HAMSTER DOING WHAT?

Four million people have watched this. Plus it’s a slow day, so why be different? Click now.

No hamsters were harmed in the uploading of this post.

2009

Is this the 40th year of Zentar?

NOT SO UNIQUE

By way of a greeting, Munz sent us what is maybe the greatest ever piece of social indignation in a movie, and a reminder that our current global woes are just more of the same. (Click here.)

The secret words are Mad As Hell

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

On the first day of the year, Uncle Bill is unhappy with his new metal shelves.

IN THE COMING YEAR THIS BLOG WILL STILL BE PROTECTED BY...

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part z90)

In which Marilyn is confronted by an untenable situation but decides to make the best of it. The Reptile Kings of Xanku had, with a burst of their all too frequent capacity for increasing the difficulty of already difficult situations, insisted that not only did Marilyn wear the truly absurd super-heroine costume for the upcoming mission against the Brain Eaters, but that the wholly incongruous garment should be initiated and energized in a ritual ceremony to be performed in front the Xanku I-Corps, who, as far as Marilyn was concerned, resembled nothing more than a scaly crowd of belly-slithering, illiterate sociopaths, seemingly high on cheap energy-enhancing chemical products. As if this wasn’t bad enough, she had only discovered that the accursed outfit was topless just minutes before the start of the festivities at which she had clearly been promised as the star attraction. Under more normal circumstances, she would have dug in her heels and refused to go any further with the charade. The Reptile Kings of Xanku were, however, a crucial – if less than reliable – segment of The Grand Alliance, and, in the interests of the mission, she decided to play along. As she told herself while she smiled her widest, most engaging, if secretly mocking smile, gripped her power-sword, and raised the costume’s vision-mask, it wasn’t the first time she had stood topless in the presence of loathsome snakes.

(Image supplied by Proscriptus)

THE PASSING OF P&G

The following was sent by Betsy…
Dec. 31 will be your last chance to drink at the famed P&G bar on West 73d Street and Amsterdam Avenue. The 66-year-old Upper West Side watering hole has been forced out of its home and is moving several blocks up, to Columbus Avenue and West 78th Street. This could also be one your last chances to bask in the glow of P&G's great sign. It's not yet clear whether the great neon assemblage will be able to make the move to the former home of Evelyn Lounge, named after Evelyn Nesbit (the Girl in the Red Velvet Swing) who is said to have lived in what will be the P&G's new home.

Click for the full story in the New York Times

For as long as I lived in New York, I would stop by the P&G when I was on the Upper West Side to avail myself of a particularly old school drink or three with an equally old school bartender who was a dead ringer for the actor Hal Linden. And even when passing by in a car or cab, the P&G’s friendly neon provided the alcoholic soul with a Manhattan moment of solace that maybe everything wasn’t as bad with the world as it seemed. I hope there will be a follow-up to this story because Doc40 would like to know if a successful transition was made to the new location and the neon survived the transplant.

The secret word is Yesterday

AND FROM ANOTHER ANGLE...

Freddie Hubbard -- RIP

HUH?

Just click here.

BOXING DAY

I try to observe the Brit tradition of Boxing Day and spend 12/26 doing precisely nothing, but when, against my better judgment, I turned on my computer and discovered that a diatribe of mine against the games Guitar Hero and Rock Band had posted on Yahoo and racked some 1500 comments, my ego figured I should pass it along before it went away. (Click Here)

EARTHA KITT – RIP

The secret word is Hungover

HAVE THE ULTIMATE YULE, MY FRIENDS

"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know… the birth of Santa." -- Bart Simpson

(Image and quote suppied by Valerie)

The secret word is Fruitcake

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

On Christmas Eve, Uncle Bill and his young friend take their guns and hunt art.

But click here to watch The Junky’s Christmas.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS...

I know I keep promising to forget about Trailer Palin, but it is Xmas. (And if I was technically proficient I would make the nose flash rhythmically. His, not her’s.)

...AND A LETTER CAME FROM GOD

(Forwarded by JD, but sounding a tad like Mick Jagger.) Click here.

NAUGHTY OR NICE, COMRADES?

After the uprising, the 14th International will replace Santa with the People’s Airborne Gift System. (PAGS) It will commanded by the Commissar of Chimney’s. (COC)

PENGUIN ABUSE

It’s an ancient tradition at Doc 40, going back to at least 2006, that we always provide a Yuletide link to the noble sport of penguin whacking. This year is no exception so click here.

And, for an added bonus in these dire times, here are two new variations of the game.
Click and click.

SEEMS LIKE WE GOT IT WRONG

Oh dear. Seems as though we jumped the gun, rushed to judgment, laughed too soon, and were wrong in our assumptions. The drug for which Bristol Palin’s possible future mother-in-law was busted turns out not to be speed at all, (see last Saturday) but oxycontin, that good old hillbilly heroin.

"WASILLA, Alaska — Wasilla resident Sherry L. Johnston, mother of Bristol Palin's boyfriend, faces a Jan. 6 court date for an oxycontin-related arrest at her home by Alaska State Troopers. Little additional information was available Friday on the case as authorities remained unusually tight-lipped about details. But Palmer court records listed Johnston's scheduled court date and a troopers spokeswoman said in a release late Friday afternoon that the charges "are in relation to the drug oxycontin." (Click for more.)

The secret word is Vengeance

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part 2131)

In which Marilyn sits pensive and discontented. “They send me on all these wretched adventures but do they really give a damn about me?” She reflects upon how untenable her role in the multiverse has become, and how weary she is with the ceaselessly shifting set up and the irrationality of the Random Flips. She grimly fumes at the nonsensical orders from the 14th International, and the constant reminders, transmitted by jackbooted chorus boys at Timereich S7 Macro, of the apocalyptic consequences of an accidental meeting with any of the infinite number of her Norma Jean Variables. And if that wasn’t bad enough, she finds herself in the perpetual vice between the too-certain, judgmental, goddess-hating Apollolonians to the right of her, and the too-horny, drunken, trigger-happy Dionysian to the left. Meanwhile the middle ground just squirms like a slimy clone vat with the likes of The Unspeakable Zero Brothers, Archbishop Moriarty and his Diamond Dogs, plus all the benighted hick-demons who are too stupid to recognize they're locked in the repeating depression killer-cycles of a Kellogg Rift. And, finally, floating over everything, are the tedious goddamned aliens, with their anal probes, their temporal calibrators, and their deathrays. Marilyn sighs deeply. “How long to they seriously expect me to keep on doing this?”

THIS MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY ODD COMIC BOOK

I must confess I am more than pleased that it didn't succeed. Our popular culture is sufficiently neurotic, and this might have pushed it into some very weird dimensions.

The secret word is Issues

CRAZY ABOUT MAD

When Mark Haspan recently posted a comment noting an definite undertow of Mad magazine in the works of Doc40, I responded with a smile that Mad had been a seminal influence on everything I would subsequently do. Mad clued in a pre-teen English wannabe-hipster to a great deal that he knew he needed to know, from Jack Kerouac, to the above Marlon Brando, to making Edgar Allen Poe enjoyable. Last year I wrote more about Mad in LA CityBeat celebrating how they had gone after Bush from the get go. Click here to read.

BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT ALL…

…as they say on the TV mail order commercials. Here’s some more of that fine Wally Wood art.

YOU CAN TAKE THE TRASH OUT OF THE TRAILER, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE TRAILER OUT OF THE TRASH

No matter how vehemently I resolve to never mention Klondike Barbie ever again, stuff keeps happening. I mean, here am I with a book charting the cultural history of amphetamine being published next year, and I should stand by my word and not crow like Nelson Munz (Ha-ha!) when Keith Olbermann tells me how Palin’s daughter’s prospective mother-in-law has been busted for possession and manufacture of unnamed substances? I don’t think so. (Ha-ha!) I make too many rash promises. And when Wasilla is widely described as The Meth Capital of Alaska, one can only assume the offending substance is speed. (Ha-ha!) Thus, in a crude nutshell, it’s been revealed to us that the Gov’s daughter was knocked up by the son of the local lady meth cooker. (Ha-ha!) Another vignette of small town family values? It would make a movie-of-the-week if we still had such things.

The secret word is Crank

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

The wino on the bench insulted Uncle Bill’s new suit. Uncle Bill knocked his hat off and beat him mercilessly.

VICTIM BARBIE?

Here at Doc40, for reasons better not discussed, we always keep half an eye on Mattel and Barbie if only as a plastic bellwether of the times. The promo blurb reads – “In 1963, Alfred Hitchcock, the Master of Suspense, gave us a tale of terror not soon forgotten in his film “The Birds.” Dressed in a re-creation of the stylish green skirt-suit worn by the film’s ill-fated heroine in an iconic scene, Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” Barbie® Doll celebrates the 45th anniversary of the acclaimed film. From the doll’s classic ensemble to the perfectly painted expression to the accompanying black birds, every aspect captures the film’s infamous appeal.” But is this a little weird or what? And what other victim Barbie dolls might be coming to a Toys R Us near you real soon? Elm Street Barbie? Halloween Barbie? Bates Motel Barbie? Or Barbies modeled on a few of the Marquis de Sade’s girlfriends?

The secret word is Malibu

THIS MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY ODD MAGAZINE EVEN FOR 1950

I have no other information but, if I’d been around, I’d probably have wound up working for it.

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND

Finn is a new arrival at the Doc40 household. He is five months old, a trainee terrorist and quite a handful, and he came to me from an animal rescue group with the help of his Three Godmothers. For a while I wondered if to adopt him so soon was disrespecting the memory of the sorely missed Newton, but I was persuaded by my friends that a new kitten would point me outward, and I think they were right.

YOU KNOW TIMES ARE BAD WHEN...

…this is the only use left for your credit card.

LAST SUMMER REVISITED

A week ago today, I ran a picture of Elizabeth Taylor in Suddenly Last Summer for no really good reason except that it was there and I liked it. Our pal Valerie in Barcelona responded with this great shot which, one can only assume, was taken a while later after the scene wrapped. Valerie also noted in the accompanying email, “Had always seemed like Italy to me probably because of shades of Pasolini. Till a visit a couple of years ago to S'Agaró, once a wild and wonderful place along the coast, where they still remember the filming. You can imagine the excitement for a tiny village in 50s Franco and church controlled Spain. The little Catalan boys who ate Montgomery Clift....”

The secret word is Falange

Davey Graham -- RIP

THE THIRD REICH SPACE PROGRAM

As some of you already know I have a schoolboy weakness for the entire mythology of Nazi space exploration, secret bases, and the Flugelrad (the Nazi flying saucer.) I totally indulged this fixation in the fourth and (so far) final Victor Renquist vampire novel, Underland – and if you haven’t read it, you really should. Our pal Jon emailed me a whole bunch of stuff under the general rubric of diesel-punk which included a link to this movie-in-production titled Iron Sky which really looks like fabulous stuff for those who like that sort of thing. Click here to watch a trailer, and here for the webpage.

The secret word is Achtung

TODAY IS BEETHOVEN'S BIRTHDAY

"Happy birthday, Ludwig Van."

THIS MAN IS NOT A JOKE

Yesterday we all had a good laugh when Muntadar al-Zeidi hurled his shoes at George Bush, and today some political activist sent me an email suggesting that we all send old shoes to Bush at the White House. It seemed, for a few minutes, to be a suitably goofy idea, but then the realization fell on me like a great weight that to think of George Bush as goofy is a dangerous mistake. He is a deadly combination of arrogance, ignorance, criminality, and uncaring incompetence, and that is something we should never forget. The cynical attempt to whitewash his disastrous presidency with the current Bush Legacy Project won’t fly. The man cannot plausibly reinvent himself as our first Dear Leader of the 21st century, but, at the same time, for him to be reduced to a figure of fun – the doofus who couldn’t get a book deal – is so much more than he deserves that it has to be rejected out of hand. The man is evil. He started two wars, wasted thousands of lives, attempted to create an American police state, left New Orleans to drown, and wantonly destroyed the national economy. Even now he is sowing a minefield of presidential orders to make the cleanup in the aftermath of his regime as difficult as possible. George Bush should probably be tried as war criminal, but US politics are such that this is unlikely to happen. But, for chrissakes, don’t let’s remember him with a smile.

The secret word is Iniquity

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part 8)

In which Marilyn, working as a fifth columnist for the Albert Hoffman Brigade of the Dionysian Red Legion, infiltrates the CAPCOM base of the government troops with the intention of using her goddess wiles for subvert the rank and file grunts, and sapping their will to fight before the inevitable battle when the rebels come down from the mountains. She experiences a moment of panic, however, when the sergeant wraps the silk scarf around her neck. Could he be a Thugee-trained strangler of Kali? But no. He has no idea of her true identity or mission. He’s just trying to buy her good will with gifts. Next thing, he’ll be offering her cigarettes, chocolate, and nylons. She knows she will easily bend him to her will. Hasta la victoria siempre.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO THROW SHOES...

We all seem to have heard about the Iraqi reporter who called George Bush a "dog" and threw his shoes at him earlier today. Our lovely friend Valerie sent a visual comment on what might have been if the reporter had proved more adventurous in his choice of footwear.

The secret word is Heel

(If you haven’t heard the story, click here.)

SECRET OF THE MOTORCADE

MrMR has once again clued us in…
“Have you ever wondered what all those extra SUVs are in the Presidential or VIP motorcades? You know, the ones with blacked windows that no one gets in or out of. Well, wonder no more. They are the heavyweight protection and have a 6-barreled 7.62 mm mini gun that fires over 4,000 rounds per minute. The vehicle is also armor plated, and the wipers need to be running to remove spent casings when the weapon is firing.” (Click here for a shoot 'em up promo video from the company that makes this monster.)

The secret word is Ratatatatatatatat!

AND TALKING OF CARS

After k2 posted his or her comment yesterday (see NO MONEY DOWN) I Googled the Nucleon and this is what I found…
“The Ford Nucleon was a nuclear-powered concept car developed by Ford Motor Company in 1958.. The design did not include an internal-combustion engine, rather, a vehicle was to be powered by a small nuclear reactor in the rear of the vehicle. The vehicle featured a power capsule suspended between twin booms at the rear. The capsule, which would contain radioactive core for motive power, was designed to be easily interchangeable, according to performance needs and the distances to be traveled. No operational models were built.” Which was probably very good for the health of the 20th century. (Click here for more.)

A REASONABLE QUESTION

“Did we finally reach Palookaville?”

YOU KNOW TIMES ARE BAD WHEN…

…up market strip joints like Scores in New York close their doors and go belly up. Scores was once the up-market lap-dance emporium where Howard Stern held court when he was the King of All Media. Now it’s history. As Fox News (who else) tells it…

“NEW YORK — The Manhattan strip club Scores is shutting down before the end of the year, company officials said, after surviving FBI raids and ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani's crusade against smut. Scores co-owner Elliot Osher confirmed the closing and said another club with new owners would open in its place at the foot of the Queensboro Bridge. The closing was blamed on a weak economy and the possibility that the club could lose its liquor license. State authorities this year revoked the liquor license for a spinoff version of the club on Manhattan's West Side after a police raid led to prostitution charges against several dancers. Scores first opened its doors on East 60th Street in 1991. A series of club spinoffs opened around the country, but many have since closed.”

The secret word is Liquidity

NO MONEY DOWN

I guess what I really want from Detroit is a car that’s lightweight, non-polluting, made in a union shop, and looks just like this. Like Eddie Cochrane once remarked, “there’s a car made just for me/to own that car would be a luxury.” Am I the only one who feels like this?

And HCB writes in an email, “the determined sonsobitches who pretend the way to save the auto industry is to eviscerate the workers. Union busters have their own subdivision in hell where they have to endlessly re-experience the Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire.”

BETTIE PAGE – RIP

LIZ ON THURSDAY

And it’s Liz posing unhappily on the beach in Tennessee Williams’ Suddenly Last Summer. I’d like to pretend I was so school-boy, hip-literate that I came to the work of Tennessee on it’s own merit, but the truth is that I went to see the movie because my dirty minded little homies told me Liz’s white, one-piece swimsuit became transparent when wet. When I actually shuffled into the cheap seats of the local cinema, I discovered that Suddenly Last Summer was a twisted epic in which Liz on the beach is attracting young boys for her husband Sebastian, and is later threatened with a lobotomy by Sebastian’s mom, played by Katherine Hepburn, who brings in Montgomery Clift (baby) to declare Liz insane when she threatens to blow the whistle on Sebastian’s predatory gaiety. And, after the whole story ended in cannibalism, there was no stopping me. I promptly boarded the streetcar to the glass menagerie. (And, around the same time, I also discovered the work of Hank – the other of the Williams boys.)

AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO SEBASTIAN

Who was eaten alive by the teen-boys he’d previously been debauching.

NOTHING MUCH CHANGES EXCEPT THE COSTUMES...

...and the style and the bells and whistles. Although we do have admit that we're suckers for the innocent simplicity and historical romance of that old time revolution. Thanks anonymous.(Click here for a larger image.)

The secret word is Plutocrat

OUR WHACKY UNCLE BILL

Uncle Bill enters by the exit to confuse those who are not paying attention.

This blog is sanctioned by Shiva.

VIDEO GAMES AS A REHEARSAL FOR THE REAL THING

The following came from our pal Faux Smoke. I have posted it in it's entirety. The links are hot.

"So, out of boredom, I put this together & now I'm probably going to post it somewhere or another & email it to a few people... I figure, you probably get a hell of a lot more traffic than I do, to say the least. So I'm sending it to you & presuming you read it, you might decide to consider whether this is worth a post on your blog or not. No worries or concern either way, like I said, I did this out of boredom so don't think its my life's work or anything. End Note ]

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3171494

& BAM! A recruitment center in Second Life is the answer?

http://tech.yahoo.com/news/zd/20081205/tc_zd/234710

If you're wondering what exactly Second Life is, well... here's the wikipedia page

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Life

Me personally... I don't play crap like Second Life & think that the military fucked up by making a choice to promote through the game, they'd probably have had better luck through a number of other franchise titles. Call of Duty... Medal of Honor... on & on, I could make a list of games that would have probably been a bit more appealing & worth-while for the military in comparison to a largely peaceful & easy-going virtual community. Hell, now that Kojima is basically gone from the Metal Gear series & it is essentially owned by Konami, the U.S. military might have been able to buy a smash-hit title to fill with propaganda... Nonetheless, point being, people bitch about violence in video games & the content of games & all sorts of crap, yet, nothing about this. A-okay I suppose? Eh...

Mortal Kombat & Grand Theft Auto were corrupting the youth & Doom fueled the Columbine high-school shootings, though, the military trying to recruit kids through video games isn't a problem or even an issue known by most folks. World of Warcraft & 'video game addiction' are supposed to be news worthy instead...

But hey, don't think this is the whole of it, not in the least... check this out...

http://www.americasarmy.com/

Propaganda just met the 21st century & that's typically old news for most kids. That's a video game made by the united states military, published & put out with an interactive online community, all filled up with advertisements for enlisting in the service. Notice, the title got a T for Teen rating by the ESRB... & that's important because it means that my previous use of the word "kids" is very appropriate. For a bit about why this game receiving a T for Teen rating is an issue.. well, here's a link to the controversy section of the wikipedia page for this game...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/America's_Army#Controversy

So... other than trying to recruit kids & glorify war & military life, what is the military doing with video games? Would you believe me if I said, trying to prevent suicide?

http://www.thestandard.com/news/2008/12/01/army-suicide-rates-video-games

Want to play the demo? Link follows...

http://willinteractive.com/demos/beyond-the-front/

I suggest you might consider clicking through it to at least read the disclaimers... a bit interesting if nothing else.

However, this still doesn't end there... We have veterans protest outside a U.S. Army-sponsored video game tournament... "It's like giving candy to kids," Sacramento Veterans for Peace president John C. Reiger said. "It's sort of like military pedophilia in a way, preying on our young people."

http://www.news10.net/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=51581&catid=2

I know that a whole hell of a lot of people don't really give a damn about video games for the most part, though, as video games have increasingly become integrated into our culture, especially the culture of the youth, the issues that arise around them have become far more serious & relative to each & every one of us, regardless of if we play them or not. First it was the odd video game instead of a pinball machine... Now, well... GTA sold over $300 million in a 24 hour period of time, beating out the Harry Potter craze & taking the world record in the process for highest ever entertainment earner within the first 24 hours after release.

Not only this, though, in a time when the economy & market are typically fucked, the video game industry has been relatively unscathed... in actuality, the video game industry is bigger than ever & more or less, growing while near to all else is faltering.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/canadianpress/article/ALeqM5hbnOSsybCzJICcuK2m2m-ROwF32Q

We're looking at something that has gone vastly & immensely beyond Pong & Tetris. Video games have become so influential & substantial that they have become an industry in its own standing, one that has an impact in the economy & entertainment industry. More over, these games have come to the point of being not only considered with seriousness by the military, yet, seized upon by the military as a viable tool for recruitment.

So... how to end this? Why not with a quote, from a character in a video game, about war?

"War has changed. It's no longer about nations, ideologies or ethnicity. It's an endless series of proxy battles, fought by mercenaries and machines. War, and its consumption of life, has become a well-oiled machine. War has changed. ID tagged soldiers carry ID tagged weapons, use ID tagged gear. Nanomachines inside their bodies enhance and regulate their abilities. Genetic control. Information control. Emotion control. Battlefield control. Everything is monitored, and kept under control. War has changed. The age of deterrence has become the age of control. All in the name of averting catastrophe from weapons of mass destruction. And he who controls the battlefield, controls history. War has changed. When the battlefield is under total control, war...becomes routine." -- Solid Snake, from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots."

HIS BRAIN IS SQUIRMING LIKE A TOAD

Since the subject of Jim Morrison has once more come up, Munz alerted us to the following story…

“George Morrison, 89, a retired Navy rear admiral and the father of the late rock icon Jim Morrison, died in a Coronado, Calif., hospital Nov. 17 after a fall. Once the youngest admiral in the Navy, Morrison had a long career that included serving as operations officer aboard the aircraft carrier Midway and commanding the fleet during the 1964 Gulf of Tonkin incident, which led to an escalation of American involvement in Vietnam.”

Which, as Munz points out, “means that Jim Morrison's father was directly involved in the false flag incident that began the Vietnam War as we know it.” A whole new take on “father, I want to kill you.”

The secret word is Snake

And while on the subject, click here for a seconds-of-amusement Doors oddity sent by UK Tim. (I took me a few seconds to figure it out.)

THE ADVENTURES OF MARILYN (Part 97)

In which Marilyn attempts to make conversation with the other guests at the banquet for assembled sentients. “What have they done to the Earth?” She asks. “What have they done to our fair sister? Ravaged and plundered, and ripped her, and bit her, stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn, and tied her with fences, and dragged her down. I hear a very gentle sound, with your ear down to the ground. We want the world and we want it...” She pauses and frowns. Something is very wrong. “Oh dear. That’s not me. I’m channeling Jim Morrison. We must have had an iconographic poetry distort.” She attempts to dismiss the glitch with a bright disarming smile. “At least we’re still speaking English…aren’t we?”

RUMBLINGS FROM THE EAST

Alerts to this story came in from a number of sources…
CHICAGO — Workers who got three days' notice their factory was shutting its doors have occupied the building and say they won't go home without assurances they'll get severance and vacation pay they say they are owed. About 250 workers occupied the Republic Windows and Doors plant Saturday while union leaders outside criticized a Wall Street bailout they say is leaving laborers behind. Leah Fried, a United Electrical Workers organizer, said the Chicago- based vinyl window manufacturer failed to give 60 days' notice required by law before shutting down. During the peaceful takeover, workers have been shoveling snow and cleaning the building, Fried said. "We're doing something we haven't since the 1930s, so we're trying to make it work," (Click for more)

“The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe. You have to make it fall.” – Che Guevara

The secret word is Rising

THIS BLOG IS STILL PROTECTED BY...