
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Monday, July 06, 2009
IS IT A BIRD? IS IT A PLANE?

When I was a kid I used to see a comic strip – I’m damned if I can remember the title – that featured something called a Watchbird that came with the highly forbidding slogan “This is a Watchbird watching you!” Now it seems we have the real thing. We may not be able to care for our sick, educate our children, or find jobs for the workforce, but there’s always a couple of million for a new spy toy. The story comes from our pal Faux Smoke.
“AeroVironment is designing and building a prototype flapping-wing unmanned aircraft under the second phase of the U.S. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency’s Nano Air Vehicle (NAV) program. The $2.1 million Phase 2 contract was awarded after the company accomplished controlled hovering flight of an air vehicle using a pair of flapping wings for both propulsion and control. The milestone was achieved in December 2008 with the 20-second flight of the Mercury interim test vehicle, says the company. Under remote control, the battery-powered vehicle climbed and descended, flew sideways, and forward and backward.” (Click here for more and a video.)
The secret word is Tweet
THE MONKEY WILL HAVE WHAT YOU’RE HAVING

Sunday, July 05, 2009
WHEN SUPERMAN FAILS (And negativity don't pull you through)

“Obama has far different ambitions. His goal is to rewrite the American social compact, to recast the relationship between government and citizen. He wants government to narrow the nation's income and anxiety gaps. Soak the rich for reasons of revenue and justice. Nationalize health care and federalize education to grant all citizens of all classes the freedom from anxiety about health care and college that the rich enjoy. And fund this vast new social safety net through the cash cow of a disguised carbon tax. Obama is a leveler. He has come to narrow the divide between rich and poor. For him the ultimate social value is fairness. Imposing it upon the American social order is his mission…The reordering of the American system will come not from these temporary interventions, into which Obama has reluctantly waded. It will come from Obama's real agenda: his holy trinity of health care, education and energy. Out of these will come a radical extension of the welfare state; social and economic leveling in the name of fairness; and a massive increase in the size, scope and reach of government. If Obama has his way, the change that is coming is a new America: "fair," leveled and social democratic.”
And talking of The Washington Post, click here to read this piece of scandal sent over by Munz. Seems like the paper that brought down Nixon is now just one more whore on the beltway selling access to the power.
“Washington Post publisher Katharine Weymouth said today she was canceling plans for an exclusive "salon" at her home where for as much as $250,000, the Post offered lobbyists and association executives off-the-record access to "those powerful few" – Obama administration officials, members of Congress, and even the paper’s own reporters and editors.”
Maybe the print media really does deserve to go broke.
And at the head of this Sunday night moan, I paraphrased Bob Dylan, (with an image from Valerie) and thus it only seems fair to post a link to a cool version of the mutilated song. Click here.
The secret words are What and If
Saturday, July 04, 2009
AND THE ROCKETS’ RED GLARE/THE BOMBS BURSTING IN AIR...

The secret word is Independence
Friday, July 03, 2009
WHAT IS THE ABSURD WOMAN UP TO NOW?

The timing of this move is deeply odd all on it’s own. Dropping this bizarre bomb on the Friday before a national holiday, when the majority of the media are heading for the beach, the golf course, or firing up the charcoal is strange in the extreme. MSNBC had basically shut down, a skeleton CNN was focused on Michael Jackson, and who the hell knew what was going on at Fox? The Friday bombshell is usually a political tactic that’s employed when some major, career-threatening scandal is about to break, and it’s used in the vain hope of softening the shit/fan impact before Monday comes around.
Could a Palin super-scandal be up the line? It’s infinitely possible. As Todd S. Purdum wrote in Vanity Fair – “Palin is unlike any other national figure in modern American life – neither Anna Nicole Smith nor Margaret Chase Smith but a phenomenon all her own. The clouds of tabloid conflict and controversy that swirl around her and her extended clan—the surprise pregnancies, the two-bit blood feuds, the tawdry in-laws and common-law kin caught selling drugs or poaching game—give her family a singular status in the rogues’ gallery of political relatives. By comparison, Billy Carter, Donald Nixon, and Roger Clinton seem like avatars of circumspection. Palin’s life has sometimes played out like an unholy amalgam of Desperate Housewives and Northern Exposure.”
In the meantime, the nation can only wait and barbeque while the madness of the Republican Party becomes close to hallucinatory.
(If you want to read the Vanity Fair piece, click here. For video of the bizarre Palin doubletalk, click here.)
The secret word is Curiouser
Thursday, July 02, 2009
THIS IS AL FRANKEN

This is Al Franken. I never liked Al Franken. An asshole. A tiresome wizeass blowhard. On the original SNL he was never as funny as he though he was which is why they never let him work with Belushi. And later he almost wrecked Air America by never being as smart as he thought he was – and dull to boot. I think it’s safe to say I loath Al Franken, but now he’s a fucking senator and – supposedly a liberal – and I’m expected to be pleased because he completes the magic filibuster-proof majority of sixty, and Barack will be able to push through a proper national heath service. Yeah. Right. If we live that long.
The secret word is Goodnight
Karl Malden -- RIP
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
…BY THOSE LYIN’ SCIENTISTS

“To fully appreciate the irresponsibility and immorality of climate-change denial, you need to know about the grim turn taken by the latest climate research. The fact is that the planet is changing faster than even pessimists expected: ice caps are shrinking, arid zones spreading, at a terrifying rate. And according to a number of recent studies, catastrophe — a rise in temperature so large as to be almost unthinkable — can no longer be considered a mere possibility. It is, instead, the most likely outcome if we continue along our present course.
Thus researchers at M.I.T., who were previously predicting a temperature rise of a little more than 4 degrees by the end of this century, are now predicting a rise of more than 9 degrees. Why? Global greenhouse gas emissions are rising faster than expected; some mitigating factors, like absorption of carbon dioxide by the oceans, are turning out to be weaker than hoped; and there’s growing evidence that climate change is self-reinforcing — that, for example, rising temperatures will cause some arctic tundra to defrost, releasing even more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
Temperature increases on the scale predicted by the M.I.T. researchers and others would create huge disruptions in our lives and our economy. As a recent authoritative U.S. government report points out, by the end of this century New Hampshire may well have the climate of North Carolina today, Illinois may have the climate of East Texas, and across the country extreme, deadly heat waves — the kind that traditionally occur only once in a generation — may become annual or biannual events.
In other words, we’re facing a clear and present danger to our way of life, perhaps even to civilization itself. How can anyone justify failing to act?” Click here for the whole column.
Failing to act, however, seems to be the keynote of times. Times that we expected to be a frenzy of New-Deal salvation. And failing to act may well continue to be the modus operandi until those of us who still demand change make such a loud and bloody nuisance of ourselves we finally have to be acknowledged.
The secret word is Noisy
ALL OUR YESTERDAYS
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
TAKE THE EMOTIONAL HIGH GROUND

“The ability of the corporate state to pacify the country by extending credit and providing cheap manufactured goods to the masses is gone. The pernicious idea that democracy lies in the choice between competing brands and the freedom to accumulate vast sums of personal wealth at the expense of others has collapsed. The conflation of freedom with the free market has been exposed as a sham. The travails of the poor are rapidly becoming the travails of the middle class, especially as unemployment insurance runs out and people get a taste of Bill Clinton's draconian welfare reform. And class warfare, once buried under the happy illusion that we were all going to enter an age of prosperity with unfettered capitalism, is returning with a vengeance.
Our economic crisis-despite the corporate media circus around the death of Michael Jackson or Gov. Mark Sanford's marital infidelity or the outfits of Sacha Baron Cohen's latest incarnation, Brüno-barrels forward. And this crisis will lead to a period of profound political turmoil and change. Those who care about the plight of the working class and the poor must begin to mobilize quickly or we will lose our last opportunity to save our embattled democracy. The most important struggle will be to wrest the organs of communication from corporations that use mass media to demonize movements of social change and empower proto-fascist movements such as the Christian right.” Click here to read the rest.
The secret word is Deception
HOLD ON TO THE ROMANCE OF THE LEFT
Monday, June 29, 2009
CALL THIS A CROP CIRCLE?

I gotta tell you, neighbours, I like a good crop circle circle as well as the next humanoid. (So much so I'll risk repeating myself. Scroll back to last Friday.) And I would never act the skeptic. Quite the reverse. Given the right combination of drugs and alcohol, I’ll believe pretty much anything. Not only that, but I know the phenomenon folklore and will talk molecular-level stalk-bending well into the dawn. This is why I have serious problems with what might be wrong with the above picture, that appeared in London in the conservative Daily Telegraph (supplied by our own Elf Hellion), and came with a report so uninformative that it verged on vapid…
"The 400-foot design was discovered in a barley field in Yatesbury near Devizes and depicts the mythical phoenix reborn as it rises from the ashes. Investigators claim more formations are referencing the possibility of a cataclysmic event occurring on December 21, 2012, which coincides with the end of the ancient Mayan calendar. The Mayans believed civilisation exists within a series of earth cycles of 144,000 days each with the 13th expiring in December 2012, resulting in Armageddon. Crop circle enthusiast Karen Alexander, from Gosport, Hants, said: "The phoenix is a mythical creature which symbolises rebirth and a new era in many cultures across the world.
"Within the crop circle community many believe the designs are constantly referring to December 21 and its aftermath. "This could be interpreted as the human race or earth rising again after a monumental event.
"The patterns are becoming more intricate with every find and it is exciting to think how they are going to evolve by the time we get to 2012."
Recent crop circles have included giant jelly-fish and one image discovered in Wiltshire in June which experts dubbed the most 'mind boggling' they had ever come across.
The formation, measuring 150ft in diameter, is apparently a coded image representing the first 10 digits, 3.141592654, of pi." (Click here to read more if you want to.)
My response was a disbelieving what the fuck? And where’s the pic of the circle defining pi? And what does a phoenix really have to do with 2012, and what is this thing anyway? It’s stylization is such a narrow, 20th century, neo-heraldic conformity that it seems hardly possible it is of either extraterrestrial or paranormal origin – even the wings of the Nazca bird image are more akin to alien art. And wouldn't it have taken days, if not very obvious weeks, for human hoaxers to create such an elaboration. Okay, so it looks like a phoenix. But it could also be the eagle of the US Federal government – begging all manner of weird-ass interpretation – or even a Nazi war eagle unfurling it’s wings, heralding the reincarnation of Hitler. It might also have been nice to have a reporter fly over the thing to give us all an idea of scale, and that it isn’t just Photoshop fakery. But no. (As John Belushi used to remark.) No wonder the mainstream media are going broke. They want to play in our strange, vacant-lot, junk-yard of a secret garden but they have neither clue nor education. (Nor the wallabies, for that matter.)
The secret word is Gullible
CAT FROM MEATLOAF
Sunday, June 28, 2009
REMEMBER STONEWALL

Today marks the fortieth anniversary of the spontaneous uprising by street punk gays during a raid by the NYPD Public Morals Squad on the Stonewall Inn, a Mafia-owned gay bar on Christopher Street in Greenwich Village. From the Stonewall Inn, enough-is-enough gay fury spread to the surrounding streets, sparking days of rioting during which gay men, lesbians, and drag queens fought the New York cops to a standstill, and brought the world to an understanding that homophobia would would never again go unchallenged. And if you’re not up to speed, click here to learn some history.
“When did you ever see a fag fight back?... Now, times were a-changin'. Tuesday night was the last night for bullshit.... Predominantly, the theme (w)as, "this shit has got to stop!" – anonymous Stonewall riots participant
“You know, the guys there were so beautiful—they've lost that wounded look that fags all had 10 years ago.” – Allen Ginsberg
"We are the Stonewall girls/ We wear our hair in curls/ We don't wear underwear/ We show our pubic hairs” – A chant from the nights of rage
"Do You Think Homosexuals Are Revolting? You Bet Your Sweet Ass We Are!" – Heading on a flier distributed by the newly formed Gay Liberation Front
The secret word is Dolores
Friday, June 26, 2009
JUNKIE WALLABIES MAKE CROP CIRCLES

So – while thanking the deities it’s Friday – we wait to see what exactly the coroner decides laid Michael Jackson low, try to imagine what the hell the funeral is going to look like, and note in periphery how po’ Michael’s passing temporarily wiped South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and his gaucho senorita-on-the-side off the news cycle. With all that going on, ol’ Doc – working on the principle that nothing succeeds like drugs and furry animals – can only spin the tale of the junkie wallabies sent by both Valerie and Facebook Aaron…
“Wallabies in Tasmania — the island off the south coast of Australia — have been accused of hopping into the state’s hundreds of commercial poppy fields, getting “high as a kite”, and then stumbling around forming “crop circles” in the paddocks.
In an amusing exchange during a parliamentary Budget estimates committee in Hobart on Wednesday, the Tasmanian Attorney-General, Lara Giddings, was addressing security issues at the state’s poppy plantations when she made the drug accusations against the island’s wallabies.
“The one interesting bit I found recently in one of my briefs on the poppy industry was that we have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting high as a kite and going around in circles.”
Click here and here for more.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
GET WELL, BOSS GOODMAN
HOPPY, THE CAT FROM HELL

The delightful Valerie sent us this tale of mindless feline violence, but we have not allowed Finn to read it…
“You don't want to mess with Hoppy.
A pet that has twice raced out from its south Minneapolis yard to attack passing dogs and their owners was returned home Tuesday after Animal Care and Control impounded it for the second time in two years.
Hoppy is a cat.
Reports of cats attacking dogs in Minneapolis are rare, and last week Hoppy became one of just two cats currently labeled "potentially dangerous," said Dan Niziolek, manager of Minneapolis Animal Care and Control. By contrast, the city has a list of about 140 dogs that have been declared a threat.
The felonious feline ran afoul of the law in fall 2007, when a man walking his dog said he was charged by a large black cat in the 3900 block of Drew Avenue South. The man, Thomas Buchberger, reported that he fell to the ground and was bitten and scratched several times before Hoppy let up. Buchberger's dog, Walden, ran to the safety of the middle of the street.
The city impounded Hoppy, an adult male, and ordered him destroyed, but his owner, 82-year-old Leo Noltimier, got the ruling overturned, according to city records.
Then, last month, Hoppy did it again, according to the city. A second victim, Russ King, told the city he was walking his dog, a Maltese named Charlie, past the same house on the evening of May 20 when a cat matching Hoppy's description pounced. When King scooped up Charlie to get the dog out of harm's way, the cat scratched King instead.
When Animal Control came looking for Hoppy after that attack, Noltimier refused to hand over his pet, prompting city workers to get a search warrant for the cat.
Calls to Noltimier's house were not answered Tuesday evening.”
Hoppy was taken into custody earlier this month and held for several days, Niziolek said. He was released Tuesday on several conditions. Hoppy has been microchipped and given a rabies shot. Noltimier must register the cat with the city each year. When outside, the cat must wear a harness with a leash held by an adult, and he must be kenneled or shut in a room when visitors are in the house. If Hoppy acts up again -- and "hopefully it won't," Niziolek said -- the city could order him destroyed.
Last year, the city had 268 cases of animals that were declared a threat or ordered destroyed, Niziolek said. Just one was a cat.
The only other "potentially dangerous" cat, Ralph, lives on the 4000 block of Beard Avenue S., Niziolek said. Ralph also attacked a dog."
The secret word is Hissssss
THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part 97)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009
HOW I SOLD OUT THE REVOLUTION

If, as he says “economic crucifixion does seem the current method-of-choice” it has a lengthy and decidedly sorry history. Between approximately 1966 and 1975, give or take, the counterculture did it’s damnedest to run it’s own mom and pop store, walking a hard-to-follow line between cooption, prosecution, and hip capitalism. We printed our own propaganda, we dyed our own ties, we smuggled our own dope, and where the squares gathered, we sold retail. Jobs for hippies were generated so they didn’t need to join the Manson Family.
By the mid-seventies, however, a serious combination of weariness and greed had set in. I was as much to blame as anyone. On the music side of things, The Deviants had packaged and distributed the first album PTOOFF! ourselves, but later we’d look for a deal with a major label because it made life easier. IT, Nasty Tales and the other print publications with which I’d was involved had been independently organized from paste-up to newsstand. After years, however, of police raids, poverty, and preparing for one bullshit trial after another, the idea of writing for a corporate music tabloid like the NME seemed damned attractive. Of course, NME was owned by the IPC mediaglomerate, but I rationalized that there weren’t too many content clashes with management, and punk was on the horizon, and I getting to promote the shit out of the Ramones, the Pistols, and The Clash, and also make records of my own. How bad could it be? But something very crucial was in the process of being lost. What remained of the counterculture was hard wired to global total media – Every Boredom Entertained – and only survived if handled accordingly. South Park. The revolution will be animated.
Thus when Matt and others commented on the need for a broad, ground-up revision of our ideas, it felt like a return to ideas long lost. A whole lot of mom & pop micro-economies functioning on a local level. “We can choose to be active Americans in our local communities who build our direct economies rather than join the entrenched top-down Republican-Democrat-Corporate collusion (no matter who their symbolic savior/figurehead is at any given moment).” This may actually be the path out of totalitarian capitalism.
The secret word is Comintern
THE FROZDICK FAMILY
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
THE CASE OF THE $134 BILLION

The following disturbing tale was sent over by MrMR…
“It’s a plot better suited for a John Le Carre novel. Two Japanese men are detained in Italy after allegedly attempting to take $134 billion worth of U.S. bonds over the border into Switzerland. Details are maddeningly sketchy, so naturally the global rumor mill is kicking into high gear. Are these would-be smugglers agents of Kim Jong Il stashing North Korea’s cash in a Swiss vault? Was the money meant for terrorists looking to buy nuclear warheads? Is Japan dumping its dollars secretly? Are the bonds real or counterfeit? The implications of the securities being legitimate would be bigger than investors may realize. At a minimum, it would suggest that the U.S. risks losing control over its monetary supply on a massive scale.
Think about it: These two guys were carrying the gross domestic product of New Zealand or enough for three Beijing Olympics. If economies were for sale, the men could buy Slovakia and Croatia and have plenty left over for Mongolia or Cambodia. These men carrying bonds concealed in the bottom of their luggage also would be the fourth-largest U.S. creditors.” (Click here for more.)
The secret word is Slush
Monday, June 22, 2009
FLIP TO REALITY

On November 6th, 2008, two days after the American people directed Barack to the White House, the tabloid LA CityBeat published my cover-story love-letter to the new President Elect, in which I likened him jokingly to Superman, but unequivocally demanded that he counter the corrupt collapse of free-market capitalism with massive, FDR-style public works and job creation. It was maybe an arrogant demand for a writer of gothic novels and one-time rock & roller, but I did have Nobel Laureate economist Paul Krugman at my back.
As I write this now, moving into the end of the first six months of the Obama administration, I see very little of either what I hoped for, or was tacitly promised during the campaign. LA CityBeat is history. Some 6000 writers are out of work and most without prospects.
My TV is a clogged artery of bickering politicians, with Obama under fire from both a dangerously insane GOP and turncoat, bought-and-paid-for Dems. We are being shown no awe-inspiring public works, no valiant and visible job creation, or any clear and present hope being offered to the unemployed and evicted. Layoffs continue, unions are sacrificed for the survival of corporations, and zombie banks dare to declare profits while putting the screws to their customers. Peace is nowhere near the horizon. Healthcare likewise. Obama is amused by the idea of legal, revenue-bearing marijuana, and any minor moves in the direction of a new socialism are tentative and apologetic.
Last Friday Bill Maher brought progressive dissatisfaction with the current state of Barack-Knows-Best into the open with a comedy bit that instructed those who accuse Obama of being a Marxist to realize that he’s “not even a liberal”, and explained how the Democrats were the new Republicans. “Shouldn’t there be one party that unambiguously supports cutting the military budget, a party that is straight up in favor of gun control, gay marriage, higher taxes on the rich, universal health care, legalizing pot, and steep direct taxing of polluters?”
I’m still not saying that Barack Obama isn’t astute and talented, but he may not be The One for whom we all worked so hard. Maybe we believed too hard just to get rid of McCain-Palin. Barack may still turn out to be a creditable head of state, but he is looking less and less like the Superman who could ease us through what may ultimately be the collapse of capitalism. I fear many of us will have to face reality and start making our own demands. As loudly as is needed.
PROTEST OR ROLLERBALL?

Sunday, June 21, 2009
THE UNDERGROUND PRESS REFUSES TO DIE

For the first time since 1970, I find myself with a bee in my bonnet – in this case that we may be buying too totally into “Barack Knows Best” – and nowhere to exercise it as a cover story on cheap newsprint. And this is really a loss to the world and blow to my ego. On the other hand, our pal DH has just clued us in on the IT Database. IT (originally called International Times until there was a lawsuit) was maybe the fifth or sixth 1960s-style u/g tabloid on the planet, and this data base – coordinated by the tireless Mike Lesser, and abetted by Miles, Hoppy, others – is truly amazing offering facsimiles of every page of every issue, at a time when a complete set of the real thing sells for $3000-$5000. (Click here for the full wonder.)
The secret word is Letraset
RICHARD BRANSON BUILDS HIS SPACEPORT

Almost two years after the first plans were announced construction has finally begun in New Mexico on Spaceport America. The spaceport, which will serve as the launch pad for Virgin Galactic flights, is the first of its kind anywhere in the world, and represents the first serious commitment of infrastructure to manned commercial spaceflight. Right now Richard Branson only has two spaceships, barely capable of achieving sustained orbit, but, after the track record of Virgin Records, Virgin Airlines, Virgin Rail, Virgin Megastores, and even Virgin Cola, growth would seem inevitable. And, in a strange connection with the story above, Branson began his galactic empire building with an underground mag called The Student. (Click here for more.)
Saturday, June 20, 2009
THE NIGHT BEFORE THE DAY OF RAGE

The secret breath is Bated
MEANWHILE, UP IN THE ANDES

While the world watches Iran, another conflict comes to a head in Peru where Indians have been protesting for two months against a series of laws which open up their communal rainforests to oil and gas companies. In the last few years more than 70% of the Amazon has been parcelled out to oil and gas companies for exploration, and a series of large-scale finds threaten to transform much of the Indians’ virgin forests. Similar schemes in neighbouring Ecuador have had a devastating effect on the rainforest, and led to chronic pollution and ill-health amongst the Indians who live there. Violent clashes on Friday between Amazon Indians blockading roads and rivers, and police and army units intent on breaking up the protests have left dozens of Indians, and at least 23 policemen, dead. Click here for the whole sorry tale.
Friday, June 19, 2009
THE ROAD TRIP COMES HOME

HELP! GOV ARNOLD WANTS TO KILL US!

The following furious letter comes from our angry pal Elf Hellion…
URGENT – Help stop the murder for money scheme of California Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger who wants to balance the CA budget by killing shelter dogs and cats after only 3 days. The new 3 day kill rule isn't enough time for owners to find lost pets or animals to find new homes. You don't have to live in CA to help. Please... take a second and click here to send an email to the asshole governor, and your local reps (if you're in CA), it’s just a simple form and took me less than a minute. It doesn't matter if you live in CA, or even the US...! I don't understand... I'm a native of this state. We're last in education. We overthrew gay marriage. If we'd legalize weed (which I don't even smoke!) we'd have no budget deficit. Who are these morons running my state? It's enough to make me fucking move, out of the state, out of the country, just to be spiteful! He's already closing our state parks, and cancelled summer school. One out four latino girls drops out of high school to have a kid in CA. WTF??????????
The secret word is Emergency


























