THOSE WHACKY CHRISTIANS JUST WON'T STOP

Two days ago, we posted a link to the attack ads being run by the absurd Tim James who seems to think that you have to believe the nonsense below in order to serve as Governor of Alabama. The whole thing would be laughable except politicians who profess these primitive beliefs expect to hold positions of power in the hierarchy of a nuclear superpower, and also, if it suits their purpose, become the willing shills of big insurance or big oil to the total detriment of those who elected them. How, I ask myself, do they manage to exist in the same universe as Stephen Hawking, the Hubble telescope, or the works of Albert Einstein? How do they reconcile themselves with concepts like dark matter, black holes, the speed of light, and the curvature of space – or even the mathematical underpinnings of the very computers on which they create their idiotic web posts.

“The question of the age of the earth has produced heated discussions on Internet debate boards, TV, radio, in classrooms, and in many churches, Christian colleges, and seminaries. The primary sides are Young-earth proponents (biblical age of the earth and universe of about 6,000 years.) Old-earth proponents (secular age of the earth of about 4.5 billion years and a universe about 14 billion years old.) The difference is immense! Let’s give a little history of where these two basic calculations came from and which worldview is more reasonable. Where Did a Young-earth Worldview Come From? Simply put, it came from the Bible. Of course, the Bible doesn’t say explicitly anywhere, “The earth is 6,000 years old.” Good thing it doesn’t; otherwise it would be out of date the following year. But we wouldn’t expect an all-knowing God to make that kind of a mistake. God gave us something better. In essence, He gave us a “birth certificate.” For example, using a personal birth certificate, a person can calculate how old he is at any point. It is similar with the earth. Genesis 1 says that the earth was created on the first day of creation (Genesis 1:1–5). From there, we can begin to calculate the age of the earth. Let’s do a rough calculation to show how this works. The age of the earth can be estimated by taking the first five days of creation (from earth’s creation to Adam), then following the genealogies from Adam to Abraham in Genesis 5 and 11, then adding in the time from Abraham to today.”

I might treat these fools with marginally more sympathy if they stuck to their geneology and magical thinking and didn’t try to back up The Bible with all this absurd pseudo-science.

“If the items were really millions of years old, then they shouldn’t have any traces of 14C. Coal and diamonds, which are found in or sandwiched between rock layers allegedly millions of years old, have been shown to have 14C ages of only tens of thousands of years. So which date, if any, is correct? The diamonds or coal can’t be millions of years old if they have any traces of 14C still in them. This shows that these dating methods are completely unreliable and indicates that the presumed assumptions in the methods are erroneous.” (Click here if you really need to read more.)

Click here for devotional, out-of-sync Elvis

The secret word is Impossible

THE SUN WILL NOT COME OUT TOMORROW

I never liked the comic strip Little Orphan Annie mainly because Harold Grey was a highly reactionary FDR-hater and defender of the plutocracy in the person of Daddy Warbucks – plus I found Punjab, the turbaned giant, extremely creepy – and I won’t mourn her demise although I do thank the J-Walk blog for the heads up, and note it as one more symptom of how print must mutate or die.

“Even after 86 years, all good things must end and so it goes for the Little Orphan Annie comic strip. An announcement by Tribune Media Services said Little Orphan Annie has been canceled. The last time to catch Annie in the funny papers, according to the NYDailyNews.com, is June 13. In 1924, Little Orphan Annie made her debut in The New York Daily News.”

Click here and suffer.

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 74

Just the book for that Louisiana weekend at the beach. (But click here for Dr. John and hope to start the mojo rising.)

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

When Amanda “Leather” Frozdick married her robot, the nuptials were not well attended.

25 YEARS AFTER THE MOVE BOMBING

Yesterday was the 25th anniversary of the MOVE bombing in Philadelphia. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here.

And click here for Grace Slick (It’s all the same struggle, my friends, from here to Thailand, and it’s not over yet by a long way.)

DNA? I DON’T THINK SO

Ever since I’ve been able to read, I’ve avoided medical books like the plague. I only had to read the symptoms of a disease to believe that I had it. The same kind of acquired hypochondria must surely go quantum for doing your own DNA testing. I’m kinda relieved that these kits are not going on sale today.

“Now you can get instant photos, a pint of ice cream, and a home test to reveal your genes at Walgreen's. But those newest test kits have been pulled from the shelves, due to an outcry from scientists and genomics professionals, which prompted the Food and Drug Administration to contact Pathway Genomics, the makers of the Insight kit, marketed to "Discover Your DNA." In response to concerns from the FDA and Federal Trade Commission, Walgreen's has postponed the sale of those DIY genetic test kits. The test is not just for breast cancer, but is a very broad genetic screening, checking your risk for more than 70 diseases and conditions. That's an overwhelming amount of information, and the FDA is concerned, saying in a statement, "These kits have not been proven safe, effective or accurate and patients could be making medical decisions based on data from a test that hasn't been validated by the FDA.” Click here for more.

The secret word is Genome

HELLO KITTY

Click here and then click some more.

WITH HER FOG, HER AMPHETAMINE, AND HER PEARLS

Folks do say that here at Doc40 we’ll use any excuse to post retro-cheesecake pinups. The excuse here is that I’m attempting to raise the profile of my soon too be published, cultural history of amphetamine – Speed-Speed-Speedfreak. (And, yes, I am probably damned and will certainly go to hell.)

Click here for yet more Bob (Let me know when the Dylan clips get tired.)

NEANDERTHALS JUST COULDN’T LEAVE THOSE HUMANS ALONE

If The New York Times is to be believed, some Neanderthals just could be stopped from slipping out and hanging with the humans.

"Neanderthals mated with some modern humans after all and left their imprint in the human genome, a team of biologists has reported in the first detailed analysis of the Neanderthal genetic sequence. The biologists, led by Svante Paabo of the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, have been slowly reconstructing the genome of Neanderthals, the stocky hunters that dominated Europe until 30,000 years ago, by extracting the fragments of DNA that still exist in their fossil bones. Just last year, when the biologists first announced that they had decoded the Neanderthal genome, they reported no significant evidence of interbreeding. Scientists say they have recovered 60 percent of the genome so far and hope to complete it. By comparing that genome with those of various present day humans, the team concluded that about 1 percent to 4 percent of the genome of non-Africans today is derived from Neanderthals. But the Neanderthal DNA does not seem to have played a great role in human evolution, they said. Experts believe that the Neanderthal genome sequence will be of extraordinary importance in understanding human evolutionary history since the two species split some 600,000 years ago.” (Click here for the rest)

The image is another Frazetta

Click here for the Hollywood Argyles

The secret word is Cave

AND TALKING OF NEANDERTHALS...

This man is Tim James. He wants to be Governor of Alabama. Click here for his creationist hillbilly attack ad. (And check out the goons behind him.)

THE NAME IS…

Well no, it’s not the metal band, it’s this guy called Richard Smith. A Brit tabloidy website called Metro informs us that…

“A 41-year-old care worker from Carlisle called Richard Smith, whose friends have traditionally known him by the nickname Spiff, decided that even that nickname wasn't enough to keep him happy, and has changed his name by deed poll to Stormhammer Deathclaw Firebrand. Mr. Firebrand now plans to change all his bank, tax and work details so that he is officially known by the Firebrand name. ‘It’s just a strange name I like the sound of,’ Stormhammer explained.”

I just hope the cops never pull him over as he’s driving home from the pub.

BUT THIS IS STORMHAMMER (the artist formerly know as Smith)

Click here for Metallica (and I wrote the lyrics for this ditty.)

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

No one was exactly surprised when Bluto Frozdick ran off and joined the navy.

SPACE OPERA (1956)

Click here for Louis and Bebe Barron

SPACE OPERA (2010)

ALIEN V PREDATOR

I may have the reputation of cleaving to the paranoid, but I could detect a pattern if I tried real hard. A lot of those in power and a lot of corporations would be delighted if every outbreak of real or manufactured hysteria could be met with more robots, more cameras, more drones in the sky, and more surveillance software. It’s Skynet meets Big Brother.

“After years of political pressure from Texas politicians, U.S. Rep. Henry Cuellar said Monday that he expects the federal government to deliver unmanned aircraft to watch over the border with Mexico by this fall. Cuellar, a Democrat from Laredo, said he has had discussions with top officials from the U.S. Customs and Border Protection's office of air and marine operations, and they agreed to the timetable, subject to Federal Aviation Administration approval to allow the surveillance planes — often referred to in the political vernacular as "Predator drones" — to fly over Texas. Laura Brown, an FAA spokeswoman, said the administration is "working as quickly as we can on this." Cuellar said the FAA told him that regulators' main concern has been with Texas' heavy airplane traffic — both private and commercial. If approved, the unmanned aircraft in Texas would add to the federal government's existing border effort, which includes a handful of other unmanned aircraft, 20,000 Border Patrol agents, about 650 miles of border fence and 41 mobile surveillance systems, according to Customs and Border Protection. The plane, which is made by General Atomics Aeronautical Systems and officially called a Predator B, is able to spot illegal border activity and send images in real time to border officials. At that point, Border Patrol agents could be dispatched, according to Customs and Border Protection.” (Click here for more)

Click here for the Rolling Stones

The secret word is Spy

SEX EDUCATION ISN’T WHAT IT USED TO BE

Click here for Buddy Holly

HERE ON DOC40 CUTE IS SEVERELY RATIONED #2

But, damn, it’s a bear with a bear.

Click here for Henry Hall
Click here for Elvis

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S # 73

An author who goes by the name of "Fridays"? (I can’t think up an appropriate TGI pun. Can you?)

SPACE OPERA (Another Frazetta)

Frank Frazetta was not as well known for his space art as he was for the sword and sorcery stuff, but this is beautiful.

THE SAGA OF “THIS MAN”

I am maybe a late-comer to the mythology of This Man, but he’s such a paranoid gem that I can’t just let him pass. The idea of increasing numbers of people having the same dream is something that could take us from H. P. Lovecraft to Arthur C. Clarke (in Childhood’s End mode), via Rod Serling, and I would happily steal it as an element for Renquist V but sadly it’s too late for that. The saga of This Man starts with…
A Legend
“From January 2006 until today, at least 2000 people have claimed they have seen this man in their dreams, in many cities all over the world: Los Angeles, Berlin, Sao Paulo, Tehran, Beijing, Rome, Barcelona, Stockholm, Paris, New Dehli, Moscow etc. At the moment there is no ascertained relation or common trait among the people that have dreamed of seeing this man. Moreover, no living man has ever been recognized as resembling the man of the portrait by the people who have seen this man in their dreams.”

The legend is followed by…
A Theory
“This Man is a real person who can enter people's dreams by means of specific psychological skills. Some believe that in real life this man looks like the man in the dreams. Others think that the man in the dreams looks completely different from his real life counterpart. Some people seem to believe that behind this man there is a mental conditioning plan developed by a major corporation.”

Then comes…
The Debunking
“This Man turns out to be the creation of Andrea Natella, the director of Guerriglia Marketing, an advertising agency that uses non-conventional communication techniques, like the creation of fictitious events or campaigns reaching the limits of legality, which stages "subversive hoaxes" and creates weird art projects that are mostly about pornography, politics, and advertising.”

Debunking is naturally followed by
The Movie Deal
“Sam Raimi’s Ghost House Pictures is putting together This Man, which will be written and directed by Bryan Bertino, who last directed The Stranger for Rogue Pictures. A press release from Ghost House says the story is “based on real life accounts,” and will follow “an ordinary guy who discovers that people he has never met are seeing him in their dreams. Now he must find out why he is the source of nightmares for strangers all over the world.”

But – and here’s the bit I really like – after all of the above has come to pass, hundreds people really start to dream about This Man. We have to double down on the conspiracy theories, and mass panic breaks out. Can’t you just visualize the endless potential, and don’t you just love it?

Click here for the original This Man
Click here for a weird This Man video
Click here for the Everly Brothers

The secret word is Spooky

AND WHILE THE SECRET WORD IS SPOOKY...

Click here for the most surreal Max Fleischer Betty Boop ever – except for maybe the one in which the clown discovers the big mega-switch and turns off the planet’s gravity, but I haven’t found that one on the web.

DEFEND CIVILIZATION! (As we know it?)

Missile Command was a machine in the pub in the 1970s and the very last videogame I knew how to play, and even then I wasn’t aware I was defending the planet Zardon. Hell, I thought I was defending Bristol or Milwaukee, and the fun was always in the virtual potential for the mass destruction of millions of humans. If I’d known it was just Zardon, I probably wouldn’t have bothered.

Click here for Bruce Cockburn

GRATUITOUS LIZ

FINALLY FRAZETTA

Yesterday we marked and mourned the passing of the great Frank Frazetta. Click here for a slide show of his work.

LEGAL DOPE – EVERYONE HAS A PROBLEM

A while ago we noted how the Humboldt marijuana growers where moaning about their possible loss of income in the event of legal dope in California, and now, with Washington DC teetering on the brink of allowing medical marijuana, doctors have started pissing and moaning about how they don’t know how to control dosage and other nonsense.

“For doctors such as Pradeep Chopra, long accustomed to prescribing carefully tested medications by the exact milligram, medical marijuana presents a particular conundrum. On Tuesday, the D.C. Council gave final approval to a bill establishing a legal medical marijuana program. If Congress signs off, District doctors -- like their counterparts in 14 states, including Rhode Island, where Chopra works -- will be allowed to add pot to the therapies they can recommend to certain patients, who will then eat it, smoke it or vaporize it until they decide they are, well, high enough. The exact dosage and means of delivery -- as well as the sometimes perplexing process of obtaining a drug that remains illegal under federal law -- will be left largely up to the patient. And that, Chopra said, upends the way doctors are used to dispensing medication, giving the strait-laced medical establishment a whiff of the freewheeling world of weed. Even in states that allow for marijuana's medical use, doctors cannot write prescriptions for it because of the drug's status as an illegal substance. Physicians can only recommend it. And they have no control over the quality of the drug their patients acquire. "I worry about that," said Chopra, a pain medicine specialist. "That's what's throwing a lot of [doctors] off." The District's measure, like those elsewhere, specifies certain conditions and illnesses that qualify for medical marijuana. A patient who has HIV, glaucoma, multiple sclerosis, cancer or a chronic debilitating condition will be able to receive a doctor's recommendation to possess up to four ounces in a 30-day period. Unlike in many states, the District law would not allow patients and caregivers to grow their own marijuana, at least initially; an advisory committee would later decide whether to permit cultivation. Until then, patients could only acquire the drug illegally or from five to eight government-regulated dispensaries. Hunter Groninger, medical director for palliative care at Washington Hospital Center, said he would be uncomfortable recommending marijuana because the medical community doesn't know enough about its benefits. Because there are no uniform standards for medical marijuana, doctors have to rely on the experience of other doctors and their own judgment. That, they say, can lead to abuse.” (Click here for more)

Click here for The Rolling Stones

The secret word is Procrastination

Frank Frazetta -- RIP

I MEAN, SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE ABOUT ALL THESE DAMNED DRUGS

Click here for The Smoke

PUT ON AN IRON SHIRT…

HCB our friend, home-boy, and once-and-future co-conspirator has a fine review of Iron Man 2 on the Culture Catch site.

“It might be fair to say that what Vanko really wants is to humiliate the rich, handsome, babe-magnet Stark because he’s spent his entire life in a dark, decrepit Moscow hovel with his bitter, dying alcoholic dad. Seems like there’s more than a whiff of old-school Soviet Union/American Cold War jealousy at work here. Nevertheless, Vanko does manage to montage his way through the construction of a state-of-the-art Stark-killing supersuit in his filthy living room, pay for a ticket to the Riviera, kill a number of unfortunate race car drivers at the Grand Prix, and get brought in through the back door to work for Stark’s wealthiest competitor. You’d think getting bottomless funding, unlimited resources, and a staggering amount of Stark-worthy ass kissing would mellow the guy, but you’d be wrong.” (Click here for the whole thing)

Click here for Max Romeo remix

THE GIRLS ALL AGREE

“The lady from yesterday, the one in the bikini, was certainly right about the Tommy Gun.”

Click here for Warren Zevon

SUNDAY BREAKFAST (Capitalism In Action)

Today’s breakfast is symbolic, phallic, and satiric as the cat and I rest up and brace ourselves for a coming week of what may well be continued chaos. The ad campaign is from a nightmare. (Can you imagine the ad agency meetings?) The boy is plainly a nasty little plutocrat bully who thinks he's winning, but the little girl is holding all the bananas.

Click here for the Everly Brothers
Click here for The Who

Lena Horne -- RIP

BUT DON’T FORGET…

“With a bikini, matching heels, a coffin, a Thompson submachine gun, and a very nice art nouveau lamp, a girl can go just about anywhere.”

GET OUT OF THERE!

Click here for the video.

BUT…

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Emmaline Frozdick had been warned to stay away from the Black Lagoon.