CAN’T SAY FAIRER THAN THAT

Seemed like it might be time to look at some religion other than political Christianity, especially when, Tennessee, good Christians have instituted the rule that, if you don’t pay the firemen, they let your house burn down.

"Hence there were no abstruse theories about the creation of the universe or the existence of a Supreme Being. These matters might be interesting but they would not give a disciple enlightenment or release from dukkha. One day, while living in a grove of simsapa trees in Kosambi, the Buddha plucked a few leaves and pointed out to his disciples that there were many more still growing in the wood. So too he had only given them a few teachings and withheld many others. Why? 'Because, my disciples, they will not help you, they are not useful in the quest for holiness, they do not lead to peace and to the direct knowledge of Nibbana.' He told one monk, who kept pestering him about philosophy, that he was like a wounded man who refused to have treatment until he learned the name of the person who had shot him and what village he came from: he would die before he got this useless information. In just the same way, those who refused to live according to the Buddhist method until they knew about the creation of the world or the nature of the Absolute would die in misery before they got an answer to these unknowable questions. What difference did it make if the world was eternal or created in time? Grief, suffering and misery would still exist. The Buddha was concerned simply with the cessation of pain. 'I am preaching a cure for these unhappy conditions here and now,' the Buddha told the philosophically inclined bhikkhu, 'so always remember what I have not explained to you and the reason why I have refused to explain it.' – Karen Armstrong, Buddha (Penguin)

Click here for Johnny Cash

The secret word is Secret

BIG BROTHER WANTS HIS TOY BACK

Do I need to comment?

“A California student got a visit from the FBI this week after he found a secret GPS tracking device on his car, and a friend posted photos of it online. The post prompted wide speculation about whether the device was real, whether the young Arab-American was being targeted in a terrorism investigation and what the authorities would do. It took just 48 hours to find out: The device was real, the student was being secretly tracked and the FBI wanted its expensive device back, the student told Wired.com in an interview Wednesday. The answer came when half-a-dozen FBI agents and police officers appeared at Yasir Afifi’s apartment complex in Santa Clara, California, on Tuesday demanding he return the device. Afifi, a 20-year-old U.S.-born citizen, cooperated willingly and said he’d done nothing to merit attention from authorities. Comments the agents made during their visit suggested he’d been under FBI surveillance for three to six months.” Click here for more

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE IMPACT OF HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP

Click here for Jerry Lee Lewis

SPACE OPERA (Tattoo Special 2)

Yesterday we ran a link to a gallery of robot tattoos. I have problems believing this one is real.

PIG V PIG

“Fuck you, Tex!”

Shall we start placing bets?

"(Reuters) - October won't be the best month to be a feral hog in the state of Texas. The state's Agriculture Commissioner Todd Staples has declared October "Hog Out Month - Get the Hog Outta Texas!" as part of a campaign to eradicate the pests. The campaign aims to get Texans to lock and load and hunt down the animals, which cause widespread damage to farmers and other landowners. "Not only are feral hogs a costly nuisance to agricultural operations and wildlife habitats, but they are increasingly finding their way into urban areas and destroying residents' yards, public parks and golf courses," Staples said in a statement this week when the campaign was unveiled. "On my ranch in East Texas, I have eliminated a number of hogs and I am asking Texans around the state to step up and join the county challenge to learn about feral hogs and how best to legally hunt and trap them in their area," he added. Feral hogs are mostly domestic pigs that have gone wild, with some European wild boars that have escaped from exotic game ranches thrown into the mix and bloodlines. State officials estimate the feral hog population in Texas to be around 2 million and they are estimated to cause around $400 million in damage annually as they eat or root up pastures, crops and even golf courses. This makes them one of the most costly invasive species in the country. The campaign may not please some animal rights groups but Texas farmers don't need much prompting to pull the trigger when it comes to feral hogs. Their numbers are growing because they are prolific breeders with few natural predators and are moving into suburban and urban areas. They are also regarded as a challenge to hunt or trap because they are wary and intelligent. In author George Orwell's novel "Animal Farm," the pigs ran the show for a reason. "Get the Hog Outta Texas" month will feature a challenge among Texas counties that will run until October 31. The county that documents the most hogs removed during the month will get a $25,000 grant toward what the Texas Department of Agriculture terms "feral hog abatement technologies."

Click here for Dr. Feelgood

The secret word is Ham

THE WORLD’S BIGGEST YOYO

Human ingenuity knows no bounds.

"Chris Allen, a professional yo-yoist, made an enormous yo-yo out of two dog pools. It’s 35 inches across, 18 inches wide, and weighs 5.4 pounds. Allen tested it while standing on the roof of parking garage of the National Yo-Yo Museum in Chico, California.” Click here for the video

ULTRA-RARE PARTY HENDRIX

Click here for the video

SPACE OPERA (Tattoo Special)

Click here for a whole gallery

THE VERY VERY RICH ARE VERY VERY PISSED OFF

Believe it or not, billionaires feel victimized.

“Look out, they're angry. Foaming-at-the-mouth angry. And they're lashing out, saying they won't take it anymore. As one of their leaders angrily cried, "It's a war." Indeed — they're on the move to take their country back. Forget the tea party rowdies, this is the champagne party! More precisely, it's the Dom Perignon-$1,000-a-bottle-champagne-party, propelled by — get this — billionaire's rage. Yes, some of the richest, most pampered people on the planet — people who literally wallow in luxury every day, with never a concern about losing a job, a home or health care, or getting their kids into college — these people are wailing in self-pity. They are Wall Street hedge-fund operators, which essentially means they are high-flying financial flimflammers. What has stoked them into an elitist fury is a Barack Obama proposal to close off a ridiculous tax loophole that has let them pay only 15 percent of their lavish income in taxes, rather than the 35 percent rate that us commoners pay. One of the richest of the ragers, Steve Schwarzman of the Blackstone Group, sees Obama's proposal as an outrageous intrusion into the suites of the elite, comparing it to "when Hitler invaded Poland." This over-the-top-tantrum comes from a multibillionaire — a guy who spent $3 million in 2007 just to throw himself a birthday party!” Click here for more

Click here for The Who

The secret word is Rope

INFESTATION IS NO JOKE

UK Steve sent this. It’s serious. Click here.

JOHN LENNON PROVES THAT "CATHY’S CLOWN" IS ONE HARD MOTHERFUCKER SONG TO SING

Click here

And now click here for the Everly Brothers

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Dick and Jane Frozdick found the big furniture experiment very amusing at first. Little did they suspect how hideously it would all end.

YOU CAN NEVER EAT ENOUGH FISH

DON'T YOU MISS THE 20TH CENTURY?

DREAM MANIPULATION THROUGH THE APPLICATION OF CHEESE

Who needs drugs when there’s provolone?

“There’s an old wives’ tale that claims that eating cheese before bed makes you dream weird and incredible things. For serious? The British Medical Journal thinks so. A finely-aged 1964 edition tells of a man whose nightly supper consisted of cheddar, served straight up. This man was haunted by horrible, horrible nightmares: “He dreamt of [a workmate], terribly mutilated, hanging from a meat-hook. Another, he dreamt of falling into a bottomless abyss. When cheese was withdrawn from his diet the nightmares ceased.” As we know, the British Medical Journal doesn’t lie. Doctors don’t study for ten years just so they can make shit up in a trade mag. Neither do old wives, for that matter. But if you’re still sitting there making scrunched-up “cheese isn’t a drug” faces at me, you’re not alone. For some weird reason, everyone wants to disprove the cheese-dream myth. For example, I told my housemate last night and she was all like, “Yeah, I suppose so. But it’s just cheese.” Just cheese? You’re an idiot, Claire.The fact is, cheese doesn’t grow on trees. It’s made using a pretty elaborate mélange involving milk, rennet (an enzyme taken from mammalian stomachs), and any number of molds—a hodgepodge of ingredients and baffling techniques. Most important, somewhere during that whole process, a thing called tyramine is produced. This is essentially a form of dopamine that, while it can’t get you stoned, can trigger high activity in the part of the brain that controls REM. In other words: If you shove a whole lot of it in your face just before sleepies, weird shit might happen." Click here for much more.

But beware the Evil Cheese Panda

Click here for Roy

The secret word is Gorgonzola

Norman Wisdom – RIP

NOW THEY TELL US?

And whoever suspected Marlboro had a therapeutic upside?

“You all know very well the dangerous health risk of smoking because it has over 300 carcinogens that have proved to be as damaging to the lungs of the smokers. Nevertheless, research has shown a 50% lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease or Parkinson disease in smokers as compared to the non-smokers. Nicotine has also found to give an encouraging result especially in improving ADHD symptoms and reducing the risk of developing ulcerative colitis. Still, I don’t agree with this type of therapy for adults and particularly not for teens and children.” (Lifted from Healthmad)

THEY WARNED US WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE STARTED MESSING AROUND WITH THE MARRIAGE LAWS

Click here for The Dixie Cups

GRATUITOUS WHAAA???

THE SNITCHES ARE AMONG US

If you needed one more disappointment in the Obama promised land of hope and change, it’s in how the post 9/11 domestic secret police/spy industry is still being run with a corporate vengeance.

“There is a continuum between those who would express dissent and those who would do a terrorist act,” Mueller said ominously in a 2002 speech. “Somewhere along that continuum we have to begin to investigate. If we do not, we are not doing our job. It is difficult for us to find a path between the two extremes.” What does that mean? Just last week, FBI agents raided half a dozen homes of anti-war activists in Minneapolis and Chicago, carting away papers, computers, clothing, and other personal effects, all in the name of investigating “material support of terrorism.” The activists, their supporters, and their attorneys have a different view: they see the raids as designed to intimidate and disrupt legitimate political dissent -- points on “the continuum.” It is a virtual certainty that evidence of intrusive surveillance will surface as these cases mature. In Pennsylvania the continuum has meant, most recently, that the state Office of Homeland Security contracted with a small outfit, the Institute of Terrorism Response and Research, run by a couple of ex-cops, one from York, Pennsylvania, the other raised in Philadelphia and a veteran of Israeli law enforcement. For the past year, the institute has been providing secret intelligence reports via the state Homeland Security Office to Pennsylvania police departments and private companies in order, the reports say, to “support public and private sector, critical infrastructure protection initiatives and strategies.” (Click here for much, much more.)

Click here for John Lee Hooker

The secret word is Informer

FIRST LEMMY, THEN CARL JUNG, AND NOW…

Yes, my droogs, it’s an Allen Ginsberg action figure.


(Click here for Howl)

PANCAKES COME IN A MANIFOLD FORMS Part 2 (Scroll back to Sunday Breakfast)

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

As far as anyone knew, Gypsy Rose Frozdick was world’s first stripping ventriloquist.

DON'T YOU MISS THE 20TH CENTURY?

Bob buys boots. Wandering heels optional. (Image sent by UK Steve. Note the picture of The Who on the wall.) Click here for Nancy Sinatra.

DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL

The intrusion of a serious and importunate reality flow necessitates Doc40 being a little late today. But don’t worry, friends and neighbors, all will be back to what we laughingly call normal by tomorrow at the latest. And even in this temporal complexity, we won’t leave you wholly empty handed.

The secret word is Chaotic

GRATUITOUS BARDOT & BIRKIN

And click here for some rare Buddy Holly

SUNDAY BREAKFAST

I am inordinately fond of pancakes and always have been. From thin crepes with lemon juice, to a plate of silver dollars with sausage on the side, to a big fat buttermilk stack foundering in a sea of maple syrup, I’ll eat fried batter until I can eat no more. I have to admit, however, the idea of pancakes from an aerosol can creates mixed and conflicted feelings deep in my culinary aberrations. I have to admit, you see, I also have a perverse attraction to the Jetson school space food, and pancakes from a can sure as hell qualify as that. When our pal Zoe first alerted me to this pressurized wonder, my first thought was to speculate if you could squirt the stuff onto some recycled black plastic platter and place it straight in the microwave. I have yet to conduct such a nuke-potential experiment but I will report back if I do. My second, and less happy thought was whether the Batter Blaster is really just one more step to humanities ultimate corporate fate/doom when, monstrously obese, we are simple plugged into intravenous hoses of high fructose corn syrup in some miserable approximation of The Matrix.

Click here for Uncle Dave Macon

The secret word is Griddle

PANCAKES, OF COURSE, COME IN A MANIFOLD FORMS

MARILYN SEZ...

“As they very rightly say, sometimes you eat the bear and sometime the bear eats you.”
(Image from Roldo)

SIGNS FOR THE TIMES

GRATUITOUS LEE MARVIN

Click here for Lee singin’ (if you really have to)

WHO’S RUNNING OUR WARS?

Jack Kennedy found out the hard way. Has much changed since 1963? Michael Moore calls it as he sees it…

“So...it turns out President Eisenhower wasn't making up all that stuff about the military-industrial complex. That's what you'll conclude if you read Bob Woodward's new book, Obama's War. You thought you voted for change when you cast a ballot for Barack Obama? Um, not when it comes to America occupying countries that don't begin with a "U" and an "S." In fact, after you read Woodward's book, you'll split a gut every time you hear a politician or a government teacher talk about "civilian control over the military." The only people really making the decisions about America's wars are across the river from Washington in the Pentagon. They wear uniforms. They have lots of weapons they bought from the corporations they will work for when they retire. For everyone who supported Obama in 2008, it's reassuring to find out he understands we have to get out of Afghanistan. But for everyone who's worried about Obama in 2010, it's scary to find out that what he thinks should be done may not actually matter. And that's because he's not willing to stand up to the people who actually run this country. And here's the part I don't even want to write -- and none of you really want to consider: It matters not whom we elect. The Pentagon and the military contractors call the shots. The title "Commander in Chief" is ceremonial, like "Employee of the Month" at your local Burger King.” (Click here for more Moore and video of the Eisenhower speech.)

The secret word is Profits

SCHWARZENEGGER SIGNS DECRIMINALIZATION BILL

Both our pals Munz and HCB sent us the following good news. Seems like Arnold is doing the right thing now he’s leaving office.

”Sacramento, Sept 30th: A bill to downgrade the possession of one ounce or less of marijuana from a misdemeanor to an infraction was signed into law by Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger. The bill, SB 1449 by Sen. Mark Leno, will spare petty pot offenders the necessity for a court appearance and criminal arrest record while saving the state millions of dollars in court and prosecution expenses. The bill treats petty possession like a traffic ticket punishable by a simple $100 fine and no arrest record. "Gov. Schwarzenegger deserves credit for sparing the state's taxpayers the cost of prosecuting minor pot offenders," said California NORML director Dale Gieringer, "Californians increasingly recognize that the war on marijuana is a waste of law enforcement resources." The new law, which takes effect on Jan 1, 2011, will have an effect even if Californians vote to legalize marijuana by passing Prop 19. Prop 19 leaves misdemeanor possession penalties in place for public use and smoking in the presence of kids; under SB 1449, these offenses would be simple infractions. In his signing statement, the Governor said he opposes decriminalization of recreational use of marijuana and opposes Prop 19, but "in this time of drastic budget cuts, prosecutors defense attorneys, law enforcement and the courts cannot afford to expend limited resources" prosecuting petty pot offenses.”

AURORA CAM

Although not as cute as a baby panda cam of yesteryear, this is well worth a stoned stare.

"Photographs of the aurora borealis can't really convey what it's like to be sitting in the woods, staring at a black, perfectly normal sky and suddenly begin to see quivering green tracers slither across it. The photos are proof that we're not just all tripping balls up here in the northerly latitudes, but if what you really want is the experience—or something resembling it—the Canadian Space Agency can help. Their AuroraMax Live project turns a camera on the skies above Yellowknife, Northwest Territories and sends the resulting images direct to your portal on the Intertubes.” Click here to see all.

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Ophelia Frozdick was surprised to find Victor Mature using her telephone.

WOMAN KNITS HUSBAND ELVIS WIG

Is it any wonder Elvis took drugs?

ELVIS’ LAST SCRIPT

Click here for Elvis

DON'T YOU MISS THE 20TH CENTURY? (TV version)

TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER (Or maybe your designated ambassador?)

Whether or not the UN have a secret ambassador primed and ready to meet and greet any aliens who might show up is basically for you, dear reader, to decide. I’m also aware that some of you there firmly believe the aliens took over years ago – on Feb. 20, 1954, to be precise, when “President Dwight Eisenhower interrupted his vacation in Palm Springs to make a secret nocturnal trip to a nearby Edwards Air Force base to meet extraterrestrials” – and the ETs have been our shadowy overlords ever since. I would, on the other hand, point out that, if these aliens are our all-controlling shadowy overlords, they kinda suck at it.

“When the little green men show up on their space shuttle, they might have trouble finding a leader to talk to.Despite some of the most promising science fiction reports out there, the United Nations will not be appointing an ambassador to extraterrestrials. The Martian madness began with a report in the London Telegraph that "Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist, is set to be tasked with co-ordinating humanity's response if and when extraterrestrials make contact." Othman was appointed the director of the United Nations' Office for Outer Space Affairs in 1999. According to the Telegraph story, the scientist would announce her new role at a Royal Society conference in Buckinghamshire next week. The real life Men In Black story burned through the Internet, but the Guardian has stopped all the alien fun by actually asking Othman about her supposed appointment. Othman sent the paper an e-mail saying, "It sounds really cool but I have to deny it." She will be attending a conference next week, but she'll be talking about how the world deals with "near-Earth objects." Though, perhaps just like the alien ambassadors in the movie Men in Black, Othman could be keeping the job a secret.”

The secret initials are EBE

BUT IF WE KEEP ON DISCOVERING HABITABLE PLANETS…

…the UN may need to get its act in gear.

“US astronomers said Wednesday they have discovered an Earth-sized planet that they think might be habitable, orbiting a nearby star, and believe there could be many more planets like it in space. The planet, found by astronomers at the University of California, Santa Cruz, and the Carnegie Institution of Washington, is orbiting in the middle of the "habitable zone" of the red dwarf star Gliese 581, which means it could have water on its surface. The scientists determined that the planet, which they have called Gliese 581g, has a mass three to four times that of Earth and an orbital period of just under 37 days.”

BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHO’S COMING TO VISIT

Click here for Collins and Harlan (?)

MARILYN SEZ...

“Reunited and it feels so good.”

BUT BACK WITH THE ALIENS THERE’S A MATTER OF FOOTWEAR

Click here for rare Rolling Stones

AND A RIVAL FOR KATY MANNING

DO WE REALLY NEED A HEADLINE?

Because sure as shit capitalism is about to fuck you. (And it definitely won’t buy you dinner.) Sally Kalson puts it in a nutshell…

“It wasn't that long ago that Republicans talked about shrinking government down to where it could be drowned in the bathtub. That's exactly what's happening now to the middle class. It's being shrunk by the low-wage global labor pool. If we keep going this way, the influence of the middle class as a voting bloc will, eventually, be drowned in the gold-plated bathtub of the country's monied interests. Increasingly, American companies are shipping jobs to destitute people overseas willing to work long hours for a fraction of what American workers need to get by. The good jobs that used to pay the mortgage, grocery and doctor bills, with enough left to save for a vacation and the kids' college fund, are outsourced to places like China (where a garment worker makes 86 cents an hour) and Cambodia (where the wage is 22 cents an hour). Meanwhile, some 40 percent of employed Americans are working in service jobs, often very low paying.
This phenomenon, combined with automation and the ongoing effects of the economic meltdown, are the job killers today, much more so than government taxing and spending. In fact, it's government programs that prevent people forced into lower wage jobs from cracking their heads wide open on the pavement. Unemployment compensation, food stamps, child care subsidies, Aid to Families with Dependent Children, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and health care reform measures that keep children up to age 26 on their parents' insurance policies and prevent insurance companies from excluding children with pre-existing conditions or cancelling a policy when you get sick -- all of these things mitigate the effects of global forces beyond workers' control. But even as the middle class dwindles, it is being exhorted to vote against its own well-being by monied interests bent on maintaining or increasing their already overwhelming advantages. Extending the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans is a prime example.Using scare tactics and demagoguery (Socialism! Communism!) -- and, thanks to the Supreme Court, unlimited financing of campaign messages -- these wealthy interests are working overtime to turn middle class voters against themselves.” (Click here for more)

Click here for The Kingsmen

The secret word is Screwed

Tony Curtis -- RIP

Arthur Penn -- RIP

THE GREAT RED SPOT

Seems that I’m still using the majesty of the universe as an escape from terrestrial unpleasantness.

“This photo mosaic combines photos from Voyager 1's 1979 Jupiter flyby to provide our best view ever of the Great Red Spot, the gigantic storm that has raged on that planet for centuries and is twice as big as Earth. This amazing image is the work of Icelandic amateur image processor Björn Jónsson, who combed through all the many photos taken during the Voyager flyby in order to make this mosaic view of the Great Red Spot. These photos have been publicly available for three decades, but only now has someone bothered to find them and put them together like this. Jónsson also took the liberty of greatly increasing the contrast of the image, providing a much clearer view of the spot. The Great Red Spot is a massive storm system that has been in existence for anywhere from 180 to 345 years, and it's currently about 24,000 to 40,000 kilometers long from east to west, and 12,000 to 14,000 kilometers north to south. The spot slowly rotates counterclockwise at a rate of about once very six Earth days. It's not currently known how long the spot will last, but it is getting smaller. Scientists estimate it's only about half the size now that it was a century ago.” (Click here for more)

THE GOOD GUYS

This rare little artifact showed up on Facebook. A quid to get in? Larry Wallis’ name spelled wrong? Those were the days. The good guys were the band that went out with me to promote the album Vampires Stole My Lunch Money, being Andy Colquhoun, Alan Powell, Gary Tibbs, and the aforementioned Wallis. Tracks from that record have started to show up on YouTube. Click here for “I Want A Drink” that features Wilko Johnson on guest guitar/