Wednesday, September 10, 2008

BREAKING NEWS (12.47am PST)

World's largest particle collider fires protons across 17-mile tunnel in Europe. And we're still here. (I think I have mixed feelings.)

15 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:02 AM

    Definitely mixed. A black hole could have been a trip. To where I have no idea, but a trip.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey... you never know, it might just take a while to warm up & go boom.

    Meanwhile, at least there are more opportunities for many of us to inebriate ourselves, eat tasty things & hedonistically gratify the self in a variety of fashions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have a point there, Faux. Let's wait and wonder.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous3:18 AM

    They only switched the thing on today - the actual experiments don't start until next month. Nothing remotely dangerous will be happening today and therefore everyone's artificially enhanced fears will have been allayed.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous4:25 AM

    You just think nothing happened because you are lost on Level 1 inebriating yourselves and hedonistically gratifying.

    The wend of the world is high.

    Sorry

    The end of the norld is why

    The why of the world is the end.

    Get it right in a minute

    The end of the world is nigh.

    The night.

    That's it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I may be a jaded, cynical old dog, but the switch-on of the Large Hadron Collider looks to me like a load of hype frothed up by credulous hacks on a freebie junket to Switzerland. It's also cross-making when arch-bore Stephen Hawking is allowed to pontificate in public once more - especially, when as an EU resident, I'm indirectly paying for the darn thing (the LHC, not Mr Hawking).

    Rant over - Faux' excuse for hedonistic gratification is good. I'll start by visiting the M&S on Great Marlborough Street for a tuna and sweetcorn sandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous5:55 AM

    There was no explosion, or rend in time and space, but for some reason my testicles are now the size of cantaloupes and are bright nagenta. Weird, huh?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous6:09 AM

    Or Magenta...same/same.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You fools! It did kill you all, it just recreated the entire universe while you were sleeping. Watch out for the new shit it added, suckers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous12:04 PM

    I am looking very carefully for anomalies.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've just developed a mild headache, could it be linked?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous3:58 PM

    Has to be.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous3:53 PM

    The rooms in my home are changing size.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous4:15 PM

    It was all prophesied in the word verification if you only knew how to read it.

    ReplyDelete