Monday, March 15, 2010

TURN AND FACE THE BOOK














"We are your friends. Really."

Okay, enough is enough. It’s a nothing but a Barbie reality. For some months I have participated in Facebook. (Is participated the right word?) It has now reached the point where I would appear to have just shy of a thousand “friends.” That I only really know a very small fraction of these people doesn’t really bother me. I figure that a large number of them may like my work, and I am quite honored that they have asked to be “added.” On first glance the number may seem mildly formidable, but I neither feel guilty about it, nor let it go my head. I note instead that former 1970s groupies from the era of Quaaludes, spangles, and big hair can boast two or three times that number, amply proving that the pen is in no way mightier than the blowjob. What does bother me, however, is that Facebook-generated email has now become a far greater nuisance than spam ever was, and I begrudge the clicks and keystrokes it takes to decline every invitation to travel to Paris at my own expense to see a band that is wholly unknown to me.

Worse still is the illusionary nature of so much of what now clogs my in-box. The only reality on Facebook is used to move product, sell tickets to shows, or raise profiles. Beyond that, far too much of my mail reads like some approximation of what follows. “Frodo Scrodknocker became a fan of World Peace, and suggested you become a fan of World Peace too.” I assume that Frodo Scrodknocker is sincere in his intentions. What I question is does he really think he’s achieving anything? Even assuming that Frodo’s fan page is so highly organized and successful that he manages to net himself a half million respondents, what does Scrodknocker imagine he will a achieve? Does he seriously imagine that all of his amassed virtual signatures will immediately result in all the jihadists, tribal machete gangs, and teenage AK47-cocaine-&-gunpower addicts in the Congo will drop their weapons and go home. Does he think North Korea and Iran will mothball their nukes? Or that Israelis will beat their tanks into plowshares, and the Pentagon will hang out a going out of business sign?

No, of course they won’t. Frodo’s efforts will achieve precisely nothing, except to convince himself and his fan base that they are actually doing something useful, when, in fact they are merely manipulating themselves into a mutually-created, self-congratulatory, Scrodknocker time-sink. Surely what he have here is a post-Huxley, Darwinian-based pitfall of natural selection that will negate both human intelligence and human will. No wonder Facebook has no recognizable business plan. It doesn’t need one. It’s perceived function is to isolate, defuse, and neutralize all dissent, while – I have to imagine – freely feeding an infinite database of the most intimate thoughts, wants, and opinions of FB members. We lock our intelligence and – worse still – our activism into a closed loop as merciless as any iron chain, and then actually thank Big Brother from the privilege because he gives us Farmville and Mafia Wars. Is it any wonder zombie movies are so popular?

I was going to continue with some thoughts on Twitter, because, if anything, I view Twitter as even more dangerously scientological in its effects on our culture, but I’ve written enough for a single post, so I guess I’ll get to that tomorrow. (The images of the Barbie Madmen collection were supplied by the stalwart HCB.)

Click here for Leonard Cohen

The secret word is Futile

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Facebook isn't so bad in context, depends how you use it... you should resign to the notion that the facebook page you have now is for spam and you to hawk your own products through to your "friends." Every idiot out there with a facebook page, the sort of kids that argue on there about if the PS3 is better than the xbox 360 or vice versa... that's your target audience man, that's reality. Those fuckers are really out there & with a bit of effort you can manipualte the zombies into buying your shit... or at least giving you their mom's credit card info. I mean, once you're past 500 "friends" you're in spam-land, and unless you've got a paid person or an unpaid intern working for college credit or have the time yourself to go through and moderate your page to delete spam, it's going to exist. You're at the stage where, the level of potential buyers on your page, the potential level of hits on your page = spam, there's no escape if you're accepting everybody. The traffic flow is the revenue, the business model, people pay for advertising space once there is so much traffic. You might as well make use of that traffic... post tid-bits of every blog post you make, linking through for the full post to here. Make a small "buy my book" widget to place either above or under your Dr. Crow pic so it's right up top and visible to the click-through.

What I suggest you do to see facebook as something meaningful or useful is make a new account and only add people you actually talk to or see in person. Only people you wish to stay in contact with and use that profile to shoot the shit, send messages, post / share links, etc. Talk to the people you care about... the rest of those assholes, ignore them and the internet is full of awesome. Pay attention to those assholes as anything more than dollar signs or cannon fodder, you'll only get depressed.

Not that you can't find somebody intelligent or worth talking to online, but, say, at max a couple hundred per million posts is a lot of stupid shit to read through to find that diamond sparkling amongst the turds. Better to let the diamonds find you and avoid the shit IMO.

You either use facebook to sell shit to people, or keep in contact with people you're already in contact with. Mostly those who are out of state. it's like email for young people... or the new myspace that's user friendly for older people.

Just wait till you get to the chain-letter phase...

Fast Film said...

I, like you, live in Los Angeles where 24/7 traffic precludes in person visits with friends now scattered across all strata of the socio-economic wastelands here. So FB upgrades not being able to find, much less communicate with longtime chums. Have I met new ones in the flesh? Um, yeah.

Your driver said...

As your Facebook 'friend' I was starting to wonder when you were going to figure this out. I'll admit to being compulsive about checking my facebook page. It's how i stay in touch with some witty old friends who refuse to read my blog. Every time I look at Facebook I see your name and words to the effect of: Mick Farren is friends with Frodo Scrodnocker and 26 other profiles (view).

You're supposed to set yourself up with a fan page. Close out your personal page post a notice on your wall that you're closing your personal page and encourage all your loyal friends to come to your fan page.

Once we've all "fanned" you, we do the work and you reap the profits. Every time someone fans you they are asked to invite their friends to fan you too. Yes you will be bombarded with annoying "gifts" but you can also bombard us with witty Farrenisms, clever things harvested from the web and ADVERTISEMENTS FOR FARREN MERCH which we will gratefully purchase.

I just watched Dennis Thompson, the former MC5 drummer go through something similar. He finally closed out his friends page and started a Fan page. I had no trouble with signing up for his fan page. I am a fan. I expect him to send me notices of gigs, advertisements for his newest product etc. I want him to do that.

I am eager to become a recipient of Farren advertising.

So, finally, is Facebook the all seeing eye of Sauron? Yeah probably. I'm not completely sure though. Our relationships with all of this info tech stuff is still pretty anarchic. I just heard, on Facebook, from a friend who is dropping out for real this time. Raising her own food. Cutting up the credit cards and closing out the bank accounts. Her chickens are laying real well. She feels good about the prospects for goat milk in the near future. The guns are cleaned oiled and loaded in case the man comes after her, she thinks the business publicizing pot dispensaries is really going to take off. She told me all of this ON FACEBOOK. I guess it's OK.

hcb said...

I didn't realize that's what the fan page was all about, because I have friends on facebook that I love quite dearly but I would never imagine referring to myself as a "fan," so I ignored their offers. I'm still not comfortable. A fan of Raymond Loewy or Bud Shank? Ok. Can we change fan to confidant or co-conspirator or fellow traveler or water brother?

Mick said...

You are so right, my friend. The FB term "fan", and also the "followers" on Blogger make me very uneasy. Also I have always hoped that all the functions of a Facebook fan page (and more) would be served by Doc40.

Diamond Jim said...

It all seems like a lot of effort for a slim chance of getting laid.

Unknown said...

My sympathies to you Mick,
I just started on this face-book thing yesterday
unfortunately due to no apparent upfront guidance by face-book I have allowed it to use my entire contact list to contact as friends to my now horror as it included the countrywide confidential list of people of an organization that I have belonged to for the past 30 years, as these are in there legal names rather than the names that I know them by,this has caused untold confusion, difficult and time consuming communications and a dilemma, not to mention that my wall is daily loaded with all your bits and pieces I may have to abandon the whole thing

Oh and I recommend
Dr. Batmanghelidj's book
"Your Body's Many Cries For Water"
I now drink about 4 ltrs of water a day and it has cured some disorders. with respect I imagine water not being a favored drink of yours.
Hope you are well
Alex

Frances Lynn said...

Yes, start a Fan page (neglect your Friends page) and create a fresh page under a pseudo-name for your Chosen Few. Good luck!

Munz said...

One question:

Is Frodo Scrodknocker related to Milton Scrodknocker?

One comment to all of you who signed your souls over to Facebook:

SUCKERS!

Unknown said...

What i think is truly insane about Facebook is the 'self-invasion of privacy'.

Already the UK cops, and no doubt many others are tracking down alleged perps who have emigrated via their Facebook pages.

With people invading their own privacy on Facebook, and this info staying online for ever, they're giving Big Brother a massive free gift.

Mind who your friends are on Facebook, their mere online friendship might cause you to land in the pen sometime in the future.

Rock on Mick! Verily thou doth Rock

nancy said...

why participate at all? is it a requirement? can't we live without it? does it even matter? it's just more bullshit to waste time in our daily lives when we could be outside enjoying the sunshine or reading a good book or chatting over a nice cuppa with a friend. I say close your account and go for a bike ride at the beach. all the fb losers glued to their laptops mean there's much more room on the bike path. it's a beautiful day!

hcb said...

are you suggesting we not face the facebook and dance?

Mark Haspam said...

uh oh

TRISKAIDEKAFOBIA!!!!!!!!!!


and facebook fobia.
don't drink the elixir, sue!

stu said...

jim,we`ve got to go for a drink sometime.

Lyle Hopwood said...

It's all too complicated for me.

I don't have any FaceSpace or MyBook pages and although a couple of people keep inviting me to do so (one vehemently) generally speaking the people I want to talk to get to talk to me without it. And I get to talk to them. Hello! (Waves.)

Cripes, the wv is ciedrieh. What's the odds of being able to type that in correctly?

Your driver said...

Damn, I'm deracinated, a rootless cosmopolite. I've lived a bunch of places. I have a number of interests. I'm scattered enough that, if I sat around waiting to have face to face meetings with people like me, I would die of loneliness. I like all of this internet stuff. Yes, it would be grand if all the people I like lived on the same block in some vibrant city where we could all meet up in the cheerful little joint on the corner, but that ain't gonna happen. My days as a scenester and for that matter the days of scenes are over. My several scenes are scattered to the four winds.

And what about this privacy stuff? Beyond my membership in a demographic that is no longer desirable, I'm of no particular interest to the forces of evil squaredom. I probably have more privacy than I've had since childhood. When I was a teenager, the local cops decided to keep an eye on me and my friends. Shortly afterwards I got involved with people who believed themselves to be serious revolutionaries. We assumed we were being watched by the FBI and I'm sure we were. Later I kept somewhat unsavory company. Although they never cut me in on anything much, I assumed that I was being photographed as a known associate. For the past many years I have been a working stiff, subject to surveillance by my bosses that, in the last few years, included cameras and microphones in the workplace.

My point is that I have always assumed that I was speaking on a tapped phone. I have always assumed that I had to be guarded as to what I chose to make public and I have always had to compartmentalize some of my relationships. Given those well established habits, I don't worry about whatever useless information Facebook is able to glean about me. I'm just glad to be able to take advantage of whatever opportunities the internet offers to exchange ideas with people who interest me.

Look it's swell to think about Kerouac booming around the countryside visiting with his friends but the truth is those guys were so lonely that they would hitchhike a thousand miles just to have someone to talk to. There are probably more weirdoes in conversation right now than at any time in history. Would it be better if they were all talking face to face? Maybe. You got any ideas how to do that? Personally, I've used the internet to talk to and eventually meet a bunch of people who interest me. It's OK.

And yes, it was a really nice today. I had two conversations in the past two days, face to face, in the real world, that were profound and deepened my relationships with those people. I also checked my Facebook page.

Mick said...

I feel the same as you, Jon. I would be much poorer without electronic interatcion. It's not that I want any of these services to cease, desist, go away, or close down. I see then akin to the recreational use of drugs. Get as high as you like, but be fully cognizant of the potential downside.

hcb said...

Micky, are you telling me that facebook is constipating?

And Jon, are you telling me you're an ex gulcher?

And that Neal Cassady was lonely?

And what difference does it make if your phone is bugged or not bugged if you're one too many mornings and a thousand miles behind even tickling somebody's red flag? They don't care, whoever they are. It was more fun when I thought they did. The borders have been redrawn so many times they're invisible. The only people banging the gong are Birchers.

facebook (I refuse to capitalize it) and the internet has proven one thing to me, the radical outsiders and the timid line-towers are all in the same stupid room. The world is a lump.

the secret word I need to write to post this is alcalogu, which I think is latin for eloquent when drunk.

Mick said...

And you if anyone should know how eloquent I can be when I'm drunk.

hcb said...

I basque in your glow,


which makes me want to do a TJB gig in Barcelona.

the secret word this time is ovall. can we get a gig at the oval? Isn't that where I introduced the Pink Fairies that one time?