WHEN DOES THE SHIT STOP?

Now Ahmad Chalabi is screwed, and might take Rummy down with him. How long, I keep asking myself, can this administration last? It’s unreal. Even Nixon would have been drinking heavy by now.

WE DON’T KNOW SHIT

This is real long, but I couldn’t resist it. The piece is by Jonathan Isbit and forwarded by our favorite southern belle.

The term "appendicitis" was coined in 1886 by a Harvard anatomy professor named Reginald Heber Fitz. Most people assume that the disease has always afflicted humanity. But actually, it's only been around for about 150 years - and only in the western world. Why did it suddenly appear? And why only in the West? And what causes appendicitis? Ask any gastroenterologist these questions and you'll get the same answer: "Nobody knows." A number of other colon and pelvic diseases also got their start toward the end of the nineteenth century - including diverticulosis, colon cancer, inflammatory bowel disease, and prostate and uterine disorders. The medical profession responded by devising ever more sophisticated surgical techniques to remove the diseased organs. Once again, having no inkling of the cause, they ruled out any means of prevention.In the 1970s, a British surgeon named Denis Burkitt, who had practiced medicine in Ugandafor twenty years, reported a remarkable absence of these ailments among the people of Africa. The same diseases that afflict African-Americans in large numbers were curiously absent in the land of their ancestors. Further research by epidemiologists showed a similar immunity in Asian countries, especially the rural areas. And once again, on moving to the West, these ethnic groups quickly became just as prone to western diseases as the rest of the population. Dr. Burkitt believed that two aspects of the Africans' lifestyle protected them from colon ailments. First, their diet contained higher levels of fiber. And second, they used the natural squatting posture for bowel movements. Western researchers immediately latched onto the first factor, preferring to ignore the second one...that the true culprit may actually be the modern commode. Diet may have little or nothing to do with these diseases.

Historically, human beings have always squatted for bodily functions. Every infant instinctively uses this method until he is forced to sit on a potty. Most of the adults in the world continue to use squat toilets all their lives. It was only about 150 years ago that the "porcelain throne" came into widespread use. It was basically a fad that started in England and quickly spread throughout the western world. No country wanted to appear backward and uncivilized, and no one at the time realized what the medical consequences might be. Even if they happened to be aware of the drawbacks of this new, contrived method of evacuation, they were unwilling or unable to break the Victorian taboo surrounding the subject. As the fad continued to spread, doctors noticed a mysterious upsurge in colon, bladder, and reproductive diseases. The medical profession was caught in a conflict of interest. Since treatment was becoming so lucrative, they had little motivation to explore the cause or to find means of prevention. How does the modern commode contribute to these diseases? There are two basic kinds of damage. The first comes from pressure on the pelvic floor from chronic straining in the sitting position. Over time, the pelvic floor "descends," stretching and injuring the nerves that supply the bladder, the prostate and the uterus. The result is that these organs become dysfunctional and prone to disease. The second type of damage is caused by fecal stagnation, from incomplete evacuation. A polluted colon is prone to cancer, diverticulosis, appendicitis, colitis and irritable bowel syndrome. The following explanation of appendicitis answers the questions with which this article began: The appendix is attached to the cecum, at the beginning of the colon. When fecal matter gets lodged in the appendix, it hardens, causing the appendix to suffocate and die. This only happens to users of the modern commode, for two reasons: The cecum cannot be fully evacuated in the sitting position. It needs to be squeezed empty by the right thigh while squatting. Pushing down with the diaphragm in the sitting position can force waste matter into the appendix. On a squat toilet, you don't hold your breath or push downwards. The posture itself effortlessly generates the required pressure for expulsion. The appendix was not "poorly designed" - contrary to what is taught in medical schools. Like the rest of the colon, it was designed with squatting in mind.
http://naturesplatform.com

And while we’re in the bathroom, the following comes from both some girl and Keith Oberman

A toilet to keep men in line. Or rather, a gadget that attaches to the toilet. The ghost-shaped device (why a ghost?) sits under the toilet rim and if the seat is lifted, chastises in a stern female voice. "Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up”... The device has sold 1.6 million units in Germany. (The land that gave us Zyklon B)

OUTSOURCING

I have a pleasant piece of fluff in this weeks LA CityBeat with a fab illustration.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=933&IssueNum=50

CRYPTIQUE – U bend.

WATCH OUT FOR JIM BATH

Sometime around soon you’ll be getting a tad tired of the excuse that there ain’t much of a blog because I’ve had a large hard day tending the obscene science fiction or the paid diatribing, and my resources are depleted. Unfortunately that’s the story today. And the truth. It’s 2.30 in the LA AM and I’m going to do this, and then fall into the couch and watch The Hulk which I understand is crap, but haven’t seen it and I figure that’s all I’m fit for. I would complain how Belle de Jour seems to fix renounced her pornographic content since she got a book deal, but I think I’ll leave that until tomorrow.

For those of you to whom this is meaningless...
http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com

Fortunately kaymo has a major heads ups for us all on a new player from the toxic murk of our presidents past...

It seems that James R. Bath is coming back into the spotlight. Google his name for a refresher if you need. Try this url for some good pointers..

http://www.bulatlat.com

Jim Bath and Dubya were coke snorting, Texan drinking buddies back in their National Air Guard days, flying in that champagne unit... It seems that Bath's name was airbrushed out of the info Bush released to the 9/11 comish. Michael Moore's film Fahrenheit 911 charges this was because Bath was Bush's connection to the Bin Laden family and their money. They invested in Arbusto etc.

Do you notice, though, how much time and effort is being expended on getting GW fucking B out of office, when we could be doing so many, much nicer things?

AND...

Oh yeah, and the new email address is – byron4d@msn.com. I kinda like MSN except for the damned butterfly that flaps when anything is going on. It’s starting to irritate me. Unfortunately MSN won’t let me garbage their corporate logo.

CRYTIQUE – Sanders the Chicken is dead.

GLIMPSE THE PROCESS

Okay, so here’s the truth. I don’t have a single thought in my mind except those that are essential to survival. (That’s for the benefit of my varied editors.) The reason is that, as I think I’ve already mentioned, I am totally submerged in Slide On The Run #11, and am attempting to create the best inter-galactic, inter-species, inter-entity, pirate rape and pillage orgy that has ever been committed to the page. Okay? And it is not as easy as it sounds, if I am to shun all porn cliches with the possible exception of fluid mess. Can I do for literature what S. Clay Wilson did for comics? Do I want to? And also I wonder about introducing mugwumps. And then I realize that I’ve stated all this publically, so now I’m under even more pressure to excel.

(Or is this all just a degenerate’s tease?)

FROM THE EMAIL

munz sends a link to the Top Ten Alternet Conspiracy Theories. (I must confess, though, I have given up all conspiracy theories for the 21st century. (Except of course my own,)
http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=18735

CRYPTIQUE – I do, however, like to pop packing bubbles until people get irritated and ask me to stop.

Please use the new email address -- byron4d@msn.com

MONDAY, MONDAY...

And really not a great deal to say since I'm working on the long overdue episode of Slide On The Run, and still trying to work out the ramifications of what went down with Colin Powell on TV yesterday. Are the bastards actually fighting among themselves to the knife?

(And if you haven't seen Slide On The Run, just slide over to Funtopia on the right and check it out.)

CRYPTIQUE -- Big T's dream?