FOR MEMORIAL WEEKEND

I’ve been aware of various news reports concerning Fundamentalist Christians making increasing efforts to turn the US Military into a “Christian” fighting force, but other things, some epic, some trivia, have been absorbing my attention, but when activists and Air Force veterans like Michael Weinstein make statements like the one below I kinda think it’s time to take notice. I mean, I don’t feel exactly comfortable with the idea that megaton loaded nuclear bombers are flying around with crews who believe the Book of Revelation is going become reality anytime.

“The Christian Taliban is running the Department of Defense, It inundates everything. Can you imagine a contingent of religious zealots, with their contempt for secular values (and such manifestations of secular order as the U.S. Constitution) — and with their zest for holy war — in control of the most potent fighting force and weaponry in human history? Is this possible? Well, said Weinstein, consider the 523rd Fighter Squadron, based at Cannon Air Force Base, N.M., which calls itself The Crusaders, and whose emblem consists of a sword, four crosses and a medieval knight’s helmet. They fly F-16s with payloads consisting of “a wide variety of conventional, precision guided and nuclear weapons.” And listen once again to Commander-in-Chief Bush, speaking in 2003 to Palestinian Prime Minister Mahmoud Abbas, according to the Israeli newspaper Haaretz: “God told me to strike at al-Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, and now I am determined to solve the problem in the Middle East. If this is a religious war — a “clash of civilizations,” waged by competing agents of God’s will — victory may be indistinguishable from Armageddon. God help the human race.”

The secret word is Duck

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S #12A

But back at the robot/human discussion of a couple of weeks ago, I’m wondering about the relationship between this lady in the futuristic skimpy dress and her robot. Is she being kidnapped? Rescued? Or is the robot using her as a human shield, and if so why? It hardly seems very logical. The robot is metal and while the lady is composed soft, wet, less that raygun-proof human flesh and bone.

SEIG HEIL, IT'S FRIDAY

This is a Bushie. They are still dangerous. Give ‘em an inch and they take the Constitution. This broad could even have ended up being the commandant of the camp in which you found yourself incarcerated.

Gadfly-nuisance-but-frequently-right, investigative reporter Greg Palast claims to have the 500 emails that the House subpoenaed and Karl Rove claims were deleted forever. They prove definitively, says Palast, that the Justice Department is infested with operatives taking orders from Rove to steal upcoming elections for Republicans and permanently alter the Department. Here’s the story via Munz.

The secret word is Infiltration

CRYPTIQUE – The fascists kill the child within.

Newton is not at all sure whether the random kitten generator isn’t just too cute. (Thanks Suzy) But I’m attempting to cheer myself up. Here also is my less that favorable preview of this weekend’s TV version of Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee from LA CityBeat

Can you imagine walking into a bar and ordering a Jack Daniels and Moxie?

THURSDAY IS FOR IRRATIONAL DEPRESSION

Which I am attempting to combat (or maybe indulge) – as I do battle with deadlines, the prose form, and the blues in the night (not to mention my fury at the fucking Democrats caving to Bush on Iraq) – with “Sappho” by Mengin, and “Tombstone Blues” by Bob Dylan, plus what are probably the most totally unsuitable combination of drugs and stimulants. This may be a moment of self-revelation on part of the artist, and, believe me, they don’t happen too often round here so make the most of it.

"Now I wish I could write you a melody so plain
That could hold you dear lady from going insane
That could ease you and cool you and cease the pain
Of your useless and pointless knowledge"

The secret words are Bloody Misery

And fidicen didn’t exactly cheer up the day by sending over this story from Common Dreams that indicates the shit is worse than we think it is and deteriorating faster. Or as he puts it…
"The dreaded feedback loop has begun. When this starts to happen, it's awfully hard to "pull out". The mechanism takes a life of its own. We can't exactly turn down the volume or unplug the mother. Mind-numbing how fast this has all been happening--a signature of the feedback condition itself. All hands on deck. The whirlwind is in the thorn tree."

And finally, although I can’t read the language, the message is clear.

(reprise)
"The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly
Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky
Saving, "The sun's not yellow it's chicken"

WEDNESDAY IS PUBLIC SERVICE DAY

Which I have declared because I have a fuck of a lot of writing to do today, and very little to comment upon except that I was amused to see Paris Hilton doing a TV photo-op holding an actual Bible, at which point I simply had to ask the screen if one didn’t usually wait until one was actually banged up in the joint before getting religion. The screen, as always simply responded with a GM commercial and was no help at all, but then the thought of Paris and religion seemed neatly to bring us full circle to the artifact above. So…

The secret word is Antibiotic

TUESDAY'S SHAKE HANDS WITH THE DEVIL

I have the famous picture of Elvis and Nixon on the wall of my study, but maybe I should have this one too. Once again stolen from Tsutpen.

This blog is still affiliated with the White Panther Party

And speaking of the devil, remember last June 6th, when everyone had a jolly drunken satanic time because the numerical date was 6.6.06. Well, now it seems like the out-there Christians (as opposed to the nice Christians, Betsy) are stealing the idea and making July 7th (7.7.07 geddit?) some major prayer event. That it turns out to be the Rapture is probably too much to hope for. I also recall, from 1977, the Rastafarians have some highly negative issues about mixing up sevens. (Heavy manners.) Thus I would, with all due courtesy, suggest to all you snake handling, tongue talkers to proceed with a measure of caution. Meanwhile I’m sticking with 12.21.12 – but more of that later when I explain how I can wax incredibly enthusiastic about something in which I don’t believe. Hell, that’s easy. I spent half a decade writing nosferatu novels.

Newton, who has only met two dogs in his life, and therefore harbors no prejudices in that respect, warns that the sugar substitute Xylitol (sounds like the name of a Mayan death god) is deadly to dogs.
Newton would also like to remind you that The Animal Rescue Site still needs daily clicks to meet their quota of the free food donated to abused and neglected animals, by their corporate sponsors/advertisers. These donations are calculated by the number of hits on the site. Use this link to go to the site, and then click on the purple box "fund food for animals". Okay?

We visited Strinberg On Helium a long time ago, but now it’s bigger, better, and decidedly more odd. Indeed, odd enough to merit a permanent link on the right. (Thanks Wend.) And, when you've finished doing that there’s this footage of the worlds smallest catapult hurling minuature confectionary at insects. (Thanks Noudela)

The secret word is Custard

MISLAID IN TRANSLATION

Valerie writes -- "In the 30s in Spain the majority of the working class, especially women, were illiterate so the graphics on posters were important and hence all theamazing civil war stuff. The guy who did this one, Manuel Monleon, is a favorite artist.
It says "Woman, your conjugal bliss is in you hands."

While Wendy has sent the following unfortunate language anomalies…
Coors
Beer maker Coors discovered that its slogan "Turn it Loose" translated into Spanish as "Suffer from Diarrhea". The company immediately pulled the advertisements and changed the campaign's slogan to "Won't Slow You Down" which it said "better resonated with Spanish-speaking audiences".
Reebok
In 1996, Reebok named a new women's tennis shoe Incubus. Unfortunately, Incubus, according to medieval mythology, was a demon who ravished women in their sleep.
Coca-Cola
The corporation's slogan "Coke Adds Life" was reportedly translated into Thai as "Coke Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Dead".
David Beckham
The footballer thought he had made a public statement of love and affection for his wife until it emerged that a tattoo on his arm bearing Victoria's name in Hindi had been misspelt. "Whoever wrote this tattoo is clearly not a Hindi expert," said Padmesh Gupta, president of the United Kingdom Hindi Committee.
Ford Pinto
When Ford launched its Pinto car in Brazil, it was forced to rebrand the range after someone pointed out that "pinto" was slang for "tiny male genitals".

The secret word is Foreign

DOC'S SATURDAY FUNHOUSE

Now this is what I really call a flying saucer.

Donated by peromyscus

I can’t attempt to describe this animation that came in from Wendy, but YOU REALLY HAVE TO WATCH IT! And when you’ve finished that move on to the weirdest soy sauce commercial ever known to man. (See left.)

Here’s a nice atlas of the universe from aeswiren. Try zooming out for as far as you can go.

And for those of you who are old enough to know better but stoned enough to care, here’s a promo for the Furry Freak Brothers animated movie. (That we’ve only been waiting for since 1972.)

The secret word is Weekend

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S #12

Cheap 'n' cheesy s&m except that this novel is the work of Edward D. Wood Jr – that’s right, that Ed Wood, the angora loving director of Glen or Glenda, Plan 9 From Outer Space, and Bride of the Monster. The truth is that Wood churned out paperback-pulp sleaze fiction to subsidize his adventures in movie making, and his output was prodigious. (I suppose there are worse fates. Johnny Depp did play him in the movie.) -- contributed by peromyscus

MEANWHILE, AT THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH...

Last week the Pentagon announced that soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan would no longer be able to use military computers to access You Tube, My Space and eleven other popular websites. Much of the cable news chatter jumped on this as the Pentagon cutting off our boys and girls from stateside cyber-goodies so all their attention could be focused on doing the impossible and letting Bush’s surge succeed. (As if it has a any hope in the hell that Iraq has become.) It would seem however that quite the reverse is true. The brass are more concerned about what grunts might be uploading from their cameras and cell phones, and the order is in line with the new Iraqi government policy banning photographers and camera operators from filming bombing scenes, meaning video taken by citizens and uploaded to YouTube is now the only imagery the world sees of the devastation.

For background see Huffpo

The secret words are Night & Fog

OH SHIT! HERE'S THE REAL BAD NEWS

I'm just just gutted. First my buddy Boss Goodman and now his good friend Bo. All I can do is put it down the way it came off the computer. (But hey, Boss is recovering, okay? So...)
DES MOINES, Iowa (from HCB) : Bo Diddley is in intensive care after suffering a stroke in Iowa, a publicist said Wednesday. The 78-year-old singer-songwriter-guitarist and Rock and Roll Hall of Famer was listed in guarded condition at Creighton University Medical Center in Omaha, Nebraska, said Susan Clary, a publicist for the musician's management team. Diddley, who has a history of hypertension and diabetes, was hospitalized Sunday following a concert in Council Bluffs in which he acted disoriented, she said. Tests indicated that the stroke affected the left side of his brain, impairing his speech and speech recognition, Clary said. Clary said she has no other details on Diddley's condition or how long he would be in intensive care.

Here's Bo live!

STATUTARY BOB DYLAN LINE FOR JERRY FALWELL

“And I’ll stand over your grave ‘til I’m sure that you’re dead.”

Meanwhile, in this week’s LA CityBeat, I reflect on how another year and a half of election may ultimately destroy our brains.

JUST IN CASE ANYONE HAD FORGOTTEN

Watching American Idol and Fox News can do weird shit to one's memory.

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger." -- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials.

What kinda worries me is that the best thing that could happen for the Bush Administration right now is some kind of high-drama, major-damage, terrorist event right here in the USA. It would provide the perfect distraction, the means to close up shop on the opposition, and a solid get-out-of-jail-free card. What worries me even more is that if I’ve though of it, you know Karl fucking Rove has thought of it too. Stay watchful, my droogs. The rats are becoming increasingly cornered.

The secret word is Indictment

IT'S THAT MICK AND ANDY MUSIC

If you click on to the My Space page that our longtime friend and comrade Rich Deakin has put up for his forthcoming book Keep It Together, the sordid history of The Deviants and The Pink Fairies, (to be published by Headpress later in the summer) you will also hear a brand new Farren/Colquhoun musical piece “Ladbroke Groove” – essentially my introduction to the book set to music by Andy.

Andy while we’re on the subject of music, Andy and I have one real bad itch to do some playing around here in LA, so if there are any bookers or barkeeps reading this who’d like us on their stage one evening, shoot us an email. ( byron4d@msn.com )

THE BURNING

I have a bunch of writing to do over the next few days, but Doc40 will keep rolling with all stuff sent in by our friends. (Providing blogger doesn’t go down again as it did last night.) Yesterday aeswiren contributed this story from the London Independent by Daniel Howden designed to remind us that the destruction of the rainforest – especially the Amazon – is still the primary cause of potential climatic disaster.

In the next 24 hours, deforestation will release as much CO2 into the atmosphere as 8 million people flying from London to New York. Stopping the loggers is the fastest and cheapest solution to climate change. So why are global leaders turning a blind eye to this crisis? The accelerating destruction of the rainforests that form a precious cooling band around the Earth's equator, is now being recognised as one of the main causes of climate change. Carbon emissions from deforestation far outstrip damage caused by planes and automobiles and factories. The rampant slashing and burning of tropical forests is second only to the energy sector as a source of greenhouses gases according to report published today by the Oxford-based Global Canopy Programme, an alliance of leading rainforest scientists. Figures from the GCP, summarising the latest findings from the United Nations, and building on estimates contained in the Stern Report, show deforestation accounts for up to 25 per cent of global emissions of heat-trapping gases, while transport and industry account for 14 per cent each; and aviation makes up only 3 per cent of the total."Tropical forests are the elephant in the living room of climate change," said Andrew Mitchell, the head of the GCP.Scientists say one days' deforestation is equivalent to the carbon footprint of eight million people flying to New York. Reducing those catastrophic emissions can be achieved most quickly and most cheaply by halting the destruction in Brazil, Indonesia, the Congo and elsewhere. No new technology is needed, says the GCP, just the political will and a system of enforcement and incentives that makes the trees worth more to governments and individuals standing than felled. "The focus on technological fixes for the emissions of rich nations while giving no incentive to poorer nations to stop burning the standing forest means we are putting the cart before the horse," said Mr Mitchell.Most people think of forests only in terms of the CO2 they absorb. The rainforests of the Amazon, the Congo basin and Indonesia are thought of as the lungs of the planet. But the destruction of those forests will in the next four years alone, in the words of Sir Nicholas Stern, pump more CO2 into the atmosphere than every flight in the history of aviation to at least 2025.Indonesia became the third-largest emitter of greenhouse gases in the world last week. Following close behind is Brazil. Neither nation has heavy industry on a comparable scale with the EU, India or Russia and yet they comfortably outstrip all other countries, except the United States and China. What both countries do have in common is tropical forest that is being cut and burned with staggering swiftness. Smoke stacks visible from space climb into the sky above both countries, while satellite images capture similar destruction from the Congo basin, across the Democratic Republic of Congo, the Central African Republic and the Republic of Congo. According to the latest audited figures from 2003, two billion tons of CO2 enters the atmosphere every year from deforestation. That destruction amounts to 50 million acres - or an area the size of England, Wales and Scotland felled annually. The remaining standing forest is calculated to contain 1,000 billion tons of carbon, or double what is already in the atmosphere. As the GCP's report concludes: "If we lose forests, we lose the fight against climate change."Standing forest was not included in the original Kyoto protocols and stands outside the carbon markets that the report from the International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) pointed to this month as the best hope for halting catastrophic warming.The landmark Stern Report last year, and the influential McKinsey Report in January agreed that forests offer the "single largest opportunity for cost-effective and immediate reductions of carbon emissions".International demand has driven intensive agriculture, logging and ranching that has proved an inexorable force for deforestation; conservation has been no match for commerce. The leading rainforest scientists are now calling for the immediate inclusion of standing forests in internationally regulated carbon markets that could provide cash incentives to halt this disastrous process. Forestry experts and policy makers have been meeting in Bonn, Germany, this week to try to put deforestation on top of the agenda for the UN climate summit in Bali, Indonesia, this year. Papua New Guinea, among the world's poorest nations, last year declared it would have no choice but to continue deforestation unless it was given financial incentives to do otherwise. Richer nations already recognise the value of uncultivated land. The EU offers €200 (£135) per hectare subsidies for "environmental services" to its farmers to leave their land unused. And yet there is no agreement on placing a value on the vastly more valuable land in developing countries. More than 50 per cent of the life on Earth is in tropical forests, which cover less than 7 per cent of the planet's surface.They generate the bulk of rainfall worldwide and act as a thermostat for the Earth. Forests are also home to 1.6 billion of the world's poorest people who rely on them for subsistence. However, forest experts say governments continue to pursue science fiction solutions to the coming climate catastrophe, preferring bio-fuel subsidies, carbon capture schemes and next-generation power stations. Putting a price on the carbon these vital forests contain is the only way to slow their destruction. Hylton Philipson, a trustee of Rainforest Concern, explained: "In a world where we are witnessing a mounting clash between food security, energy security and environmental security - while there's money to be made from food and energy and no income to be derived from the standing forest, it's obvious that the forest will take the hit."

The secret word is Chainsaw

But cheer up -- here's Bo Diddley (from MrMR)

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S #11

While the theme of robot love seems to be playing itself out, it might be noted that Captain Future is clearly not enamored of his metal buddy. On the other hand, though…

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S #10

…the drunk lady on her robot's shoulders would appear to be having a high old time. And while on the subject, here is a long story on robot interaction from The Montreal Gazette.

THIS BLOG IS STILL PROTECTED BY...

WE GET EMAILS

Kass writes (and allows me a day off) "As to robot/human love, thought you might enjoy this angle on it by one of my favorite poets, William Dickey"

ANDROIDS

Androids

are not different in appearance

from you and me

except they are more beautiful.

Male-type androids are muscular,

have smooth chests

and incredible apparatus;

the female-typeare, as we say, pneumatic,

and have been taught everything about it

there is to know.

You have been to bedwith an android, probably thinking

“Jesus, did I luck out!”

The androidis not really thinking about you at all.

It is gathering informationfor the data bank.

As you fall back,exhausted, unsuspicious,

the android will kiss your forehead.

It will murmur “Thank you.”

And then it will leave.

It is a characteristic of androids

not to stay on till morning.

And even if you were suspicious

it would do you little good.

The only way to identify the androidis to look inside its navel

where it is stampedwith its country of manufacture.

That is why it leaves while you are exhausted.

It is important to it

not to let you get that close.

The secret word is Lubricant

CHECK OUT THIS LITTLE HORROR

http://www.aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf

From MrMR. (and do let it run its full course.)

Oddly, it could be a promo for my new book Who's Watching You, but actually it isn't. (See last Saturday.)

The secret word is Happenstance

THOSE DALEKS ARE IRRESISTABLE

While attempting to duck under the porn/cheesecake issue, it would seem that, in real life, human/robot love is on the rise (so to speak.) Valerie points out a fascinating tale recounted by Clive Thompson on Collision Detection (read the whole thing.)

At the Yuma Test Grounds in Arizona, the autonomous robot, 5 feet long and modeled on a stick-insect, strutted out for a live-fire test and worked beautifully, he says. Every time it found a mine, blew it up and lost a limb, it picked itself up and readjusted to move forward on its remaining legs, continuing to clear a path through the minefield. Finally it was down to one leg. Still, it pulled itself forward. Tilden was ecstatic. The machine was working splendidly. The human in command of the exercise, however -- an Army colonel -- blew a fuse. The colonel ordered the test stopped. “Why?” asked Tilden. “What's wrong?” The colonel just could not stand the pathos of watching the burned, scarred and crippled machine drag itself forward on its last leg. “This test,” he charged, “was inhumane.”

CRYPTIQUE – Don’t ask, don’t tell, Will Robinson.

The secret word is Anthropomorphic

A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM NEWTON THE CAT

This is so simple a dog can do it. The Animal Rescue Site needs lots more people to click on it daily to meet their quota of the free food donated to abused and neglected animals. The way it works is that their corporate sponsors/advertisers donate food in exchange for advertising, but these donations are calculated by the number of hits on the site. Thus use the link above to go to the site, click on the purple box "fund food for animals". It doesn't cost you a thing and takes about a minute. It would probably take another minute to email the link to everyone you know. Do it now, humans.

The secret word is Purr

AUGURIES OF DOOM HEAT UP

As I both hoped and expected 12.21.12 seems to be taking hold on the peripheries of the collective dementia. A character with unlikely name of Mhynek delivers a load of foreboding.

"The complete loss of the honeybee will felt over the next 4 years. The sunspots are just starting. They will peak in 2011. Many things will change in the next four years. Expect a shortage of food, much death, followed by new dawn of enlightenment. This is how the 4th epoch of man ends and the 5th epoch of man begins after 13.0.0.0.0, you know this date as Dec 21st, 2012. The Mayans prophesied *that from 1999 we have 13 years to realize the changes in our conscious attitude to stray from the path of self-destruction and instead move onto a path that opens our consciousness to integrate us with all that exists. The Mayans knew that our Sun, or Kinich-Ahau, every so often synchronized with the enormous central galaxy. And from this central galaxy received a 'spark' of light, which causes the Sun to shine more intensely producing what our scientists call 'solar flares' as well as changes in the Sun's magnetic field. The Mayans say that this happens every 5,125 years. But also that this causes a displacement in the Earth’s rotation, and because of this movement great catastrophes would be produced."

Meanwhile the cash registers are ringing, right along with the death knell. Amazon.com shows more than 100 books on the subject, with titles like Doomsday 2012 and 2012: You Have a Choice! Spirituality conferences are already convening like "2012 Ascension Symposium," which promised, "Offer humanity global reassurance and change the Consciousness of the world." This would all seem to be shaping up to be much more fun than Y2K.

*Oh yeah, and you can watch an animated countdown of how long we have left!

CRYPTIQUE – Will the last one alive turn the lights out?

More bad news but it's in Mayan.

A VERY BAD IDEA OF YESTERYEAR

And, alas, as history has proved, Katy Manning's naked embrace of a Dalek did not make her a household name or even a global object of desire lusted after by millions.

The secret word is Davros

But if all of this is a little retro-sexist tacky or whatever, we recommend the fabulous...
Elephantcam

OR MAYBE EXTINCTION'S CLOSER THAN WE THINK

Astronomers have spotted a cataclysmic explosion that marked the death of a huge, distant star in a blast five times as bright and powerful as any they had seen previously. They said yesterday that a similar fate may be imminent for a star in Earth's galactic neighborhood. The size and energy of the newly recorded blast, 240 million light-years away, have already begun to transform scientific understanding of how especially large stars explode, and have left awestruck researchers concerned -- and a little excited -- about what might happen to the similarly enormous and unstable star closer to home.

The secret word is Boom!

And the numeric sequence is 12.21.12

CRYPTIQUE – It’s hard to make the transition from the unthinkable to the unspeakable.

SOME AFTERNOONS I THINK THIS SPECIES SHOULD BE EXTINCT

The way in which the story – and much more important, the hideous live cell phone footage -- of the death of 17-year-old Du’a Khalil Aswad has been orbiting the periphery of the mainstream media for days now greatly disturbs me. The teenager was stoned and kicked to death by a crowd of close to a thousand men because her family were from a minority Kurdish religious group called the Yezidi, and she was seeing a Sunni Muslim boy. Local security forces seemingly looked on, and the so-called "honour killing" was recorded by dozens of cell phones – modern technology for the 10th century – and are now circulating the internet like fucking snuff movies for the amusement of the mentally hideous. The dilemma is what does one do? Anyone with half a brain and an internet connection can find the footage in approximately 18 seconds. Maybe I should just keep quiet, but the images are in my mind and will not go away, and maybe silence really does equal death. I guess that’s one of the reasons I’m a fucking writer. So I can chronicle the multitude of ways men can find to shame and disgust me.

IS THIS REALLY KANSAS, TOTO?

"Clearly the goats don’t like it."

As we should probably have expected, the post-tornado devastation in Greensburg, Kansas has been massively exacerbated by half the Kansas National Guard being in Iraq and, as a result, ability to shift emergency equipment has been severely handicapped. Kansas (Dem) Gov. Kathleen Sebelius said the government’s response to the disaster was undermined by ongoing National Guard deployments to the Middle East. “I don’t think there is any question if you are missing trucks, Humvees and helicopters that the response is going to be slower, and the real victims here will be the residents of Greensburg.” Also having the totally unbelievable Sam Brownback as one of its Senators may also hamper Kansas more than a little. Brownback, who has spent all his time in the Senate fighting evolution, gay marriage, and broadcast indecency, is now running for the Republican nomination, as the GOP “Rapture” candidate.

MEANWHILE MISS TEMPLETON IS NOT AMUSED
"Mondays are bad enough as is, what with the going back to work and all, but when one comes home to a story on the evening news where one's president (strategically shaved chimp though he may be; we are still a republic when last checked, E Pluribus, Divided we Stand, No Money Down, etc. etc.) is freakin' COMING ON to the Queen of England in some mixture of Dallas used-car salesman sincerity crossed with ankle-bracelet wearing "bringing sexy back" predator charm, then one knows that the seventh seal is not only broken; it's long past its warranty. Cue the locusts."

NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK (See Saturday’s blatant self promotion.)

DENIZENS OF THE DEEP

Doc40 has published its share of bikini babes struggling with octopi, but, for a change, here is the real thing. (Octopi, not bikini babes.) From Collision Detection come the most amazing pictures of exotic deep-sea life, which have to be worth the time and effort. And also fab film of an octopus opening a bottle from Peromyscus.

The secret word is Fathom

MASSIVE MONDAY VONNEGUT

(image lifted from swac)

I couldn’t help it, when this piece came in from Subversive Ilene, I was going to cut out some parts to make it an easy-read length, but then I caught myself. I was going to start cutting up Kurt Vonnegut? Not a chance, Lance. So I just posted the whole damn thing as it was delivered.

The secret word is Word

“Do unto others what you would have them do unto you." A lot of people think Jesus said that, because it is so much the sort of thing Jesus liked to say. But it was actually said by Confucius, a Chinese philosopher, five hundred years before there was that greatest and most humane of human beings, named Jesus Christ. The Chinese also gave us, via Marco Polo, pasta and the formula for gunpowder. The Chinese were so dumb they only used gunpowder for fireworks. And everybody was so dumb back then that nobody in either hemisphere even knew that there was another one.
We've sure come a long way since then. Sometimes I wish we hadn't. I hate H-bombs and the Jerry Springer Show. But back to people like Confucius and Jesus and my son the doctor, Mark, each of whom have said in their own way how we could behave more humanely and maybe make the world a less painful place. One of my favourite humans is Eugene Debs, from Terre Haute in my native state of Indiana. Get a load of this. Eugene Debs, who died back in 1926, when I was not yet four, ran five times as the Socialist party candidate for president, winning 900,000 votes, almost 6 percent of the popular vote, in 1912, if you can imagine such a ballot. He had this to say while campaigning:
"As long as there is a lower class, I am in it.
"As long as there is a criminal element, I am of it.
"As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free."
Doesn't anything socialistic make you want to throw up? Like great public schools, or health insurance for all?
When you get out of bed each morning, with the roosters crowing, wouldn't you like to say. "As long as there is a lower class, I am in it. As long as there is a criminal element, I am of it. As long as there is a soul in prison, I am not free."
How about Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes?
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.
And so on.
Not exactly planks in a Republican platform. Not exactly George W Bush, Dick Cheney, or Donald Rumsfeld stuff.
For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere.
"Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break! It so happens that idealism enough for anyone is not made of perfumed pink clouds. It is the law! It is the US Constitution. But I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened instead is that it was taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d'état imaginable.
I was once asked if I had any ideas for a really scary reality TV show. I have one reality show that would really make your hair stand on end: "C-Students from Yale." George W Bush has gathered around him upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography, plus not-so-closeted white supremacists, aka Christians, and plus, most frighteningly, psychopathic personalities, or PPs, the medical term for smart, personable people who have no consciences.
To say somebody is a PP is to make a perfectly respectable diagnosis, like saying he or she has appendicitis or athlete's foot. The classic medical text on PPs is The Mask of Sanity by Dr Hervey Cleckley, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Medical College of Georgia, published in 1941. Read it!
Some people are born deaf, some are born blind or whatever, and this book is about congenitally defective human beings of a sort that is making this whole country and many other parts of the planet go completely haywire nowadays. These were people born without consciences, and suddenly they are taking charge of everything. PPs are presentable, they know full well the suffering their actions may cause others, but they do not care. They cannot care because they are nuts. They have a screw loose!
And what syndrome better describes so many executives at Enron and WorldCom and on and on, who have enriched themselves while ruining their employees and investors and country and who still feel as pure as the driven snow, no matter what anybody may say to or about them? And they are waging a war that is making billionaires out of millionaires, and trillionaires out of billionaires, and they own television, and they bankroll George Bush, and not because he's against gay marriage.
So many of these heartless PPs now hold big jobs in our federal government, as though they were leaders instead of sick. They have taken charge. They have taken charge of communications and the schools, so we might as well be Poland under occupation. They might have felt that taking our country into an endless war was simply something decisive to do. What has allowed so many PPs to rise so high in corporations, and now in government, is that they are so decisive. They are going to do something every fuckin' day and they are not afraid. Unlike normal people, they are never filled with doubts, for the simple reason that they don't give a fuck what happens next. Simply can't. Do this! Do that! Mobilise the reserves! Privatise the public schools! Attack Iraq! Cut health care! Tap everybody's telephone! Cut taxes on the rich! Build a trillion-dollar missile shield! Fuck habeas corpus and the Sierra Club and In These Times, and kiss my ass! There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: only nut cases want to be president. This was true even in high school. Only clearly disturbed people ran for class president.
The title of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 is a parody of the title of Ray Bradbury's great science-fiction novel Fahrenheit 451. Four hundred and fifty-one degrees Fahrenheit is the combustion point, incidentally, of paper, of which books are composed. The hero of Bradbury's novel is a municipal worker whose job is burning books.
While on the subject of burning books, I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength, who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and destroyed records rather than have to reveal to thought police the names of persons who have checked out those titles.
So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House, the Supreme Court, the Senate, the House of Representatives, or the media. The America I loved still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.
And still on the subject of books: our daily news sources, newspapers and TV, are now so craven, so unvigilant on behalf of the American people, so uninformative, that only in books do we learn what's really going on. I will cite an example: House of Bush, House of Saud by Craig Unger, published in early 2004, that humiliating, shameful, blood-soaked year.
In case you haven't noticed, as the result of a shamelessly rigged election in Florida, in which thousands of African-Americans were arbitrarily disenfranchised, we now present ourselves to the rest of the world as proud, grinning, jut-jawed, pitiless war-lovers with appallingly powerful weaponry - who stand unopposed. In case you haven't noticed, we are now as feared and hated all over the world as Nazis once were. And with good reason. In case you haven't noticed, our unelected leaders have dehumanised millions and millions of human beings simply because of their religion and race. We wound 'em and kill 'em and torture 'em and imprison 'em all we want.
Piece of cake.
In case you haven't noticed, we also dehumanised our own soldiers, not because of their religion or race, but because of their low social class. Send 'em anywhere. Make 'em do anything.
Piece of cake. The O'Reilly Factor. So I am a man without a country, except for the librarians and a Chicago paper called In These Times. Before we attacked Iraq, the majestic New York Times guaranteed there were weapons of mass destruction there.
Albert Einstein and Mark Twain gave up on the human race at the end of their lives, even though Twain hadn't even seen the first world war. War is now a form of TV entertainment, and what made the first world war so particularly entertaining were two American inventions, barbed wire and the machine gun. Shrapnel was invented by an Englishman of the same name. Don't you wish you could have something named after you? Like my distinct betters Einstein and Twain, I now give up on people, too. I am a veteran of the second world war and I have to say this is not the first time I have surrendered to a pitiless war machine.
My last words? "Life is no way to treat an animal, not even a mouse."Napalm came from Harvard. Veritas
Our president is a Christian? So was Adolf Hitler. What can be said to our young people, now that psychopathic personalities, which is to say persons without consciences, without senses of pity or shame, have taken all the money in the treasuries of our government and corporations, and made it all their own?”
© 2005 Kurt Vonnegut Extracted from A Man Without A Century: A Memoir of Life in George W Bush's America.

NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK (See Saturday’s blatant self promotion.)

DOC'S PAPERBACK CLASSIC'S #9

“She was practiced in the art of…"

STRAWBERRY SPEED FOREVER

You gotta read this one and also watch the video. Candy flavored crystal meth? Do I ask myself what they’ll think of next? I can think of little else to add except that I really had better get my definitive book on amphetamines written while the rapidly diminishing literate public still has enough brain cells to read it. Beyond that, I can only accept the concept as further confirmation that the world is very definitely going to hell, quite as predicted, in whatever metaphoric receptacle you care to select.

The secrets words are Bleeding Man

CRYPTIQUE – Maybe, sometimes, you just might find you can actually get what you want.

NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK = NEW BOOK (See yesterday’s blatant self promotion.)

BLATANT SELF PROMOTION

I have a new non-fiction book out called
WHO’S WATCHING YOU?
Published by Disinformation, and currently at fine stores and Amazon.com -- but you need the US edition. There is a Brit version by John Gibb in which I had no hand.
The blurb reads…
“The threat of terrorism and the corresponding climate of fear encouraged by the government have together eroded our freedom to live our lives in peace and quiet away from the prying eyes of hidden cameras. The government is tightening its grip on us by watching and recording what we do. They are doing this because they know they can and because knowledge is power. But exactly who are "they" and why do they want to know so much about us? This book includes chilling, accurate, and up-to-date descriptions of the methods the government (and private company proxies) use to watch us.”

Buy one. Buy two. Scare yourself shitless at all the creepy stuff they're doing to you.

MAYBE NOT ELVIS AND TENNESSEE, BUT...

A rare and very blurry picture of poet Michael McLure, giving the finger, followed by Jim Morrison with a beard and six pack of Bud, and maybe or maybe not Pamela Morrison with her head down. (Sent by fidicen)

A MORAL QUESTION MARK

Should with I have laughed with quite such unrestrained glee when I heard that Paris Hilton got 45 days in Sybil Brandt or some similar slam or correctional institution for violating her DWI parole? What was that Dylan couplet – “And that even the nobles get properly handled/Once that cops have chased after and caught them/And that the ladder of law has no top or no bottom”? Seemingly, though, Hilton will be in some kind of isolation for her own protection which I guess means a lot of disappointed diesels.

The secret word is Time

CRYPTIQUE – But it doesn’t apply to me, does it?

ODD, ANYWAY YOU LOOK AT IT

ALSO I have a reflection on guns and death in this week's LA CityBeat. Seems to go well with the the pic of Elvis and Tennessee. (Although a pic of Tennessee and Hank Williams, now that would be something. Right?)

WALLOW WITH EAGLES

I am in that unhappy state of being damned busy and fucking tired. No time or energy to be original, but here, to preserve continuity, is a very important philosopical statement from the late Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, contributed by the very excellent fidicen.

‘From somewhere deep in my memory, I heard a snatch of some half-remembered conversation between a construction worker and a bartender at a bar in Colorado. The construction man was explaining why he shouldn’t have another drink: “You can’t wallow with the pigs at night and then soar with the eagles in the morning,” he said. I thought briefly on this, then shrugged it off. My own situation was totally different, I felt. In about three hours, I was supposed to be down on the docks with my camera and tape recorder to spend another day on one of those goddamn boats. No, I thought, that geek in Colorado had it all wrong. The real problem is how to wallow with the eagles at night and then soar with the pigs in the morning.’ –Hunter S. Thompson, The Great Shark Hunt

I am a baby rhinoceros called Zuri, and I am still learning to wallow. Baby pandas may be more cute, but Eugène Ionesco never wrote a play about them. (Pic from Valerie)

The secret word is Absurdity

MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

“Perhaps it’s just as well that you won’t be here to be offended by the sight of our May Day celebrations.” —Lord Summerisle to Sgt. Howie from The Wicker Man

It’s the festival of Beltane. But where are the fires on the hillside, the banners of Pendragon, and the masked, anonymous, antlered copulation, goddamn it? This is all very disappointing. (But I’m probably too old anyway.) Almost as disappointing as…

...it is also May 1st and another year has passed in which we have failed to overthrow capitalism. Indeed the forces of repression seem to be having it all their way as Steve M. notes in this report from the old country…

“There are now 266 powers under which UK state officials can raid an individual’s home. These include “checking for foreign bees”, “inspection of high hedges”, “surveying seal population” and “checking for offences related to stage hypnotism”. Info comes from the Centre for Policy Studies think-tank (via The Week). The Centre’s research show that most of these powers have been created by Parliament in the last two decades...”

The secret word is Maypole,

But I don’t think this one going to fly, and these poor girls do look as though they’d definitely benefit from some pagan flaming. (pic from Valerie)