"Why aren’t you obsessively adoring me any more, you short-attention-span bastards?"

WANNA SEE A CLIP OF THE MC5 FROM LIKE AROUND 1970?
Actually, for you sticklers, it’s the MC4 plus a substitute bass player whose name I don’t recall, but I’m sure Yukiko will tell us. (Link provided by MrMR)
http://www.youtube.com/w/Kick-Out-the-Jams---MC5?v=HRKObNn9TbQ&search=mc5

TODAY BUDDY HOLLY HAS BEEN DEAD FOR 47 YEARS
http://earcandymag.com/gpg-buddyholly.htm

Whoever imagined I'd live so long. I still remember the chill that went through the school when we heard the news. (Oh boy.) The teachers, at least, knew enough to keep quiet.

The secret word is Process

SO WHAT DID GROUCHO REALLY SAY?
On Tuesday we were discussing the legend of how Groucho Marx supposedly threatened the life of Richard Nixon. MrMR pointed out that it was Abbie Hoffman not Groucho who said "The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon." Which left me in something of a quandary. What had Groucho said that had brought him to the attention of the FBI? Fortunately MrMR then came up with chapter and verse from Paul Krassner...
After our acid trip, I had only a couple of contacts with Groucho.The first concerned a rumor that he had said "I think the only hope this country has is Nixon's assassination.. I wanted to verify whether he had actually said that. "I deny everything", he joked, then admitting he had indeed said it over a luncheon interview with a now defunct magazine, Flash.
"Uh, sorry, Mr. Marx, you're under arrest for threatening the life of the president. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed A Night at the Opera. Here, now, if you'll just slip into these plastic handcuffs...."
I wrote to the San Francisco office of the U.S. Department of Justice, asking about the status of the case against Groucho, particularly in view of the indictment of Black Panther David Hilliard for using similar rhetoric.
For the full story...
http://www.sirbacon.org/4membersonly/groucho.htm

But if you think this was a fiasco of yesteryear, this story is hot of the presses. Seemingly the focus has switched from venerable comedians to schoolboys...
The Secret Service is investigating a seventh-grader who wrote a school essay that authorities say advocated violence against President Bush, talk show host Oprah Winfrey and others. The boy's homework assignment for English class was to write what he would do on a perfect day. In addition to the president and Winfrey, the boy wrote that violence should be directed at executives of Coca-Cola and Wal-Mart, police and school officials said. "His perfect day would be to see the destruction of these people," Schools Superintendent David Raiche said.
The Secret Service investigation is ongoing, but the essay may have been a "cry for help," said Thomas M. Powers, resident agent in charge in Providence. Threatening the president is a felony, he said. Authorities would not identify the boy or his teacher or release a copy of the essay. He was not arrested, police Detective Sgt. Fernando Araujo said. "It wasn't any detailed, minute-by-minute plan," Araujo said. "It didn't meet the criteria for a criminal charge."
The boy has been temporarily barred from school, but as a mental health rather than disciplinary precaution, Raiche said.

but maybe the Feds should also be looking into the actions of politically motived canines.
















(from Doug the Bass)


BUT...

SAPPHO KORNER – RIP
(Sappho was the daughter of the legendary Alexis Korner)

AN OBITUARY FOR STEW ALBERT...
http://www.commondreams.org/views06/0201-24.htm

MEANWHILE
I have a piece in the new La CityBeat on fitness and how to avoid it.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3244&IssueNum=139#

BUT I ALSO HAVE TO CONFESS I FUCKED UP
In the January 5th, issue of LACB, I wrote a cover story on the current condition of the media, (Humanity v Technology). In passing, I mentioned the supposed purchase of the blog bundle Gawker Media by the New York Times. As it turned out this never happened. Turns out the story was a phoney, planted by Russ Smith at NY Paper, but being Xmas and all, I was well suckered. Then Fishbowl LA got all over my ass, but what can you do? They don’t seem to like me too much anyway. JFK always maintained it was better to admit a mistake and move swiftly on. It makes you more endearingly human, as long as you don’t fuck up too much. Unfortunately they no longer teach that JFK class in President School.
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlLA.com

The secret word is Fool

WANNA WATCH A SPEEDFREAK IN A CAR CHASE?
http://www.baitcar.com/videos/oncoming

Doc40 All-Time Icons # 10 – Gene Vincent and the Bluecaps

("Because I’m the one in the black threads, motherfucker. That’s why.")

GROUNDHOG DAY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM
Doug the Bass sent over the following...
"This year, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union Address fall on the same day. As Air America Radio pointed out, "It is an ironic juxtaposition: one involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a creature of little intelligence for prognostication, and the other involves a groundhog".
And damned droll for the Al Franken Dog and Pony Show except that the State of The Union was yesterday, and Groundhog Day is tomorrow.
http://www.groundhog.org/

The secret word is Phil

SOUTH POLE NEUTRINO DETECTOR COULD YIELD EVIDENCES OF STRING THEORY
HCB, who is seemingly concerned that the world (indeed everything) is going to end in 2012 as predicted by the late Terrence McKenna, contributed this link. I am not going to make the wholly preposterous claim that I, in anyway, approach grasping String Theory, but a half-baked non-understanding does yield a highly colorful vocabulary and all kinds of handy excuses for multiple dimensions of reality that are invaluable tools for the science fiction writer and the advanced tinfoil-hat schizophrenic.
http://physorg.com/news10295.html

AND TALKING OF TINFOIL HATS...
Valerie forwards this link to the BBC who report that "the US military seeks the capability to knock out every telephone, every networked computer, every radar system on the planet." http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4655196.stm

COGITO ERGO DRUG TRANSIT
I maybe stand corrected. With reference to last Saturday’s "Mad Dog Coulter Post" MrMR writes, "‘Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.’- Abbey Hoffman". So if it was Abbey who made that remark, I have to ask myself what did Groucho say to get the FBI in an uproar.

AND TALKING OF THE FBI,
Some cat called bellaciao figures he or she has all the dope (ahem) on how all the 1960s radicals were really working for the Feds. To which I can only respond by raising bellaciao one whole Grassy Knoll.
http://www.bellaciao.org/en/article.php3?id_article=10052

CRYPTIQUE – The King is never boring.

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."

(I think I’m now therapeutically working my way through the use of this caption. It will be over soon.)

TALES OF BEATNIK GLORY
Doug the Bass sent over this tale of yesteryear which seemed somehow to align with the sad news that Stew Albert just died of cancer.

HOW HISTORY ALMOST HAPPENED AT THE PAGE THREE
By Dave Frishberg
Around the time I first came to New York, during the late fifties, I got a call from a piano player named Johnny Knapp. He asked if I would be interested in replacing him with the band at The Page Three. It was a two piece band--piano and drums.
"You have to play a continuous show," he told me, "the hours are 9pm to 4am, and the pay is seventy-five a week." I told him I would be interested. The Page Three was a cabaret on Seventh Avenue a block south of the Village Vanguard and, situated there, it was an ideal gig for me. I was living right across the street on Waverly Place, and I could dash out of my apartment five minutes before we hit, and even dash back and forth during intermissions. I took the gig. I thought I was hip, but I wasn't ready for The Page Three. When I first walked in it took me a while to realize that most of the staff and many of the customers were dressed as the opposite sex. It was like a museum of sexual lifestyles. I knew nothing of this. The musical part was equally intimidating. The policy was continuous entertainment, and although we must have been provided with intermissions, my memory is that the drummer Jimmy Olin and I were never off the stage. Six entertainers did three shows a night. They rotated out of a stable of ten so that each entertainer worked four or five nights a week. This was a hell of a lot of music and paper to deal with, since everybody needed rehearsals, and some of the performers came with thick books of arrangements. Kiki Hall was the MC. After the first rehearsal I had to take Kiki's music home and work on it. He did risque patter an naughty lyrics, and there was a lot of ad lib accompaniment and stops and starts, and it all went by very fast. Kiki did Noel Coward material like "Mad Dogs and Englishmen" and "Don't Put Your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs. Worthington," and some Dwight Fiske material, and other stuff I had never heard of. He was ruthless about the piano part, tolerated no mistakes, and demanded extra rehearsals during the week. He was a pain in the ass. The hostess, Jackie Howe, was a solidly built woman with a big friendly smile who always dressed in a tweed business suit. She liked jazz musicians, and she sang obscure songs like "Mississippi Dreamboat" and "Like a Ship in the Night." I was learning a lot of unfamiliar and interesting material.
The rest of the cast was a jumble of characters, talented and untalented: There was Kerri April, who dressed in a tuxedo and made up his face to look like a woman, and Laurel Watson who was a terrific rhythm and blues singer, and Bubbles Kent, a female body-builder who did a strip dance to "Top Hat, White Tie and Tails." Tiny Tim, who was just beginning to do his act, was from time to time a member of the cast, although during the months I worked there he appeared only a couple of nights, subbing for one of the other acts. I remember the occasions chiefly because of the fact that Jimmy Olin and I were able to get off the stage for a cigarette or two while Tiny accompanied himself on the ukelele or whatever it was. Jimmy and I would listen from the front bar, and we had some good laughs, but the fact was that in the context of The Page Three staff, entertainers, and clientele, Tiny Tim didn't seem all that bizarre. The Unique Monique was especially unrewarding to play for. She was a beautiful blonde Viking who was apparently buffaloed by the prospect of singing a song, and seemed to have borrowed someone else's hands and feet for the ordeal. She sang "Guess Who I Saw Today," and at the end she would jab a finger toward some poor guy sitting at a front table and give him the "I saw YOOOOO," on the major seventh, dismally out of tune.
What Jimmy and I looked forward to each night was Sheila Jordan. Sheila was magic. The customers would stop gabbing and all the entertainers would turn their attention to Sheila and the whole place would be under her spell. She was doing "If You Could See Me Now" and "Baltimore Oriole" and some of the other material that she subsequently put on record. During my time at The Page Three I began to grasp the fundamentals of how to be a helpfulaccompanist and by the time I was ready to move on even Kiki Hall was pleased and confident with the way I played for him. In fact when I told him I was leaving to join Sol Yaged at the Metropole Kiki threw a tantrum. "Oh, no! Who's going to play my Noel Coward material?"
"I got just the guy," I told him. About a week earlier I had met the pianist Herbie Nichols, who was a unique jazz stylist, very advanced and adventurous and as unorthodox and original as Thelonious Monk. But I heard Nichols play in a conventional situation, and I immediately understood that this guy could be musical and appropriate in all kinds of contexts. I sounded him about the Page Three. He was interested. Sure enough, Herbie was a hit with the cast, and became the new pianist. I stopped in one night to dig him, and Jackie Howe gave me the big smile and the OK sign. Herbie sounded like a million bucks and everybody was happy. A few weeks later I dropped by The Page Three after my gig. When Kiki Hall saw me he began hissing "It's your fault!", and Jackie Howe had to restrain him from going for my throat. The Unique Monique was on stage, and she seemed even more lost than usual.
"I saw YOOO.." she sang on that dismal major seventh, and the pianist resolved the chord a half step down so Monique's note became the tonic. It was shocking and unearthly, and the customers began to laugh. Monique stumbled off the stage in tears. I looked at the pianist and I didn't recognize him. Herbie Nichols had sent a sub. The other singers were sitting in a booth, all very upset, and the were refusing to go on. Kiki was climbing the walls, and Bubbles Kent had gone home. Sheila Jordan greeted me with a big smile. "You really missed something tonight," she said. "You should have heard Kiki's show. You should have heard "Mad Dogs and Englishmen." It was really out there! You know who that is on piano, don't you? You don't? That's Cecil Taylor," she told me. "Herbie sent him to sub. He's been here all night, played for everyone. You've never heard a show like this in your life." I thought that over for a moment, wishing I had it on tape. Then a thought hit me. "Sheila," I said. "Dare I ask? Could it be true? Did Tiny Tim perform tonight?"
"No, damn it," she said. "Wouldn't that have been priceless." "Well, Tiny Tim doesn't use piano anyway," I said, "so it wouldn't have happened." Sheila said, "Oh yes it would have happened. Cecil would have played. Cecil would have insisted on playing." Herbie Nichols came back the next night and assume all was forgiven. Herbie died not long after this took place.. My path and Sheila's path still cross once in a while, and naturally I go into my Page Three routines. I can still get a laugh with my Monique imitation, but the Page Three survivors list is dwindling, and there are few of us left t share the memories, real and imagined.. But I keep the stories going, and I have been known in weak moments to announce that I once saw Cecil Taylor play for Tiny Tim. So. let the word go forth now that it never happened. Of course, I'm assuming that they never gottogether privately.

STEW ALBERT – RIP

Of course, my own major aventure with Stew was when we disrupted the Frost Show back in the day. For an account...

http://www.arsydd.btinternet.co.uk/frostfreakout.html

The secret word is Mortal

STOP THE PRESSES!
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT AN ELVIS WEEKEND THIS WAS GOING TO BE
Until I couldn’t stop myself lifting this from Miss Templeton who in turn lifted it from Spicy
McHaggis. But let’s watch how Opus Dei react...

http://www.mond.at/opus.dei/

The secret word is Metaphysical

ANOTHER ELVIS PRESLEY WEEKEND
Yesterday marked the 50th (oh god!) anniversary of the release of Heartbreak Hotel, which was, I guess, above all, the single piece of music that most changed my life, set me on the road to perdition and made me what I am today. The lyric was no poetry, but had a cinematic connection that was right on the neuron. I got the picture. A detailed Edward Hopper, with dirty windows, torn fly-blown blinds, and corroded iron fire escapes. I knew the neon sign had one letter burned out or slowly flashing. It set in motion a lifelong investigation of the skid-row, red light districts in multiple dimensions and other galaxies, all with the same monstrous reverb. Some fools didn’t like the reverb. Some still don’t. They took it off on one of the recent remixes. They complained it swamped the record. Bullshit. Down with the sub-verbal, it’s all about the echo. The echo made it clear all Heartbreak Hotel was The Word. An encyclical from the deepest coyote vaults of Hillybilly Hell, where misery was delivered by Hank Williams in a long black Cadillac, Peggy Sue had a pistol in her mouth, and Jerry Lee Lewis was waiting at the end of the road. Heartbreak Hotel was the electric portal to the rock-goth section of the fun park where Robert Johnson already waited at the crossroads, and that would become populated by everyone from Screaming Jay Hawkins to Rocky Erikson .

My own unworthy but live version of the song appears on the recently released "To The Masterlock."
http://www.captaintrip.co.jp/egs.html

http://www.headheritage.co.uk/unsung/review/1434

But the entire theme and subworld is the most fully explored (the unkind might say too fully) in the novel "Jim Morrison’s Adventures In The Afterlife." Here’s an excerpt...
http://ebooks.palm.com/product/book/excerpt/983?book=Jim_Morrisons_Adventures_in_the_Afterlife:_A_Novel

The secret word is Bellhop.

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."

MAD DOG COULTER
The above is the third time I’ve used the same caption, and I started wondering if maybe I was overworking it. I was still highly amused by my own visual riffing, but maybe I was also smoking too much dope. Then I heard how, during one of her overpaid speaking gigs, Ann Coulter had told a Philander Smith College audience that more conservative justices were needed on the Supreme Court to change the current law on abortion. "We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee." (Stevens being one of the court's most liberal members.) I’m sure if I’d made such a remark, I’d probably have the FBI, all over my ass – just like when, back in the day, they busted Groucho Marx after describing Nixon as "the only dope worth shooting" – but our Annie seems exempt. Later in the lecture she stated that the crack cocaine problem ‘has pretty much gone away." To which I can only respond, "The problem’s gone away, darling? What happened? Did you cop some crank?"

The secret word is Skeletal

ACTIVIST ALERT
(Special Post From Tim B)
I am sorry to make this short, but I am working flat out to try to help Senators Kerry and Kennedy and Durbin (and many more than the press is reporting) defeat the nomination of Samuel Alito to be a Supreme Court justice. You can help too. This is one of those rare moments in Washington when we really don't know what will happen. Everything depends upon whether people like us stand up and say enough is enough. The Alito nomination will shape the law of this country for the next 30 years. He will be a vote in favor of Bush's efforts to use torture, detain American citizens indefinitely and allow domestic spying. He will be a vote against Roe v. Wade. And he will be a vote against the environment, against working people and against every civil rights law that matters.
The number for the Senate switchboard is 202-224-3121. Regardless of where you live, call your Senators TODAY if possible (the offices will be closed over the weekend) or Monday and tell them you expect them to vote AGAINST the cloture vote on Monday. Tell them that in order to get your vote in the future, you expect them to actively join Kerry's filibuster and work to defeat this nomination in every way possible. If you live in DC and have any ties to Rhode Island, Maine, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, North Dakoka, Nevada, Connecticut, California (Feinstein), Florida, Colorado, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alaska or Delaware (Biden) call those Senators and tell them the same. Finally, call and thank ANY Senator who says they will stand with Kerry's filibuster.
Senators Kerry and Kennedy have given us a chance at a fair fight. It is now up to us. Please don't sit this one out. This may be the most important vote with respect to our rights and liberties for a generation. Please do what you can.

TRUST ME!
YOU GOTTA SEE THIS. IT’S $6 MILLION BUCKS-WORTH OF TRULY AMAZING...
(Courtesy MrMR)
http://www.steelcitysfinest.com/HondaAccordAd.htm

IT’LL ALSO HELP YOU DEAL WITH OUR LEADER’S LATEST LITTLE GEM
"It's important for people to understand that this program is so sensitive and so important that if information gets out to how we run it or how we operate it, it'll help the enemy… .Why tell the enemy what we're doing if the program is necessary to protect us from the enemy? And it is." -- George W. Bush

The secret word is Gestapo

ALSO Miss Templeton is now running with the Google ball (and also quotes Sinead O'Connor on Bill Clinton. "Bill Clinton is the sexiest man in the universe. I would bring my own cigars. My mouth is watering at the prospect.") Which mildly resonates with today's All-Time Icon.
http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/

CRYPTIQUE – The machine is over-reaching itself.

Doc40 All-Time Icons # 9 – Marilyn and Jack

"I’ll call you from Dallas, okay? I promise."

HARD DAY
NOTHING TO SAY
BUT I’LL LOAD UP A TIMELESS IMAGE
AND THEN FALL OVER

And the secret image is

But if it's readin' you want, I do have a new column in LA CityBeat.

http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3205&IssueNum=138

CHRIS PENN -- RIP

YO FUCKING HO – HOWARD IS PIRATED
After all that’s gone down, Howard Stern is now looking to his arch-nemesis the FCC for help with the pirates who are bootlegging out his show. Being a Stern-fan, still Sirius-less, and an inveterate bootleg-lover, I went looking for the illegal hook-up. So far, I’ve found www.hearhoward.org which is now silent after a cease-and-desist order, but is still a place to watch the drama unfold, and then I went to http://www.shoutcast.com/directory/?s=Howard+Stern where I was able to get Howard 100 News but not an actual Sterncast, because those channels were overloaded. The fun continues...

A VERY VAGUELY RELATED JOKE
From Harley C1...
In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years.""60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship.""How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall."

The secret word is Oi

AND once again I would direct you to the bog of the amazing Clive Thompson.
http://www.collisiondetection.net/

AND ALSO a major rant on the sinister manipulation of communications technology sent by Dan
http://tarmle.livejournal.com/80182.html

"Your movie was too fucking long, Kong."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 8 – Godzilla

IT LOOKS LIKE UP TO ME
According to a formula devised by Dr Cliff Arnall, a health psychologist at Cardiff University, yesterday was the unhappiest day of 2006. Factors involved in his calculation include Christmas debts, poor weather, failed New Year's resolutions, returning to work and children going back to school, and the fact that it was a Monday. For more details and a resume of the math...
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/health/stories/012306worstday.html

AND, ON A DAY LIKE THIS, MOLLY IVINS IS NOT WRONG
I’m a fan of Bill Clinton kinda like I’m a fan of Elvis Presley. Despite everything. And I don’t mean Monica. Unfortunately the devotion has ceased to extend as far as Hillary, as I’ve become irked and dismayed by her race to a spurious centerism with her nonsense about flag burning, her bet-hedging on abortion, and other examples of rightward pandering. As we swing into what will be another bloody and vicious election year, I have little enthusiasm about throwing my support behind Sen. Clinton and a crew of invertebrate Democrats whom I don’t trust to make the make the necessary repairs, resolve Bush’s war, halt the galloping destruction of the planet, and the trashing of our natural-born liberties, or to hold of the constant rape of the nation by big oil, big pharmaceuticals, the wanna-be theocrats, and all the other thieving, blind-robbing, neocon corporate swine. The great Molly Ivins has more to say on all this at...
http://www.workingforchange.com/article.cfm?ItemID=20250

AND Miss Templeton has a blog on the centuries long ongoing fight between miners and the mine owners. http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/

The secret word is Persevere

YESTERDAY’S IMAGE: Valerie responds – "Yes, isn't she just lovely? Madrid rooftop during the Spanish Civil War, defending dreams." I would that we could all defend our dreams with such beautiful heroism.

Puao en alto mujeres de Iberia
hacia horizontes preaados de luz
por rutas ardientes,
los pies en la tierra
la frente en lo azul.
Lucia Sanchez Saornil, Valencia 1937

THIS IMAGE was sent by Valerie, without explanation, and I was floored by it’s power. I’m guessing it’s from the Spanish Civil War, but I can’t check because Valerie’s email is on the blink and stuff isn’t getting through. I couldn’t wait to post it because I was just plain humbled by the youthful courage and optimism.



And the next post seem kinda petty in comparison.

ROCK CRIT (may or may not rhyme with bullshit)
I probably wouldn’t be mentioning this, except right, now I find myself in a brief lull in my headlong righteous fury (I have to take a day off now and again), and I stumbled across this 1967 artifact by accident on Robert Christgau’s website. I though I’d reproduce it, because at least Bob has the balls to post rather than bury it. And who knows, maybe he still thinks he’s right. I’ve always had a decided ambivalence to the school of rock crit. I’ve done it, I’ve been savaged by it. Sometimes it advances the cause of rock & roll, and other times it definitely holds it back. I’ve been wrong myself, (once or twice, but not often) but never this wrong. And I wouldn’t be bothering to retread this ancient path if it was the work of some fanzine neophyte, but Bob allows himself to be called the Dean of Rock Critics, and is taught in colleges as a master of the craft. But then again, so am I. (And what’s so wrong with dressing like an English fop, anyway?)

"Hendrix is a psychedelic Uncle Tom. Don't believe me, believe Sam Silver of The East Village Other: "Jimi did a beautiful Spade routine." Hendrix earned that capital S. Dressed in English fop mod, with a ruffled orange shirt and red pants that outlined his crotch to the thirtieth row, Jimi really, as Silver phrased it, "socked it to them." Grunting and groaning on the brink of sham orgasm, he made his way through five or six almost indistinguishable songs, occasionally flicking an anteater tongue at that great crotch in the sky. He also played what everybody seems to call "heavy" guitar; in this case, that means he was loud. He was loud with his teeth and behind his back and between his legs, and in case anyone still remembered The Who, Hendrix had a capper. With his back to the audience, Hendrix humped the amplifier and jacked the guitar around his midsection, then turned and sat astride his instrument so that its neck extended like a third leg. For a few tender moments he caressed the strings. Then, in a sacrifice that couldn't have satisfied him more than it did me, he squirted it with lighter fluid from a can held near his crotch and set the cursed thing afire. The audience scrambled for the chunks he tossed into the front rows. He had tailored a caricature to their mythic standards and apparently didn't even overdo it a shade. The destructiveness of The Who is consistent theater, deriving directly from the group's defiant, lower-class stance. I suppose Hendrix's act can be seen as a consistently vulgar parody of rock theatrics, but I don't feel I have to like it. Anyhow, he can't sing." -- Robert Christgau

On the other hand, despite the vanity of critics, Christgau’s words did no damage to Jimi, unless of course the man read them and they ripped his gut.

The secret word is Petard

CRYPTIQUE – If you can’t show up on time, show up early.

"Feeling funny, but I don’t know why."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 7 – Jimi Hendrix

"Thank you. Thank you very much."

THE BUILDING HAS LEFT ELVIS
The news comes (from, of all places, Pravda via Miss Templeton at http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/ ) that the old RCA Nashville studio A, where Elvis Presley recorded much of the classic albums Rock & Roll #s 1 and 2 is to be torn down to make more room for a car dealership. I recall that I went there back in he mid-1970s. It wasn’t super impressive, but hallowed ground often isn’t. For more...
http://newsfromrussia.com/world/2006/01/20/71423.html

AND THE WHALE IN THE THAMES HAS DIED
The lost, distressed, and ailing whale, stranded in the River Thames in central London, died yesterday as rescue workers ferried it on a salvage barge in to release it into the open sea. The unfortunate and possibly aging, 20-foot-long Northern bottlenose had been lifted onto a barge by rescuers and was being taken downriver toward the North Sea when it suffered convulsions and died. "It was a brave, valiant, but ultimately tragic effort to get the whale to safety," RSPCA scientific officer Leila Sadler said.

WHILE CRUISE KILLS SOUTH PARK
Scientology makes sure you don’t say nothing bad about Little Tommy Cruise, even if you’re only a cartoon character. Cruise is alleged to be breeding the Scientology Messiah with female companion Katie Holmes, and planning very soon to annex the known universe. For a more balanced report...
http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3477151

BUT DOC40 WILL LET YOU SEE THE OFFENDING EPISODE
http://www.scientomogy.info/south-park.htm

The secret word is Clear

But Google "Bill Frist Kills Cats" and see what happens.

And talking of neoCon swine...

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."


Isn’t it delightful to be able to use the same caption twice? (See last Thursday)

WEEKEND AT DOC’S FUNHOUSE
Yesterday the value of Google stock dropped by a full 8%. I don’t think it was my fault, but, even if it was, what the fuck? It's the weekend. Let’s just kick back and relax.

IT'S A FAMILY AFFAIR

HCB as sent over this nice picture of the 1930s pioneer stripper and fan dancer Sally Rand, who also happens to be his aunt.

WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS (I fear)

So if you need to read page after page of mindless babble as Paris Hilton gives a court deposition, here’s the link. Be my guest. It's sorta weird art. If you know what I mean. And maybe a reason to bring back the guillotine.
http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix/dep1.pdf

AND YOU GOTTA SEE THE BLACK MATTER FLOWCHART
http://www.astro.umd.edu/~ssm/mond/flowchart.html

The secret word is Lazy

"Talk to the hand."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 6 – Harry Dean Stanton

(Yes, a virtual baseball card.)

BUT -- IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT ALREADY -- READ THE TOP ITEM FROM YESTERDAY! With Google, as some girl points out, now being simultaneously cast as both the Defender of Freedom and the Faceless Phantom Menace, cyberspace and paranoia both become highly complicated. But that’s the way of it in the New American Century. Just keep the government away from my search records. Okay?

THE BUMPER STICKER SAYS IT ALL
But if you don’t remember Richard Nixon (think what a fucking monster Bush would be with a functioning brain, and you pretty much have Nixon) here are some observations...

"Nixonland is a land of slander and scare, of lay innuendo, of a poison pen and the anonymous telephone call, and hustling, pushing, and shoving - the land of smash and grab and anything to win." – Adlai E. Stevenson, 1952

"Nixon is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar, and people know it. He's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides." – Harry S. Truman, 1961

"The great division in retrospective appraisal of Nixon will be between those who regard this as the most inept of presidential performances, and those who will regard it as the most vicious." – Richard E. Neustadt

"The President is the Government" – John Ehrlichman

The secret word is Dick

"Je pense donc je suis."

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 5 – Brigitte Bardot

(Another virtual baseball card.)

"Ann Coulter said fascism would be fun."





BUT THIS IS FUCKING SERIOUS
After my earlier Googlephobia post, the shit hit the fan – maybe by the synchronicity of the damned – as the White House moved yet again to get its dubious fingers on what amounts to our collective stream of consciousness as expressed by our use of search engines...

FEDS AFTER GOOGLE DATA
By Howard Mintz, Mercury News
The Bush administration on Wednesday asked a federal judge to order Google to turn over a broad range of material from its closely guarded databases.
The move is part of a government effort to revive an Internet child protection law struck down two years ago by the U.S. Supreme Court. The law was meant to punish online pornography sites that make their content accessible to minors. The government contends it needs the Google data to determine how often pornography shows up in online searches.
In court papers filed in U.S. District Court in San Jose, Justice Department lawyers revealed that Google has refused to comply with a subpoena issued last year for the records, which include a request for 1 million random Web addresses and records of all Google searches from any one-week period.
The Mountain View-based search and advertising giant opposes releasing the information on a variety of grounds, saying it would violate the privacy rights of its users and reveal company trade secrets, according to court documents.
Nicole Wong, an associate general counsel for Google, said the company will fight the government's effort ``vigorously.''
``Google is not a party to this lawsuit, and the demand for the information is overreaching,'' Wong said.
The case worries privacy advocates, given the vast amount of information Google and other search engines know about their users.
``This is exactly the kind of case that privacy advocates have long feared,'' said Ray Everett-Church, a South Bay privacy consultant. ``The idea that these massive databases are being thrown open to anyone with a court document is the worst-case scenario. If they lose this fight, consumers will think twice about letting Google deep into their lives.''
Everett-Church, who has consulted with Internet companies facing subpoenas, said Google could argue that releasing the information causes undue harm to its users' privacy.
``The government can't even claim that it's for national security,'' Everett-Church said. ``They're just using it to get the search engines to do their research for them in a way that compromises the civil liberties of other people.''
The government argues that it needs the information as it prepares to once again defend the constitutionality of the Child Online Protection Act in a federal court in Pennsylvania. The law was struck down in 2004 because it was too broad and could prevent adults from accessing legal porn sites.
However, the Supreme Court invited the government to either come up with a less drastic version of the law or go to trial to prove that the statute does not violate the First Amendment and is the only viable way to combat child porn.
As a result, government lawyers said in court papers they are developing a defense of the 1998 law based on the argument that it is far more effective than software filters in protecting children from porn. To back that claim, the government has subpoenaed search engines to develop a factual record of how often Web users encounter online porn and how Web searches turn up material they say is ``harmful to minors.''
The government indicated that other, unspecified search engines have agreed to release the information, but not Google.
``The production of those materials would be of significant assistance to the government's preparation of its defense of the constitutionality of this important statute,'' government lawyers wrote, noting that Google is the largest search engine.
Google has the largest share of U.S. Web searches with 46 percent, according to November 2005 figures from Nielsen//NetRatings. Yahoo is second with 23 percent, and MSN third with 11 percent.

AND IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH...
Our pal lever posted a comment below with a link to a chilling little moviette. Read the comment, but here’s an easier link.
http://www.idorosen.com/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/

The secret word is Stop

Wilson Pickett -- RIP

"Are you still looking at me?"

Doc40 All-Time Icon # 4 – Travis Bickle

(Yes, this is turning into a set of virtual baseball cards.)

GOOGLEPHOBIA
In recent issues of LA CityBeat, I’ve written two pieces that at least touched on the sometimes uncomfortable interface between man and machine. One was about Ray Kurzweil and The Singularity (http://www.lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2881&IssueNum=128 ) and the other was a cover story on contemporary media that touched on the role of Google in the world. (http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=3102&IssueNum=135 )
It now emerges that there are people out there who are extremely nervous of the growing power of Google and are weaving what could be the biggest conspiracy fest since the shots from the Grassy Knoll, encompassing everything from AI to mind control to aliens. And me? Where do I stand in all this? Well, I guess I’m firmly on the fence. We’ve been nervous about the mechanism since at least the days of Ned Ludd, and, so far, I’ve managed to just about keep up with the modern world. In fact, on any given Thursday, I may well trust machines more than I trust humans. Also self-interest tells me that I use Google many times daily and definitely don’t want to piss it off. On the other hand, I do love a good conspiracy. So go check this out for a whole lotta fun...
http://www.google-watch.org/

The secret word is Algorithm

OR WOULD YOU RATHER CLONE A SHEEP?

"It’s not easy being green (while conquering the known universe.)"

Doc40 All-Time Icon #3 – The Mekon

(I think this is turning into something akin to a set of virtual baseball cards – or unconscious self-revelation.)

Check this, precioussssss....

AND GOD SAW IT WAS NOT GOOD
Funtopia Rich sent over the following link ( http://www.capalert.com/ ) to "Ministry of the Child Care Action Project (CAP): Christian Analysis of American Culture Ministry", a complicated website – with graphs, flashing lights and constant appeals for donations – that grades all the movies that it can get its hands on, to help parents spot the ungodly evil that lurks in the output of Hollywood. And, man, is there some dire and ungodly evil on the silver screen.

Take, for instance, a snippet of CAP on ROTK.– which one might consider family fare..
"How can I call The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King a work of art? Because of the skill and talents that went into a beautifully choreographed and orchestrated symphony of visual and audio excellence in a story of contrapositioned good and evil. Then how can I find issue with it if it is so magnificent? Because, in nutshell, art does not equal sin and sin does not equal art. Art becomes sin when art uses sin. The inference drawn from the beauty of the manner used to contraposition good and evil may lead some viewers to believe more of evil than evil is due. Whether intentional, such presentation of sensory and spiritual food can be trickery.

The listed offences to God include – "unholy transformation by evil power; talking trees; unholy healing; evil control; unholy possession; threat by wizardry/sorcery; prophesying; evil beasts/demons; repeatedly enlisting tens of thousands of "walking dead" to do good by assisting the "good guys" in battle; frequent and repeated graphic views of many unholy creatures (Orcs) many times in close-up; use of evil (sorcery/witchcraft/wizardry) to do good by assisting the "good guys" in battle; grant of immortality. Plus moral problems like – sparse dress on male character; repeatedly excessive cleavage; open face kiss; smoking; drinking; drunkenness. "

Or CAP on the Star Wars saga...
"While violence was a saturating presence in each of the Star Wars movies, the violence presented was described by one of our subscribers as "clean violence." I may not agree entirely with that description, but the point is made. Subjectively speaking, the kind and scope of violence in the Star Wars movies was akin to that with which we as parents today grew up with: cowboy, military, and cops & robbers violence -- the kind that does not typically drive itself so deeply into the behavior choice warehouse of the adolescent who is aflame with prepubescent or pubescent fire as does the popular style of steely cold violence inflicted with orgasmic satisfaction. Except for that expressed by the emperor in The Return of the Jedi as he tried to kill Luke and in the face of Darth Maul in The Phantom Menace, there was no lust for or joy in inflicting violence noted in the Star Wars movies. The more graphic invasive elements of ignominy included in the Star Wars movies should be relatively re-directable by caring and participative parents, but it is especially important that you share with children the possibly dangerous common invisible or translucent sub-theme of discarding the Sovereignty of God and His Word."

I really have no right to argue with those who subscribe to this nonsense. Hey, it’s a free planet (supposedly). But for once in my life I can only echo the cry of Helen Lovejoy. "Will someone please think of the children?" What kind of dangerous emotional cripples is this mindset raising? (I also wonder what CAP would make of Sting of Death – see last Sunday.)

The secret word is No

NOT IN FRONT OF THE PARROT, SUZY
Chris Taylor, a 30-year-old British computer programmer, grew suspicious of his live-in girlfriend when his pet parrot began to imitate her saying, "I love you, Gary." Ziggy, an 8-year-old African gray parrot, named for Ziggy Stardust, would also make kissing noises whenever the name Gary was mentioned on TV and would mimic Suzy Collins saying, "Hiya, Gary," every time she answered her mobile phone. Confronted with the evidence, Collins admitted to a month-long affair with a coworker named Gary and moved out of their shared Leeds apartment that same night.

"My dear Doc, a whip can speak volumes."

(Doc40 All-Time Icon #2 – Bettie Page)

REPUBLICANS CONTINUE TO DESTROY EARTH
(And mainly because they don’t like Al Gore)
Buried in yesterday’s NY Times oped page was a story that made my blood boil (and I use the metaphor very deliberately.) Here’s an excerpt...

"In science, nature is the sole arbiter. Disputes are resolved only by better experiments. The better experiment when it comes to global warming was to be the climate observatory, situated in space at the neutral-gravity point between the Sun and Earth. Called Lagrange 1, or L1, this point is about one million miles from Earth. At L1, with a view of the full disk of the Sun in one direction, and a full sunlit Earth in the opposite, the observatory could continuously monitor Earth's energy balance. It was given a poetic name, Triana, after Rodrigo de Triana, the sailor aboard Christopher Columbus's ship who first sighted the New World. Development began in November 1998 and it was ready for launching three years later. The cost was only about $100 million. For comparison, that is only one-thousandth the cost of the International Space Station, which serves no useful purpose. Before Triana could be launched, however, there was a presidential election. Many of the industries favored by the new Bush White House were not anxious to have the cause of global warming pinned down. The launching was put on hold."

And let’s face it, $100 million is fucking chump change. I actually know someone with that kinda scratch. For the full story...
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/15/opinion/15park.html?th&emc=th
And also
http://toms.gsfc.nasa.gov/future/triana.html

I’ve posted Clive Thompson’s link before, but his blog of science/pop-culture tales is so neat, here it is again... http://www.collisiondetection.net/

The secret word is Fried

MLK
"I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits. I believe that what self-centered men have torn down, men other-centered can build up. I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed, and nonviolent redemptive goodwill will proclaim the rule of the land."

(Thanks to Miss Templeton for the text – http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/ )