DEAD FINGER IN THE BUN

You though this was an urban legend? Hell no. It really happened.

“When Ryan Hart, 14, bit into an Arby's roast beef sandwich last week, he got a bit more than he bargained for. The "bonus" meat was a severed finger. Steve Hall, environmental health director for the Jackson County Health Department, tells the Citizen Patriot an Arby's employee had sliced her finger while operating a meat slicer and left her station without immediately telling anyone what happened. Other workers were filling an order before they became aware of the situation, Hall says. The restaurant did not close.

"Somebody loses a finger, and you keep sending food out the window? I can't believe that," says Ryan's mom, Jamie Vail.” Click here if you still don’t believe it.  

Click here for James Last’s Silver Machine. You’ll hardly believe that either. (supplied by our pal Nigel)

The secret word is Meat

(Our Lady Of The) SPACE OPERA

GRATUITOUS KATE MOSS

THIS IS HUGO CHAVEZ…

The US media portray Hugo Chavez as either a clown or a despot but this piece in The Guardian tends to indicate that he may have a possible route to the future.

"The words and inspiration of Chávez have had an effect beyond Venezuela. They have encouraged Argentina to default on its debt; to reorganise its economy thereafter and to renationalise its oil industry. Chávez has helped Evo Morales of Bolivia to run its oil and gas industry for the benefit of the country rather than its foreign shareholders, and more recently to halt the robbery by Spain of the profits of its electric company. Above all, he has shown the countries of Latin America that there is an alternative to the single neoliberal message that has been endlessly broadcast for decades, by governments and the media in hock to an outdated ideology. Now is the time for that alternative message to be heard further afield, to be listened to by voters in Europe. In Latin America, governments following an alternative strategy have been re-elected time and time again, suggesting that it is effective and popular. In Europe, governments of whatever hue that follow the standard neoliberal template seem to fall at the first fence, suggesting that the will of the people is not engaged.” Click here for more

If you’re not going anywhere click here for weird Bob (Feed the cat)

The secret word is Innovate 

THE SEARCH IS FOR AN ALTERNATIVE

MARILYN SEZ

“Now I’m an ugly 20 foot statue in Palm Springs.” (Image supplied by Somegirl) 

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING

I like bacon, but bacon soda? 

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING 2

Shall we get real? Sid was not Hello Kitty. This motherfucker was a psycho junkie who stabbed his girlfriend and you wouldn’t want your kids anywhere near him. 

GRATUITOUS BARDOT

OVER CONSUMPTION WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL

Humanity is allegedly the only species aware of its own mortality but we also behave as though there was no tomorrow.

“Humans are using 50 percent more resources than the Earth can provide, and unless fundamental changes are made in the way we produce energy, food, and if we cannot curb our consumption of other natural resources that number will continue to skyrocket, according to a new report. Released today by the the World Wildlife Fund, The Living Planet Report, warns that if humans cannot shift their behavior by 2030, even two planets will not be enough to support modern society. High income nations – which translates into high levels of consumption -- are doing the most damage to the planet per capita. The report names Qatar as the country with the largest ecological footprint, followed by its Gulf Arab neighbours Kuwait and the United Arab Emirates. Denmark and the United States made up the remaining top five, calculated by comparing the renewable resources consumed against the earth's regenerative capacity. Though the WWF's survey follows many others as it paints a grim scenario of the cumulative pressure humankind is putting on the planet, and the consequent decline in the health of the world's forests, rivers and oceans, it also makes note of the many available solutions. "We do have a choice," write Jim Leape, WWF International's director general. "We can create a prosperous future that pro- vides food, water and energy for the 9 or perhaps 10 billion people who will be sharing the planet in 2050." Click here for more. 

Click here for The Who

The secret word is Greed

OVER CONSUMPTION WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL – 2

OVER CONSUMPTION WILL BE THE DEATH OF US ALL – 3

Art by Terry Rogers click here for more (Sent by HCB) 

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

The closest Vern Frozdick ever came to fame was frisking Truman Capote 

IT’S DOWN AT THE END OF…

IT’S LIFE AND LIFE ONLY

As our so-called leaders relentlessly drive the planet deeper into the material swamp, both politicians and captains of industry too plainly demonstrate that not only are they arrogant narcissists and mendacious thieves – which is to be expected – but also wholly inept arrogant narcissists and mendacious thieves – which is easily ten times worse. Meanwhile the loss of Duck Dunn reminds me that I have reached an age when members of my extended peer group are dropping like flies. In a moment when the aches and pains became tiresome I was heard to mutter that I was starting to know how the good Dr. Thompson felt before he offed himself. My comrades looked at me in horror and I had to explain that I might be hitting the codeine, but I really had no intention of going down on my Colt 1911. In fact, life serves me well. The despicable Rebekah Brooks has been charged with conspiracy and I can gloatingly watch her squirm on TV. The Deviants seem set fair to do well in the coming months, new poetic ideas are starting to flow, and good shit that I can’t quite going into yet is appearing on the horizon. To make my life affirming point, I even quoted Dorothy Parker on the subject of survival…       

“Razors pain you;

Rivers are damp;

Acids stain you;

And drugs cause cramp.

Guns aren't lawful;

Nooses give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.”

Click here for the inevitable Elvis

The secret word is Optimism

THE TV TOLD ME (So it must be true)

JACK ELAM’S FINEST MOMENT

Click here for the opening sequence of Once Upon A Time In The West contains what has to be Jack Elam’s finest screen moment.

THEY’LL TAKE MY LEGO WHEN THEY PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS

SPACE OPERA

SUNDAY BREAKFAST (Is It A Bird, Is It A Plane?)

No, it’s the news that the world may not end on December 21^st according to this newly unearthed Mayan calendar, something that I view with somewhat mixed feelings. Okay so it’s nice to go on living, but I’m also a little disappointed. A good all-consuming cosmic apocalypse is always tons of fun. I’m not sure quite how many of them I’ve lived through already. I do recall there were two in 1999 alone. July of that year was supposed to bring holy terror of Nostradamus’ bad boy in the blue turban but he failed to materialize. And, of course, at the end of the year, there was the Y2K scare in which every computer on the planet would malfunction and we’d all be hurled back into a very unpleasant stone age. But that too never came to pass, although, merchants in Middle America made a killing – so to speak – selling portable generators, canned food, and pump-action shotguns to a paranoid populace. That’s the charm of a good End Time. First comes the panic verging on farce, and then the sheepish climb-down when we wake up find ourselves still alive. If the Mayan calendar is really out of the running, roll on The Rapture.       

“One array of numbers would be particularly intriguing to doomsday debunkers: lists that appear to denote wide ranges of accumulated time, including a 17-baktun period. "There was a lot more to the Maya calendar than just 13 baktuns," Stuart observed. Seventeen baktuns would stand for about 6,700 years, which is much longer than the 13-baktun cycle of 5,125 years. However, Stuart cautioned that the time notation shouldn't be read as specifying a date that's farther in the future than Dec. 21. "It may just be that this is a mathematical number that they find interesting, kind of floating in time," he told me. "But it certainly is expressing a capacity of time. If they were calculating something from their time period, around 800 A.D., yeah, this would have gone way beyond 2012. But again, we're not sure exactly what the base of the calculation is." Click here for more.

Click here for Jimi (supposedly)

The secret word is Exit

MARILYN SEZ…

“The future’s uncertain and the end is always near.”

JIM SEZ…

“Actually I said that.”

SPACE OPERA

MOTORMERCH

We always like to see what new merchandise our pal Lemmy is hawking to the fans. In this instance, I fear, you only get the belt.  

OBAMA ENDORSES GAY MARRIAGE AND SO DOES CLINT

Click here the Dixie Cups

The secret word is Spliced 

YET (like Organized Crime) ORGANIZED RELIGION SURVIVES

OUR LADY OF KRYPTON

Click here for Lennox & Bowie

GRATUITOUS NUNS

MARILYN SEZ…

“We’ll all burn in hell for this.” 

DON’T WORRY, THOUGH, NORWEGIAN DEATH METAL WILL SAVE US

Click here for a whole bunch if it.

HOPE SPRINGS ECONOMICAL

With Greece and France turning hard to the left and Cameron taking a localized beating it’s now only Germany that stands in the way of economic sanity in the Europe. I won’t make the obvious comment. I’ll just quote Paul Krugman…

“The Germans, needless to say, don’t like this conclusion, nor does the leadership of the central bank. They will cling to their fantasies of prosperity through pain, and will insist that continuing with their failed strategy is the only responsible thing to do. But it seems that they will no longer have unquestioning support from the Élysée Palace. And that, believe it or not, means that both the euro and the European project now have a better chance of surviving than they did a few days ago.”

Click here for Bob

The secret word is Panzer 

A REMINDER...

…of how capitalism used to work and still does – with the same underlying attitudes – except, unlike Henry Ford, no one today is about to double wages to stabilize the workforce or even ensure that the workers earn enough to buy the product.

"Ford's assembly line and his production techniques in general were exemplars of 'scientific management,' a phrase and approach made popular by Philadelphia engineer and businessman Frederick Winslow Taylor. Taylor was one of the nation's first specialists in shop-floor management, and his short book The Principles of Scientific Management was the best-selling business book of the first half of the twentieth century. Taylor believed that workplaces could be made more efficient by training, inducing, and compelling workers to labor more steadily and intensively. He conducted time and motion studies to analyze the tasks workers were expected to perform and then encouraged employers to reorganize the work process to minimize wasted motion and time. He also favored piece-rate payment schemes to compel employees, many of whom he described as 'stupid,' to work more quickly. 'Faster work can be assured,' wrote Taylor, 'only through enforced standardization of methods, enforced adop­tion of the best implements... and enforced cooperation.’. Not surprisingly, most industrial workers resisted such schemes. One worker at the Ford Motor Company com­plained that 'when the whistle blows he starts to jerk and when the whistle blows again he stops jerking.' At Ford and elsewhere, a common response to the brutal intensification of work was absenteeism and high quit rates: in 1913, Ford's daily absentee rate was 10 percent, while annual turnover ex­ceeded 350 percent. To reduce turnover, which was costly to the company, Ford doubled the daily wages of his most val­ued employees, to five dollars a day. This strategy was successful in stabilizing the labor force and reducing operating costs." Pauline Maier, Merritt Roe Smith, Alexander Keyssar, and Daniel J. Kevles; Inventing America (Norton)

SOMEONE HAD TO ASK

Click here for Laurie Anderson

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

Buster Frozdick knew how to deal with killer robots. 

GRATUITOUS DENEUVE

Since, today on Doc40, we like all things French. 

SUNDAY BREAKFAST

The speed at which almost everything in the modern world becomes grist for the all consuming mill of the mass culture can be both alarming and depressing. Okay so Marshall McLuhan predicted it as “the speed-up”, but there are seemingly little or no limits to this capacity for the media to absorb anything that comes to its notice. Take the instance of absinthe. Just a few short years ago, the deep green alcohol-based hallucinogen was a minority preserve of Bohemian degeneracy, with alluring resonances of Lautrec, Wilde and Aubrey Beardsley. No longer. Last week on the British evening TV mega-soap Eastenders, a dubious character called Derek Branning was selling contraband bottles of absinthe around the fictional Albert Square, and it was being covertly quaffed in the Queen Vic without a lace cuff or limp wrist in sight. This is, however, England. I doubt the wicked green fairy will penetrate US network prudery any time soon or find its way into the sterile corridors of General Hospital. That maybe another reason I came home.     

Click here for Green Onions

The secret word is Wormwood

MARILYN SEZ…

“One day an emerald goddess, the next a consumer product.” 

NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

SPACE OPERA

“We’re just waiting around to fuck Jim Kirk and then die at the end of the episode. “

MAYBE I’M EXAGGERATING…

…but you have to forgive my shameless glee as smug turns to squirm and I gloat at the stammering excuses of Cameron and his heartless, hopeless, and contemptible crew. I’m determined to enjoy myself while I can because I already sense a dangerous temptation streaking the horizon. Do the French elections, the protests across Europe and even about-turns by previously conservative indicate the world may finally be waking to the realization that the global economy will not be healed by punitive austerity and the victimization of the underprivileged? And the dangerous temptation? The last time I was lured into bringing my hopes and energy to the voting process was for the Obama election and that disappointment was enough to move me back to the UK.

Click here for Sam Cooke

The secret word is Revel

THE FROZDICK FAMILY

When Sophia Frozdick renounced material possessions, her only compromise was hold on to her bucket. 

THE 100TH EDITION OF DOC’S PAPERBACK CLASSICS

And in it’s honour we attempt to present something a little more elevated that the usual pulp, tat, trash, and lesbians, but don’t worry, kids, they’ll all be back before you know it.  

"NO, MY DEAR, THERE ISN’T LIFE ON MARS"

Click here for the Ran-Dells

GRATUITOUS TRACI

“CAN YOU TELL ME WHERE WE'RE HEADIN’? LINCOLN COUNTY ROAD OR ARMAGEDDON?”

All too frequently this mortal coil presents itself as a conveyor belt of choices. Drink or drive, rant or rave, poem or polemic, wastrel or worker, wolf or whore, stoic or stoned, pilgrim or pistoleer, fucked or favoured, fear or Fender, barroom or barricade, deacon or dog-boy, chaos or conformity, hawk or handsaw, seer or songbird, carrion or carry-on, foreman, follower or maybe fool? Or serf or surfer, referee or renegade, mistress or miscreant, Saracen or slave, harm or harmony, hero or villain? Should we find ourselves driven to the random and overused refuge of Ecclesiastes 3:1 and that ancient need to believe that for everything there is a season, and a time to every wretched purpose under the heaven? A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to kill, and a time to heal? Wither points the complexity of signposts for souls without roadmaps. Weep or laugh; mourn or dance; rend or sew; keep silence or speak; embrace or refrain from embracing. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace; it never ceases.

Clock here for Bob

The secret word is Please

THE CROSSROADS, OF COURSE, NARROWS IT ALL DOWN TO A BINARY PREFERENCE

Click here for Robert Johnson.

AND EVEN IN THESE HARD TIMES CAREER CHOICES ARE POSSIBLE