Wednesday, September 10, 2008

BREAKING NEWS (12.47am PST)

World's largest particle collider fires protons across 17-mile tunnel in Europe. And we're still here. (I think I have mixed feelings.)

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Definitely mixed. A black hole could have been a trip. To where I have no idea, but a trip.

Benjamin Owens said...

Hey... you never know, it might just take a while to warm up & go boom.

Meanwhile, at least there are more opportunities for many of us to inebriate ourselves, eat tasty things & hedonistically gratify the self in a variety of fashions.

Mick said...

You have a point there, Faux. Let's wait and wonder.

Anonymous said...

They only switched the thing on today - the actual experiments don't start until next month. Nothing remotely dangerous will be happening today and therefore everyone's artificially enhanced fears will have been allayed.

Anonymous said...

You just think nothing happened because you are lost on Level 1 inebriating yourselves and hedonistically gratifying.

The wend of the world is high.

Sorry

The end of the norld is why

The why of the world is the end.

Get it right in a minute

The end of the world is nigh.

The night.

That's it.

Maggie M'Gill said...

I may be a jaded, cynical old dog, but the switch-on of the Large Hadron Collider looks to me like a load of hype frothed up by credulous hacks on a freebie junket to Switzerland. It's also cross-making when arch-bore Stephen Hawking is allowed to pontificate in public once more - especially, when as an EU resident, I'm indirectly paying for the darn thing (the LHC, not Mr Hawking).

Rant over - Faux' excuse for hedonistic gratification is good. I'll start by visiting the M&S on Great Marlborough Street for a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich.

Anonymous said...

There was no explosion, or rend in time and space, but for some reason my testicles are now the size of cantaloupes and are bright nagenta. Weird, huh?

Anonymous said...

Or Magenta...same/same.

Unknown said...

You fools! It did kill you all, it just recreated the entire universe while you were sleeping. Watch out for the new shit it added, suckers.

Anonymous said...

I am looking very carefully for anomalies.

Löst Jimmy said...

I've just developed a mild headache, could it be linked?

Anonymous said...

Has to be.

Anonymous said...

The rooms in my home are changing size.

Mick said...

13 diversion!

Anonymous said...

It was all prophesied in the word verification if you only knew how to read it.