SCI-FI POLICE STATE (Part 1)

Our pal Hipspinster sent this over. I don’t know whether to be disturbed or envious.

“The line between what's real and what's not is thin and shifting, and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has decided to explore both sides. Boldly going where few government bureaucracies have gone before, the agency is enlisting the expertise of science fiction writers. Crazy? This week down at the Reagan Building, the 2009 Homeland Security Science & Technology Stakeholders Conference has been going on. Instead of just another wonkish series of meetings and a trade show, with contractors hustling business around every corner, this felt at times more like a convention of futuristic yarn-spinners.” (Click here for more.)

In the email that brought the link, Hipspinster asked “why didn’t they call you?” My first response was “why indeed.” I sure as hell could think up a totally fiendish, fear driven, and wholly ruthless state security machine. It would be almost as much fun as a sci-fi writer inventing his or her own religion and taking over the minds of movie stars (such as they are.) But then it occurred to me that’s exactly why I wouldn’t be invited. Too gleefully overt about stuff they still like hide with euphemism. And, of course, I’d never get a security clearance. It’s a damned shame Phillip K. Dick isn’t alive to see this.

The secret word is Oprichnina

SCI-FI POLICE STATE (Part 2)

Ummm…Gore Police? Is this Renquist territory or what? Tokyo seemed okay the last time I looked.

(That’s the Tokyo Tower in the background on the left. I once played a very prestigeous rock & roll gig there.)

FELINE POLICE STATE

THUG-DREAMS (or what the fuck does Dick Cheney want?)

As the dreadful Dick Cheney travels the length and breadth of the media, justifying his unique brutality and corporate totalitarianism, he is never asked what he really wants. The general assumption – unless Cheney is trying to promote his way out of an international atrocity trial – is that he wants rewrite history to his advantage. Yet, this idea would seem to be based on that very shaky supposition that Dick Cheney needs to be liked, and we have seen scant evidence of any such need. We do know that – in addition to being America’s Dark Lord of the Sith – he is also a money grubbing oaf, laughing all the way to Halliburton’s Swiss banks, and he might attempting to guarantee himself top dollar on the neocon lecture circuit. Another option might be that making these insane speeches creates at least the illusion that he still wields power.
And illusion – more precisely delusion – may well be the ultimate key to understanding Dick. We all remember the study that revealed how conservatives are more fearful than lefties and have much worse nightmares. Even a cursory examination of Cheney’s record reveals he’s about as delusional as Eric Cartman, and massively more dangerous. We also know he’s ultimately paranoid. He’s the one with the secret bunkers, the hazmat suits, and the man-sized safe in his office. He started out as a Watergate gopher, hand reared by Richard Nixon, and grew more reptilian from there on out. Cheney is not Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity. They’re just media snakes, in it for the Murdoch bucks, spinning black helicopter/FEMA camp shtick for the rabid rubes, but not believing a word of. Cheney, however, is a true believer. He’s also been there and done it.
As rumors spread about how Cheney has a network of loyalists inside the Pentagon and the intelligence community, I begin to wonder if maybe the Cheney dream is one of actually returning to power. Brought back, not by popular demand, but by a military coupe or putsch, which – when coupled with the immortality shots – will enable him to reign forever and ever. Now I’m not saying this is actually going to happen. I’m merely speculating on what might the true nature of Dick Cheney’s dream. On the other hand, though, Dick Cheney once dreamed of having his very own war for fun and profit, and that unfortunately came to pass.

The secret word is Megalomania
The secret message is 53746f702068696d206265666f7265206865206b
696c6c7320616761696e21

"I am not delusional!"

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

Uncle Bill wants to go home now, but the alien spacecraft is stuck in traffic.

WE SO TOTALLY DON’T CARE BUT…

Hipster snob that I am, I have never watched American Idol so I don’t know how all this works, but the following does strike me as a tad odd, okay?

The Arkansas News online boasts – UPDATE: Told ya so! You heard it here first. It was the Arkansas vote!!! AT&T confirms 38 million votes from Arkansas alone. There were 100 million votes total. Congratulations Kris and…

But Wikipedia tells me the population of Arkansas is only 2,855,390 (2008 est.)
Ummm…what the fuck?

CONSTRUCTIVE USES FOR BARNEY

Pausing for a moment in our observation of a planet on a fast elevator to hell, we look, for a moment, at the foolishness of cocaine dealers. The following was lifted from Snopes.com.

• In 1998 at a post office in Texas, a drug-sniffing dog detected two pounds of cocaine hidden inside a talking Barney doll which was being shipped to Waltham, Minnesota. Officers of the law followed the package to its destination, where they arrested three men on federal charges of conspiracy to possess, and intent to distribute, cocaine.
• In 2001 in Charleston, West Virginia, four members of the same family pled guilty to federal charges of conspiring to sell cocaine and two prescription painkillers that police had discovered stashed in a Barney doll.
• In 2004 in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, more than $2,000 was found inside a plush stuffed Barney doll at an apartment inhabited by a family with five children. The kids' grandmother and their mother's boyfriend were charged with possession and intent to distribute cocaine, and the youngsters were taken into the care of the state's Department of Children, Youth and Families. 13 grams of cocaine were discovered inside the stuffed animal, more than 30 grams of cocaine in a flower pot, and 5 grams of marijuana in a dresser drawer.

The secret word is Busted

GIRLS TOGETHER IN SHIRTS

This too might require explanation. (Or maybe not.)

THE HORRORS OF SOCIALISM

The lesbian fetish porn image posted above is not intended to be enjoyed by the prurient. It’s only provided as a highly accurate graphic representation of how the Raving Looney Shotgun Hillbilly Jesus Party imagines the horrors of socialism. For them it is the worst possible scenario and the repository of all evil. They also believe that the American people totally agree with them – to the point that the Republican National Committee think they can make points by issuing an edict that requires public speakers to call the Dems the “Democratic Socialist Party.”
The weird part is that the American people seem to be going in the totally opposite direction. A recent Rasmussen poll shows – quite amazingly – that “U.S. adults under 30 are approximately evenly divided on the question of socialism-versus-capitalism. According to a telephone poll by 33 per cent of the under-30’s prefer socialism, 37 percent prefer capitalism, and 30 per cent are undecided.”
Just to add to my amazement, back at the White House – supposedly the heart of Marxist darkness under the tyrannical reign of Barack Obama – our President shuns embracing even the mildest of socialist tactics despite the overwhelming evidence that only a revised from of socialism will save this country. (And I use the term “revised” advisedly.) No single payer healthcare, no end to the wars, not even partial nationalization of the banks, no WPA energizing of arts and media, no visible public works programs, and no marijuana legalization. Is this nation becoming too weird to survive?

Click here for the Rasmussen numbers.

The secret word is Starveling
The secret message is 446566696e6974656c7920746f6f207765697264
20746f20737572766976652e

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Each morning Cousin Beowulf would play the national anthem on the Theremin to greet the day with suitable patriotism.

THEY DON'T STAGE SHOWS LIKE THIS ANY MORE #15

ENTER THE WOLFRAM

“It is Wolfram Alpha, Mr. President. It is the online knowledge base that will conquer the world... And I can walk!”

Maybe the good doctor can walk but, after a brief shakedown of Wolfram Alpha, I was not impressed. It made calaculations, but seemed to know very little, and, on a number of questions it refered me to Wikipedia. I may be biased, but my work does not include too many numbers calculations and Wolfram will not, as yet, pull me away from Google. Click here for a more professional report. (Both Aeswiren and Faux Smoke sent links.)

The secret word is Glove

DOWD FUCKS UP

Just as I came round to thinking that Maureen Dowd was maybe okay after all, she goes and blows it by cutting, pasting, and generally ripping off some other writer’s work. Okay so Mo has more excuses than a pimp going to jail, but fuck, this is just plain sleazy, and I don’t want to hear how she’s under pressure. She’s paid more than enough in these suicidal times to do it right. I can only agree with John McQuaid on HuffPo. “Sunday's incident gives us an additional window on the slapdash way a MoDo column is assembled. Dowd could be using the vast resources and reach of the Times and her substantial writer's gifts to produce a great column. That's the whole idea, right?” (Click here for his whole post.)

SPACE OPERA

THIS IS A STICK-UP!

Munz sent us this Sunday gem.

“WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. (AP) -- Authorities in North Carolina say a store owner and a patron thwarted a teen accused of trying to carry out a robbery by concealing a banana beneath his shirt to resemble a gun. Winston-Salem authorities say 17-year-old John Szwalla entered the Internet cafe Thursday and demanded money, saying he had a gun.
The owner, Bobby Ray Mabe, said he and a customer jumped Szwalla, holding him until deputies arrived. While they waited, Mabe says the teen ate the banana. Mabe says deputies took pictures of the peel. Forsyth County Sheriff's office spokesman Maj. Brad Stanley says deputies joked about charging Szwalla with destroying evidence. Szwalla faces a charge of attempted armed robbery. Jail officials say he doesn't have an attorney.”

The secret word is Mellow
The secret message is 5965732077652068617665206e6fe280a6

PROLETARIAT PINUP #11

“Puritanism, in whatever expression, is a poisonous germ. On the surface everything may look strong and vigorous; yet the poison works its way persistently, until the entire fabric is doomed. Prostitution, although hounded, imprisoned, and chained, is nevertheless the greatest triumph of Puritanism.” – Emma Goldman

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 56

Although actually a big fan of chaos – and also of disappearing into space – I could hardly resist this one. And, of course, the evil aliens (or whatever turns out to be responsible for the chaos) are once again targeting attractive human women. (And I notice the Earth is also upside down -- in the conventional sense.)

WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Gil Kerlikowske, the new director of the White House Office of Drug Control Policy sat down with The Wall Street Journal for his first interview since his confirmation last week. It was published two days ago. Here’s an excerpt…

“The other part of breaking down the barrier is to completely and forever end the war analogy, the war on drugs. Since I used to stand in front of the helicopter for President Nixon who brought the term in vogue, it's fitting that I'm almost back in the same spot and trying to put an end to the war analogy. Regardless of how you try to explain to people it's a war on drugs, or a war on a product, people see a war as a war on them, a war on individuals and we're not at war with people in this country so I think we need to be more comprehensive. If we're not successful in improving on the addiction rate we have in this country and how we get people treated for drugs and return them back to the streets, it paints a very dark picture in the future, especially with the economy where it is.” (Click here for the whole thing.)

It all seemed like a breath of fresh air until the obvious question came up…

WSJ – Do you support legalization?
Kerlikowske – No. I've never advocated legalization and certainly the president has made it clear that's his position.

And, with that, it all went back to square one.

The secret word is Rebranding
The secret message is 53616d65206f6c6420736f6e672e20

Barbara Birdfeather – RIP

FLIPBOOK FETISH

Click here for one of the best flip books I’ve ever seen. (Supplied by our pal Wendy)

A BRIEF HISTORY OF RABBIT EARS Part 1

Gloria Steinem wearing the classic Hefner-Rotwang BE Mk1

VIRTUAL APOCALYPSE

Ever wonder what might happen if a massive online-world game like World of Warcraft came to an end? This what went down with a game called Tabula Rasa. The online world was shut down in on Feb 28, 2009 when, hit by the hideous economy, it failed to attract enough subscribers to survive, but at least it went out with a bang.

“So many players got wind of the impending badass finale that the servers slowed down under the load. You got trippy time distortions, teleportation, and direct communications from the actual Creator. Some players tried to predict what exactly would happen when the event began, and where it might be focused. Some seemed to want closure, frantically attempting to obtain the final pieces of certain equipment sets or to finish uncovering all areas of the world. By the afternoon, the West Coast server Hydra was the last server standing. As more and more of its citizenry logged on for the last hurrah, and foreign players from dead servers poured in to squeeze a few more hours out of the game, it became increasingly congested, buggy, and lag-ridden. The intended scenario was indeed playing out not just in the game and the fiction but as a metagame: the active duty population swelled as humanity prepared to make its final stand.” (Click here for more)

THE MIND BOBBLES

This has to be the most absurd toy to be marketed this century.

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

A reality string becomes tangled aboard the alien space craft as it transits a brane, and Uncle Bill is less than happy with the result. The bubble helmet is too small. His leg hurts, and who the hell is the child wearing what are clearly a pair of original Rotwang rabbit ears?

SPACE OPERA

THE LAST SANE REPUBLICAN

This is Charlie Crist. He’s the governor of Florida, he has a hot wife, and is maybe the last sane Republican left standing as the Raving Looney Shotgun Hillbilly Jesus Party has their way with the rump of the GOP. Crist has a 66% approval rating in his state, and is now preparing to run for the Senate. He has broken with extreme right orthodoxy on the environment, and how to deal with the economy. To the horror of the Shotgun Hillbillies, he has even appeared with Barack Obama in support of the economic stimulus plan. Taking all this into account, it will be interesting to watch how swiftly he’s destroyed, or maybe forced to become a Democrat.

THE NEW FACE OF SPOCK

Star Trek (and therefore Spock) is always with us. It has been with us for all of my adult life. Even though it’s been a while since we had a new TV series, the current and heavily promoted movie keeps the franchise alive. Our pal Hipspinster has told us all (maybe more) that we need know about the movie. Click here.

The secret word is Ears
The secret message is 4c697665206c6f6e6720616e642070726f737065
722e

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

The designer of the Frozdick family’s rabbit ears was the notorious Dr. Rotwang who once made ears for Adolf Hitler. (See Monday)

THE CULMINATION OF A VERY BAD IDEA

THE FALL OF MISS CALIFORNIA

There’s little to beat the satisfaction of watching the enemy fuck up, especially when the fuck up is all down to the enemy’s own rank stupidity. Thus the case of the born again, but increasingly disgraced Miss California, Carrie Prejean, makes me exceedingly happy. Okay, so you want to insert a wingnut ringer into a major beauty pageant so she can spout homophobia every chance she gets. The trick is to make damned sure that your ringer is on solid ground with all of the pageant rules and regulations, and maybe even send in some mean and burly, Robert Mitchum-looking continental op to make damn sure the dingy broad hasn’t been contravening said rules by posing topless or participating in any other forms of porn, and getting gestapo intense on her ass if she doesn’t check out. I mean, isn’t all this cloak and Uzi stuff what fascists find fun? But, as John Belushi used to put it, no. The fools pick this Prejean idiot to be their shill and she’s hung out to dry in a matter of days on the strength of half a breast and a pair of pink panties. And then, just to cement the absurdity, Ms Prejean spouts the following Pentecostal psychobabble when confronted with her past.
“I felt as though Satan was trying to tempt me in asking me this question. And then God was in my head and in my heart saying, ‘Do not compromise this. You need to stand up for me and you need to share with all these people ... you need to witness to them and you need to show that you’re not willing to compromise that for this title of Miss USA.’ And I knew right here that it wasn’t about winning. It was about being true to my convictions.”
The Raving Looney Shotgun Hillbilly Jesus Party advances to oblivion.

The secret word is Implant
The secret message is 41206c6f6e67207269666c652c20612074616c6c
206275696c64696e672c20616e64206120666966
7468206f66204a61636b2044616e69656c73

THOUSAND-HAND GUAN YIN

As a departure from out usual pervert cynicism, click here for something that’s simply nice. (And nicer when you’re high.) Supplied by Marjorie, who passes on the startling information that “all 21 of the dancers are complete deaf-mutes, relying only on signals from trainers at the four corners of the stage.”

John Michell --RIP

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 55

We haven't done this in while but who could resist "new frontiers of lust" or "deviate desires"?

DEATH OF JOURNALISM (continued)

Following on from Friday’s post, here’s what Frank Rich wrote about the death of journalism in yesterday’s New York Times. I would note, however, that Frank still has a job and a paper to give him one, and maybe that’s why he soft-pedals the idiocy of management…

“IF you wanted to pick the moment when the American news business went on suicide watch, it was almost exactly three years ago. That’s when Stephen Colbert, appearing at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, delivered a monologue accusing his hosts of being stenographers who had, in essence, let the Bush White House get away with murder (or at least the war in Iraq). To prove the point, the partying journalists in the Washington Hilton ballroom could be seen fawning over government potentates — in some cases the very “sources” who had fed all those fictional sightings of Saddam Hussein’s W.M.D.

“Colbert’s routine did not kill. The Washington Post reported that it “fell flat.” The Times initially did not even mention it. But to the Beltway’s bafflement, Colbert’s riff, went viral overnight ultimately to have a marathon run as the most popular video on iTunes. The cultural disconnect between the journalism establishment and the public it aspires to serve could not have been more vividly dramatized.
“The bad news about the news business has accelerated ever since. Newspaper circulations and revenues are in free fall. Legendary brands from The Los Angeles Times to The Philadelphia Inquirer are teetering. The New York Times Company threatened to close The Boston Globe if its employees didn’t make substantial sacrifices in salaries and benefits. Other papers died. The reporting ranks on network and local news alike are shriveling. You know it’s bad when the Senate is moved, as it was last week, to weigh in with hearings on “The Future of Journalism.” (Click here for more)

The secret word is Obsolete

MONDAY MOVIES

For a start, here’s the full version of Barack Obama’s address at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. Despite yesterday’s debate, I can’t help but like the guy. He’s gotta be the funniest president since Jack Kennedy. Click here.

And click here for the Stephen Colbert appearance at the same dinner three years ago. (See above)

Click here for a German banking commercial that maybe says more than it intended. (Supplied by Noudela)

Click here for Rock Hudson and Bea Arthur singing “Everybody Today Is Turning On” (Supplied by HCB)

And, finally, click here for the trailer to the highly steampunk movie “9”

EVEN ADOLF HAD HIS LIGHTER SIDE

Two images of Hitler since Friday? People will call us the History Channel.

SUNDAY MORNING

For some deep and atavistic reason, Sundays, more than any other seventh part of the week, make me think about breakfast. At other times, I have posted images of fried eggs, sausages, bacon, tomatoes, and heaven only knows what else straight from the hot grease. This image is not quite the same thing. I guess I posted it for the aesthetics, as I am most unlikely ever to breakfast on grapes, rice cakes(?), and a glass of milk. But, then again, the young lady is equally unlikely to sit upon my table.

The secret word is Grapefruit

POT AND THE PRESIDENT

The following arrived from our pal Roldo…

“I find myself moved to explain to you why I've absented myself from the Doc40 club lest any misunderstanding cast a shadow on any future crossing of paths.
Fact is I totally disagree with you on two most salient points - which doesn't mean I think you're wrong! shit, I've found myself wearing my sphincter for a collar too many times to fall into that but I do see these two scenes quite the opposite to your view.
The really important one is the legalization of Marijuana, which I think would be the worst possible disaster. I'll attach a blog I wrote under one of my many altered-egos in case you're interested in my take on that subject.
My primary disagreement with your stance is the idea that the taxes from Pot would be used to cure economic ills whereas I figure they'd far more likely go buy more bombs for the War On Whatever and pepper-spray for the folks at home.
The second thing is Obama. Man, I just can't buy his act. Everything about this guy screams of the grifter. I'd love to trust him...people I admire and respect trust him - you. Ed Sanders, lots of others...but I just can't.
So I split Doc 40 'cause it seemed impolite to argue with you in your own house as t'were - its your blog site, not a forum - and since these are matters dear to my Head, I figured best if I remove me... like it says in the Texts, "One should never be where one does not belong". But don't, please, take this as any animosity towards you personally. Fuck - I genuinely hope you're right.”

After Faux Smoke’s input of yesterday it does seem like it’s forum time at Doc40, and that’s how it should be. Debate is always better than a soapbox. It also saddens me that our good friend Roldo should feel he needs absent himself from the general fun because he disagrees with some of the positions I adopt.
As to trusting Barack Obama, I have to say again that the brevity of a blog does allow the essay that I probably need to write about my reservations about Obama, but also his basic strengths that I sensed as early as the 2004 Democratic Convention. I can only reply that, first and foremost, Barack Obama is a politician, a lawyer, and a capitalist, and I have lived far too long in this wicked world to thrust any single part of that particular combo. On the other hand, I would have unreservedly supported Jack the Ripper if I thought he had a chance of unseating the asinine evil of Bush-Cheney and would prevent it being perpetuated by the blundering McCain and the idiot-psychotic Palin.
Trust is an odd concept. Would I trust (say) Bob Dylan, Miles Davis or Keith Richard? I’ve always trusted them to play the music and keep me entertained. But that’s the limit of it. In the same way, I trust Obama to attempt to clear up the mess left by blind cowboy madness of George Bush. My expectations are limited, but as long as he doesn’t seriously let me down, he will have my support. He is not a socialist or a revolutionary. I don’t expect him to be either. After the last eight years, an adequate and intelligent president will be more than enough.
I don’t perceive the aura of the hustler, but maybe Roldo has seen something I haven’t. Barack Obama is the product of democracy. As a process for selecting leaders, democracy is certainly better than the right of inheritance, or simply slaughtering all your rivals to power. And democracy is a popularity poll, and Americans apparently like their leaders with a certain trace of the hustler and the used car dealer. Maybe I’m naïve, but if Obama is the ultimate grifter, my hopes are still he’s grifting for us.

The question about marijuana is more complicated. I may be overly hopeful, but I feel that dope is closer to becoming legal right now than it has ever been in my lifetime. I sense the nation is undergoing a long overdue sea change. Gay marriage is suddenly happening, almost without comment, one state at a time, and pot could easily go the same route, while an Obama-led Fed looked the other way. If such is the case, though, we have to face some hard realities. Legal marijuana is a very cheap crop to produce. Prices running to hundreds of bucks an ounce are the product of illegality. Legalization could cut prices by as much as 90% and I’m sure there are growers in Humboldt and BC who would hate to see that happen.
I support legalization and taxation – while far from perfect – as the best chance of maintaining some kind of level playing field for both consumer and supplier – and maybe doing something positive for all the victims of prohibition and the War on Drugs. I would fight like a maniac to keep Pfizer or RJR from taking over the dope supply, but, at the same time, I have major misgiving about some nebulous condition of decriminalization, which seems tailor-made for racketeering and abuse. I’d like to see dope treated as a commodity no different from gin or gasoline (which are both taxed and regulated), and if those taxes go to military industrial repression, it’s a citizens responsibility to stand up and scream. I could, of course be wrong, but, hell, if legal dope doesn’t work out we can always turn to weed bootleggers without losing a damned thing.
So come back Roldo. Argument is strength.

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

Clint in his Bruce Weber period.

THE PRINTED WORD WILL BECOME THE DOMAIN OF PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO READ THE PRINTED WORD

Our pal Faux Smoke writes, “What's your take on all this e-reader/e-book business of late? Think it'll be the item that saves an industry, or just is all of this just a marketing tactic?" (Click here for a really dumb puff piece on the Kindle.)

My reply has to be that I don’t believe that the Kindle or any similar device will save book, newspaper, and magazine publishing as so many desperately hope. The e-book has never caught the public imagination and I feel it’s highly unlikely this will be changed, even by more evolved user-friendly hardware. The truth is that books have a special affinity for those who read them. They not only have a total functionality, but a unique warmth -- a smell even -- that cannot be replaced by a machine. A book also fills the very important need for collectable objects that reflect the owner’s tastes, ideas, and personality. In the necessary brevity of a blog, I can’t reason the case at the maybe needed length. All I can say is look to the rise of vinyl audio in the age the mp3 by way of a model.
Much of the problem in book publishing is rooted in the cowardice and stupidity that has increasingly gripped the mass publishing industry. Hundreds of viable authors have been dropped, while multi-million dollar advances were handed out to literary nonentities like Sarah’s Silverman and Palin (and OJ bloody Simpson.) The corporate thrust has been to sell books to the illiterate, avoiding the real truth that mass publishing (with the exception of the occasional big score like Harry Potter) is mutating into a highly plural, boutique business. Major publishers have also traditionally been the bankers of literature, who provide the capital so authors can write the books and -- like the actual banks -- they are now failing in that function.
Newspapers and magazines are also suffering from their own management failures, despite how much they bleat about being ruined by the internet. They have a huge internet readership but are unable to create a business model that can capitalize on it. They have done nothing to address the almost total loss of revenue from classified advertising caused by Craig’s List, and, worst of all, they have failed to cater to their loyal core of readers by dumbing down content, reducing it to sound-bite sized idiocy, and failing to recognize that city-centric papers are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. They cut the pay of the trivial, but lay off the profound.
I could go on for pages about all this, especially how I grieve for the destruction of the alternative press that I help to create forty-some years ago. Just take this as a first salvo to which we will have to return.
Faux Smoke ends his letter – “Hope for a sequel in the Renquist quartet sooner than later? Sooner? Please say the word is good... or tell me who I need to start sending death threats to.” My answer is that the word is currently not good. Another freak LA heat wave makes it hard to be an optimist and, as I sweat, I wonder if I am unemployable, if I’ll even survive. But, damn it, I continue to write. I’ll work on a list of worthy candidates for death threats.

The secret word is Evolution

DOWD?

You wanna read some Maureen Dowd while the New York Times is still around? Lately I’ve been kinda off Ms. Dowd. She’s been too much at odds with my beliefs and tastes, and feuding with people I tend to go along with, but this column is kinda fun. Click here

SPACE OPERA

Supplied by Valerie. They call them Starbucks.

MORE CROWS

These are by the late lamented Edward Barker

THE CROWS HAVE IT

Here at Doc40 we have a special affinity with crows. Dr. Crow is our logo, and crows rule the wildlife on the street where we live. I am well aware that they are expert tool-users, and have often noticed the local crow crew giving me a look that indicated the food chain might well be differently linked if the black birds only had opposable thumbs. Now Aeswiren sends us this report that confirms many of our suspicions and even a few of our paranoias.

"In the past, people thought birds were stupid," laments the aptly named scientist Christopher Bird. But in fact, some of our feathered friends are far cleverer than we might think. And one group in particular - the corvids - has astonished scientists with extraordinary feats of memory, an ability to employ complex social reasoning and, perhaps most strikingly, a remarkable aptitude for crafting and using tools.
Mr. Bird, who is based at the department of zoology at Cambridge University, says: "I would rate corvids as being as intelligent as primates in many ways."
The corvids - a group that includes crows, ravens, rooks, jackdaws, jays and magpies - contain some of the most social species of birds.” (Click here for more and some fairly amazing videos)

The secret word is Tweet
The secret message is 54686520626972642069732074686520776f7264

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

Aboard the alien spacecraft, Uncle Bill reads his Manifesto to the Cosmos.

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

(Lifted from No Smoking In The Skull Cave)

NOW EAR THIS

In a new book, Van Goghs Ohr: Paul Gauguin und der Pakt des Schweigens (Van Gogh's ear: Paul Gauguin and The Pact of Silence), German scientists Hans Kaufmann and Rita Wildegans tell the story of what happened when Vincent lost his ear Christmas Eve 1888 in the French city of Arles. According to the official version, the Dutch painter cut off his own ear with a razor after a row with Gauguin in 1888. Van Gogh then walked into a brothel and presented the severed ear to a prostitute called Rachel before going home to sleep. But, after ten years of research, the scientists say they are sure it was painter Paul Gauguin who cut off his friend and colleague's ear after a fight. (Click here for more)

The secret word is Slice

"But we're already dead, you dig? Now we can do any damn thing we like, and totally get away with it."

Pic lifted from Tom Sutpen

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? (Leave those buffalo alone)

Another emergency message has come in from Francis at the NRDC…

“Right now, newborn wild bison -- better known as buffalo -- are grazing under their mothers' watchful eyes on the lush Horse Butte peninsula near Yellowstone National Park in Montana. But on May 15, this pastoral scene could turn ugly if the government begins hazing the buffalo back into the park with helicopters, horses and ATVs, as they did last year at this time. If this operation proceeds, some buffalo could die, including young calves and pregnant cows. Please speak out immediately to stop the government's annual hazing operation.This wildlife tragedy replays almost every year on Horse Butte -- a birthing ground for the buffalo. First, a helicopter invades the stillness, circling low to scare wild buffalo out of the woods, so that government agents on ATVs and horses can chase them back to Yellowstone. With no time to rest or nurse during this relentless chase, some calves collapse and even die of exhaustion before ever reaching their grazing grounds deep within the park. The saddest part? This senseless tragedy is unnecessary. The justification for hazing and killing buffalo is that they could spread the disease brucellosis to domestic cattle. That is why buffalo are generally not welcome outside Yellowstone Park in Montana -- and why thousands have been slaughtered or hazed back into the park in recent years. But the fact is, there has never been a documented case of brucellosis transmission from buffalo to cattle in the wild. More to the point, there are no cattle at all on Horse Butte, so there is absolutely no reason to haze and endanger Yellowstone's wild buffalo. So please, help us give newborn buffalo a better chance at survival this spring. As living links to the great herds that once thundered across America's plains, Yellowstone's buffalo are a national treasure. Please join me in urging our government to protect them -- instead of subjecting them to needless suffering. Tell the Secretary of Agriculture to intervene right away and prevent the hazing of wild buffalo in the weeks ahead.” Click here to register your protest.