But the entire theme and subworld is the most fully explored (the unkind might say too fully) in the novel "Jim Morrison’s Adventures In The Afterlife." Here’s an excerpt...
http://ebooks.palm.com/product/book/excerpt/983?book=Jim_Morrisons_Adventures_in_the_Afterlife:_A_Novel

The secret word is Bellhop.

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."

MAD DOG COULTER
The above is the third time I’ve used the same caption, and I started wondering if maybe I was overworking it. I was still highly amused by my own visual riffing, but maybe I was also smoking too much dope. Then I heard how, during one of her overpaid speaking gigs, Ann Coulter had told a Philander Smith College audience that more conservative justices were needed on the Supreme Court to change the current law on abortion. "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee." (Stevens being one of the court's most liberal members.) I’m sure if I’d made such a remark, I’d probably have the FBI, all over my ass – just like when, back in the day, they busted Groucho Marx after describing Nixon as "the only dope worth shooting" – but our Annie seems exempt. Later in the lecture she stated that the crack cocaine problem ‘has pretty much gone away." To which I can only respond, "The problem’s gone away, darling? What happened? Did you cop some crank?"

The secret word is Skeletal

ACTIVIST ALERT
(Special Post From Tim B)
I am sorry to make this short, but I am working flat out to try to help Senators Kerry and Kennedy and Durbin (and many more than the press is reporting) defeat the nomination of Samuel Alito to be a Supreme Court justice. You can help too. This is one of those rare moments in Washington when we really don't know what will happen. Everything depends upon whether people like us stand up and say enough is enough. The Alito nomination will shape the law of this country for the next 30 years. He will be a vote in favor of Bush's efforts to use torture, detain American citizens indefinitely and allow domestic spying. He will be a vote against Roe v. Wade. And he will be a vote against the environment, against working people and against every civil rights law that matters.
The number for the Senate switchboard is 202-224-3121. Regardless of where you live, call your Senators TODAY if possible (the offices will be closed over the weekend) or Monday and tell them you expect them to vote AGAINST the cloture vote on Monday. Tell them that in order to get your vote in the future, you expect them to actively join Kerry's filibuster and work to defeat this nomination in every way possible. If you live in DC and have any ties to Rhode Island, Maine, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, North Dakoka, Nevada, Connecticut, California (Feinstein), Florida, Colorado, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alaska or Delaware (Biden) call those Senators and tell them the same. Finally, call and thank ANY Senator who says they will stand with Kerry's filibuster.
Senators Kerry and Kennedy have given us a chance at a fair fight. It is now up to us. Please don't sit this one out. This may be the most important vote with respect to our rights and liberties for a generation. Please do what you can.

TRUST ME!
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS. IT’S $6 MILLION BUCKS-WORTH OF TRULY AMAZING...
(Courtesy MrMR)
http://www.steelcitysfinest.com/HondaAccordAd.htm

IT’LL ALSO HELP YOU DEAL WITH OUR LEADER’S LATEST LITTLE GEM
"It's important for people to understand that this program is so sensitive and so important that if information gets out to how we run it or how we operate it, it'll help the enemy… .Why tell the enemy what we're doing if the program is necessary to protect us from the enemy? And it is." -- George W. Bush

The secret word is Gestapo

ALSO Miss Templeton is now running with the Google ball (and also quotes Sinead O'Connor on Bill Clinton. "Bill Clinton is the sexiest man in the universe. I would bring my own cigars. My mouth is watering at the prospect.") Which mildly resonates with today's All-Time Icon.
http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/

CRYPTIQUE – The machine is over-reaching itself.

Doc40 All-Time Icons # 9 – Marilyn and Jack

"I’ll call you from Dallas, okay? I promise."

HARD DAY
NOTHING TO SAY
BUT I’LL LOAD UP A TIMELESS IMAGE
AND THEN FALL OVER

And the secret image is

But if it's readin' you want, I do have a new column in LA CityBeat.

http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3205&IssueNum=138

CHRIS PENN -- RIP

YO FUCKING HO – HOWARD IS PIRATED
After all that’s gone down, Howard Stern is now looking to his arch-nemesis the FCC for help with the pirates who are bootlegging out his show. Being a Stern-fan, still Sirius-less, and an inveterate bootleg-lover, I went looking for the illegal hook-up. So far, I’ve found www.hearhoward.org which is now silent after a cease-and-desist order, but is still a place to watch the drama unfold, and then I went to http://www.shoutcast.com/directory/?s=Howard+Stern where I was able to get Howard 100 News but not an actual Sterncast, because those channels were overloaded. The fun continues...

A VERY VAGUELY RELATED JOKE
From Harley C1...
In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years.""60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship.""How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

The secret word is Oi

AND once again I would direct you to the bog of the amazing Clive Thompson.
http://www.collisiondetection.net/

AND ALSO a major rant on the sinister manipulation of communications technology sent by Dan
http://tarmle.livejournal.com/80182.html

"Your movie was too fucking long, Kong."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 8 – Godzilla

IT LOOKS LIKE UP TO ME
According to a formula devised by Dr Cliff Arnall, a health psychologist at Cardiff University, yesterday was the unhappiest day of 2006. Factors involved in his calculation include Christmas debts, poor weather, failed New Year's resolutions, returning to work and children going back to school, and the fact that it was a Monday. For more details and a resume of the math...
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/health/stories/012306worstday.html

AND, ON A DAY LIKE THIS, MOLLY IVINS IS NOT WRONG
I’m a fan of Bill Clinton kinda like I’m a fan of Elvis Presley. Despite everything. And I don’t mean Monica. Unfortunately the devotion has ceased to extend as far as Hillary, as I’ve become irked and dismayed by her race to a spurious centerism with her nonsense about flag burning, her bet-hedging on abortion, and other examples of rightward pandering. As we swing into what will be another bloody and vicious election year, I have little enthusiasm about throwing my support behind Sen. Clinton and a crew of invertebrate Democrats whom I don’t trust to make the make the necessary repairs, resolve Bush’s war, halt the galloping destruction of the planet, and the trashing of our natural-born liberties, or to hold of the constant rape of the nation by big oil, big pharmaceuticals, the wanna-be theocrats, and all the other thieving, blind-robbing, neocon corporate swine. The great Molly Ivins has more to say on all this at...
http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?ItemID=20250

AND Miss Templeton has a blog on the centuries long ongoing fight between miners and the mine owners. http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/

The secret word is Persevere

YESTERDAY’S IMAGE: Valerie responds – "Yes, isn't she just lovely? Madrid rooftop during the Spanish Civil War, defending dreams." I would that we could all defend our dreams with such beautiful heroism.

Puao en alto mujeres de Iberia
hacia horizontes preaados de luz
por rutas ardientes,
los pies en la tierra
la frente en lo azul.
Lucia Sanchez Saornil, Valencia 1937

THIS IMAGE was sent by Valerie, without explanation, and I was floored by it’s power. I’m guessing it’s from the Spanish Civil War, but I can’t check because Valerie’s email is on the blink and stuff isn’t getting through. I couldn’t wait to post it because I was just plain humbled by the youthful courage and optimism.



And the next post seem kinda petty in comparison.

ROCK CRIT (may or may not rhyme with bullshit)
I probably wouldn’t be mentioning this, except right, now I find myself in a brief lull in my headlong righteous fury (I have to take a day off now and again), and I stumbled across this 1967 artifact by accident on Robert Christgau’s website. I though I’d reproduce it, because at least Bob has the balls to post rather than bury it. And who knows, maybe he still thinks he’s right. I’ve always had a decided ambivalence to the school of rock crit. I’ve done it, I’ve been savaged by it. Sometimes it advances the cause of rock & roll, and other times it definitely holds it back. I’ve been wrong myself, (once or twice, but not often) but never this wrong. And I wouldn’t be bothering to retread this ancient path if it was the work of some fanzine neophyte, but Bob allows himself to be called the Dean of Rock Critics, and is taught in colleges as a master of the craft. But then again, so am I. (And what’s so wrong with dressing like an English fop, anyway?)

"Hendrix is a psychedelic Uncle Tom. Don't believe me, believe Sam Silver of The East Village Other: "Jimi did a beautiful Spade routine." Hendrix earned that capital S. Dressed in English fop mod, with a ruffled orange shirt and red pants that outlined his crotch to the thirtieth row, Jimi really, as Silver phrased it, "socked it to them." Grunting and groaning on the brink of sham orgasm, he made his way through five or six almost indistinguishable songs, occasionally flicking an anteater tongue at that great crotch in the sky. He also played what everybody seems to call "heavy" guitar; in this case, that means he was loud. He was loud with his teeth and behind his back and between his legs, and in case anyone still remembered The Who, Hendrix had a capper. With his back to the audience, Hendrix humped the amplifier and jacked the guitar around his midsection, then turned and sat astride his instrument so that its neck extended like a third leg. For a few tender moments he caressed the strings. Then, in a sacrifice that couldn't have satisfied him more than it did me, he squirted it with lighter fluid from a can held near his crotch and set the cursed thing afire. The audience scrambled for the chunks he tossed into the front rows. He had tailored a caricature to their mythic standards and apparently didn't even overdo it a shade. The destructiveness of The Who is consistent theater, deriving directly from the group's defiant, lower-class stance. I suppose Hendrix's act can be seen as a consistently vulgar parody of rock theatrics, but I don't feel I have to like it. Anyhow, he can't sing." -- Robert Christgau

On the other hand, despite the vanity of critics, Christgau’s words did no damage to Jimi, unless of course the man read them and they ripped his gut.

The secret word is Petard

CRYPTIQUE – If you can’t show up on time, show up early.

"Feeling funny, but I don’t know why."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 7 – Jimi Hendrix

"Thank you. Thank you very much."

THE BUILDING HAS LEFT ELVIS
The news comes (from, of all places, Pravda via Miss Templeton at http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/ ) that the old RCA Nashville studio A, where Elvis Presley recorded much of the classic albums Rock & Roll #s 1 and 2 is to be torn down to make more room for a car dealership. I recall that I went there back in he mid-1970s. It wasn’t super impressive, but hallowed ground often isn’t. For more...
http://newsfromrussia.com/world/2006/01/20/71423.html

AND THE WHALE IN THE THAMES HAS DIED
The lost, distressed, and ailing whale, stranded in the River Thames in central London, died yesterday as rescue workers ferried it on a salvage barge in to release it into the open sea. The unfortunate and possibly aging, 20-foot-long Northern bottlenose had been lifted onto a barge by rescuers and was being taken downriver toward the North Sea when it suffered convulsions and died. "It was a brave, valiant, but ultimately tragic effort to get the whale to safety," RSPCA scientific officer Leila Sadler said.

WHILE CRUISE KILLS SOUTH PARK
Scientology makes sure you don’t say nothing bad about Little Tommy Cruise, even if you’re only a cartoon character. Cruise is alleged to be breeding the Scientology Messiah with female companion Katie Holmes, and planning very soon to annex the known universe. For a more balanced report...
http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3477151

BUT DOC40 WILL LET YOU SEE THE OFFENDING EPISODE
http://www.scientomogy.info/south-park.htm

The secret word is Clear

But Google "Bill Frist Kills Cats" and see what happens.

And talking of neoCon swine...

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."


Isn’t it delightful to be able to use the same caption twice? (See last Thursday)

WEEKEND AT DOC’S FUNHOUSE
Yesterday the value of Google stock dropped by a full 8%. I don’t think it was my fault, but, even if it was, what the fuck? It's the weekend. Let’s just kick back and relax.

IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR

HCB as sent over this nice picture of the 1930s pioneer stripper and fan dancer Sally Rand, who also happens to be his aunt.

WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS (I fear)

So if you need to read page after page of mindless babble as Paris Hilton gives a court deposition, here’s the link. Be my guest. It's sorta weird art. If you know what I mean. And maybe a reason to bring back the guillotine.
http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/dep1.pdf

AND YOU GOTTA SEE THE BLACK MATTER FLOWCHART
http://www.astro.umd.edu/~ssm/mond/flowchart.html

The secret word is Lazy

"Talk to the hand."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 6 – Harry Dean Stanton

(Yes, a virtual baseball card.)

BUT -- IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT ALREADY -- READ THE TOP ITEM FROM YESTERDAY! With Google, as some girl points out, now being simultaneously cast as both the Defender of Freedom and the Faceless Phantom Menace, cyberspace and paranoia both become highly complicated. But that’s the way of it in the New American Century. Just keep the government away from my search records. Okay?

THE BUMPER STICKER SAYS IT ALL
But if you don’t remember Richard Nixon (think what a fucking monster Bush would be with a functioning brain, and you pretty much have Nixon) here are some observations...

"Nixonland is a land of slander and scare, of lay innuendo, of a poison pen and the anonymous telephone call, and hustling, pushing, and shoving - the land of smash and grab and anything to win." – Adlai E. Stevenson, 1952

"Nixon is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar, and people know it. He's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides." – Harry S. Truman, 1961

"The great division in retrospective appraisal of Nixon will be between those who regard this as the most inept of presidential performances, and those who will regard it as the most vicious." – Richard E. Neustadt

"The President is the Government" – John Ehrlichman

The secret word is Dick

"Je pense donc je suis."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 5 – Brigitte Bardot

(Another virtual baseball card.)

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."





BUT THIS IS FUCKING SERIOUS
After my earlier Googlephobia post, the shit hit the fan – maybe by the synchronicity of the damned – as the White House moved yet again to get its dubious fingers on what amounts to our collective stream of consciousness as expressed by our use of search engines...

FEDS AFTER GOOGLE DATA
By Howard Mintz, Mercury News
The Bush administration on Wednesday asked a federal judge to order Google to turn over a broad range of material from its closely guarded databases.
The move is part of a government effort to revive an Internet child protection law struck down two years ago by the U.S. Supreme Court. The law was meant to punish online pornography sites that make their content accessible to minors. The government contends it needs the Google data to determine how often pornography shows up in online searches.
In court papers filed in U.S. District Court in San Jose, Justice Department lawyers revealed that Google has refused to comply with a subpoena issued last year for the records, which include a request for 1 million random Web addresses and records of all Google searches from any one-week period.
The Mountain View-based search and advertising giant opposes releasing the information on a variety of grounds, saying it would violate the privacy rights of its users and reveal company trade secrets, according to court documents.
Nicole Wong, an associate general counsel for Google, said the company will fight the government's effort ``vigorously.''
``Google is not a party to this lawsuit, and the demand for the information is overreaching,'' Wong said.
The case worries privacy advocates, given the vast amount of information Google and other search engines know about their users.
``This is exactly the kind of case that privacy advocates have long feared,'' said Ray Everett-Church, a South Bay privacy consultant. ``The idea that these massive databases are being thrown open to anyone with a court document is the worst-case scenario. If they lose this fight, consumers will think twice about letting Google deep into their lives.''
Everett-Church, who has consulted with Internet companies facing subpoenas, said Google could argue that releasing the information causes undue harm to its users' privacy.
``The government can't even claim that it's for national security,'' Everett-Church said. ``They're just using it to get the search engines to do their research for them in a way that compromises the civil liberties of other people.''
The government argues that it needs the information as it prepares to once again defend the constitutionality of the Child Online Protection Act in a federal court in Pennsylvania. The law was struck down in 2004 because it was too broad and could prevent adults from accessing legal porn sites.
However, the Supreme Court invited the government to either come up with a less drastic version of the law or go to trial to prove that the statute does not violate the First Amendment and is the only viable way to combat child porn.
As a result, government lawyers said in court papers they are developing a defense of the 1998 law based on the argument that it is far more effective than software filters in protecting children from porn. To back that claim, the government has subpoenaed search engines to develop a factual record of how often Web users encounter online porn and how Web searches turn up material they say is ``harmful to minors.''
The government indicated that other, unspecified search engines have agreed to release the information, but not Google.
``The production of those materials would be of significant assistance to the government's preparation of its defense of the constitutionality of this important statute,'' government lawyers wrote, noting that Google is the largest search engine.
Google has the largest share of U.S. Web searches with 46 percent, according to November 2005 figures from Nielsen//NetRatings. Yahoo is second with 23 percent, and MSN third with 11 percent.

AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...
Our pal lever posted a comment below with a link to a chilling little moviette. Read the comment, but here’s an easier link.
http://www.idorosen.com/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/

The secret word is Stop

Wilson Pickett -- RIP

"Are you still looking at me?"

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 4 – Travis Bickle

(Yes, this is turning into a set of virtual baseball cards.)

GOOGLEPHOBIA
In recent issues of LA CityBeat, I’ve written two pieces that at least touched on the sometimes uncomfortable interface between man and machine. One was about Ray Kurzweil and The Singularity (http://www.lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2881&IssueNum=128 ) and the other was a cover story on contemporary media that touched on the role of Google in the world. (http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3102&IssueNum=135 )
It now emerges that there are people out there who are extremely nervous of the growing power of Google and are weaving what could be the biggest conspiracy fest since the shots from the Grassy Knoll, encompassing everything from AI to mind control to aliens. And me? Where do I stand in all this? Well, I guess I’m firmly on the fence. We’ve been nervous about the mechanism since at least the days of Ned Ludd, and, so far, I’ve managed to just about keep up with the modern world. In fact, on any given Thursday, I may well trust machines more than I trust humans. Also self-interest tells me that I use Google many times daily and definitely don’t want to piss it off. On the other hand, I do love a good conspiracy. So go check this out for a whole lotta fun...
http://www.google-watch.org/

The secret word is Algorithm

OR WOULD YOU RATHER CLONE A SHEEP?

"It’s not easy being green (while conquering the known universe.)"

Doc40 All-Time Icon #3 – The Mekon

(I think this is turning into something akin to a set of virtual baseball cards – or unconscious self-revelation.)

Check this, precioussssss....

AND GOD SAW IT WAS NOT GOOD
Funtopia Rich sent over the following link ( http://www.capalert.com/ ) to "Ministry of the Child Care Action Project (CAP): Christian Analysis of American Culture Ministry", a complicated website – with graphs, flashing lights and constant appeals for donations – that grades all the movies that it can get its hands on, to help parents spot the ungodly evil that lurks in the output of Hollywood. And, man, is there some dire and ungodly evil on the silver screen.

Take, for instance, a snippet of CAP on ROTK.– which one might consider family fare..
"How can I call The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King a work of art? Because of the skill and talents that went into a beautifully choreographed and orchestrated symphony of visual and audio excellence in a story of contrapositioned good and evil. Then how can I find issue with it if it is so magnificent? Because, in nutshell, art does not equal sin and sin does not equal art. Art becomes sin when art uses sin. The inference drawn from the beauty of the manner used to contraposition good and evil may lead some viewers to believe more of evil than evil is due. Whether intentional, such presentation of sensory and spiritual food can be trickery.

The listed offences to God include – "unholy transformation by evil power; talking trees; unholy healing; evil control; unholy possession; threat by wizardry/sorcery; prophesying; evil beasts/demons; repeatedly enlisting tens of thousands of "walking dead" to do good by assisting the "good guys" in battle; frequent and repeated graphic views of many unholy creatures (Orcs) many times in close-up; use of evil (sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry) to do good by assisting the "good guys" in battle; grant of immortality. Plus moral problems like – sparse dress on male character; repeatedly excessive cleavage; open face kiss; smoking; drinking; drunkenness. "

Or CAP on the Star Wars saga...
"While violence was a saturating presence in each of the Star Wars movies, the violence presented was described by one of our subscribers as "clean violence." I may not agree entirely with that description, but the point is made. Subjectively speaking, the kind and scope of violence in the Star Wars movies was akin to that with which we as parents today grew up with: cowboy, military, and cops & robbers violence -- the kind that does not typically drive itself so deeply into the behavior choice warehouse of the adolescent who is aflame with prepubescent or pubescent fire as does the popular style of steely cold violence inflicted with orgasmic satisfaction. Except for that expressed by the emperor in The Return of the Jedi as he tried to kill Luke and in the face of Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace, there was no lust for or joy in inflicting violence noted in the Star Wars movies. The more graphic invasive elements of ignominy included in the Star Wars movies should be relatively re-directable by caring and participative parents, but it is especially important that you share with children the possibly dangerous common invisible or translucent sub-theme of discarding the Sovereignty of God and His Word."

I really have no right to argue with those who subscribe to this nonsense. Hey, it’s a free planet (supposedly). But for once in my life I can only echo the cry of Helen Lovejoy. "Will someone please think of the children?" What kind of dangerous emotional cripples is this mindset raising? (I also wonder what CAP would make of Sting of Death – see last Sunday.)

The secret word is No

NOT IN FRONT OF THE PARROT, SUZY
Chris Taylor, a 30-year-old British computer programmer, grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, "I love you, Gary." Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, named for Ziggy Stardust, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV and would mimic Suzy Collins saying, "Hiya, Gary," every time she answered her mobile phone. Confronted with the evidence, Collins admitted to a month-long affair with a coworker named Gary and moved out of their shared Leeds apartment that same night.

"My dear Doc, a whip can speak volumes."

(Doc40 All-Time Icon #2 – Bettie Page)

REPUBLICANS CONTINUE TO DESTROY EARTH
(And mainly because they don’t like Al Gore)
Buried in yesterday’s NY Times oped page was a story that made my blood boil (and I use the metaphor very deliberately.) Here’s an excerpt...

"In science, nature is the sole arbiter. Disputes are resolved only by better experiments. The better experiment when it comes to global warming was to be the climate observatory, situated in space at the neutral-gravity point between the Sun and Earth. Called Lagrange 1, or L1, this point is about one million miles from Earth. At L1, with a view of the full disk of the Sun in one direction, and a full sunlit Earth in the opposite, the observatory could continuously monitor Earth's energy balance. It was given a poetic name, Triana, after Rodrigo de Triana, the sailor aboard Christopher Columbus's ship who first sighted the New World. Development began in November 1998 and it was ready for launching three years later. The cost was only about $100 million. For comparison, that is only one-thousandth the cost of the International Space Station, which serves no useful purpose. Before Triana could be launched, however, there was a presidential election. Many of the industries favored by the new Bush White House were not anxious to have the cause of global warming pinned down. The launching was put on hold."

And let’s face it, $100 million is fucking chump change. I actually know someone with that kinda scratch. For the full story...
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/15/opinion/15park.html?th&emc=th
And also
http://toms.gsfc.nasa.gov/future/triana.html

I’ve posted Clive Thompson’s link before, but his blog of science/pop-culture tales is so neat, here it is again... http://www.collisiondetection.net/

The secret word is Fried

MLK
"I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits. I believe that what self-centered men have torn down, men other-centered can build up. I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed, and nonviolent redemptive goodwill will proclaim the rule of the land."

(Thanks to Miss Templeton for the text – http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/ )

MONDAY – AND A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

THERE GOES THE OZONE
That slightly dubious award show The Golden Gobles happens today. (And on MLK Day which seems kinda cheesy.) To further complicate the event, highly unnatural winds are buffeting LA and all the hairspray in Hollywood is being used up to keep stars and celebs coiffed on the red carpet. For more on award shows...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3140&IssueNum=136

The secret word is Fluorocarbon

And if you wanna see a can of hairspray explode...
http://www.davesdaily.com/videoclips/84-hairspray.htm

Bumper Sticker Of The Millennium – JESUS LOVES YOU – but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.

And my ego just compels me to post this link...
http://www.sea-urchin.net/radiobaghdad/bugger5.html

CRYPTIQUE – It’s so big it has its own weather system.

DO THE JELLYFISH
HCB has sent what has to be one of the most bizarre movie synopses that I’ve ever encountered...

STING OF DEATH 1966 U.S. film.
It's the timeless story of boy meets girl, girl is loved by another guy who is ugly, girl doesn’t love ugly guy so he becomes a huge killer Jelly Fish. Actually there's more—including some wild butt-shaking rock n roll dancing and two songs by early 60s pop icon Mr. Neil Sedaka who sings the Ska-flavored teen dance hit "Do The Jellyfish" and "Don't Be Stingy Baby." Lots of 60s butt close-ups, wild youth, beer drinking and a very high body count. Joe Morrison, Valerie Hawkins, John Vella, Jack Nagle, Sandy Lee Kane, Deanna Lund, Lois Etelman, Blanche Devereaux, Doug Hobart, Neil Sedaka. Note: Here's a sampling of the deep and meaningful lyrics to "Do The Jellyfish:" Monkey. Don't be a donkey. It's nothing like the Monkey. It isn't funky or anything that's junky. It's something swella! The jilla-jalla-jellyfish!

And it seems as good a time as any to provide a link to the semi-related blog of Dr Mysterian.
http://drmysterian.com/blog.html

The secret word is Squiddy

"There’s a fly trapped in my gun barrel."

(Doc40 All-Time Icon #1 – Jack Elam)

WILDE ABOUT ABSINTHE
A theme seems to be emerging this week. We celebrated Albert Hofmann’s 100th birthday, we discovered that America is back on the booze, and now I come across a delightful observation on absinthe by Oscar Wilde. Oh to be able to "see things as you wish they were."

"Absinthe has a wonderful color, green. A glass of absinthe is as poetical as anything in the world. What difference is there between a glass of absinthe and a sunset? After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world." – Oscar Wilde

The secret word is Aesthetic

AND NOW THIS GUY IS RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR OF MINNESOTA
Launching his campaign on Friday the 13th, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, – who claims he is a vampire and avowed Satanist – is running for Governor of Minnesota. Absurd? The good people of the state did elect pro-wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura, and, of course, we do have a alleged chimp in the White House. But as one who has more than dabbled in the vampire business, I confess I find Sharkey a tad gauche, but what can you do? For more on the undead platform...
http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/Home_page.html

The secret word is Dawn

SHELLEY WINTERS -- RIP

WELCOME TO THE WEEKEND


More later, but, right now, an inspirational message.

"For emergencies, darling, stash some gin in a perfume bottle. It’s perfect to wash down the Nembutal."

(After blogger being out of action all day...)
THE BOOZE IS BACK
The following report came from MSNBC. I must, however, add my own comment. It may of course be rosy hindsight, but didn’t the world run better when everyone went to the bar at lunchtime, sank a few pints or downed a couple of martinis?

An estimated 15 percent of the U.S. workforce consumes alcohol on the job, has a drink before going to work or otherwise is under the influence of alcohol, according to a study by the University of Buffalo’s Research Institute on Addictions. That equates to some 19.2 million workers impaired during the workday via intoxication, withdrawal or hangover.
"Clear policies should be in place regarding alcohol impairment and impairment at work, wrote Doctor Michael Frone, principal investigator of the study. But despite management’s responsibility for the development and enforcement of such policies, managers report elevated rates of consuming alcohol during the workday, working under the influence of alcohol, and working with a hangover," he said.
The institute said that the study, the first of workplace alcohol use to utilize a representative sample of the U.S. workforce, surveyed 2,805 employed adults across the United States from January 2002 through June 2003. Young, single men figured prominently among those who were affected by alcohol, the results showed. Drinking on the job, being under the influence or working with a hangover was more prevalent among men than women, more common among younger workers than older staff, and among unmarried workers than married workers, the study found. Coming into work with a hangover was the most common finding.
The highest levels of alcohol use and impairment were in management, sales, catering and construction. "Of all psychoactive substances with the potential to impair cognitive and behavioral performance, alcohol is the most widely used and misused substance in the general population and the workforce," Frone said.
"The misuse of alcohol by employed adults is an important social policy issue with the potential to undermine employee productivity and safety," he added. The institute said that 10.8 percent admitted they either drank at work, before work or turned up with a hangover but that it happened less than once a month, while 2.9 percent said it was a monthly occurrence and 1.65 percent said weekly.

THIS YOU HAVE TO SEE...
LW says...Folks, jam with youself, this is greeeeeeeeat!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/7661/R/CFD_101/

AND DON’T WE ALL FEEL LIKE THIS AT TIMES...
http://pics.livejournal.com/slurpee/pic/0009015x/

The secret word is Hammered

AND IN LA CITYBEAT...
I have a riff on TV award shows.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3140&IssueNum=136

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. HOFMANN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. HOFMANN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. HOFMANN
DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR BICYCLE?
Dr Albert Hofmann, the discoverer of LSD25, will be a 100 years old today, a milestone to be marked by a symposium in Basel, Switzerland on the chemical compound that he discovered and that famously unlocked the Blakean doors of perception, altering consciousness around the world and giving rise to a lot of guitar feedback and squirrelly dayglo art.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Hofmann

AND FOR FUN IN A SOMEWHAT SIMILAR VEIN...
http://www.permadi.com/java/biomorph/index.html

OR WOULD YOU RATHER GO BOWLING?
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/20057/R/CFD_101/

OR HEAR MORE ABOUT EVO MORALES?
"Meanwhile in Caracas, President Hugo Chavez, a Morales supporter, said Tuesday that he was certain that officials at the US embassy in La Paz had 'already started the conspiracy against Evo Morales. 'I'm sure that the American military in Bolivia is talking, searching for coup plotters' against Morales, he said."
http://www.forbes.com/work/feeds/afx/2006/01/10/afx2442112.html

The secret word is Trippin’

"Sebastian, is this really the only way you can hook up with boys? Can’t you go to a gay bar like everyone else?"

MENTAL HEALTH HOTLINE
Hello. Welcome to the psychiatrist hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don’t press anything.
If you are anal retentive, please hold.
(From lazzafairy)

WITHOUT COMMENT
"Bolivian presidential candidate Evo Morales of the Movement Toward Socialism
(MAS) party celebrates during a news conference inside the coca growers'
headquarters after exit polls gave him a victory with close to 50 percent of the
votes."

What else need be said?

THOSE DARN BUREAUCRATS
"Space tourists must be screened to ensure they are not terrorists, according to proposed regulations from the US Federal Aviation Administration."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4589072.stm

AND TALKING OF SPACE...
More sci-fi pulp covers than you ever dreamed of.
http://www.coverpop.com/visco.php

The secret word is Saucer

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR
WE DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKING WAR
The Pentagon are wondering why Army recruiting numbers are soooo down, and they decided it was all the fault of war opponent Rep. Jon Murtha, not considering for a moment that it might be the prospect of being shot, blown up, maimed, mutilated or killed – not the mention they way that the brass have been screwing around with extended tours of duty. Some girl sent over this report...

"Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said during a news
conference Thursday that Murtha's remarks about Iraq are damaging to troop
morale and to the Army's efforts to bring up recruitment numbers. Pace, the
nation's top general, was asked specifically about an ABC News interview this
week in which Murtha, 73, said if he were eligible to join the military today he
would not join, nor would he expect others to join.
"That's damaging to
recruiting," Pace said. "It's damaging to morale of the troops who are deployed,
and it's damaging to the morale of their families who believe in what they are
doing to serve this country."

http://www.military.com/NewsContent/0,13319,84687,00.html

The secret word is Disaffected

Now I’m messing around with color and images, I naturally wonder what the merry visitors to Doc40's Online Funhouse think about all this. Plus I’d welcome all bizarre, subversive, or devious images. (byron4d@msn.com)

WHO REMEMBERS MY LAI?
WHO REMEMBERS VIETNAM?
MrMR sent over this piece by Richard Goldstein from the NYT.
"Hugh Thompson, an Army helicopter pilot who rescued Vietnamese civilians during the My Lai massacre, reported the killings to his superior officers in a rage over what he had seen, testified at the inquiries and received a commendation from the Army three decades later, died yesterday in Alexandria, La. He was 62.
The cause was cancer, Jay DeWorth, a spokesman for the Veterans Affairs Medical Center where Mr. Thompson died, told The Associated Press.
On March 16, 1968, Chief Warrant Officer Thompson and his two crewmen were flying on a reconnaissance mission over the South Vietnamese village of My Lai when they spotted the bodies of men, women and children strewn over the landscape.
Mr. Thompson landed twice in an effort to determine what was happening, finally coming to the realization that a massacre was taking place. The second time, he touched down near a bunker in which a group of about 10 civilians were being menaced by American troops. Using hand signals, Mr. Thompson persuaded the Vietnamese to come out while ordering his gunner and his crew chief to shoot any American soldiers who opened fire on the civilians. None did.
Mr. Thompson radioed for a helicopter gunship to evacuate the group, and then his crew chief, Glenn Andreotta, pulled a boy from a nearby irrigation ditch, and their helicopter flew him to safety.
Mr. Thompson told of what he had seen when he returned to his base.
"They said I was screaming quite loud," he told U.S. News & World Report in 2004. "I threatened never to fly again. I didn't want to be a part of that. It wasn't war."
Mr. Thompson remained in combat, then returned to the United States to train helicopter pilots. When the revelations about My Lai surfaced, he testified before Congress, a military inquiry and the court-martial of Lt. William L. Calley Jr., the platoon leader at My Lai, who was the only soldier to be convicted in the massacre.
When Mr. Thompson returned home, it seemed to him that he was viewed as the guilty party.
"I'd received death threats over the phone," he told the CBS News program "60 Minutes" in 2004. "Dead animals on your porch, mutilated animals on your porch some mornings when you get up. So I was not a good guy."
On March 6, 1998, the Army presented the Soldier's Medal, for heroism not involving conflict with an enemy, to Mr. Thompson; to his gunner, Lawrence Colburn; and, posthumously, to Mr. Andreotta, who was killed in a helicopter crash three weeks after the My Lai massacre.
The citation, bestowed in a ceremony at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, said the three crewmen landed "in the line of fire between American ground troops and fleeing Vietnamese civilians to prevent their murder."
On March 16, 1998, Mr. Thompson and Mr. Colburn attended a service at My Lai marking the 30th anniversary of the massacre.
"Something terrible happened here 30 years ago today," Mr. Thompson was quoted as saying by CNN. "I cannot explain why it happened. I just wish our crew that day could have helped more people than we did."
Mr. Thompson worked as a veterans' counselor in Louisiana after leaving military service. A list of his survivors was not immediately available.
Through the years, he continued to speak out, having been invited to West Point and other military installations to tell of the moral and legal obligations of soldiers in wartime.
He was presumably mindful of the ostracism he had faced and the long wait for that medal ceremony in Washington. As he told The Associated Press in 2004: "Don't do the right thing looking for a reward, because it might not come."

The secret word is Again

A vignette for Elvis

HAPPY ELVISMAS
Elvis Presley would be 71 today except that he’s dead. Left is a drawing of Elvis by the 15 year-old Jimi Hendrix. (Courtesy of Ben.) Yukiko wonders how such a item was ever preserved. I don’t have a clue. Maybe I’ll ask Ben.

The secret word is Cadillac

LINKS FOR THE WEEKEND

THE BRITISH OPIUM WAR AGAINST THE USA
For many years, we’ve been able to count on wingnut Lyndon Larouche
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyndon_LaRouche)
as a guaranteed bundle of laffs, but now he seems in the process of being coopted by the religious right, the fun can really start...

"The counterculture is a conspiracy at the top, created as a method of social control, used to drain the United States of its commitment to scientific and technological progress. That conspiracy goes back to the 1930s, when the British sent Aldous Huxley to the United States as the case officer for an operation to prepare the United States for the mass dissemination of drugs. We will take this conspiracy apart step-by-step from its small beginnings with Huxley in California to the victimization of 15 million Americans today. With 'The Aquarian Conspiracy', the British Opium War against the United States has come out into the open."
For much, much, more...
http://www.biblebelievers.org.au/aquarian.htm

AND TALKING OF CONSPIRACY...
HCB sends us a brand new German theory that it was Fidel who whacked JFK. (When we all know it was CIA, Hoover, the Military Industrial Complex and the Mob.)
http://service.spiegel.de/cache/international/0,1518,393540,00.html

While some girl draws our attention to the fact that there’s maybe something amiss with Elmo.
http://www.local6.com/news/5784303/detail.html

AND...
Doug the Bass sends over an essay by Howard Zinn, who is simply one of the best minds of any generation. http://www.commondreams.org/views05/1230-36.htm

BUT THE HIPPO AND THE TURTLE ARE HAPPY
http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/hippo.asp

The secret word is Cute

Much fine posting awaits, but it'll have to await awhile longer tomorrow because I'm obsessively playing Gimp Roulette. (see Thursday)

HEALTH NOTES (Don’t Laugh)
Your uncle Pete Townshend is worried about all you iPod cats with phones in your ears winding up deaf as posts. I also wonder about all those cars that drive by pulsing with bass overload. Pete seems to think that it was headphones in the studio that destroyed his hearing – not the stage-wall of Hi-Watt 4x12s – and I tend to agree with him. My own hearing ain’t what it used to be, and after a few hours under headphones, my ears feel a little odd.

"Guitarist Pete Townshend has warned iPod users that they could end up with hearing problems as bad as his own if they don't turn down the volume of the music they are listening to on earphones. Townshend, 60, guitarist in the 60s band The Who, said his hearing was irreversibly damaged by years of using studio headphones and that he now is forced to take 36-hour breaks between recording sessions to allow his ears to recover. "I have unwittingly helped to invent and refine a type of music that makes its principal components deaf," he said on his Web site. "Hearing loss is a terrible thing because it cannot be repaired. If you use an iPod or anything like it, or your child uses one, you MAY be OK ... But my intuition tells me there is terrible trouble ahead." Referring to the increasingly popular practice of downloading music from the Internet, Townshend said: "The downside may be that on our computers – for privacy, for respect to family and co-workers, and for convenience – we use earphones at almost every stage of interaction with sound." The Who rock group was famous for its earsplitting live performances, but Townshend said his problem was caused by using earphones in the recording studio."

Pete’s blog – http://www.petetownshend.co.uk/diary/index.cfm?zone=diary

AND TALKING OF STAYING FIT...
This service might out a whole new spin on exercise...
http://www.misscandypt.blogspot.com/

The secret word is Vibrate

Our motto – We Serve The Sick

LA CITYBEAT
I was planing only to post a quick link to my scarey cover story in the new LA CityBeat...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3102&IssueNum=135

But than gilfane sent over...

GIMP ROULETTE
http://members.aon.at/rialskaedda.html/gimproulette.swf

You gotta see this. And persevere. It’s not a proof-of-stupidity game.

The secret word is Click

(The email is still byron4d@msn.com)

GREED NEVER SLEEPS
I have nothing to say about what still goes on in the US mining industry that Woody didn’t say a whole lot better sixty years ago...

It was early springtime when the strike was on,
They drove us miners out of doors,
Out from the houses that the Company owned,
We moved into tents up at old Ludlow.

I was worried bad about my children,
Soldiers guarding the railroad bridge,
Every once in a while a bullet would fly,
Kick up gravel under my feet.

We were so afraid you would kill our children,
We dug us a cave that was seven foot deep,
Carried our young ones and pregnant women
Down inside the cave to sleep.

That very night your soldiers waited,
Until all us miners were asleep,
You snuck around our little tent town,
Soaked our tents with your kerosene.

You struck a match and in the blaze that started,
You pulled the triggers of your Gatling guns,
I made a run for the children but the fire wall stopped me.
Thirteen children died from your guns.

I carried my blanket to a wire fence corner,
Watched the fire till the blaze died down,
I helped some people drag their belongings,
While your bullets killed us all around.

I never will forget the look on the faces
Of the men and women that awful day,
When we stood around to preach their funerals,
And lay the corpses of the dead away.

We told the Colorado Governor to call the President,
Tell him to call off his National Guard,
But the National Guard belonged to the Governor,
So he didn't try so very hard.

Our women from Trinidad they hauled some potatoes,
Up to Walsenburg in a little cart,
They sold their potatoes and brought some guns back,
And they put a gun in every hand.

The state soldiers jumped us in a wire fence corners,
They did not know we had these guns,
And the Red-neck Miners mowed down these troopers,
You should have seen those poor boys run.

We took some cement and walled that cave up,
Where you killed these thirteen children inside,
I said, "God bless the Mine Workers' Union,"
And then I hung my head and cried.

Woody Guthrie – The Ludlow Massacre

For background...
http://www.fortunecity.com/tinpan/parton/2/ludlow.html

The secret word is Organize

ROLL UP, ROLL UP, THE REPUBLICAN APOCALYPSE IS NEAR!
The post-Solstice miasma that seemed to grip the entire planet this merry morn was considerably brightened by the news that key Washington lobbyist and GOP influence peddler Jack Abramoff has cut a plea deal and is poised to plead guilty to charges of tax evasion, fraud and corruption, and is presumably rolling over on all his Republican chums and the whole stinking and gangrenous house of cards will collapse of its own corruption. (Well, I can hope.) For more of the gory details and particularly the role of one Emily Miller in all this, another outta-control right-wing fuhrette, try Wonkette...
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/abramoffukkah/index.php#bang-the-manicurist-slowly-146280

The secret word is Glee

IT'S THE YEAR OF THE DOG IN JAPAN

The secret word is Woof!

2006 OKAY?
Keep watching the skies
Keep watching the assholes (you know the ones)
And may it be totally splendid for all of us.