DESTROY ALL ART!

“Gauguin is evil. He has nudity and is bad for the children. He has two women in the painting and it’s very homosexual. I was trying to remove it. I think it should be burned. I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.”

Thus spake Susan Burns after trying to destroy “Two Tahitian Women”

“The Paul Gauguin masterpiece that was attacked Friday by a woman at the National Gallery of Art “sustained no damage,” the museum said Monday, after conservators examined the canvas. The painting, owned by the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and valued at $80 million, is expected to be back on view at 10 a.m. Tuesday, the gallery announced. The work, “Two Tahitian Women,” is part of the exhibit “Gauguin: Maker of Myth,” which opened in late February. A museum visitor, identified in documents filed with the D.C. Superior Court as Susan Burns, 53, of Alexandria, grabbed the painting by its frame and attempted to pull it off the wall. She then hit the painting, which was protected by a plexiglass shield, with her right fist, the court papers said. Burns, who was handcuffed and detained, has been charged with attempted theft in the second degree.” (Click here for more)

Click here for The Band

The secret word is Ear

PREGNANCY FOR PLEASURE AND PROFIT

Can anyone doubt the Palins are a tribe of grifters.

“ANCHORAGE, Alaska—Tax documents show unwed mother Bristol Palin earned more than $262,000 for her role in helping raise awareness for teen pregnancy prevention in 2009. The most recent data for The Candie's Foundation that's posted online by research firm GuideStar shows compensation at $262,500 for the now-20-year-old daughter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, the 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee. Bristol Palin was 18 when she was appointed as a teen ambassador for the New York-based foundation in 2009, months after giving birth to son, Tripp. She and the 2-year-old boy's father, Levi Johnston, are no longer together. Palin family attorney John Tiemessen and foundation officials did not immediately return calls for comment Tuesday. Palin, who still works for the foundation, told The Associated Press last year that girls would think twice about having sex if they knew how tough it is to be a mother. She said she "wasn't prepared at all" for the dramatic changes in her life since becoming a mom. "I don't think anyone realizes how difficult it really is until you actually have a screaming baby in your arms and you're up all night," Palin said. When she was first named to the ambassador role, Palin said in a statement she felt she could be a living example of the consequences of teen pregnancy.” (Click here for more)

BEES LAST STAND?

Sometimes you just want to weep.

“Honeybees are taking emergency measures to protect their hives from pesticides, in an extraordinary example of the natural world adapting swiftly to our depredations, according to a prominent bee expert. Scientists have found numerous examples of a new phenomenon – bees "entombing" or sealing up hive cells full of pollen to put them out of use, and protect the rest of the hive from their contents. The pollen stored in the sealed-up cells has been found to contain dramatically higher levels of pesticides and other potentially harmful chemicals than the pollen stored in neighbouring cells, which is used to feed growing young bees. "This is a novel finding, and very striking. The implication is that the bees are sensing [pesticides] and actually sealing it off. They are recognising that something is wrong with the pollen and encapsulating it," said Jeff Pettis, an entomologist with the US Department of Agriculture. "Bees would not normally seal off pollen." But the bees' last-ditch efforts to save themselves appear to be unsuccessful – the entombing behaviour is found in many hives that subsequently die off, according to Pettis. "The presence of entombing is the biggest single predictor of colony loss. It's a defence mechanism that has failed." These colonies were likely to already be in trouble, and their death could be attributed to a mix of factors in addition to pesticides, he added.” (Click here for more)

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Christopher Robin Frozdick had a difficult childhood.

YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR LUCK

UNCANNY VALLEY

The boundary between cute and creepy may be narrower than we think.

“Computer animation has a problem. When it gets too realistic, it starts creeping people out. Most recently, moviegoers complained about the near-realistic depiction of humans in Disney's 3D flick Mars Needs Moms, which bombed at the box office despite costing hundreds of millions of dollars. A theory called the "uncanny valley" says we tend to feel attracted to inanimate objects with human traits, the way a teddy bear or a rag doll seems cute. Our affection grows as an object looks more human. But if it looks too human, we suddenly become repulsed. Instead of seeing what's similar, we notice the flaws — and the motionless eyes or awkward movements suddenly make us uncomfortable.” (Click here for more.)

The secret word is Rodent

AND TALKING OF CREEPOUT…

…check out this dementedly eerie commercial for the 2011 National Day of Prayer.
Click here for the Apocalyptic Wrath of the Lord.

ENDLESS CELESTIAL FUN

This is almost as much fun as Penguin Whacking and much less violently atavistic.
Click here. Trust me.

PRODUCT PLACEMENT

Click here for early Lemmy (from Jeff Dexter)

GRATUITOUS TAYLOR

(I believe this is going viral.)

GO CAT GO!

Click here for Jimmy Smith

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Our pal Chris Hedges makes the case for civil disobedience.

“The phrase consent of the governed has been turned into a cruel joke. There is no way to vote against the interests of Goldman Sachs. Civil disobedience is the only tool we have left. We will not halt the laying off of teachers and other public employees, the slashing of unemployment benefits, the closing of public libraries, the reduction of student loans, the foreclosures, the gutting of public education and early childhood programs or the dismantling of basic social services such as heating assistance for the elderly until we start to carry out sustained acts of civil disobedience against the financial institutions responsible for our debacle. The banks and Wall Street, which have erected the corporate state to serve their interests at our expense, caused the financial crisis. The bankers and their lobbyists crafted tax havens that account for up to $1 trillion in tax revenue lost every decade. They rewrote tax laws so the nation’s most profitable corporations, including Bank of America, could avoid paying any federal taxes. They engaged in massive fraud and deception that wiped out an estimated $40 trillion in global wealth. The banks are the ones that should be made to pay for the financial collapse. Not us. And for this reason at 11 a.m. April 15 I will join protesters in Union Square in New York City in front of the Bank of America. “The political process no longer works,” Kevin Zeese, the director of Prosperity Agenda and one of the organizers of the April 15 event, told me. “The economy is controlled by a handful of economic elites. The necessities of most Americans are no longer being met. The only way to change this is to shift the power to a culture of resistance. This will be the first in a series of events we will organize to help give people control of their economic and political life.” (Click here for the rest)

The secret words are Act and Up

WHEN CROWS DEVELOP OPPOSABLE THUMBS HUMANITY IS TOAST

Regular readers know that here at Doc40 we have an enduring interest in the crow family. Their use of tools was a quite sufficient source of fascination, but now New Scientist tells us they have the basics of very un-avian socialization they really need watching. In LA I observed them daily, but now I’m in Brighton they are much less in evidence because seagulls rule bigtime.

“Angry ravens might kick and chase each other, but if they are close allies they make up afterwards. Plenty of primates and other mammals reconcile after a conflict, but previously no birds were known to do so, says Orlaith Fraser of the University of Vienna in Austria. Monitoring a group of seven captive ravens (Corvus corax), Fraser and colleague Thomas Bugnyar found that pairs of birds were likely to be more friendly to each other if they had fought each other in the previous 10 minutes. "It wasn't just standard friendly behaviour," Fraser says. Rather the ravens sat touching each other, and sometimes touched their beaks together or preened each other. Ravens are not tactile like primates, so sitting in contact is a strong social signal. "That's very good evidence for reconciliation," says Filippo Aureli of Liverpool John Moores University in the UK. Comparing animals' typical behaviour with the behaviour they display in the minutes immediately after a fight is a "well-established method" to look for such behaviour, he adds. Ravens that had squabbled were more likely to reconcile if they were allies. "These are valuable partners who share food and support each other in fights," says Fraser."Many animals have mechanisms for maintaining valuable relationships," says Phyllis Lee of the University of Stirling, UK. Social animals that can recognise other individuals and form long-term relationships with them are most likely to be able to reconcile, she says. Fraser and Bugnyar previously showed that ravens sometimes console group members who have lost a fight.”

Click here for Two Gallants

TOYS TO SHAPE A CHILD’S FUTURE

To be a fucking janitor?

BUT REMEMBER LADIES…

GRATUITOUS BARDOT

THIS BLOODY FOOL WOULD START WORLD WAR III IF HE THOUGHT IT WOULD GET HIM ON TV

I can only despair of these wretched fundamentalist Christians ever approaching a common humanity or acquiring the slightest basic respect for the sensibilities of others or belief systems that fail to match their own benighted ignorance. The last time this vicious idiot attempted to burn a Koran Barack Obama had a quiet word with him. This time he just went ahead and damn the consequences.

“KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (Reuters) - At least 10 people have been killed and 83 wounded in the southern Afghan city of Kandahar, officials said on Saturday, on a second day of violent protests over the burning of a Koran by a radical fundamentalist Christian in the United States. A suicide attack also hit a NATO military base in the capitalKabul, the day after protesters over-ran a U.N. mission in the northern city of Mazar-i-Sharifand killed seven foreign staff, in the deadliest attack on the UN in Afghanistan. Some protesters in Kandahar carried white Taliban flags and shouted slogans including "long live the Taliban" and "death to America." In rioting that lasted hours, they smashed shops, burned tires and vandalized a girl's high school. Two of the dead were Afghan policemen, an official said. The violence is the worst in Afghanistan for months, and comes as the country gears up for the first stage of a years-long security handover to Afghan troops, and after the commander of U.S. and NATO forces in Afghanistan, General David Petraeus, delivered an optimistic assessment of progress in the war. The attacks were driven by anger at the actions of extremist Christian preacher Terry Jones who supervised the burning of the Koran in front of about 50 people at a church in Florida on March 20, according to his website.” (Click here for more)

Click here for Julie Driscoll

The secret word is Imbecile

THE SOLAR SYSTEM ENERGY RIBBON?

The following weird but fascinating tale comes from io9.

“The Interstellar Boundary Explorer discovered a strange barrier of energy and particles that surrounds the solar system. Recently scientists have isolated the ribbon of energy, but questions remain. The heliosphere, the bubble of energy provided by the sun which envelops all the planets in the solar system, was known to block cosmic rays coming in from the rest of the universe. It seems that it doesn't do so alone. The Interstellar Boundary Explorer (IBEX) orbited earth, in an attempt to map the edges of the solar system. The maps it brought back show that there is a specific energy barrier wrapped around the solar system. IBEX scientists have looked over maps made by the mission, and have managed to chart the shape of this huge ribbon of energy. The IBEX used cameras that were sensitive to energetic neutral atoms, instead of photons, to focus on the boundary of the bubble of energy around our solar system. The heliosphere is puffed up, to a large degree, by the high-energy particles that shoot out of the sun. The ribbon appears to stretch down and wind around the heliosphere like stripes on a candy cane, and then move on. There's no word, now, on how the 'ribbon' of energy was made. Scientists believe that it is a result of the heliosphere interacting with the magnetic field created by the galaxy, but don't know specifics. The unexpected finding leaves people with a clearer view of what the edge of the solar system looks like, even if no one knows why it looks that way.”

HERE KITTY, KITTY! (I couldn’t resist)

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 90

DON'T YOU MISS THE 20TH CENTURY?

SUNDAY BREAKFAST

“As we kissed in the wild blazing night time, I remember her whispering yes.” I happened across an unexpected Bob Dylan live clip from 1966 of the song "I Don’t Believe You (She Just Acts Like We Never Had Met)" and, aside from posting a link and hoping that it stays up long enough for everyone to watch it who wants to, it took me back, way down the trail of time, back to all those Sunday mornings after all those Saturday nights when one woke in a haze of pain to an almost unknown morning companion who was often wondering the same as you were, and the width of the destroyed bed became a gulf of perception, a misapprehension on some lost highway of lust and romance, a hungover void of comprehension without coffee, comprehension, and certainly not a bloody Mary. Or maybe not. Maybe the lady had a sense of humor. Maybe she had a pint of scotch in her bag. And of course, one time – or maybe more than once – you would encounter the love of your life, but like the saying goes, “You have to be kissed by a lot of frogs before you turn into a prince.”

Click here for rare Japanese-hosted Bob. Quick, before Sony takes it down.

The secret word is Comedown

MARILYN SEZ...

“Or you could take a few Nembutal and sleep until Monday.”

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Rover Frozdick was a serious Ingmar Bergman fan. 

GRATUITOUS ARMADILLO

REMEMBER THE COCAINE SUBMARINE?

Years ago we ran the story of the cocaine smuggling submarine that was found in a forest in Ecuador. Now, after all this time, we have a breakdown of its construction and capabilities.

“With a crew of four to six, it has a maximum operational range of 6,800 nautical miles on the surface and can go 10 days without refueling. Packed with 249 lead-acid batteries, the behemoth can also travel silently underwater for up to 18 hours before recharging. The most valuable feature, though, is the cargo bay, capable of holding up to 9 tons of cocaine—a street value of about $250 million. The vessel ferries that precious payload using a GPS chart plotter with side-scan capabilities and a high-frequency radio—essential gadgetry to ensure on-time deliveries. There’s also an electro-optical periscope and an infrared camera mounted on the conning tower—visual aids that supplement two miniature windows in the makeshift cockpit.” (Click here for more)

Click here for Ringo

The secret word is Snorkel

THE CAT WITH FIVE EARS

What can I say except it’s from the Rianovosti website in Russia…

“A biologist from Voronezh found a cat with five ears in the street and brought it home to study and perhaps breed. "The cat has two normal ears, two extra ears are turned 180 degrees and there is a tiny fifth ear," said Vladimir Obryvkov of the Voronezh State University of Agriculture. The scientist, who has been studying animal anomalies for years, took the cat to X-ray its unusual ears but decided to take her home to his children. Obryvkov said that the cat named Luntya also has big paws but her behavior does not differ from that of normal cats. He also said that he wants to mate his new pet with a four-eared cat living in Vladivostok to create a new breed of these fluffy animals.”

And talking of Russia…

ALL THE FUN OF RUSSIAN ROULETTE AND NONE OF THE DEATH

DON'T YOU MISS THE 20TH CENTURY?

YOUR PHONE IS WATCHING YOU

All I can really hope is that one day they will drown in their own data.

"Your cell phone company knows everywhere you go, twenty-four hours a day, every day. How concrete is this fact for you? It's very concrete for Malte Spitz, a German politician and privacy advocate. He used German privacy law — which, like the law of many European countries, gives individuals a right to see what private companies know about them — to force his cell phone carrier to reveal what it knew about him. The result? 35,831 different facts about his cell phone use over the course of six months. As the German newspaper website Zeit Online reports: This profile reveals when Spitz walked down the street, when he took a train, when he was in an airplane. It shows where he was in the cities he visited. It shows when he worked and when he slept, when he could be reached by phone and when was unavailable. It shows when he preferred to talk on his phone and when he preferred to send a text message. It shows which beer gardens he liked to visit in his free time. All in all, it reveals an entire life. To show just how extensive this data is, Spitz chose to make it all available to the public; Zeit Online used it to prepare a remarkable interactive map which animates Spitz's movements, moment by moment, over the course of half a year. It's correlated with information Spitz willingly posted on the web, and, according to him and the newspaper, is remarkably, eerily accurate. Try it out.” (Click here for more and links.)

Click here for Lou

The secret word is Shadow

LETTER FROM TOKYO

Our good friend Yukiko writes…

"After 3.11, it's as if something has changed in Japan forever although it may be only in my consciousness. The blackouts, which they execute from time to time, makes me wonder we really need to go back to that excessively well organized society in which trains come every 3 minute without delay, things are delivered the next day of order, illuminations are so elaborately beautiful, etc. etc. All that highly comfortable and convenient life was standing on the anxiety of the people who lived near the Fukushima Atomic Plant and who now are not allowed to go back to their town to look for bodies of their family.

"Today Mr. Nicolas Sarkozy, the leader of a country with 58 nuclear reactors, came to Japan to discuss Fukushima Daiichi. Since 3.11 an average day of the Japanese starts with yet another unpleasant news about yet another unpleasant number about yet another radioactive substance which was detected at yet another place. What we now have is a quiet panic. A psychologist was saying on TV that a human being can react to the danger correctly, but not to the anxiety. The monster is becoming increasingly smarter and now stretching its hand to the sea, so eagerly wanting to contaminate it with the radioactive water which is constantly leaking from an unidentified place. As you so wisely pointed out when it happened, this is a global crisis and in the long run many people in the world may pause, regardless of whether they should, before eating the fish on his/her plate wondering if it's really safe."

HELTER SKELTER WILL COME AGAIN (You have been warned)

(Or is it our April Fools gag?)
Click here for Charlie

GRATUITOUS RACHEL RILEY

This will only make sense to Englishmen who watch afternoon TV.