THE ANNALS OF FLATULENCE
I cannot help but wonder who organized yesterday’s cable news inundation of items about how George Bush totally adores fart jokes and even "cuts a few for laughs." I figure the Democrats hardly have the wit to pull something so perfectly frat house, so it has to be the work of some faction of Republicans attempting to get out from under the escalating national dislike of their President. Unfortunately no one – not even the History Channel – had the audacity to work in a resume of previous world leaders famous for their farting. But here on Doc 40, audacity is our business. Heading the list, of course, would be Adolf Hitler (left), who broke wind continuously as a result of his bizarre, self-designed, vegetarian diet that seemed to consist of lentils and cabbage, followed by chocolate eclairs. Unlike Bush, however, Hitler did not find this in any way amusing, and was profoundly embarrassed by his odorous affliction. (It must be made clear that Doc40 is in no way likening – or even comparing – our President to Hitler. It’s just that a fart is a fart.)

The secret word is Poot!