wrath on those who receive the mark of the Kenyan
Keynesian. Repent of your idolatrous liberalism, or else."
IN OTHER NEWS I LEAVE IT ALL TO YOUR IMAGINATION
“The Prime Minister thanked Mrs Brooks for letting him ride one of her horses, joking it was "fast, unpredictable and hard to control but fun.".
DOC’S PAPERBACK CLASSICS #105
Click here
for Marianne (and see my old pal and partner Brother Wayne Kramer playing his
Capt. America guitar.)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
A HELL OF A TOWN
The only word
is disturbing. To see long time familiar places on a flat screen TV in a
foreign land that are ruined, wrecked, and under water. These are places where,
once upon a time, I hung with comrades, went about my business, flirted with
New York girls, or stumbled drunk in the dawn. The power is out. Streets are
dark. The elevators no longer function. The subway is a storm drain. The
traffic lights are dead. Automobiles have been thrown about like toys. Ranks of
yellow cabs are partially submerged. The bars and saloons I knew so well are
silent. What has become of The White Horse, The St. Mark’s Bar & Grill, The
Grass Roots, The Park Inn, Dan Lynch’s, Tramps, McAnn’s The Chameleon. Have
they been washed away or were they all ready gutted by yuppies or moved to
Williamsburg. It’s been a while.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the
coin, Hurricane Sandy produces a distinct Godzilla foreboding. A tropical
hurricane, wrapped in an arctic cold front, and driven inland by a rogue
jetstream was the stuff of science fiction or disaster movie, or else a
worst-case horror theory of extreme climate change in action. How long has it
been since Tokyo was simultaneously attacked by super-earthquake, tsunami, and
hard radiation? When the fuck do we get the message?
Click here
for Bob
The secret
word Inundated
POSTED LATER – Seems I was fooled by the image. It’s mighty symbolic but also Photoshop. I’m leaving it, though, it doesn’t change how I feel.
POSTED LATER – Seems I was fooled by the image. It’s mighty symbolic but also Photoshop. I’m leaving it, though, it doesn’t change how I feel.
Monday, October 29, 2012
STONES ON THE ROCKS
Okay so
we’ve had the Swedes merchandising Motorhead vodka. And now the Japanese are
punting out Rolling Stones scotch. To celebrate the band’s 50th
anniversary Suntory Liquors will release a limited edition Rolling Stones 50th Anniversary
Whisky limited to 150 bottles. The press release doesn’t say how
much the damned stuff costs, but with tickets for the upcoming Stones’ shows in
London priced up to £400 you gotta figure the tab is more than a couple of yen.
I wonder if it’s rock & roll and I don’t think I like it.
“This
whisky is a blend of carefully selected malts distilled and casked in milestone
years throughout the band's 50 year history, including a malt from the year the
band formed that has been long-aged in mizunara
(Japanese oak) casks. Its weighty, complex aroma calls to mind both dried
and ripened fruits, and even cacao and espresso, and its rich heaviness and
slight bitterness expand in the mouth with a velvety smoothness. The aftertaste
is a pleasant and expansive woodiness akin to the fragrance of the finest aloes
wood, and a soft smokiness.”
Yeah,
right.
Click herefor Scrapper Blackwell and a more realistic perspective.
The secret
word is Exploit
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