"YOU ARE ORDERED TO REMOVE THE MONKEY’S DIAPER"

I must also treat this as found poetry, although maybe less soothing than the above because these Transport Security Administration instructions for service animals, even as we speak, are in some sub-viral circulation on the web and on cable news. As paranoid, I must wonder why. Is there such a thing as cognitive-cacophony?

“When a service monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,
The service monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.
The service monkey handler should carry the monkey through the walk through metal detector while the monkey remains on a leash.
When the handler and service monkey go through the walk through metal detector and the detector alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.
Since service monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the service monkey.
Security Officers have been trained to not touch the service monkey during the screening process.
Security Officers will conduct a visual inspection on the service monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.
The inspection process may require that the handler to take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.”