Friday, July 02, 2010


Yesterday we were talking about Tutankhamen’s missing penis. Today we’ve moved on to penises in general, courtesy of this emailing from our cohorts at Delancey Place. I do, however, wish people would stop sending me penis enlargement spam. I’m happy with what I have, and even if I wasn’t, I’m too old to do much about it.

"Ever since man began to walk upright, he had been obsessed when his penis would not behave likewise and searched for ways to fix the problem. The world's earliest known medical document, the so-called Edwin Smith Papyrus of Egypt dating from 1600 B.C., presents a strikingly sophisticated view of trauma surgery - except on the back, where one finds 'Incantation for Transforming an Old Man into a Youth of Twenty.' In ancient Greece an herb called satyrion, recommended by the philosopher Theophrastus in 320 B.C., was swiftly harvested to extinction. During the ensuing centuries cloves, ginger, and massaging one's genitals in ass's milk all had their vogue. In England around the year 1000, men were devouring 'love bread' (naked maidens romped in wheat, which was then harvested counterclockwise). The Middle Ages favored lubrication of the afflicted member with melted fat from camel humps. Charlatan – Pope Brock (Crown)

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