DID YOU EVER SEE A PANDA SNEEZE?

It’s Saturday. We got through Friday 13th. It’s time for silliness. (Click here.)

OR HULDUFOLK?

The nation of Iceland, now without an economy, is concentrating on their Icelandic elves…

“The huldufólk are thought to live in another dimension, invisible to most. They build their homes inside rocks and on craggy hillsides, and they seem to favor lava formations. The port town of Hafnarfjördur, near Reykjavík, is thought to have a particularly large settlement of elves—as well as other mystical beings like dwarves (who also fit under the broad category of huldufólk). According to local clairvoyants, the huldufólk royal family lives at the base of a cliff in that town. Elf-spotting is an intergenerational phenomenon in Iceland, although more children than adults report seeing huldufólk. Indeed, it's thought that many who are born clairvoyant lose the ability after the age of 8 or so. Furthermore, it's not just Icelanders who have this capacity—theoretically, anyone, from any country, can have the power to communicate with elves. Clairvoyants see elves year-round, sometimes in their own backyards, but Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve.” (Click for more.)

The secret word is Illusion

PROLETARIAT PINUP #9

“Always remember the words of the immortal Che – ‘At the risk of seeming ridiculous, let me say that the true revolutionary is guided by a great feeling of love. It is impossible to think of a genuine revolutionary lacking this quality.’”

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

Mr. Dylan comes walking through the park in his new boots. Uncle Bill decides he doesn’t want to see Mr. Dylan and uses an ancient Hopi invocation to become invisible.

And talking of Mr. Dylan, our pal Michael Simmons has posted an advance heads up on a new album on the Mojo blog. Not as exciting as it might have been in 1966, but still significant that Old Bob can keep popping out tunes. (Click here.)

TO THE SINGULARITY?

I just posted the following on Face Book…

“After just a week and half of being on Face Book, I suddenly find the format has changed. This seems to be uncomfortably like Blogger and many other online systems that also change templates and formats with what seems to be irrational abandon. My heightened sense of what’s-wrong-with-this-picture (some call it my famous paranoia) wonders if were being evaluated or softened up for something.”

SOMETIMES IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT...

...only the oblique makes sense.

The secret word is Tomorrow

AS THE WORLD GOES TO HELL IT WILL SMELL OF WILLIAM SHATNER

Our pal Lost Jimmy sent this over with the question “are these for real.” To which I can but reply, “I fear they are.”

“Genki Wear, known for its licensed science fiction jewelry and perfumes, has produced what might be the most unusual Star Trek product ever: Star Trek colognes and perfume based on the original 1960s television show. In our latest look at Trek’s big Spring Collection, TrekMovie has all the exclusive first details and images on this unique addition to the pantheon of Star Trek merchandise.”

Sadly there’s no image for this one

"Pon FarrThe most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn’t true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans. More details and an image on Ponn Farr will be available soon." (Click here for more of this nonsense.)

Will someone please beam me out of here?

SHAMELESS EGO

Our friends at Ugly Things sent me a vintage interview that I did for Your Flesh magazine back in 1997. (When things made more sense and the future seemed viable.) Now it’s been posted on the mag’s archive site along with this rather cool picture by my friend Wendy. (Click here if you want to read it.)

The secret word is Me

...BEFORE THEY EAT YOU

“Obviously welfare is for the wealthy. We know how to handle money so much better than you six-pack peons.”

Republicans are making ugly noise all over my TV, plainly demonstrating with their discredited, free-market, Obama-must-fail, idiot babble they have absolutely no agenda except loudly and doggedly to protect the wealth of the wealthy and corporate profits. I have heard the argument “that tax cuts must be given to the rich because they are the ones who create the jobs” until my stomach turns. The rich have a Bush-era history of creating jobs. In China, India, Mexico, and the Philippines, but back in USA? Forget about it.

The secret word is Absurdity

PRIDE AND PREDATOR????

I hardly believe this, but it was in Variety…
“Elton John's Rocket Pictures hopes to make the first Jane Austen adaptation to which men will drag their girlfriends. Will Clark is set to direct "Pride and Predator," which veers from the traditional period costume drama when an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about.” (Click here for more.)

THE ADVICE OF THE MIGHTY MONK

“Just because you’re not a drummer doesn’t mean you don’t have to keep time.” Such are the words of the great Thelonious Sphere Monk, words good for both a band and the whole wide world. Monk wrote the above memo in 1960, which was then photographed by Steve Lacy (and sent to us by Munz.) That’s Monk who could play opposing melodies with each had. That’s Monk who swallowed a handful of acid and asked for more. That’s Monk who should be heeded.

The secret word is Fifth

...AND SINCE IT'S A BEBOP SUNDAY (and the clocks moved forward)

“So when does this economic crisis end, for fucksake?”

TIMES ARE GETTING HARD, BOYS

"I hear the US lost a half million jobs last month."

The secret words are Class War

PROLETARIAT PINUP #8

“Remember the salutary warning of V.I. Lenin, comrades. ‘If Socialism can only be realized when the intellectual development of all the people permits it, then we shall not see Socialism for at least five hundred years.’”

PLEASE SAY THIS IS A PHOTOSHOP JOKE

Sent by HCB to disturb us all on Friday.

YOU CAN PUT A CAT IN A BONG BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE IT A BROWNIE

Our pal Elf Hellion sent over the following piece of reefer madness…

"A man who stuffed his girlfriend's cat into a makeshift bong and smoked marijuana through it said Tuesday that he had done it on other occasions and that it calmed the cat down. Acea Schomaker of Lincoln said he never intended to hurt the 6-month-old cat, Shadow. Lancaster County sheriff's deputies responding to a domestic disturbance at the residence ticketed the 20-year-old Schomaker on suspicion of misdemeanor animal cruelty Sunday after catching him smoking marijuana from a boxlike contraption that had the cat stuffed inside its 12-inch by 6-inch base. Schomaker's girlfriend, Marissa Vieux, also was ticketed for animal cruelty because she didn't try to stop Schomaker." (Click for more and a video.)

SNUG, SNUG, SNUGGIE!

Does a closet desire for a Snuggie and the need to look like a survivor of the Heaven’s Gate cult indicate mental disintegration?

Oh yeah, seemingly today is Multiple Personality Day.

Hank Crawford -- RIP

THE DEMON PORKER WILL EXPLODE

As the madness of Republicans barks louder by the hour, our good-buddy HCB sends us the following comments…

“The attention Limbaugh is getting must be a better narcotic than a bottle of liquid Oxycontin, if his current rant is any indication. Listening to him on the radio at the moment, he's beseeching--demanding I suppose is a better word – Obama to debate him on his show (no flunkies, please, says Rush, no ex-Presidents, no current Vice-Presidents). Limbaugh is offering to fly Obama down, first class, feed him, and put him up in a five-star resort (I'm not making this up).
Do you suppose Limbaugh might be possessed by Idi Amin, might actually eat Obama if he gets within reach?
Limbaugh's ego is so inflated he appears to be on the verge of some kind of massive implosion, like a Lonesome Roads meltdown. I don't want to be on the same continent when this happens--a cross between the Hindenberg and the guy at the end of the Monty Python movie.”

The secret word is Dementia

SKYWATCHING

And while we’re talking friends of Doc40, our good pal Skylaire Alfvegren is now the Los Angeles correspondent for UFO Examiner. She will post every few days. (Click here for Skylaire.)

And click here for a Cthulhu-orientated humor piece from The Onion.

Or click here for a very nice review of The Deviants compilation CD On Your Knees Earthlings.

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

Uncle Bill doesn’t find Mr. Zappa very amusing and reaches for his tiny Derringer.

THE TOTAL PERSPECTIVE VORTEX

The following – sent by our pal Elf Hellion – is kinda long, but is does confirm some things I have always suspected.

”Most people think of the "mentally disordered" as a delusional lot, holding bizarre and irrational ideas about themselves and the world around them. Isn’t a mental disorder, after all, an impairment or a distortion in thought or perception? This is what we tend to think, and for most of modern psychology's history, the experts have agreed; realistic perceptions have been considered essential to good mental health. More recently, however, research has arisen that challenges this common-sense notion. In 1988, psychologists Shelly Taylor and Jonathon Brown published an article making the somewhat disturbing claim that positive self-deception is a normal and beneficial part of most people’s everyday outlook. They suggested that average people hold cognitivebiases in three key areas: a) viewing themselves in unrealistically positive terms; b) believing they have more control over their environment than they actually do; and c) holding views about the future that are more positive than the evidence can justify. Thetypical person, it seems, depends on these happy delusions for the self-esteem needed to function through a normal day. It’s when the fantasies start to unravel that problems arise.
Studies into clinical depression have yielded findings leading to the development of an intriguing, but still controversial, concept known as depressive realism. This theory puts forward the notion that depressed individuals actually have more realistic perceptions of their own image, importance, and abilities than the average person. While it’s still generally accepted that depressed people can be negatively biased in their interpretation of events and information, depressive realism suggests that they are often merely responding rationally to realities that the average person cheerfully denies.Lear's Fool speaks wisdom disguised as madness. Those with paranoid disorders can sometimes possess a certain unusual insight as well. It has often been asserted that within every delusional system, there exists a core of truth—and in their pursuit of imagined conspiracies against them, these individuals often show an exceptionally keen eye for the real thing. People who interact with them may be taken aback as they find themselves accused of harboring some negative opinion of the person which, secretly, they actually do hold. Complicating the issue, of course, is the fact that if the supposed aversion didn’t exist before, it likely does after such an unpleasant encounter.As one might imagine, these issues present some problems when it comes to treatment. How does one convince a depressed person that “everything is all right” when her life really does suck? How does one convince an obsessive-compulsive patient to stop religiously washing his hands when the truth of what gets left behind after “normal”washing should be enough to make any sane person cringe? These problems put therapists in the curious position of teaching patients to develop irrational patterns of thinking—patterns that help them view the world as a rosier place than it really is. Counterintuitive as it sounds, it's justified because what defines a mental disorder isnot unreasonable or illogical thought, but abnormal behaviour that causes significant distress and impairs normal functioning in society. Treatment is about restoring a person to that level of normal functioning and satisfaction, even if it means building cognitionsthat aren’t precisely “rational” or “realistic.” It’s a disconcerting concept. It’s certainly easier to think of the mentally disordered as lunatics running about with bizarre, inexplicable beliefs than to imagine them coping with a piece of reality that a "normal" person can’t handle. The notion that we routinely hide from the truth about ourselves and our world is not an appealing one, though it may help to explain the human tendency toostracize the abnormal. Perhaps the reason we are so eager to reject any departure from this fiction we call "normality" is because we have grown dependent on our comfortable delusions; without them, there is nothing to insulate us from the harsh cold of reality.”

The secret word is Acuity

THIS BLOG IS STILL PROTECTED BY...

Nick – “I hear Rush Limbaugh has effectively annexed the Republican Party.”
Nora – “Fat bastard drug addict.”

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part 0100100)

In which Marilyn, expansive and gorgeous, excitedly leads the celebrations. Santa Clara has fallen, the armored train is derailed, the British Homosexual in the burnoose and white robes takes no prisoners, Zombie Bankers have packed their gold and uranium and taken it on the lam. The Mugwumps scatter in confusion. Apollonians put down their weapons and surrender in their thousands. Drinks are on the house and victorious Dionysians are as drunk as skunks in twenty dimensions. The files of the Secret Police are burning. The Men In Hats have gone with the wind. Princess Aura has been arrested and will be tried by The People’s Courts. Birds sing. Cats dance. Dogs have their day. But Marilyn is well aware that, in the reality streams of the multiverse, it only takes one inadvertently stomped butterfly to change everything.

(I must stop lifting images from Tom Sutpen.)

(THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN NOW HAS IT’S OWN PAGE SO THE WHOLE THING CAN BE READ WITHOUT SCROLLING. CLICK HERE)

DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF PHILP K. DICK?

A controversy is growing around the publication of the novel The Owl in Daylight by Tessa Dick, last wife of Philip K. Dick, that claims to be a reworking of the book the revered author was working on at the time of his death in 1982. In an interview in Self-Publishing Review, Tessa Dick states her case.

“I started writing The Owl in Daylight when some of Phil’s loyal readers begged me to write it. I had (somewhat foolishly) posted a comment on a blog about the Owl that I knew the story and could write it. This was followed by pleas that I do so at once. I attempted to express the spirit of Phil’s proposed novel, without using his plot or the one character that he had created. Phil had written very little about this novel. In fact, all that has been found is a letter that he wrote to his editor and his agent (same letter, two copies). It was very sketchy and did not even name any characters. It did mention Dante’s Inferno and the Faust legend. I did not use Phil’s ideas as he expressed them in that letter to his editor and his agent. He was going to have a great scientist design and build a computer system and then get trapped in its virtual reality. The computer would be so advanced that it developed human-like intelligence and rebelled against its frivolous purpose of managing a theme park.
In the conversations that we had shortly before Phil’s death, I couldn’t convince him that a computer system would have to be designed and built by a team of experts in different fields, such as one expert in graphics, another in animation, one for hardware, one for software and so forth. I have read that Doris Sauter published an alternate plot involving a musician and aliens, but I did not read her book and did not use her ideas. The Owl in Daylight is my concept of what Phil’s novel should be. I relied heavily on Mozart’s opera The Magic Flute. The plot is loosely based on Phil’s life, which will become more apparent in the sequel, The Owl in Twilight. Sometimes I do feel that Phil is communicating with me from beyond the grave, but that concept is too spooky for me to accept completely. It’s probably just that I knew him so well that I can think the way he did."

Not everyone is exactly happy about all this. The opposing case is succinctly stated by our pal Dr. Adder (although is makes clear his doctorate is primarily in bullshit.)

“She's not just using the title, but she is publicly representing the book as being based on Phil's story; arguably, if nothing else, the estate might be able to claim that she's intentionally creating confusion in the market and undermining the value of the "real" Owl in Daylight story outline that Phil set down in writing while he was alive. The ungenerous view would be that this may be a work of blatant corpse-fuckery, as when August Derleth wrote "posthumous collaborations" with HP Lovecraft, basing whole novels on some dashed-off sentence in HPL's notebooks. Her intentions may be much more noble, buuuut...It sounds like she's on the outs with the estate and I wonder if she's setting herself up for a big legal kick in the teeth if the estate deigns to take notice. Though it doesn't look like she's put his name on the book and has been cagier in the phrasing in the promo material on the publisher's site, calling it a "tribute" to Phil.”

If more unravels we’ll bring it to you.

ANOTHER VERY ODD COMIC

(sent by Munz)

The secret word is Tricky

THE WEIRD TWINS OF CÂNDIDO GODÓI

Geneticists have no solid explanation for why this small town in southern Brazil is home to 38 pairs of twins among about 80 families living in a one-and-a-half-square-mile area. The mystery has persisted for decades. Some claim it’s the result of an unknown mineral in the town’s water, while other researchers suggest a darker possibility. Dr. Josef Mengele, the Nazi physician known as the Angel of Death, and who had a morbid fixation on twins roamed this region of southern Brazil, posing as a veterinarian, in the 1960s, about the time the twins explosion began. An Argentine journalist, Jorge Camarasa, has suggested that Mengele conducted experiments that resulted in the higher rate of twins, many of them with blond hair and light-colored eyes. The experiments, locals said, may have involved new types of drugs and preparations, or even the artificial insemination. (Click here for more.)

The secret word is Whaaaat?

"I used to be the Lone Ranger."

(Pic sent by HCB)

THEY DON'T STAGE SHOWS LIKE THIS ANY MORE #14

ELVIS SLAPS SHEREE

Two days ago, the subject of movie star Sheree Noth came up, (see last Wednesday’s comments) which, in turn, caused me to happen across this very odd still of Elvis slapping Sheree from the movie The Trouble With Girls. I’ve (mercifully) never seen The Trouble With Girls, so I don’t know the context, but when I saw the pic, I knew I was going to post it. It was such a bizarre (and also changed) punkoid artifact, and that’s the way the demon rolls. I also decided that Doc40 readers were big enough and blasé enough to handle it, but, before I pushed the button, I would agonize for a pointless period about that cultural correctness of so doing. Would this do harm? What fall-out would result if I ran and how I’d feel if I censored myself? In the end, the only answer was “fuck it” and click “post.”

The secret word is Conflict

GREAT MOMENTS IN PARANORMAL HISTORY

November 20, 1952 – George Adamski meets Orthon from Venus.

Philip Jose Farmer – RIP

WATER ON MARS?

The following fascination was lifted from our pal Iggy…

“Strange globs seen on the landing strut of the Phoenix Mars lander could be the first proof that modern Mars hosts liquid water, a new paper reports. Images from the robotic craft show what appear to be liquid droplets growing, merging, and dripping on the lander's leg over the course of a Martian month. Phoenix landed near Mars's north pole last May, and several "self portraits" taken to assess the craft's health show material spattered on the legs. This substance is probably saline mud that splashed up as the craft landed, study leader and Phoenix co-investigator Nilton Renno of the University of Michigan told National Geographic News. Salt in the mud then absorbed water vapor from the atmosphere, forming the watery drops, Renno said. The water can stay liquid even in the frigid Martian arctic because it contains a high amount of perchlorates, a salt "with properties like the antifreeze used to melt snow here in Michigan," said Renno, who will present the work next month at the 40th Lunar and Planetary Science Conference.” Click for more.

SECRET?

The secret word is Encrypted

THIS MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY ODD MAGAZINE #4

I guess it was inevitable that the Marilyn would make the cover of Sir.

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part lotr09)

In which Marilyn learns that motivating an Ent is easier said that done. The Dionysian High Command had decided in its drunken wisdom that the Ent in question was crucial to the assault on the Apollonian fortresses, but no one so much as knew it’s name, let alone how to enlist its aide, because the Ent in question hadn’t spoken in seventy-three years. Marilyn had been dispatched by her handlers to motivate the tree-creature with her goddess wiles, but she had her doubts. Pressing herself with total abandon against the rough, unyielding outer bark, she felt no response, and was at a loss to know if she and the Ent were in any way bio-compatible, even on the most basic and pedestrian level. Then, very slowly, something moved inside the Ent, and, rumbling low, from somewhere deep in its core, came what sounded like a creaking sigh. “Haaarooommm!”

(THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN NOW HAS IT’S OWN PAGE SO THE WHOLE THING CAN BE READ WITHOUT SCROLLING. CLICK HERE)

WINSTON O'BOOGIE

MrMR just sent this amazing short film based on an interview with John Lennon. Click here.

The secret word is Onward

A MOVIE THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

When I saw this poster on “If Charlie Parker…” I had to reproduce it. I must have been about nine years old when I saw Destination Moon, with it’s George Pal special effects and Robert Heinlein story (and a cameo by Woody Woodpecker). It totally convinced me that I had to be an astronaut when I grew up. But did I achieve that goal? That’s a matter of perception. I’m fairly confident I advanced beyond the rank of Space Cadet.

The secret word is Ingnition

PROLETARIAT PINUP #7

Remember the words of Fidel, dear Comrades. “I find capitalism repugnant. It is filthy, it is gross, it is alienating... because it causes war, hypocrisy and competition. I began the revolution with 82 men. If I had to do it again, I do it with 10 or 15 and absolute faith. It does not matter how small you are if you have faith and a plan of action.”

BUT WE'RE REPUBLICANS

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

Uncle Bill suspects he’s been channeled.

THIS REALLY WAS A STRANGE COMIC

Our pal Roldo sent over this amazing artifact. It’s a comic book created by Chris Welch, Chris Rowley, and me back around 1972. It was a luridly stoned precursor of The Road Warrior, and the premise was that an experimental psychotropic chemical weapon was accidently released which fried the human brain into horridly dysfunctional perma-trip mush. The only survivors were folk/freaks who’d had a previous psychedelic experience. (Yeah, we had fun back in the day.)

And by a weird synchronicity, I came into touch with Chris Welch yesterday while checking out Face Book. But I tell you about my Face Book adventures later. Right now I have much I want to write about and am summoning the energy (or maybe the entities) to do it.

The secret word is Crawling

BLOG OR DIE!

I'm recovering but find myself still kinda weak and tending to sleep a lot. I'm getting there, though. And thanks for all the kindness and good wishes.