"Do we look like the kind of girls who’d fuck Lemmy?"

LEMMY TOPS MAGIC BUT DON’T BEAT JACK
The following comes from Betsy with – I surmise – a considerable lading of irony...

Maxim's Top 10 Living Legends of Sex - and the number of women they are alleged to have slept with:
10. Bill Wyman (Rolling Stones bassist) - 1,000
9. Earvin (Magic) Johnson (basketball star) - 1,000
8. Lemmy Kilmister (Motorhead frontman) - 1,200
7. Jack Nicholson (actor) - 2,000
6. Ilie Nastase (tennis star) - 2,500
5. Engelbert Humperdinck (singer) - 3,000
4. Julio Iglesias (singer) - 3,000
3. Gene Simmons (Kiss frontman) - 4,600
2. Charlie Sheen (actor) - 5,000
1. Umberto Billo (Venetian hotel porter) - 8,000

Okay, so that’s the kind of stuff you expect in Maxim, but since the mag is owned by one of my oldest, dearest and richest friends, I won’t belabor the point, but imagine my surprise when I saw the name another old comrade right there on the list. My one time song-writing partner and up-all-week amphetamine buddy Lemmy Kilmister was there at number eight, immediately below Jack Nicholson. I figure the list can only have been based on the boasting of those listed, but, in Lemmy’s case, I totally believe him. Many a time I have seen the man leave a perfectly viable drunken brawl or paranoid fantasy to get himself blown by some pinwheeling distaff damage case. That was just the way he was and good luck to the both of them. My only reservation is to wonder if a gentleman should really keep count, and, if you spend that much of your time engaged in casual fucking, how the hell you have time to do the math?

The secret word is Hump

CRYPTIQUE – Happiness is a warm poppy.