Wednesday, August 24, 2005

COMPARATIVE RELIGION
So the founder of the Christian Coalition and constant political player Pat Robertson called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, declaring, "it's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop." Since I don’t watch The 700 Hundred Club (few do) except when very drunk, I don’t know Robertson’s precise beef with Chavez, but I would surmise that it has something to do with Venezuela having a mess of oil, Chavez being a socialist, having his picture taken with Fidel, and giving the finger to the US oil barons. Any of the above would be enough to set off the loathsome Robertson. I don’t doubt Old Pat will get away with this statement unscathed, but I have to reflect that, if I was to call for the assassination of any political leaders I didn’t like, even on this humble weblog, I’d have the FBI ripping through my harddrive and god only knows what else.

AND TALKING OF LOATHSOME
In one of her recent, narrowly syndicated columns, Ann Coulter includes the most extraordinary aside. In a tired retread of basic Bush, she weakly rants...the savages have declared war, and it's far preferable to fight them in the streets of Baghdad than in the streets of New York...but then goes on to add... (where the residents would immediately surrender). Say what? Have you forgotten, my dear, that New York is the only place in this wretched country to actually go through the fire? I’d advise staying off 2nd Avenue for the next few weeks. Paulie and Sal want to talk to you, and they don’t look happy.

MO’ RELIGION
I know that this is very far from new, but since it’s making he rounds, I though I’d post it.
Taoism: shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius says, shit happens.
Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen: what is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: this shit happened before.
Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism: let shit happen to someone else.
Native American: what is the medicine of shit?
Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it.
Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us?
Pantheism: it's all the same shit.
Atheism: I don't believe this shit.
Agnosticism: what is this shit?

The secret word is Fatwah

CRYPTIQUEThere are no injections against the devil.

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