Friday, February 06, 2004

COMRADES, I HAVE A QUESTION

You’re all probably very familiar with this kind of email...

I am Mrs Mariam Sani Abacha (Widow), the wife of Late General Sani Abacha Former Military Head of State of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, who died while in office in 1998. After my husband's death and, upon the enthronement of, the present democratic elected government of OLUSEGUN OBASANJO in 1999 thus, started the probe of my husband's tenure as Military head of state over the years, during the tenure of my husband, he acquired and accumulated a lot of money while in office, stashed this funds in various banks in America, Canada, Europe and Africa but unfortunately, my husband died. However, the present Government succeeded in discovering and frozening* most of these accounts and have so far recalled some of these money back to the country, with exception of the above stated(USD$45.5 MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) deposited with a Bank in Switzerland, blah, blah, blah, etc.

(* gotta love the word frozening)

...but now the bloody things have started showing up daily, I’ve commenced to wonder what the con really is. I’m aware that it probably involves giving out your bank details to some gutterjumping cutpurse, but I would really like to know some of the details. Like, is it a straight cyberscam where a computer siphons off all your worldly, or is it one of those greed-driven progressive psychological elaborations like the old found briefcase game? I’m fascinated by the mechanics of fraud, and if someone out there can fill me in on the nuts and bolts, it would save my overtaxed brain trying to figure it out. I promise that all answers will be posted with credit and gratitude, and also be treated as a public service rendered – and if Doc40 ever finds itself in a position to be giving out free t-shirts, you’ll be the first to get one.

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY BUSHWHACKERS (LEB)

The anti-Bush propaganda is coming in by the ton. The sheer volume is a great comfort, demonstrating as it does there are so many of you out there who loathe the bastard as much as I do, but it’s starting to prove a tad daunting. Thus Doc40 has decided to coral it in a special section using the above title, I hope, with sufficient style to, as I said yesterday, “put boots and a duster coat back into politics.” Again I wish that Doc40 had the resources to hand out t-shirts and secret decoder rings. Maybe one day. I also just realized that LEB could also stand for Let’s Evict Bush.

So let’s start the ball rolling with a one-two from the dangerous kaymo...

MUCK, BOOTS & BULLETS

Interesting to see that lots of prom Dems did military service, but not a single one of this bunch of GOP fuckwits with their raving mad itch to blow up the world ever put on army boots.


http://www.awolbush.com/whoserved.html

UNCLE BUCKY

W.H.T. Bush, Dubya's Uncle, joined the board of directors of Engineered Support Systems of St. Louis, Missouri, in March 2000. W.H.T. Bush-- "Bucky" Bush, was one
of the Bush Pioneers who raised more than $100,000 for Dubya's Pres bid. ESS is a highly profitable contractor for the Defense Dept, garnering between $300 and $500 million in contracts most years. Most comes from the Army. In March 2003 ESS announced an order for 52 Chemical Biological Protected Shelter systems worth $19 Million, to bring the Army inventory up to 204 of these units. CBPS units are self-contained contamination free work areas to serve as mobile medical aid stations, field command posts etc. May 1 2003 ESS acquired TAMSCO (Technical and Management Services) a Maryland based outfit that specialises in radar systems, computer
networks and things like TDMAs (Time Division Multiple Access satellite terminals). Needless to say plenty of all these things have been bought this past year by the Pentagon for the Iraqi ops. Bucky Bush sits on the ESS audit committee and owns a considerable number of shares in the company. Bucky is also a trustee for the investment firm Lord Abbott, one of the top ten shareholders in Halliburton Corp.


HOMELAND SECURITY

Now I’ve started this, I have become quite fascinated with the Doc40 site tracking system. Today I noted the Doc got two hits from the United Arab Emirates. Welcome pal, whoever you are. Join the crew. But I guess that will get me on yet another fucking list.

FROM THE OTHER EMAIL

TRUE LAWYER JOKES

Jessica has sent a bunch of courtroom absurdities from a book called Disorder in the American Courts. Here’s the first guaranteed, absolutely true-life recorded exchange. More to follow.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.


AND HOW ABOUT SEX?

I have begun to worry that Doc40 is getting damned earnest and highly unsexy. I mean, two headed babies, exploding whales, and a ludicrous president are all very well, but are they enough? I will not go any further with JJ’s right tit, because this is now a media assault on our intelligence, and I suspect a weapon of neo-totalitarian dumbdown, but I have been wondering if I should post a couple of the more lurid sections of the still unsold ROCKNOVEL, and also be looking more closely at what calls itself the sexblog community. Without sex, the risk seems high of the Doc simply turning into an Ann Coulter of the left. What does everyone think? (Maybe that I should get a life?)

CRYPTIQUEHello, Danny.

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