Friday, March 03, 2006

























THE QUESTIONS BECOME KINDA ESOTERIC WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TESLA
In whatever free time (there’s a laugh) I find for myself, I’ve been working on a poetry piece about Nicola Tesla for a special event. (More about that at a later date.) And work on Tesla has, of course, involved staring in awe at pictures of his energy engines. Then Valerie sent me this pic of the new Barcelona Water Company building (right), designed by Jean Nouvel, (in which, she says, she "has fallen hopelessly in love") and I couldn’t help thinking how it could so easily hide Tesla’s Wardenclyffe communication tower (left)

The secret word is Power


"Collins...Joan Collins."




TALES OF THE DECADENT EIGHTIES
(More on Ned Sublette – see Thursday Feb16th. )
The following comes from our old pal Rob Patterson

Mickey, my lad,
I'm now a regular guzzler of Doc 40. And I knew Ned pretty well in my NY days, still do.
You write: "Can't say I knew the guy beyond being drunk in the same joint, but I was aware that he was putting a post-punk, country cowboy hat on gay, just like Kinky Friedman had put one on Jewish." It implies that he is/might be gay... not that there's anything wrong with that.
In my note back from Ned yesterday after I wrote him with congrats, he noted that he celebrated 25 years of marriage last summer to the lovely and talented Constance Ash, a fantasy author whose "Horsegirl" trilogy I enjoyed reading as much as those Mick Farren sci-fi books (and where's another one ya lazy sod!? I want more!). And I know both you and I were soused at those downtown/Loisada joints but can't recall a single time that Ned ever was. And he never once hit on me. Neither did you as I recall (although I did once get the eye from Seymour Stein and on another occasion his ex-wife Linda tried to pick up my friend Maryann and I one night at The Ritz). Ned is a man of many talents. Lubbock born and New Mexico reared, he's done all kinds of cool stuff. Cribbing from the bio for his wickedly cool album in 1999, Cowboy Rumba, which intersticed C&W and Latin music: 'In the downtown New York new music scene of the 70s and 80s, he worked with artists ranging from John Cage to La Monte Young to Glenn Branca to Peter Gordon's Love of Life Orchestra. In 1982, he started The Ned Sublette Band ("It wasn't country punk," he recalls, "because all the musicians could really play") with a gig at CBGBs.'
I think the "it wasn't country punk" line was in part from my including him in a Musician story I did in '82 where I spent a good part of the intro saying "Don't call it country punk..." and then what did the dink editing it do but headline it "Country Punk." Duh.... He also winced when I suggested he call his music "Salsa Ranchero," which I still think fits well. Next time I visit my storage space I'm gonna have to pull out my old Ned tapes of way cool unreleased stuff, especially to hear my Sublette fave, "Cattle Mutilations." More bio: 'By the mid-80s he gravitated toward the salsa scene ("It was the best music in town," he says) and his inspirations grew increasingly Latin. In January 1990, he traveled to Cuba for the first time and was inspired to co-found Qbadisc, the first American record label dedicated to marketing contemporary Cuban music in the U.S. He was soon recognized as a major U.S. advocate for Cuban music, introducing American audiences to Cuban artists as diverse as Los MuZequitos De Matanzas and NG La Banda as well as Celina González, Issac Delgado, Carlos Varela and Orlando "Maraca" Valle. In 1998,he also produced the outstanding debut album by the New York-based Puerto Rican group Viento De Agua, and for seven years, he served as senior co-producer of Afropop Worldwide, heard over Public Radio International.' He also recently published "Cuba and Its Music: From the First Drums to the Mambo" (Chicago Review Press), which the NY Times gave a rave review to, calling it as essential as Hugh Thomas's epic history "Cuba." And if my memory serves me correct - I'm cc'ing Ned here so he can correct me - Willie had either been rumored to record or had recorded "Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly..." as far back as the late '80s. And yes, few more deserving of some mailbox money than Ned.
Back to work.
Rob



BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.
I also had a riff in last week's LA CityBeat on cyber comments...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3356&IssueNum=142
And also a introduction to a band called the Wicked Tinkers...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3346&IssueNum=142

The secret word is Petard

Thursday, March 02, 2006



MEANWHILE, IN AMERICA...
DETROIT -- A 12-year-old visitor to the Detroit Institute of Arts stuck a wad of gum to a $1.5 million painting, leaving a stain the size of a quarter, officials say. The boy was part of a school group that visited the museum on Friday, officials say. They say he took a piece of Wrigley's Extra Polar Ice gum out of his mouth and stuck it on Helen Frankenthaler's "The Bay," an abstract painting from 1963. "Our expectation is that the painting is going to be fine," said Becky Hart, assistant curator of contemporary art. Holly Academy director Julie Kildee said the boy had been suspended from the charter school and says his parents also have disciplined him.

?

"Like someone asked the other day, where, on an MP3 download, do you hide the coded messages from Satan?"

Wednesday, March 01, 2006



THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME
This guy and his kitty live in Nigeria. In all probability they have less than 1% of the material stuff you have. And they are pissed off.


DOC IS BACK...
Easing back into gear after what has been a very gruelling couple of weeks, Doc40 kicks off with a dull but scarey report from Yahoo News sent over by Doug the Bass that more than confirms how our lame-ass President, currently hiding in India, really is running the country into the ground. More catching up to come as my hands and arms recover from typing marathons.


THE SIMPLE LI(F)E 3
As GWB tells us the US economy is doing fine...

WASHINGTON, D.C., Feb 27 (OneWorld) - The average American family has taken a financial tumble and millions in the country go hungry despite President George W. Bush's sunny assessment of the U.S. economy, say federal data and economists. Bush talked up the nation's wealth last week during a speech in Milwaukee. ''We're doing fine,'' he said and described the economy as ''strong and gaining steam.'' Economic growth had clocked a respectable 3.5 percent, unemployment had been held down to 4.7 percent with more than four million new jobs created in the past 30 months, and after-tax income had risen eight percent since 2001, he said.
Within days, however, the Federal Reserve reported that average incomes after adjusting for inflation actually had fallen between 2001 and 2004. At the same time, the number of Americans who need emergency food aid to survive had swollen to more than 25 million even before hurricanes Katrina and Rita struck, the nation's largest network of food banks said in a separate report. Many families continued to struggle in the wake of the 2000 stock market collapse and 2001 recession, the central bank said in its latest triennial ''Survey of Consumer Finances,'' released Thursday. Inflation helped to eat away at the average American family's income, reducing the total to $70,700 in 2004--a loss of 2.3 percent from 2001. That followed a 17.3 percent gain in average incomes between 1998 and 2001 and 12.3 percent in 1995-98, the Fed said. Median family income showed a slight increase of 1.6 percent to reach $43,200 in 2004, up from $42,500 in 2001. Half of all households are understood to stand above, and half to fall below, the median point, which is used to represent the ''typical'' rather than ''average'' family.
Economic analysts said the latest Fed's findings confirmed earlier research showing that the average American family's finances were deteriorating. ''Every American should be able to achieve middle class economic security, a hallmark of national and household stability in this country,'' said Tamara Draut, director of the economic opportunity program at research and advocacy group Demos. ''But the Federal Reserve's findings spotlight trends that are causing economic fragility in today's middle class and are closing the door on low-income Americans.'' The income situation appears to be worsening. Last year proved to be the worst one on record for inflation-adjusted income, said Jared Bernstein, senior economist at the Economic Policy Institute, a Washington, D.C.-based think tank. ''Wages and compensation for the average worker are lagging inflation despite strong productivity growth,'' Bernstein said, citing figures from last month's ''Employment Cost Index'' report from the government's Bureau of Labor Statistics. ''Averaging over all of 2005, real wages fell 0.9 percent--the lowest annual result on record--while compensation's essentially unchanged rate from 2004 provides its worst year on record as well,'' Bernstein added in an analysis of the BLS report. The term ''compensation'' refers to wages plus benefits. Draut, at Demos, said she was worried by the latest Fed report's findings that ''growing numbers of American households face mounting debt and financial instability.''
In particular, more than 76 percent of households carry debt, up since 2001. Of households in debt, the median amount of debt, $55,300, amounts to 128 percent of the median household income. ''A greater number of people reported not saving money in 2004 than in 2001. Only 41 percent save regularly,'' Draut said, citing the Fed's figures. ''That's a foreboding number for a nation with 76 million people reaching retirement age over the next 25 years.'' The Fed found that four in 10 senior citizens older than 75 years shouldered debts in 2004, up from 29 percent in 2001. Americans also have been piling up credit card debt, which grew 10 percent in the median household and 15.9 percent in the average household. Most of the increase occurred in the ''middle class,'' which the Fed defined as the fifth of the population with a median income of $42,500. ''Stagnant wages and skyrocketing healthcare, education and housing costs, plus greater job instability has pushed America's families right to the limit, and they're borrowing on high-cost credit just to make ends meet,'' said Draut. Home equity loans also have become bigger and more common, with many homeowners using the cash-out refinancing to pay down their credit card debts and to recover expenses they can't cover with their earnings, she added. Rising household debt and stagnant real wages sapped median net worth, a tally of assets and liabilities. Median net worth grew by 1.5 percent in 2001-04, down from 10.3 percent in 1998-2001, the Fed report said. The gap between wealthy and poor also has widened, the Fed said. America's wealthiest 10 percent saw their net worth rise by 6.1 percent to an average of $3.1 million while the bottom 10 percent saw theirs fall from zero in 2001 to minus $1,400--meaning they owed this much more than the value of all their assets--in 2004. Data on net worth would have proven even more anemic were it not for big gains in the notional value of real estate--something that, at least hypothetically, boosted homeowners' financial standing, the Fed and analysts agreed.
''Americans are keeping their families afloat by putting their greatest asset at risk,'' said Draut.
Yet they appear to be among the fortunate, according to America's Second Harvest, which supports 50,000 food-aid charities nationwide. More than 25 million Americans were forced to resort to food donations from the organization's affiliates last year, an 8 percent increase over 2001, it said. Nine million children younger than 18 and three million senior citizens stood among the hungry, America's Second Harvest said in its ''Hunger in America 2006'' report. ''About 70 percent of the clients seeking emergency food assistance are living below the federal poverty line,'' the private philanthropy said. ''Nearly 40 percent have at least one adult working in their household,'' it added. Those figures suggest that increasing numbers of working Americans do not earn enough to feed their families.


The secret word is Betrayal



OH YEAH...
DFisherman (see the big comments board) and J are absolutely right. The kid on the bed is Leonard Nimoy in the 1952 movie Kid Monk Baroni.

Thursday, February 23, 2006



AS REGULAR VISITORS WILL KNOW...
For the last few days, I have been laboring in the literary salt mines, and am still in the square- eyed mode. It should ease off in a day or so. (Or I’ll go insane.) So apologies for the lack of solid posts and all the unanswered emails, and, just to keep you amused, here is a fascinating Doc40 puzzle – courtesy of some girl. (And you’ve already been given a clue.)

The question is...Who is the young man sitting on the bed?

The secret word is Exhausted

Tuesday, February 21, 2006


"Some men rob you with a six gun, some with a fountain pen." -- Woody Guthrie

THIS SHIT MUST STOP!
You haven’t seen me much in the last couple of days as I’ve wrapping up a huge and exhausting writing project. However, in one of my TV breaks I heard a Woody Guthrie song – one of his kids' songs "Car-Car" – used on a sports car commercial. (BMW, I think but I was too pissed off to take note.) Woody has been dead since October 1967, but whatever executor cut this deal should probably be taken out on the parking lot and shot.

The secret word is Grrrr

AND SOME HASTY LINKS...
Anyone for Brechtian punk cabaret?
http://www.dresdendolls.com/

Or a piece by our pal Clive Thompson on blog economics from New York
http://www.newyorkmetro.com/news/media/15967/

Or the math of teleportation from Ed B.
http://www.fas.org/sgp/eprint/teleport.pdf

Friday, February 17, 2006



BEYOND BOOZE? WHAT DO THEY MEAN BEYOND BOOZE?

Could sin and nymphomania be a form of rehab? I'll think about this as soon as I get this deadline off my back.

The secret word is Almost

Thursday, February 16, 2006



YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN
In this instance, how Willy Nelson, by recording Ned Sublette’s old tune "Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)" may have assured Sublette of a comfortable old age, and also the pride of having written the first gay cowboy song released by a major recording artist. Back in the 1980s, I used to see Ned Sublette around Lower Manhattan dives like Danceteria, the Pyramid Cocktail Lounge, Tramps, and the Lone Star. I was either in Tijuana Bible with HCB or doing The Last Words of Dutch Schulz with Brother Wayne Kramer, and the places we played were the places he played. Can’t say I knew the guy beyond being drunk in the same joint, but I was aware that he was putting a post-punk, country cowboy hat on gay, just like Kinky Friedman had put one on Jewish. Towards the end of the decade I wandered off to LA and Sublette wandered off to salsa, and that was that, until I picked up the paper and saw Willie had cut his tune and enrolled NS in the Legion of Lucky Motherfuckers.


Like Chuck Berry told us "You never can tell."

The secret word is Dang

AND DANG ME IF I DON'T HAVE A PIECE IN THE NEW LA CITYBEAT (On those pesky Danish cartoons.)

http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3314&IssueNum=141

Wednesday, February 15, 2006












I’ve been wanting to post this cover for a while, but never had even a lame excuse. Would the caption "You are what you shoot!" qualify?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006



I’M SORRY BUT I’M STILL LAUGHING
Okay, so I’ve always loathed the Bush/Cheney administration, but, even if this was Bobby Kennedy, I would be wondering about the thinking behind the first 18 hours spent trying to hush the thing up, instead of calling the cops and reporting an accident. Cheney ever live this down? Oh, I hope not. (And now there's the heart attack.)


Meanwhile, here are last night’s gags from Letterman and Jon Stewart (courtesy of Tim)

"The Late Show With David Letterman" (CBS)
"Good news ladies and gentleman, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction … It's Dick Cheney."
* * *
"We can't get Bin Laden, but we nailed a 78-year-old attorney."
* * *
"Honestly, I don't know what all of the fuss is about. What's more American than shooting your hunting buddy in the ass?"
* * *
"The guy who got gunned down is a Republican lawyer and a big Republican donor and fortunately the buck shot was deflected by wads of laundered cash. So he's fine. He took a little in the wallet."
* * *
"The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" (Comedy Central)
Jon Stewart: "Yes, as you've just heard, a near-tragedy over the weekend in south Texas. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man during a quail hunt at a political supporter's ranch. Making 78-year-old Harry Whittington the first person shot by a sitting VP since Alexander Hamilton. Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird.
* * *
The other player in the drama? Ranch owner and eyewitness Katharine Armstrong.
Katharine Armstrong: "We were shooting a covey of quail. The vice president and two others got out of the car to walk up the covey."
Jon Stewart: "What kind of hunting story begins with getting out of your car? As I sighted the great beast before us, my shaking hands could barely engage the parking brake. Slowly, I turned off the A/C and silenced my sub-woofers…"
* * *
Katharine Armstrong: "A bird flushed. The vice president took aim at the bird and shot and unfortunately, Mr. Whittington was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty well."
Jon Stewart: "Peppered. There you have it. Harry Whittington, seasoned to within an inch of his life.
* * *
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?
Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.
"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."
Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak."
Jon Stewart: "That's horrible."
Rob Corddry: "Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little 'covey' of theirs.
Jon Stewart: "I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob."
Rob Corddry: "Well, whatever it is they do … coo .. they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.
Jon Stewart: "Okay, well, on a purely human level, is the vice president at least sorry?"
Rob Corddry: "Jon, what difference does it make? The bullets are already in this man's face. Let's move forward across party lines as a people … to get him some sort of mask."

And here's the video game (from some girl)

http://dickcheneyquailhunt.cf.huffingtonpost.com/



Doc40 All-Time Icon # 12 – William S. Burroughs

"I may have blown away my wife, but I’ve only ever used a shotgun to make artworks."



"I’m a fucking quail. I’m keeping out of this."

The secret word is Duck

Sunday, February 12, 2006



DICK CHENEY SHOOTS SOME OTHER RICH GUY

Here, just read the story, I’m still laughing my ass off. In the manner of Nelson Munz.
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/article345179.ece

The secret words are Ha-Ha!



MEANWHILE...
NYC is frozen solid and LA bakes and burns in a 90F Red Flag Alert. Who among you would deny the planet’s fucked?

CRYPTIQUE – I’ll get to the hippos later.


AND OH YEAH
My story about political perception was rerun on Smirking Chimp. I always like that.
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/article.php?sid=24792&mode=nested&order=0

Saturday, February 11, 2006

But later things got easier...

THE SIMPLE LI(F)E 2
BUSH EXPLAINING MEDICARE DRUG BILL -- VERBATIM QUOTE
Woman in Audience: "I don't really understand. How is the new plan going to fix the problem?"
President Bush: (verbatim response): "Because the – all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculated, for example, is on the table. Whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those --changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be -- or closer delivered to that has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the -- like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate -- the benefits will rise based upon inflation, supposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those -- if that growth is affected, it will help on the red."
Which really starts me wondering if the fool is actually capable of reading a Teleprompter.
(Sent by Doug the Bass)

The hippos may have to be explained tomorrow.







GAY PENGUINS
For the latest in the ongoing story. And from Al Jazeera, no less. Send by Valerie (why does your email keep coming back)
http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/6A41FF85-C54C-4A5F-9E7C-FF616C070316.htm

The secret word is Preference



The last 48 hours have been, how can I put this, creatively busy. But, I hope, later today, I will catch up with everything including how the White House keeps away dangerous hippos, and the problems of gay penguins -- and, no, I will not work out a Brokeback Iceflow joke.

The secret word is Candy

Thursday, February 09, 2006



MO READIN’ – LA CITYBEAT
My new media column is out today. Primarily about political doublespeak/
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3270&IssueNum=140


THURSDAY IS CULINARY CLIP DAY











The secret word is Bird

Wednesday, February 08, 2006


"I am not Bob Dylan. I am definitely not Bob Dylan."


Doc40 All-Time Icons # 11 – Vincent Price


IF YOU NEED TO ASK THE WAY TO VALHALLA, THE ODDS ARE YOU WON’T MAKE IT THERE
With so much else going, plus all the Brokeback jokes, the story of Jacob Robina has not had quite as much play and might have been expected. According to early reports, this contemptibly sad lone gunman, seemingly a skinhead/trenchcoat mafia spawn, walked into Puzzles Lounge in New Bedford, Mass, first asked if it was gay bar and only then started shooting. Much more than the subsequent car chase, his killing of a cop and companion/hostage(?), and then his own death, the thought refuses to leave my mind that this fool was so unsure about the objects of his lethally phobic hate, he first had to ask. Unfortunately his pathology will probably not be studied the way it should be.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11208324/from/RS.4/



"Ann Coulter said drain the swamp."



ALL JUST HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF
As I still stand in awe muttering "what the fuck, they’re storming the Danish Embassy over cartoons!", I wonder if I’m the only one who remembers from schoolboy history that the 19th century "Indian Mutiny" – that almost lost India for the British and killed hundreds of thousands – actually erupted over pork grease. After the usual colonial tensions rose to a boil (folks just don’t like to be colonized) the ruling Brits (my bunch) introduced the Pattern 1853 Enfield (P/53) rifle. Its cartridge was covered by a greased membrane which was supposed to be bitten off for loading. Rumours spread that the membrane was greased by cow or pig fat, an anathema to both Hindu and Muslim soldiers. With typical upper-class Victorian pig-ignorance, Commander in Chief in India, General George Anson responded. "I'll never give in to their beastly prejudices." And he didn’t. And murderous all hell broke loose.
For chapter and verse...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Mutiny



THE POETRY OF THIS JUSTICE PROVES COMPLEXLY COMPLEX
"LOS ANGELES - A man was sentenced Tuesday to nearly 11 years in prison after pleading guilty to robbing Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis and forcing him at gunpoint to pose for a demeaning videotape as part of an extortion attempt."
For the full, dumb, "couldn’t happen to a more deserving" story...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11234146/


The secret word is Porcine

Tuesday, February 07, 2006





"I have made you an offer you won’t refuse."


THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF GOOGLE
(Or maybe the ten point program? Or maybe the Kryptonization of Earth?)
While we attempt to make up our minds whether Google is the Digital Satan or the Hope of Humanity, its "Ten Golden Rules" make fascinating reading. Pratical utopianism? Maybe, but I still feel reminded of that episode of The Simpsons, "You Only Move Twice" in which Hank Scorpio strives for World Domination from the Dotcom campus of Cypress Creek. Or is that Microsoft?

The most well known is, of course...
Don't be evil. Much has been written about Google's slogan, but we really try to live by it, particularly in the ranks of management. As in every organization, people are passionate about their views. But nobody throws chairs at Google, unlike management practices used at some other well-known technology companies. We foster to create an atmosphere of tolerance and respect, not a company full of yes men.


And for the rest....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10296177/site/newsweek/



MUSTANG, FORD...
The adorable hipspinster tells a vivid tale of driving her mustang across country. (Only her’s was yellow and a convertible) at... http://hipspinster.blogspot.com/

And, by odd synchronicity, Miss Templeton posts at length about Henry Ford. (Plutocrat bastard)
http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/2006/02/man-who-built-americahenry-ford.html



..AND PENGUINS
Doc 40 usually rolls out penguin whacking at Yule for our simple amusement, but it would seem that there are folks out there who take it seriously enough to play versions with blood and without gravity. http://penguin.omnihosts.net/



"Gomez, what did that fool Ann Coulter say about fascism?"

Doc40 All-Time Icons # 11 – Morticia Addams

Monday, February 06, 2006





In the clear air above him, jet aircraft were fucking. Was it a sign he wondered? Had the predictions got the Rapture all wrong? At least it put a new twist on the Mile High Club.



BUT WHAT BETTER TIME TO FIND OUT ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT TINFOIL HATS...
http://people.csail.mit.edu/rahimi/helmet/

Sunday, February 05, 2006


THE SIMPLE LI(F)E
(Observations on the World of W #1.)
The realization came as something of a shock that I had really stopped believing anything that I was told by my television. It crystalized during a recent cable news afternoon, when I found myself looking at an item on this super-MASH the military claim to have in Iraq where they boast "If you arrive alive, it’s 95% certain you’ll survive." (Or some similar Johnny Cochran-style rhyming couplet.) As I watched what was plainly DofD free promo footage, complete with a big shiny CAT-scan machine, a cynical bubble glooped up through the slough of war propaganda, and asked me if I even believed a single word of any of this? And did I care and did it matter? In the White House they’re making it up as they go along, so why should these gosh-wow PR jobs have any relation to reality? Even if there is such a MASH in Iraq, we all know that the poor bastard grunts have spent most of the war walking round in inferior flack jackets and driving Humvees with no underside armor. And if their wives or kids get cancer their lives will be in the hands of some dastardly gov-contract HMO who will start by denying all but the most primitive treatment. The important part, however, is that this was the moment when I found myself advancing into what I understand used to be the old-time, Stalin-style, Ministry-of-Truth totalitarian mindset in which one believed absolutely nothing but the shreds of reality that could be gleaned from reading between the official lines. Hardly an original thought, but a sobering one that I'd reached that point, here in the Land of the Free.

The secret word is Deceive

Saturday, February 04, 2006



Fingers crossed, but I think the alien attack on blogspot is over. (Or maybe it's just a lull.)



AL LEWIS -- RIP

When I lived in NY, back in the roaring 80s, I would often see Al standing outside his restaurant, Grandpa’s on Bleeker Street. Sometimes he could be seen in conversation with Fred Gwynne who also lived in the Village. And that stopped traffic.

The secret word is Gone

Friday, February 03, 2006



THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
I can’t say enough good things about Clive Thompson’s Collision Detection. He comes up with such good stuff. Like the above pic of the dark side of the Moon. Or the news that, "on Feb. 8, the best play in the history of the universe will open in Manhattan: Heddatron. It's an adaptation of Hedda Gabler in which half the parts are played by live robots onstage. The description of the plot, from the theater group's web site: Les Freres Corbuser continues its irreverent massacre of historical icons and academic esoterica by taking on famed playwright Henrik Ibsen, the well-made play, and contemporary issues in robotics. Ibsen is thwarted by August Stringberg and his kitchen slut throughout his fevered struggle to write the great feminist drama, Hedda Gabler, while a contemporary housewife in Michigan is abducted by robots and forced to perform Ibsen's masterpiece over and over again."
http://www.collisiondetection.net/



"Why aren’t you obsessively adoring me any more, you short-attention-span bastards?"


WANNA SEE A CLIP OF THE MC5 FROM LIKE AROUND 1970?
Actually, for you sticklers, it’s the MC4 plus a substitute bass player whose name I don’t recall, but I’m sure Yukiko will tell us. (Link provided by MrMR)
http://www.youtube.com/w/Kick-Out-the-Jams---MC5?v=HRKObNn9TbQ&search=mc5



TODAY BUDDY HOLLY HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 47 YEARS
http://earcandymag.com/gpg-buddyholly.htm

Whoever imagined I'd live so long. I still remember the chill that went through the school when we heard the news. (Oh boy.) The teachers, at least, knew enough to keep quiet.

The secret word is Process

Thursday, February 02, 2006



SO WHAT DID GROUCHO REALLY SAY?
On Tuesday we were discussing the legend of how Groucho Marx supposedly threatened the life of Richard Nixon. MrMR pointed out that it was Abbie Hoffman not Groucho who said "The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon." Which left me in something of a quandary. What had Groucho said that had brought him to the attention of the FBI? Fortunately MrMR then came up with chapter and verse from Paul Krassner...
After our acid trip, I had only a couple of contacts with Groucho.The first concerned a rumor that he had said "I think the only hope this country has is Nixon's assassination.. I wanted to verify whether he had actually said that. "I deny everything", he joked, then admitting he had indeed said it over a luncheon interview with a now defunct magazine, Flash.
"Uh, sorry, Mr. Marx, you're under arrest for threatening the life of the president. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed A Night at the Opera. Here, now, if you'll just slip into these plastic handcuffs...."
I wrote to the San Francisco office of the U.S. Department of Justice, asking about the status of the case against Groucho, particularly in view of the indictment of Black Panther David Hilliard for using similar rhetoric.
For the full story...
http://www.sirbacon.org/4membersonly/groucho.htm

But if you think this was a fiasco of yesteryear, this story is hot of the presses. Seemingly the focus has switched from venerable comedians to schoolboys...
The Secret Service is investigating a seventh-grader who wrote a school essay that authorities say advocated violence against President Bush, talk show host Oprah Winfrey and others. The boy's homework assignment for English class was to write what he would do on a perfect day. In addition to the president and Winfrey, the boy wrote that violence should be directed at executives of Coca-Cola and Wal-Mart, police and school officials said. "His perfect day would be to see the destruction of these people," Schools Superintendent David Raiche said.
The Secret Service investigation is ongoing, but the essay may have been a "cry for help," said Thomas M. Powers, resident agent in charge in Providence. Threatening the president is a felony, he said. Authorities would not identify the boy or his teacher or release a copy of the essay. He was not arrested, police Detective Sgt. Fernando Araujo said. "It wasn't any detailed, minute-by-minute plan," Araujo said. "It didn't meet the criteria for a criminal charge."
The boy has been temporarily barred from school, but as a mental health rather than disciplinary precaution, Raiche said.
but maybe the Feds should also be looking into the actions of politically motived canines.
















(from Doug the Bass)


BUT...

SAPPHO KORNER – RIP
(Sappho was the daughter of the legendary Alexis Korner)

AN OBITUARY FOR STEW ALBERT...
http://www.commondreams.org/views06/0201-24.htm

MEANWHILE
I have a piece in the new La CityBeat on fitness and how to avoid it.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3244&IssueNum=139#

BUT I ALSO HAVE TO CONFESS I FUCKED UP
In the January 5th, issue of LACB, I wrote a cover story on the current condition of the media, (Humanity v Technology). In passing, I mentioned the supposed purchase of the blog bundle Gawker Media by the New York Times. As it turned out this never happened. Turns out the story was a phoney, planted by Russ Smith at NY Paper, but being Xmas and all, I was well suckered. Then Fishbowl LA got all over my ass, but what can you do? They don’t seem to like me too much anyway. JFK always maintained it was better to admit a mistake and move swiftly on. It makes you more endearingly human, as long as you don’t fuck up too much. Unfortunately they no longer teach that JFK class in President School.
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA.com

The secret word is Fool


WANNA WATCH A SPEEDFREAK IN A CAR CHASE?
http://www.baitcar.com/videos/oncoming



Doc40 All-Time Icons # 10 – Gene Vincent and the Bluecaps


("Because I’m the one in the black threads, motherfucker. That’s why.")

Wednesday, February 01, 2006



GROUNDHOG DAY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM
Doug the Bass sent over the following...
"This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall on the same day. As Air America Radio pointed out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog".
And damned droll for the Al Franken Dog and Pony Show except that the State of The Union was yesterday, and Groundhog Day is tomorrow.
http://www.groundhog.org/

The secret word is Phil

Tuesday, January 31, 2006



SOUTH POLE NEUTRINO DETECTOR COULD YIELD EVIDENCES OF STRING THEORY
HCB, who is seemingly concerned that the world (indeed everything) is going to end in 2012 as predicted by the late Terrence McKenna, contributed this link. I am not going to make the wholly preposterous claim that I, in anyway, approach grasping String Theory, but a half-baked non-understanding does yield a highly colorful vocabulary and all kinds of handy excuses for multiple dimensions of reality that are invaluable tools for the science fiction writer and the advanced tinfoil-hat schizophrenic.
http://physorg.com/news10295.html


AND TALKING OF TINFOIL HATS...
Valerie forwards this link to the BBC who report that "the US military seeks the capability to knock out every telephone, every networked computer, every radar system on the planet." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4655196.stm

COGITO ERGO DRUG TRANSIT
I maybe stand corrected. With reference to last Saturday’s "Mad Dog Coulter Post" MrMR writes, "‘Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.’- Abbey Hoffman". So if it was Abbey who made that remark, I have to ask myself what did Groucho say to get the FBI in an uproar.

AND TALKING OF THE FBI,
Some cat called bellaciao figures he or she has all the dope (ahem) on how all the 1960s radicals were really working for the Feds. To which I can only respond by raising bellaciao one whole Grassy Knoll.
http://www.bellaciao.org/en/article.php3?id_article=10052

CRYPTIQUE – The King is never boring.



"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."

(I think I’m now therapeutically working my way through the use of this caption. It will be over soon.)

Monday, January 30, 2006



TALES OF BEATNIK GLORY
Doug the Bass sent over this tale of yesteryear which seemed somehow to align with the sad news that Stew Albert just died of cancer.


HOW HISTORY ALMOST HAPPENED AT THE PAGE THREE
By Dave Frishberg
Around the time I first came to New York, during the late fifties, I got a call from a piano player named Johnny Knapp. He asked if I would be interested in replacing him with the band at The Page Three. It was a two piece band--piano and drums.
"You have to play a continuous show," he told me, "the hours are 9pm to 4am, and the pay is seventy-five a week." I told him I would be interested. The Page Three was a cabaret on Seventh Avenue a block south of the Village Vanguard and, situated there, it was an ideal gig for me. I was living right across the street on Waverly Place, and I could dash out of my apartment five minutes before we hit, and even dash back and forth during intermissions. I took the gig. I thought I was hip, but I wasn't ready for The Page Three. When I first walked in it took me a while to realize that most of the staff and many of the customers were dressed as the opposite sex. It was like a museum of sexual lifestyles. I knew nothing of this. The musical part was equally intimidating. The policy was continuous entertainment, and although we must have been provided with intermissions, my memory is that the drummer Jimmy Olin and I were never off the stage. Six entertainers did three shows a night. They rotated out of a stable of ten so that each entertainer worked four or five nights a week. This was a hell of a lot of music and paper to deal with, since everybody needed rehearsals, and some of the performers came with thick books of arrangements. Kiki Hall was the MC. After the first rehearsal I had to take Kiki's music home and work on it. He did risque patter an naughty lyrics, and there was a lot of ad lib accompaniment and stops and starts, and it all went by very fast. Kiki did Noel Coward material like "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" and "Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs. Worthington," and some Dwight Fiske material, and other stuff I had never heard of. He was ruthless about the piano part, tolerated no mistakes, and demanded extra rehearsals during the week. He was a pain in the ass. The hostess, Jackie Howe, was a solidly built woman with a big friendly smile who always dressed in a tweed business suit. She liked jazz musicians, and she sang obscure songs like "Mississippi Dreamboat" and "Like a Ship in the Night." I was learning a lot of unfamiliar and interesting material.
The rest of the cast was a jumble of characters, talented and untalented: There was Kerri April, who dressed in a tuxedo and made up his face to look like a woman, and Laurel Watson who was a terrific rhythm and blues singer, and Bubbles Kent, a female body-builder who did a strip dance to "Top Hat, White Tie and Tails." Tiny Tim, who was just beginning to do his act, was from time to time a member of the cast, although during the months I worked there he appeared only a couple of nights, subbing for one of the other acts. I remember the occasions chiefly because of the fact that Jimmy Olin and I were able to get off the stage for a cigarette or two while Tiny accompanied himself on the ukelele or whatever it was. Jimmy and I would listen from the front bar, and we had some good laughs, but the fact was that in the context of The Page Three staff, entertainers, and clientele, Tiny Tim didn't seem all that bizarre. The Unique Monique was especially unrewarding to play for. She was a beautiful blonde Viking who was apparently buffaloed by the prospect of singing a song, and seemed to have borrowed someone else's hands and feet for the ordeal. She sang "Guess Who I Saw Today," and at the end she would jab a finger toward some poor guy sitting at a front table and give him the "I saw YOOOOO," on the major seventh, dismally out of tune.
What Jimmy and I looked forward to each night was Sheila Jordan. Sheila was magic. The customers would stop gabbing and all the entertainers would turn their attention to Sheila and the whole place would be under her spell. She was doing "If You Could See Me Now" and "Baltimore Oriole" and some of the other material that she subsequently put on record. During my time at The Page Three I began to grasp the fundamentals of how to be a helpfulaccompanist and by the time I was ready to move on even Kiki Hall was pleased and confident with the way I played for him. In fact when I told him I was leaving to join Sol Yaged at the Metropole Kiki threw a tantrum. "Oh, no! Who's going to play my Noel Coward material?"
"I got just the guy," I told him. About a week earlier I had met the pianist Herbie Nichols, who was a unique jazz stylist, very advanced and adventurous and as unorthodox and original as Thelonious Monk. But I heard Nichols play in a conventional situation, and I immediately understood that this guy could be musical and appropriate in all kinds of contexts. I sounded him about the Page Three. He was interested. Sure enough, Herbie was a hit with the cast, and became the new pianist. I stopped in one night to dig him, and Jackie Howe gave me the big smile and the OK sign. Herbie sounded like a million bucks and everybody was happy. A few weeks later I dropped by The Page Three after my gig. When Kiki Hall saw me he began hissing "It's your fault!", and Jackie Howe had to restrain him from going for my throat. The Unique Monique was on stage, and she seemed even more lost than usual.
"I saw YOOO.." she sang on that dismal major seventh, and the pianist resolved the chord a half step down so Monique's note became the tonic. It was shocking and unearthly, and the customers began to laugh. Monique stumbled off the stage in tears. I looked at the pianist and I didn't recognize him. Herbie Nichols had sent a sub. The other singers were sitting in a booth, all very upset, and the were refusing to go on. Kiki was climbing the walls, and Bubbles Kent had gone home. Sheila Jordan greeted me with a big smile. "You really missed something tonight," she said. "You should have heard Kiki's show. You should have heard "Mad Dogs and Englishmen." It was really out there! You know who that is on piano, don't you? You don't? That's Cecil Taylor," she told me. "Herbie sent him to sub. He's been here all night, played for everyone. You've never heard a show like this in your life." I thought that over for a moment, wishing I had it on tape. Then a thought hit me. "Sheila," I said. "Dare I ask? Could it be true? Did Tiny Tim perform tonight?"
"No, damn it," she said. "Wouldn't that have been priceless." "Well, Tiny Tim doesn't use piano anyway," I said, "so it wouldn't have happened." Sheila said, "Oh yes it would have happened. Cecil would have played. Cecil would have insisted on playing." Herbie Nichols came back the next night and assume all was forgiven. Herbie died not long after this took place.. My path and Sheila's path still cross once in a while, and naturally I go into my Page Three routines. I can still get a laugh with my Monique imitation, but the Page Three survivors list is dwindling, and there are few of us left t share the memories, real and imagined.. But I keep the stories going, and I have been known in weak moments to announce that I once saw Cecil Taylor play for Tiny Tim. So. let the word go forth now that it never happened. Of course, I'm assuming that they never gottogether privately.


STEW ALBERT – RIP


Of course, my own major aventure with Stew was when we disrupted the Frost Show back in the day. For an account...

http://www.arsydd.btinternet.co.uk/frostfreakout.html

The secret word is Mortal

Sunday, January 29, 2006

STOP THE PRESSES!
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT AN ELVIS WEEKEND THIS WAS GOING TO BE
Until I couldn’t stop myself lifting this from Miss Templeton who in turn lifted it from Spicy
McHaggis. But let’s watch how Opus Dei react...

http://www.mond.at/opus.dei/

The secret word is Metaphysical