Here at the Doc40 funhouse we have talked much over the
years about the coming Catapocalypse when cats will become the ruling species
on the planet. Recent evidence, however, (submitted by our pal SAS) would seem to indicate that the
Central Intelligence Agency may have been in on the act for half a century. The
real question is was the CIA exploiting the cats, or were the cats playing the
spooks.
“In the 1960s, the Central Intelligence Agency recruited an
unusual field agent: a cat. In an hour-long procedure, a veterinary surgeon
transformed the furry feline into an elite spy, implanting a microphone in her
ear canal and a small radio transmitter at the base of her skull, and weaving a
thin wire antenna into her long gray-and-white fur. This was Operation Acoustic
Kitty, a top-secret plan to turn a cat into a living, walking surveillance
machine. The leaders of the project hoped that by training the feline to go sit
near foreign officials, they could eavesdrop on private conversations.
The problem was that cats are not especially trainable—they
don’t have the same deep-seated desire to please a human master that dogs
do—and the agency’s robo-cat didn’t seem terribly interested in national
security. For its first official test, CIA staffers drove
Acoustic Kitty to the park and tasked it with capturing the
conversation of two men sitting on a bench. Instead, the cat wandered into the
street, where it was promptly squashed by a taxi. The program was abandoned; as
a heavily redacted CIA memo from the time delicately phrased it, “Our final
examination of trained cats . . . convinced us that the program would not lend
itself in a practical sense to our highly specialized needs.” (Those
specialized needs, one assumes, include a decidedly unflattened feline.)
Operation Acoustic Kitty, misadventure though it was, was a
visionary idea just fifty years before its time. Today, once again, the U.S.
government is looking to animal- machine hybrids to safeguard the country and
its citizens. In 2006, for example, DARPA zeroed in on insects, asking the
nation’s scientists to submit “innovative proposals to develop technology to
create insect-cyborgs.” (Click here for the whole story)
The secret word is Purr