ONE MIND BOGGLING 2

“So when’s the cavalry going to come to the rescue?”
“You are the cavalry.”
“Oh fuck.”

AN ANSWER TO YESTERDAY’S QUESTION

Elizabeth, after informing us that we could have looked it up on google, sends the following on those Nigerian bank scams...

A Five Billion US$ (as of 1996, much more now) worldwide Scam which has run since the early 1980's under Successive Governments of Nigeria. It is also referred to as "Advance Fee Fraud", "419 Fraud" (Four-One-Nine) after the relevant section of the Criminal Code of Nigeria, and "The
Nigerian Connection" (mostly in Europe). However, it is usually called plain old "419" even by the Nigerians themselves. The Scam operates as follows: the target receives an unsolicited fax, email, or letter often concerning Nigeria or another African nation containing either a money laundering or other illegal proposal OR you may receive a Legal and Legitimate business proposal by normal means. Common variations on the Scam include "overinvoiced" or "double invoiced" oil or other supply and service contracts where your Bad Guys want to get the overage out of Nigeria; crude oil and other commodity deals; a "bequest" left you in a will; "money cleaning" where your Bad Guy has a lot of currency that needs to be "chemically cleaned" before it can be used and he needs the cost of the chemicals; "spoof banks" where there is supposedly money in your name already on deposit; "paying" for a purchase with a check larger than the amount required and asking for change to be advanced; fake lottery 419; and ordering items and commodities off "trading" sites on the web and then cheating the seller. The variations of Advance Fee Fraud (419) are very creative and virtually endless. At some point, the victim is asked to pay up front an Advance Fee of some sort, be it an "Advance Fee", "Transfer Tax", "Performance Bond", or to extend credit, grant COD privileges, send back "change" on an overage cashier's check or money order, whatever. If the victim pays the Fee, there are often many "Complications" which require still more advance payments until the victim either quits, runs out of money, or both. If the victim extends credit on a given transaction etc. he may also pay such fees ("nerfund" etc.), and also stiffed for the Goods or Service with NO Effective Recourse. The Nigerian Scam is, according to published reports, the Third to Fifth largest industry in Nigeria. It is the 419 Coalition view that, in effect, the elites from which successive Governments of Nigeria have been drawn ARE the Scammers - therefore, victims have little recourse in this matter.

And HC Beck sends a link for those who want to know more

http://www.quatloos.com/cm-niger/nigerian_scam_letter_museum.htm

COMMENTS

I’m beginning to wonder if the comments board is going to go into overload and implode, thus proving Some Girl, and all the others who said we should do it the conventional way with a comment button after each post, absolutely right as usual. It’s starting to feel like one of those submarine movies in which the crippled sub sinks deeper and deeper while the crew sweats and the officers watch the depth gauge go into the red, and everyone wonders when it’s going to be flattened like a tin can. Like the submarine crew, we can only wait to see what happens.

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY BUSHWHACKERS (LEB)

From today’s NY Times...

Now let's turn to the administration's other big embarrassment, the budget deficit.
The fiscal 2005 budget report admits that this year's expected $521 billion deficit belies the rosy forecasts of 2001. But the report offers an explanation: stuff happens. "Today's budget deficits are the unavoidable result of the revenue erosion from the stock market collapse that began in early 2000, an economy recovering from recession and a nation confronting serious security threats." Sure, the administration was wrong — but so was everyone.
The trouble is that accepting that excuse requires forgetting a lot of recent history. By February 2002, when the administration released its fiscal 2003 budget, all of the bad news — the bursting of the bubble, the recession, and, yes, 9/11 — had already happened. Yet that budget projected only a $14 billion deficit this year, and a return to surpluses next year. Why did that forecast turn out so wrong? Because administration officials fudged the facts, as usual.

FROM THE EMAIL

A strange one from Blanche...

Rosie Reid, a first year student at the University of Bristol, placed an advert on eBay offering her virginity to the highest bidder and received offers of up to £10,000 before eBay Inc. removed the auction from its website. Reid said that she came up with the idea after hearing that lots of students sell things on eBay to help keep debts under control: “I needed to raise cash and I was thinking about what I could sell. It seemed that my virginity was something really valuable, yet at the same time something I could do without. The way things are going, I’ll leave university £15,000 pounds in debt. That’s why I’m taking drastic action. With £10,000 in the bank I could work less. I could live comfortably till the end of my course and concentrate on my studies. Unless I do this I’m going to be in financial trouble.” She also reasoned that “people have sex all the time and they do it free of charge. And I don’t know many people who actually stay with the person they ever sleep with.” Her advert, which was placed earlier this month read: “Eighteen-year-old university student looking to sell virginity. Never lost it due to lesbianism. Will bung in free massage if you are any good. Picture on request.”

And HCB, who we suspect has never met a rack he didn’t like, is still fascinated with Janet Jackson making a clean breast it. I wrote “I will not go any further with JJ’s right tit.” Henry responds...

Supposing of course that she would let you. Why, I wonder, is the word pastie no longer in the world lexicon? I've only seen one photo of the malevolent mammary, but is she not wearing a star-shaped pastie? Correct me here, but isn't the lovely tittie made more respectable by the application of a nipple hubcap? I hate to keep quoting Lenny Bruce but when he was responding to the idea that tits are dirty, he said, "Not to me, Jim. I like to hug 'em and kiss 'em."

And on Buddy Holly...

ok--the first r&roll death by tragic accident, if you don't count James Dean - I'll buy that. Followed in short order by Eddie Cochrane and Patsy Cline. But the first real crash and burn R&R self-inflicted demise was to my mind, arguably, Hank. After Hank, most of them did it that-a-way.

TRUE LAWYER JOKES 2

More true courtroom absurdities from Disorder in the American Courts, courtesy of Jessica. (See yesterday’s post)

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

CRYPTIQUE – Viddy well, my droogs.