SUNDAY BREAKFAST

Back in the days of yore, after Sunday breakfast, she would smoke and I would drink vodka and grapefruit juice and ponder philosophy. Then we might go back to bed for the balance of the day. Will those days ever come again? Who knows? Maybe they will. (The following pondering was supplied by our pal Elf Hellion but the identity of its original author is unclear.)

FAMOUS WORLD IDEOLOGIES AS EXPLAINED BY COWS

* Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
* Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.
* Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
* Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
* Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
* Real World Communism: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
* Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
* Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free” market.
* Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
* Militarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
* Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
* Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
* Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
* British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps’ brains and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.
* Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
* Pure Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
* Pure Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
* Capitalism: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.
* Enviromentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
* Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
* Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Click here for a satiric or maybe ironic shout-out to Tottenham. (I add ironic and satiric so I’m not dragged off for incitement.)

The secret word is Repeat

MARILYN SEZ...

“Haven’t I heard the phrase ‘London’s burning’ somewhere before?”

HERE WE GO AGAIN

I vividly recall how the Los Angeles urban insurgency of 1992 was basically a case of the police needing to prove they were the most powerful gang in town. And already I hear Tory politicians on TV talking about “eradicating the thug element.” Do they really think people will go quietly into poverty and destitution?

Click here for freeform media.

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Labia Sackville-Frozdick wondered if it was still safe to walk her cheetah.

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, A NUCLEAR POWER WITH ENOUGH FIREPOWER TO DESTROY THE WORLD MULTIPLE TIMES OVER HAS JUST HAD IT’S CREDIT RATING DOWNGRADED. MEANWHILE THE CATAPOCALYPSE DRAWS CLOSER…

By way of explanation I’m tired, my head is starting to ache, and I feel disinclined to write any more tonight. Click here for Eddie Cochran

The secret word is Impossible

AND THE BIRDS MAY ALSO BE IN ON IT…

BUT BE WARNED...

MORE CHICKEN THAN A MAN EVER SEEN

Why you might ask, as the Dow sinks and the government of the United States and its corporate masters attempt to infect the global economy with terminal capitalist gangrene – and ultimately hand the infinite game to China – why Doc40 devotes its space and time to a recipe for Elvis Presley’s favorite fried chicken? The anniversary of Elvis’s death approaches, which is something we mark in passing here but certainly don’t celebrate. More important, though, as we seem to be dragged deeper and deeper into Great Depression II, I can’t help but reflect what Elvis was born during Great Depression I and almost certainly went hungry as a kid which might account for his compulsive eating in later life and why the recipe calls for no less that 30 chickens. (You note we have refrained from using an image of a fat Elvis. Doc40 don’t play that)

1/2 c thyme
1/4 c oregano
1/4 c basil
1/2 c onion powder
1/2 c garlic powder
1/2 c dry mustard
1/2 c paprika
1/4 c chili powder
1/2 c celery seed
2 Tbsp salt
1/2 c coriander
1/2 c cumin
1/3 c kosher salt
1/4 c cayenne pepper
1/2 c ground black pepper
1/4 c ground white pepper
3 gals. buttermilk
3 cases organic free range chicken (roughly 30 chickens, divided into 1.5- to 2-lb. sections)
Mix these amounts of the dry ingredients together in a large bowl, then whisk in the buttermilk until it's thoroughly mixed.
Pour the batter over the chickens and marinate for up to five days - keep refrigerated, of course.
For frying
Now mix another 4x the above dry ingredients, and add:
2 lbs. cornstarch
8 qts. all-purpose organic whole wheat flour
Dredge the marinated chicken pieces in the dry herbs/flour/cornstarch mixture mix.
Fry the dredged chicken in a large skillet with hot peanut oil @ 375 degrees. Once chicken has reached a golden brown color, finish cooking it in the oven.

Click here for Marianne (it’s a great tune)

The secret word is Schmaltz (figure it out, you goys)

THE BEAGLE GLOWS

Our pal Aeswiren sent us this oddity. Alas we don’t have pictures of the luminous doggie. (I also assume they called the 2005 clone-beagle Snuppy because, if they called it Snoopy, lawyers from the Charles M. Schultz Empire would have fallen upon the cloners like piranha.)

"South Korean scientists said on Wednesday they have created a glowing dog using a cloning technique that could help find cures for human diseases such as Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, Yonhap news agency reported. A research team from Seoul National University (SNU) said the genetically modified female beagle, named Tegon and born in 2009, has been found to glow fluorescent green under ultraviolet light if given a doxycycline antibiotic, the report said. The researchers, who completed a two-year test, said the ability to glow can be turned on or off by adding a drug to the dog's food. The creation of Tegon opens new horizons since the gene injected to make the dog glow can be substituted with genes that trigger fatal human diseases," the news agency quoted lead researcher Lee Byeong-chun as saying. He said the dog was created using the somatic cell nuclear transfer technology that the university team used to make the world's first cloned dog, Snuppy, in 2005. The scientist said that because there are 268 illnesses that humans and dogs have in common, creating dogs that artificially show such symptoms could aid treatment methods for diseases that afflict humans. The latest discovery published in 'Genesis', an international journal, took four years of research with roughly 3.2 billion won ($3 million) spent to make the dog and conduct the necessary verification tests."

PLUGS FOR PALS

Click here for the good and wonderful Sonja Kristina’s band Mask

SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT TWO BITS

“Anything for the weekend, sir?”

GRATUITOUS MONTECRISTO

TUBULAR HELLS

“Gosh, mommy, it’s on TV so it must be true.”


Yesterday Al Jazeera reported…

“The richest 1% of US Americans earn nearly a quarter of the country’s income and control an astonishing 40% of its wealth. Inequality in the US is more extreme than it’s been in almost a century — and the gap between the super rich and the poor and middle class people has widened drastically over the last 30 years.”

Click here for Richard Cory

The secret word is Avarice

JUST LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED

I don’t know if Al Jazeera is updating the situation in Fukushima but, sure as shit, no other part of the MSM is. They’re too busy with News Corp, Amy Winehouse, and the debt ceiling.

TOKYO — Tokyo Electric Power Co. (TEPCO) said Monday it had monitored record high radiation at the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant crippled by the March 11 quake and tsunami. TEPCO said radiation levels reached at least 10 sieverts per hour near the debris left between the number one and number two reactors of the plant at the center of the ongoing nuclear crisis. The previous record was three to four sieverts per hour monitored inside the number one reactor on June 3. "Three plant workers were exposed to a dosage of four millisieverts while they were monitoring radiation," a TEPCO spokeswoman said. "We are still checking the cause of such high levels of radioactivity." The government and TEPCO say they remain on target to bring the reactors to a safe state of cold shutdown by January at the latest now that a water circulation system has been established. Efforts to stabilize the worst nuclear crisis since Chernobyl 25 years ago have continued since a 9.0 magnitude earthquake triggered a tsunami, sparking reactor meltdowns at the plant and spewing radiation into the environment. The government has said radiation levels around the plant, which lies 220 kilometers (136 miles) from Tokyo, had fallen to "two-millionths" of the peak recorded March 15. Tens of thousands of people remain evacuated from homes, businesses and farms in a no-go zone around the plant.

ENERGY CAFÉ NEEDS YOUR HELP

Click here to find out why

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Benedict Frozdick (second from left) and his dog Ruddles (fourth from right) contributed absolutely nothing to the human pyramid.

THEOLOGY MADE SIMPLE

(Lifted from Adam Gorighly)

DON'T YOU MISS THE 20TH CENTURY?

DOC40 IS TAKING THE DAY OFF TO GET SOME SLEEP, BUT WE DID LIFT THIS FROM WORLD OF WONDER TO POST WITHOUT COMMENT

Click here for Betty Chung (Lifted from our pal Gwennie)

The secret word is Tomorrow

IT’S THE SAME THE WHOLE WORLD OVER

Bernie Sanders is the lone socialist in the US senate. His statement applies not only to the United States but too all of the developed world where the wellbeing of ordinary people is being cynically sacrificed to a greed so overwhelming it would be an abstraction if it wasn’t so damaging.

“The Republicans have been absolutely determined to make certain that the rich and large corporations not contribute one penny for deficit reduction, and that all of the sacrifice comes from the middle class and working families in terms of cuts in Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, LIHEAP, community health centers, education, Head Start, nutrition, MILC, affordable housing and many other vitally important programs. I cannot support legislation like the Reid proposal which balances the budget on the backs of struggling Americans while not requiring one penny of sacrifice from the wealthiest people in our country. That is not only grotesquely immoral, it is bad economic policy.”

Click here for rare Woody Guthrie

The secret word is Grotesque

MEMPHIS PSYCHOSIS

Regular readers of Doc40 may recall that we’ve been following the progress of the short film that director Kris Hipps has been building around the Tijuana Bible tune/spoken word piece “Memphis Psychosis”. A new cut is now up on YouTube and well worth a few minutes of your time.

Click here to watch the fun

OR YOU COULD JUST FORGET THE WHOLE THING AND WALK YOUR FISH

GRATUITOUS BARDOT