This less than sharp picture is of what was called The Johnny Seven One-Man Army, and I discovered it in accidental passing being offered on sale for some absurd amount of money on eBay. And why, you might ask, is Farren posting a picture of The Johnny Seven One-Man Army that he discovered in passing being offered on sale for some absurd amount of money on eBay? The answer, my friend, is that The Johnny Seven One-Man Army was about the apex in toy guns -- almost guaranteed to prevent a young lad turning homosexual in later life -- and, when I was around eight or nine years old, I wanted one in the worst possible way. It was big. On the scale of an 8 year-old, it was as big as Rambo’s M60, and an obvious prepubescent penis substitute. The Johnny Seven One-Man Army was a combined grenade and missile launcher and bipod machine gun, with a detachable cap pistol, and, if I recall rightly, a rubber bayonet. I believe pacifist mothers cited it during the War on War Toys that was waged in the 1960s. Needless to say the purchase price was way beyond my lousy pocket money, and my mother definitely didn’t think I needed a combined grenade launcher, machine gun, pistol, and bayonet. Thus I settled for a Dan Dare sparking ray gun, but it was no substitute.
I really only mention this as another possible reason so many of my g-g-generation verged on the insane.
The secret word is Padderblap*
*an explanation will be offered if requested.
I really only mention this as another possible reason so many of my g-g-generation verged on the insane.
The secret word is Padderblap*
*an explanation will be offered if requested.
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7 comments:
INSANE! WHO ARE CALLING FUCKING INSANE?
ya know, sometimes a johnny seven one-man army is just a johnny seven one-man army. does EVERYTHING have to be about the penis with you boys?
as for padderblap, consider explanation requested.
"Padderblap!: was the onomatopoeic SFX made by the machine gun on the turrent of a Sherman Tank in a 1960s war comic that always stuck in my memory. IT seemed worthy of Lichtenstein.
Mick,The johnny 7 came out in '67 or '68 so this means that you were playing with it at about the same time that you were shaggin'Germaine Grear.You must have been one hell of an 8 year old!David
I guess it just goes to show how the memory can distort, fragment, and reposition. I can only conclude that my mind has somehow flipped the Johnny 7 with some other toy firarm of my infant desiring. Maybe the clockwork burp gun.
(And there is of course a perpetual part of me that is an amazing -- and amazed -- 8 year-old.)
Interesting how many future peace freaks were military & toy gun aficonados as pre-teens. Me included.
I'd comment more, but the limo's coming and I have to go meet Arianna, Bill Maher and Al Franken for drinks and cocaine.
Have to agree with munz - I ended up very active in the peace movement!
For some freaky reason my parents bought me one. It was all I could do to lift the thing.
If it's any consolation, it wasn't anywhere near as much fun to own as you might imagine.
Very popular with the local kids, though - if my parents wouldn't let me out to play, they'd ask if the gun could come out instead!
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