Thursday, November 30, 2006

"This is your brain on zen."

"NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 30, 2006, as National Methamphetamine Awareness Day. I call upon the people of the United States to observe this day with appropriate programs and activities.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-seventh day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand six, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-first.

(I swear this is absolutely genuine, plus the dumb bastard only gave us two days notice and I don't even have the decorations up!)

The secret word is Tweak


Jon said...

I ran straight to the store in hopes of finding festive lights in the shape of little pipes and butane torches. I was hoping they'd have something with razor blades and rolled up bills for us old fashioned types, maybe even a battery powered walking talking syringe for the kids. Is this going to be an annual event? We'll have to come up with some traditions. I don't suppose there's any need for a traditional meal but how about a festive family night, all night, spent rearranging everything in the house so that it is all either parralel or at right angles to everything else in the house? How about father son holiday bonding by spending the night outside cleaning dad's motorcycle, inch by inch, with a tooth brush? Or maybe the whole family could run out the door in the middle of the night and let fly a couple of hundred rounds at the traditional holiday hallucinations? The possibilities are limitless. You continue to be my best source for mind blowing, as opposed to heart breaking or brain numbing, news.

Spig the Moddy Geezer said...

I did have time to dig out my copy of Night Of Fear by The Move, though.