Tuesday, June 19, 2007

POPE SAYS BABIES CAN GO TO HEAVEN



BUT DEFERS DECISION ON BUNNIES

The world rapidly becomes inhabitable. Species hurtle into extinction. The computers are down on the International Space Station. The Greenland Pump may soon cease to function. Nuclear weapons slyly proliferate. In Africa, ten year-olds with AK45s snort cocaine and gunpowder and fight endless, shapeless, wholly pointless wars of asymmetric attrition. Disguised reptiles may govern the United States of America. A month or more ago MrMR sent me the following, but I never posted it. I figured it was too whacked even for Doc40, but in the intervening time, I changed my mind. It’s amazing how time flies when the world is losing its reason.

“The Vatican has determined that limbo does not exist, opening the gates of heaven to babies who die unbaptised. A member of a high-level theological commission made the announcement with the approval of Pope Benedict XVI. "The many factors that we have considered ... give serious theological and liturgical grounds for hope that unbaptised infants who die will be saved." The medieval concept of limbo as a place where unbaptised infants spend eternity but without communion with God seems to reflect an "unduly restrictive view of salvation," the document says. The thought that stillborn babies, for example, would be relegated to a kind of no-man's-land in the afterlife tormented generations of Catholic families. The idea of limbo - from the Latin for "edge" - was meant to address the paradox that unbaptised babies could not go to heaven because their original sin had not been expunged, but nor should they go to purgatory or hell. In 1984, when Benedict headed the Vatican's doctrinal enforcement body as Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, he said he was "personally" in favour of scrapping the 13th-century notion, which he termed a mere "hypothesis". He has approved the document drafted by the International Theological Commission, the panel's secretary told reporters, adding however that its conclusions were not to be considered Roman Catholic Church dogma.”

The secret word is Dementia

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You won't be in limbo, pal. You and your whole family will be in HELL!

Anonymous said...

Oh Goody. Much more fun with those long-tailed, partying red devils.

Anonymous said...

I think our other anonymous friend was referring to Heaven being knee-deep in screaming babies and dirty diapers ~ if indeed, there are any diapers in Heaven!

Or maybe he was being serious, it all sounds like my idea of Hell anyway.

--the anon atheist.