SINGLE THOUGHT ON A VERY SLOW SATURDAY
After a week that left a quantum deal to be desired, I actually slept all day and, when I woke, the weather had changed to autumn and, after the raw heat of the previous day, the transformation was not a moment too soon. But, before I fell into my ten hour near-coma, a thought slow-danced through a mind that was attempting to blank itself out for its own protection, or at least lose itself in contemplation of sex, drugs, or vintage rock & roll. It came in the form of a question I’d dearly love to pose to George W. Bush...
"Yo, Georgie, I was just sitting here wondering if you’d install some incompetent, numbskull rich-boy halfwit or woman-of-no-importance to head up your own Secret Service detail, or to pilot Air Force One. No? Of course not. Dumb question, right? Then pray tell me Mr. President, how come you make such appointments to FEMA, Homeland Security, the United Nations and the Supreme Court, where my safety and that of the rest of the world hangs in the fucking balance?"

RELATED GAME
Sent over by Bill although I have managed nothing better than a zero score.
http://www.imgag.com/product/full/ap/3067907/graphic1.swf

UNRELATED GAME
http://www.bunnysneezes.net/page16.html
This ingenious, creative and non-competitive, gothic, virtual paper-doll game comes from a new friend Miss Templeton whose weblog, although nominally dedicated to Irish rock & roll and (seemingly) the consumption of alcohol, currently contains nice remarks about me, a shared affection for Wednesday Addams, and fine picture of Elvis getting drunk.
http://horslipsmusic.blogspot.com/

The secret word is October

CRYPTIQUE – Am I sure Hank done it this way?

PLEASE, SHUT THE FUCK UP
Really, enough. In LA the temperatures once again push close to the 100F mark, the planet’s in the toilet, I don’t feel well, and although I know I’ve said all this before, the Fundamentalists keep pushing their crap to the point that, if I had the strength I’d reach for my revolver. Pat Robertson will not do the decent thing and just shut his mouth so, between pimping his brand of canned shakes, he’s now telling us that Jesus is now on the way back (something he might, in actuality, do well to fear...)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20051009/en_afp/quakesasiausreligion_051009185041

AND MEANWHILE IN KANSAS THEY’RE PLAYING GET THE LESBIAN
(Gimme a break...)
Republican lawmakers are drafting new legislation that will make marriage a requirement for motherhood in the state of Indiana, including specific criminal penalties for unmarried women who do become pregnant "by means other than sexual intercourse."
According to a draft of the recommended change in state law, every woman in Indiana seeking to become a mother through assisted reproduction therapy such as in vitro fertilization, sperm donation, and egg donation, must first file for a "petition for parentage" in their local county probate court. Only women who are married will be considered for the "gestational certificate" that must be presented to any doctor who facilitates the pregnancy. Further, the "gestational certificate" will only be given to married couples that successfully complete the same screening process currently required by law of adoptive parents.
More on this in Natalie Nichols column in LA CityBeat
http://www.lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2734&IssueNum=123

OH AND HERE’S A JOB APPLICATION...
http://www.cronyjobs.com/

The secret word is Exhaustion

CRYPTIQUE – Let the air be dead

AND NOW, A PICTURE OF OUR GLORIOUS LEADER...
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5812/438/1600/cthulhu1.jpg

The secret word is Arkham

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PUNK ISSUE
Two new stories from your humble servant in today’s issue of LA CityBeat. The first is a erudite bit on the roots of punk (this being a special punk issue)...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2704&IssueNum=122

And the second is a scurrilous attack on the New Times "alternative" newspaper chain...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2698&IssueNum=122

And already my comments seem to be causing a minor flurry...
http://www.laobserved.com/archive/2005/10/waiting_for_new_times.html#more
and...
http://poynter.org/forum/view_post.asp?id=10408

From Chris Morris
Mick's screed about the NT/Voice merger is RIGHT FUCKING ON. Beautifully framed. And it's nice to see that it's got the NT people steamed. The truth always hurts. (BTW, spread the word: I'm gonna be hosting "Watusi Rodeo" on Indie 103.1 – LA area – at 11 a.m. this Sunday.)

If anyone has anything to add, I am, as ever, at byron4d@msn.com

LETS HEAR IT FOR JOHN DENSMORE
It’s refreshing to learn (from HCB in this case) that, here in Paris Hilton’s world, there’s someone who won’t do it all for money, and that one Door still stands by his former man. (Although if I was offered a million or so bucks for one of my cheesy old songs I might think long and hard.)
http://www.calendarlive.com/printedition/calendar/cl-et-doors5oct05,0,7733555.story?track=tottext

HALF PRICE DRINKS
And if you want to hear one of the cheesy old songs and know why it’s highly unlikely that I’ll placed the dilemma of being bought out, even for a beer commercial, there’s a free MP3 download at...
http://vslam.blogspot.com/

IN OTHER NEWS
Terminal alcoholics who get nervous with an empty glass in front of the them can now rest easy thanks to a beer coaster that can tell when a glass is empty. The coaster, fitted with sensors, measures the weight of the beer and sends a signal behind the bar when it's time for a refill.

Stately Wayne Manor burned down. The old Pasadena mansion built by the Busch beer family and used in the 1960s Batman series (POW!) burned down last night. Nothing to do with the wild fires, seemingly a remodeling accident.

AND SOME WEIRD PICS...
If you wonder why we’re all fucking crazy in LA, what do you expect when shit like this appears in the evening sky (after a missile lauch from Vandenberg Naval Base, perhaps part of the Star Wars defense idiocy.)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tags/vandenberg/

CRYPTIQUE – Now witness the firepower of this fully operational battle station.

The secret word is Diverse

H5N1
This virus, also known as the Avian or Bird Flu has been all over the news today, and Doc40 the Uberparanoid really wants to know why. I guess the trigger to the mini-furor it is the story of how researchers have replicated the 1918 Spanish Flu virus that started the historic pandemic that rivaled WWI in bodycounts. (Some girl sent over a concise report –
http://www.ireland.com/newspaper/front/2005/1006/620625089HM1FLU.html )
Since then, though, H5N1 has been the scare story de jour with talking heads telling us we’re all doomed, because we’re well overdue for a massive flu pandemic, although making no mention of how part of the doom is in that the Great Global Superpower offers only Third-World health care to its non-wealthy citizens, organized, if at all, by deny-all-claims insurance companies and HMOs. Then Sen. Barack Obama (we hope a future president) warns that, should H5N1 mutate from hens to humans, the US is totally unprepared and lags desperately behind the UK and other developed nations in vaccine readiness. Just to confuse us further, Bush himself makes mention of Bird Flu in some White House al fresco Q&A media opportunity and declares that, if an outbreak happens, he’s real ready for it. He will use the military to quarantine the effected areas. (As some girl noted "him and what army?") Since this is plainly asinine, we have to wonder what the fuck is going on?
Perhaps...
1) Bush’s handlers think macho talk about influenza will smokescreen the general condition of chaos and fuck-up that surrounds the President Inept.
2) Bush’s handlers think influenza panic will provide another stepping stone to their desired Neocon Global Police State.
3) The pharmaceutical companies think influenza panic will smokescreen the fact that they are robbing us blind on a daily basis, and Michael Moore is making a film about them.
4) All of the above.
5) All of the above and more.
I’d write more about this deeply weird facet of homeland security only I don’t feel so good.

The secret word is Poorly

SHINING
HCB has alerted us to the a fabulous faux-trailer for Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining that’s making the rounds. Easy access via this site. Hit the first link to the trailer, but also scroll down because there’s more...
http://www.tatteredcoat.com/archives/2005/09/28/the-shining-redux/

CRYPTIQUE – You wicked bloodsucker, we will annihilate you with a fresh revolutionary upswing!

SUPREME SACRIFICE
If your mind boggles that our pal Georgie Bush, in the wake of the Michael Brown/FEMA scandal, is now appointing a lawer pal, Harriet Miers – who has never been a judge, and about whom no one seems to know very much at all – to the Supreme Court, try a little inside info from wonkette...
A Legal Times profile of Harriet Miers upon her promotion from deputy chief of staff under Andy Card to White House counsel includes information not likely to show up on an official bio, among them:
She is immensely, perhaps irrationally, into birthdays: "She always remembers everybody's birthday, and has a present for them. She'll be finding a present for somebody in the middle of the night.... 'Can't it wait until next week?' 'No,' she'd say, 'It has to be done now.'"
She has dated Texas Supreme Court Justice Nathan Hecht "over the years." [NOTE: Absolutely no other article online mentions this fascinating fact.]
She's nit-picky micromanager who failed upwards at the White House: "She failed in Card's office for two reasons," the [former White House] official says. "First, because she can't make a decision, and second, because she can't delegate, she can't let anything go. And having failed for those two reasons, they move her to be the counsel for the president, which requires exactly those two talents."
Not even the president can think of much interesting to say about her: In 1996, at an Anti-Defamation League Jurisprudence Award ceremony, Bush introduced Miers as a "pit bull in Size 6 shoes," a tag line that has persisted through the years, in part because colorful anecdotes or descriptions about Miers are notoriously difficult to find.
We're not even that excited about the possibility of her being gay.
http://www.wonkette.com/

The secret word is Time

MEANWHILE DOWN YONDER...
I happened across this New Orleans website by complete accident and aside from the recipes, pics and eclectic NOLA tales there is – if you scroll down a bit – also some excellent first hand refuting of the tales of horror, rape and cannibalism after Katrina that still seem to be accepted a fact by far too many. Do check it out for yourself before this ugly crap becomes ingrained as history.
http://www.gumbopages.com/looka/archive/2005-09.html

CRYPTIQUE – Fuck Thomas Hobbes and the Leviathan he rode in on.

IN THE MATTER OF PENGUINS
I’ve had a whole bunch of other things on my mind of late so I really haven’t been paying much attention to who’s been going to see what films and why, and also so many recent Hollywood movies have been so fucking dire that what little notice I did give to the subject was pretty damned depressing. In a spare moment, however, I did notice a report that March Of The Penguins has been the surprise hit of the summer, which, at first, made me very happy because I am a bigtime, lifelong penguin enthusiast, and intended to rent the DVD as soon as it came out. I was therefore somewhat taken aback though to find that March Of The Penguins has been annexed by the Christian Right who claim to have found God in the study of the emperor penguin, and now "rejoice in penguins as upholders of family values" and as "obvious proof of intelligent design." They are now apparently running special excursion to screenings and taking flashlights so they can note down anything God might say to them during the course of the film. First I groaned, but then I recalled how emperor penguins aren’t actually monogamous, and many change partners each year. Some are also gay. And, of course, they are birds, with their own unique but impenetrable belief systems.

The secret word is Snowed

WOULD YOU BELIEVE
Would you believe that, back in the day, these guys wanted me to quit the band so they could concentrate on elevating their musicianship without my insane distractions?
http://home.earthlink.net/%7Eslugnoir/Fuz/bonus.html

AUGUST WILSON -- RIP

I see the comments board has reached all the sevens. Dunno what the Rastas will have to say about that.

(Have much to say, especially about penguins, but it's been a hardwork weekend and it will have to keep to the morrow.)

The secret word is Later

REPUBLICANS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS...
"But I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." – William Bennett, former Education Secretary, former Drug Czar, author of The Book of Virtues.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9535204/

TURN UP THE SPEAKERS
This comes from logicgrl and is well worth the effort...
http://filmstripinternational.com

FIFTY YEARS
Fifty years ago today James Dean died near Paso Robles as his Porsche Spyder poughed into Donald Turnupseed’s ragged Ford, and the actor from the edge of the world became an icon and we kids thought we might ride to freedom on his doom.
Too many half centuries bear down – the dawn of Elvis, the death of Charlie Parker, Miles and John Coltrane, "Be-Bop-A-Lula", Night of the Hunter...
How much...
How much...
How much longer
(I had a pony, his name was Lucifer)

My TV proves that LA is on fire yet again, and I may have to ponder all this mortal history through the smoke-filled night.

The secret word is Conceivable

(Over on the mighty comments board, Billy Oblivion has a point, and hipspinster blogs on the fires http://hipspinster.blogspot.com/.)

GO FIGURE THIS ONE, PAT ROBERTSON
While the Gulf Coast is under water, LA is now having a late September 100F heatwave, and Chatsworth (porn capital of Planet Earth) is on fire. No George, the jury is not still out on global warming. They have come back and pronounced you guilty as charged. Do the decent thing and resign.

CRYPTIQUE – When strippers talk about agriculture and animal husbandry.

AIN’T RETRIBUTION SWEET?
Could it be that House Majority Leader Tom Delay (the man I’ve always though of as Bush’s loudly born-again Martin Borman) will really wind up as someone’s bitch in a Federal joint? Maybe not, but I can hope.

And talking of hope, I hoped this was a joke, but I’m not so sure...
http://www.happynews.com/

Some mornings the smoke screen is so thick you can’t see the hand in your pocket.

Which reminds me that I should let those you know who are still interested that I continue to battle the king size nicotine jones. I had a bit of a lapse through my last couple of days in Tokyo, but hell, I was smoking Mild 7s and a poor boy can hardly taste those suckers.
I’d pray for strength but...

GOD SEEMS TO BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM
(from Wonkette http://www.wonkette.com/ )
According to a study published in the Journal of Religion and Society, heavily religious democracies such as the United States lag significantly behind less pious, more science-friendly nation states in most key quality of life indicators. The study, conducted by social scientist Gregory Paul, gets this bracing executive summary in the London Times: In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy and abortion in the prosperous democracies. The study concluded that the US was the world’s only prosperous democracy where murder rates were still high, and that the least devout nations were the least dysfunctional. Mr Paul said that rates of gonorrhea in adolescents in the US were up to 300 times higher than in less devout democratic countries. The US also suffered from " uniquely high" adolescent and adult syphilis infection rates, and adolescent abortion rates.

The secret word is Dogbreath

MEANWHILE, BACK IN SHINJUKU
(With the right translation, nothing is ever lost)

Kaoru extends his index finger and, almost without hesitation, the bug alights on it and sits passively. The bug is tiny, but strangely cartoon-Japanese with tiny bobbles on the ends of its antennae. I ask Kaoru if this is a trick. Is the insect attracted to, like, the sweat on his skin? Or is it magic? He grins. It’s magic. But much magic had been performed during the seven days in Tokyo. Earlier in the week, I had given Kaoru a Sopranos t-shirt which he didn’t understand, David Chase’s NJ crime-family saga not having penetrated Japan, but he wore it proudly to the show in any case. It seemed, in a minor way, symbolic of how we handled everything from food to cultural fusion. Don’t quite understand what something is all about? What the fuck? Go for it anyway. It has to be interesting. And isn’t going for it the first function of art?

That I am in Tokyo at all is nothing short of magical, maybe even miraculous. That I should be flown in to read poetry, perform some rock & roll, and, as a postscript to the show, participate in a group discussion, for just one night and one night only, under the auspices of something called Tokyo Hipster’s Club (ambiguous initials THC) was hardly a run-of-the-mill occurrence in the first place. I would say that I wanted to go back to Tokyo so badly that I willed it to happen, except that would be a diminishment of all the good work put in by the formidable Gaku Torii and his partner Maki Fujimoto, the amazing Yukiko Akagawa, Ken Matsutani, the Marble Sheep and everyone else who worked so hard in reality to make my grandiose subjective illusion possible.

On the second hot, humid day in town, the phone rang. The entire two-day THC show had to be moved. An elderly geezer who dwelled near the venue had complained about noise potential and seemingly obtained some kind of legal injunction. I have heard messages like this, all the way back to Phun City and beyond. Old geezers with lawyers are simply a part of outlaw rock & roll. I will not panic, believing instead that all will ultimately be well. I mean, I have to believe all will be well. If it isn’t, my life will become temporarily untenable at a modest five thousand miles from home. And, hey! A few hours later, the problem has been solved. The entire show has been moved.

And the move is truly magical. The replacement venue is a cavernous, high-tech sound stage in the TV studios under the Tokyo Tower. Smaller than the Eiffel Tower, on which it seems modeled, the Tokyo Tower is nonetheless awesome. On the way into the studio complex, I notice a gift shop selling little five-inch models of the tower. Decided I wanted one, and cursed, when on leaving, I discovered the gift shop was closed. Maybe I should have made the purchase earlier, but there was so much to explore. The studio came with lavish TV-star dressing rooms and a green room fully stocked with beer and food. All conspired to enhance the feeling that I was doing was somehow of validity and importance. Although I am just one among the kick-ass band Slunky Side and star-veteran headliners Sheena and the Rokkets, my dressing room, maybe on a account of the presence of marijuana, becomes the party room.

On a trip to the green room for more beer, I peer, with a private eye gesture, through the blinds of its huge picture window. I find the window overlooks old buildings with elaborate tiled roofs at the edge of a park. I ask Ken what they are. He tells me a temple. Out back, temple ladies in identical trad costumes (nuns? I dunno) are taking a cigarette break.

The stage is all Jim Morrison could have hoped for. Lights, back projection, ample space. I commence with the now accustomed anomaly of reading poetry in English to a Japanese audience. This time, though with the band of Marble Sheep, plus Nabeji of Slunky Side, rising and falling, free-form, behind me. Then we get down to some old school psychedelic punk and all is well. After a super-rapid change into a dry shirt, I return to the stage with Gaku as moderator and translator Yusuke Inoue for a question and answer session that is, to say the least, a little strange until I take matters into my own hands and launch into an impassioned rant in a fervent but translatable monotone. There’s no point in any specific rhetoric about Bush, Blair or Koizumi. I talk generally about how we all live on an increasingly damaged planet that we must nurse back to health. As I write, Tokyo’s thirteenth typhoon of the season is spiraling in, New Orleans – home of the blues – has drowned. The war in Iraq drags on for Japan, Britain, and the US alike. And what is yet to come? The politicians are too self-interested to act for anyone but their corporate masters. We all, as artists, must hone our skills as weapons and get back into the fight using music and the visual, verbal and electronic arts as tools of change that transcend international boundaries. It’s maybe our only chance. The words seem now to connect as totally as the music. And afterwards I am treated as something of the hero.

Or maybe I’m just delusional, but I don’t think so. Sure I was rabble rousing to my own gratification, but I was also telling the truth as I saw it.

But the fun is not entirely over. The following night, I find myself on a street in Kitazawa (I think), a heaven of bikers, artists and hustling, high-heeled B-girls. The mission is to see Ken Matsutani play solo guitar at a tiny record store/performance space, that reminds me of the places like Café Bustello and Downtown Beirut on New York’s Lower East Side that I used to play with Henry Beck and Johnny Collins back in he 1980s as Tijuana Bible. Ken finishes a long and lyrical improvisation, and then invites me up to add some "satanic" words to his swamp guitar. I assume the stance of Victor Renquist and my Sunday-best-but-throat-ripping Beefheart delivery and launch into a lazily menacing amalgam of the off-the-cuff couplets, all I can remember from "Long Walk With The Demon", "Solitaire Devil", "Dogpoet" and more. The tightly packed crowd loves it. Wow! How much validation can a poor boy take.

Going back to the top of the story, Kaoru’s bug trick takes place during an improvised picnic on Yukiko’s roof in Shinjuku. Later a huge full moon rises over the corporate towers like a manga panel. Even though I have to fly back to LA the next day, magic really does fill the air, and I am extremely happy.

And there’s even a postscript. After my rant at THC, Yukiko tells me that my old friend Wayne Kramer, whom I haven’t seen in a long time, is expressing the self-same sentiments, and I should check out his journal. I do, and find the this is perfectly true, as in...

"I have wonderful friends all over the world. Indeed, we are all part of a new world order, a new global tribe of artists and doers and thinkers and creative people who are trying to do things that matter. The Internet allows us to stay connected. We're always conspiring on some project or another."
http://www.waynekramer.com/wk/report.cfm?&k_diary_id=27

The secret word is Together

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST STOP WATCHING TELEVISION
Of course, I won’t. In this week’s LA CityBeat I even have a riff on how TV news came through with unexpected courage in the midst of Katrina.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2645&IssueNum=120

On the other hand, as I sat watching JetBlue 292 endlessly circling LAX, I had to wonder at my own part in this lifelong cathode conspiracy. Yes, it all came out okay in the end, and as Mr MR remarked in a subsequent email "let's take the jet blu pilot and just make him head of FEMA, the dude can handle an emergency!" But I had to ask myself was that what I really wanted, or was I vicariously waiting for the twisted metal and the all-consuming orange fireball? Sometimes it seems a little too hard and maybe needlessly narcissistic to be too openly honest with oneself.

BLAME IT ON ELLEN
And if I didn’t watch TV, would I know about the following? It was, in fact sent by a.g. ford, but, without TV, there’d be no Pat Robertson...
Pat Robertson on Sunday said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s way of expressing its anger at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences for its selection of Ellen Degeneres to host this year’s Emmy Awards. "By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath," Robertson said on "The 700 Club" on Sunday. "Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?"Robertson also noted that the last time Degeneres hosted the Emmys, in 2001, the September 11 terrorism attacks took place shortly before the ceremony."This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards," Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. "America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation."
For more...
http://datelinehollywood.com/archives/2005/09/05/robertson-blames-hurricane-on-choice-of-ellen-deneres-to-host-emmys/

A PIECE OF THE ROCK
And, of course, it was only my TV that informed my how the insurance industry is already attempting to weasel out on claims by policy holders in New Orleans or Biloxi, asserting that it was not a hurricane that caused the damage (covered) but the resulting flood (not covered). Already Mississippi and Louisiana Attorney Generals are going after the cheap four-flushing bastards, but the odds may well be that, if forced to pay up, they'll declare bankruptcy and go running for a Bush government bailout.

MEANWHILE...
I’m still working on my Tokyo thoughts. Maybe a weekend treat.
And talking of Tokyo, here’s a video clip from Yukiko...
http://images2.jokaroo.net/videos/grandpajapan.wmv

And some retro-naked hippies from HCB...
http://www.nakedhippies.blogspot.com/

Also some Orwellian fun.
http://studentsfororwell.org/

The secret word is Tubular

CRYPTIQUE – We already put a man on the moon.

SO NOW WHAT?
As I watch, Rita turns into a level 5 and, while still recovering from my adventures in Tokyo, I wonder what the hell is going to be left at the end of all this? I also just realized that, before I went away, I forgot in the confusion to issue a warning that I was on BBC 3 in the UK in a show called Forty Years of F**k. Sorry about that, I hope it will repeat.

Meanwhile, it’s been brought to my attention that an Idaho weatherman on KPVI-TV who goes by the name of Scott Stevens seriously claims Japanese Yakuza used a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to cause Hurricane Katrina in a bid to avenge itself for the Hiroshima atom bomb attack - and that this technology will soon be wielded again to hit another U.S. city. For the full story...
http://www.usatoday.com/weather/climate/2005-09-20-wacky-weatherman_x.htm

I heard nothing about this while I was in Japan and I also cannot confirm that the President immediately hired Stevens to head up a massively funded division of Homeland Security. It would seem, though, the Yakuza notwithstanding, The National Enquirer thinks Georgie is back on the sauce...
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/63426

The secret word is Abandon

OKAY SO IT’S TUESDAY...
Just back from Tokyo Narita and boy are my arms tired (literally) – plus I guess a pun on the word "disorientated" comes into play. Very happy with the trip but pissed off that my faithful and longtime Zippo was confiscated under some asinine new fucking international law to defend us from terror. And then I land in the USA only to find that hurricane Rita is now bearing down on the Florida Keys and Panic Mk II is underway, my elderly cat has fleas for the first time in 12 years and is very unhappy, and then a thunderstorm cracks over LA just as I’m looking to sleep. And what is Bill Clinton up to? I guess a coupe d’etat is to too much to hope for.

I did, however, get a couple of super-cool Deviants t-shirts in the mail from this firm in the UK that is definitely worth checking out. No, I’m not making any money, but I did get a couple of free ones. http://cgi.ebay.com/THE-DEVIANTS-T-SHIRT_W0QQitemZ7542866066QQcategoryZ42443QQcmdZViewItem

More about my Oriental adventures when I have gathered my scattered wits, attended to crucial email, and generally debriefed myself.

The secret word is Jetboy

TODAY I FLY TO TOKYO FOR SOME READIN’ AND ROCKIN’ SO DOC 4O WILL FOR SILENT FOR PRECISELY A WEEK – UNLESS OF COURSE YOU HAPPEN TO BE AT THE TOKYO HIPSTERS CLUB NEXT FRIDAY NIGHT. I leave you with this thought...
"According to all aerodynamic laws, the bumblebee cannot fly because its body weight is not in the right proportion to its wingspan. But ignoring these laws, the bee flies anyway."

The secret word is Rising

SEE YOU ALL NEXT MONDAY

THE DOG DID NOT EAT GEORGE’S HOMEWORK, BUT, IF IT DID, IT’S REALLY THE FAULT OF HILLARY AND THE MEDIA
Ben Stein is a piece of human redundancy who wrote speeches for Richard Nixon, a novel about Quaaludes, did a bit of acting, and then hosted a quiz show. He also lives in LA and will be crying like a baby for FEMA and rescue when the next 7.4 hits us. Here, from The American Spectator, he does us a favor in 12-step tabulating all the standard arguments that will be used by Bush supporters and rightwing gum-flappers in the coming days, so we can all anticipate the mind-boggling bullshit in store. Over to the wholly ludicrous Ben Stein...

"A few truths, for those who have ears and eyes and care to know the truth:
1.) The hurricane that hit New Orleans and Mississippi and Alabama was an astonishing tragedy. The suffering and loss of life and peace of mind of the residents of those areas is acutely horrifying.
2.) George Bush did not cause the hurricane. Hurricanes have been happening for eons. George Bush did not create them or unleash this one.
3.) George Bush did not make this one worse than others. There have been far worse hurricanes than this before George Bush was born.
4.) There is no overwhelming evidence that global warming exists as a man-made phenomenon. There is no clear-cut evidence that global warming even exists. There is no clear evidence that if it does exist it makes hurricanes more powerful or makes them aim at cities with large numbers of poor people. If global warming is a real phenomenon, which it may well be, it started long before George Bush was inaugurated, and would not have been affected at all by the Kyoto treaty, considering that Kyoto does not cover the world's worst polluters -- China, India, and Brazil. In a word, George Bush had zero to do with causing this hurricane. To speculate otherwise is belief in sorcery.
5.) George Bush had nothing to do with the hurricane contingency plans for New Orleans. Those are drawn up by New Orleans and Louisiana. In any event, the plans were perfectly good: mandatory evacuation. It is in no way at all George Bush's fault that about 20 percent of New Orleans neglected to follow the plan. It is not his fault that many persons in New Orleans were too confused to realize how dangerous the hurricane would be. They were certainly warned. It's not George Bush's fault that there were sick people and old people and people without cars in New Orleans. His job description does not include making sure every adult in America has a car, is in good health, has good sense, and is mobile.
6.) George Bush did not cause gangsters to shoot at rescue helicopters taking people from rooftops, did not make gang bangers rape young girls in the Superdome, did not make looters steal hundreds of weapons, in short make New Orleans into a living hell.
7.) George Bush is the least racist President in mind and soul there has ever been and this is shown in his appointments over and over. To say otherwise is scandalously untrue.
8.) George Bush is rushing every bit of help he can to New Orleans and Mississippi and Alabama as soon as he can. He is not a magician. It takes time to organize huge convoys of food and now they are starting to arrive. That they get in at all considering the lawlessness of the city is a miracle of bravery and organization.
9.) There is not the slightest evidence at all that the war in Iraq has diminished the response of the government to the emergency. To say otherwise is pure slander.
10.) If the energy the news media puts into blaming Bush for an Act of God worsened by stupendous incompetence by the New Orleans city authorities and the malevolence of the criminals of the city were directed to helping the morale of the nation, we would all be a lot better off.
11.) New Orleans is a great city with many great people. It will recover and be greater than ever. Sticking pins into an effigy of George Bush that does not resemble him in the slightest will not speed the process by one day.
12.) The entire episode is a dramatic lesson in the breathtaking callousness of government officials at the ground level. Imagine if Hillary Clinton had gotten her way and they were in charge of your health care.God bless all of those dear people who are suffering so much, and God bless those helping them, starting with George Bush."

Below is something of a rebuttal from Michael Moore, although I really don’t think it’s worth bothering to debate the Stein doctrine. If someone starts spouting this crap at you, and is within easy reach, my best advice is to simply punch them hard between the eyes and be done with. If violence, even in the face of extreme provocation, cannot be considered an option for moral, religious, health, or gender reasons, simply and clearly enunciate the words "Shut the fuck up you abject cretin" and spit in their drink. Here’s Michael Moore...

"There is much to be said and done about the manmade annihilation of New Orleans, caused NOT by a hurricane but by the very specific decisions made by the Bush administration in the past four and a half years. Do not listen to anyone who says we can discuss all this later. No, we can't. Our country is in an immediate state of vulnerability. More hurricanes and other disasters are on the way, and a lazy bunch of self-satisfied lunatics are still running the show."

The secret word is Abdicate

CRYPTIQUE – The threat level is stuck on stupid.

FALANGIST FUNNIES
For a long time I have wished people would stop using the word conservative when they mean neo-Nazi psychopaths. The lethal debacle on the Gulf Coast does, however, seem to be separating the sheep from the gauleiters. The Katrina deathtoll has even moved the pitbull Robert Novak to question Bush competence in today’s edition of his syndicated column...

"The common complaint is that the president has let the lawyers take over. Chertoff, a former federal judge and assistant attorney general, is a quintessential lawyer who has surrounded himself at Homeland Security with more lawyers. Michael D. Brown, who as head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency is Chertoff's subordinate, is also a lawyer. Neither Chertoff nor Brown was experienced in politics or large-scale management before joining the Bush administration."

Unfortunately Novak doesn’t go on to say the Bush seems fucking incapable of appointing any public officials except by the criteria of graft, cronyism, and deliberate incompetence when put in charge of stuff the necons don’t like – as in FEMA and anything to do with peace or poor people. But it is major turnround. Out on the fringes, though, it’s rabid storm trooping as usual like this clip sent over by some girl by some character called Michael Calderon at David Horowitz's Frontpage Magazine. I guess this is what passes for humor among fascists...

"Expect heavily armed and infuriated conservatives to launch a cleansing war against the traitors. The armed will mow down the mostly unarmed segments, especially those elements that devoted 40-plus years to anti-American hatred to destroy this country. Should the likes of Noam Chomsky, Howard Zinn, Michael Parenti, Michael Moore, Ward Churchill, Dennis Raimondo [sic], et al. act out their sedition ... expect their bodies to be found shot full of holes ... Leftist professors will be strung up. It will be every man, woman, and child for themselves."

The secret word is Heil

A LETTER TO BOB
Dear Bob,
What is this shit, man? I went along the Victoria’s Secret TV commercial because I’m a guy and I understand. And I’ve stood up for the pencil moustache when friends said it made you look like a Jivaro shrunken head of Vincent Price, and I really did enjoy Masked and Anonymous, but, fuck it, did you have to sell The Times They Are A’Changing to Kaiser Permanente – a fucking HMO, and the reason why, in America, you stay healthy or die? Do I really have to come over and piss on your grave after I’m through with Mick & Pete.
As always,
Mick

WHEN I FIND MYSELF QUOTING CHURCHILL TWICE IN 24 HOURS, I KNOW WE’RE IN TROUBLE
"The responsibility of government for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. It is in fact, the prime object for which governments come into existence." – Winston Spencer Churchill

Spin that at your peril, Coulter, Hannity, Malkin, Limbaugh, and the rest of fawning Bush lackeys. Your boy deserves nothing but disgusted contempt. His phoney authority died in the course of last week, somewhere in Jefferson Parish, so shut the fuck up. You only dishonor the dead.

Some girl just sent over a perfect example of how the mainstream is finally getting it, and the cry is not just from a bunch of old veteran freaks...
http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-golden5sep05,0,6258105.column

Also from Bob Herbert in the NY Times...
"Like a boy being prepped for a second crack at a failed exam, Mr. Bush has been meeting with his handlers to see what steps can be taken to minimize the political fallout from this latest demonstration of his ineptitude. But this is not about politics. It's about competence. And when the president is so obviously clueless about matters so obviously important, it means that the rest of us, like the people left stranded in New Orleans, are in deep, deep trouble."

I WOULD DRAW THE PRESIDENT'S ATTENTIONN TO THE THREE "R’s" WHICH MAY BE HIS ONLY REMAINING OPTIONS...
Repentance
Resignation
or failing those...
Revolution

None of these words is a secret.

WINSTON CHURCHILL CALLED IT THE BLACK DOG. THE MOMENT OF BLEAK AND WEARY DEPRESSION WHEN IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THE FIGHT IS ENDLESS. SELF-SATISFIED STUPIDITY REIGNS, LOYAL OPPOSITION IS WHOLLY INEFFECTUAL, AND THE DEAD BODIES PILE UP IN MOUNDS. IT HAS RAINED UNTIL SEPTEMBER AND I AM ANOTHER DAY OLDER AND DEEPER IN DEBT. LIKE THE SONGS SAYS, "I COULD SLEEP FOR A THOUSAND YEARS."

BUT TOMORROW IS ANOTHER SCARLET-O’-HARA, FUCKING DAY, AND THE FACT HAS TO BE FACED THAT, AFTER FIVE YEARS OF THIS ADMINISTRATION, AND FIVE YEARS OF THEIR SO-CALLED NEW AMERICAN CENTURY, THE NUCLEAR SUPERPOWER IS AN OUT-OF-CONTROL SHAMBLES. THE BASTARDS HAVE TO GO. AS IN GO NOW. THE CHILDREN MUST BE EVICTED FROM THE NURSERY, THEY CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH THE TOYS. THE ONLY PERMISSIBLE DEBATE IS OVER THE MANNER OF THEIR DEPARTURE, FOR GO THEY MUST. THE WORLD WILL NOT SURVIVE THREE MORE YEARS OF THIS IDIOCY.

BEYOND ALL EXCUSE OR REASON 1.
The Chicago Tribune reports that the U.S.S. Bataan, "equipped with six operating rooms, hundreds of hospital beds and the ability to produce 100,000 gallons of fresh water a day," has been sitting off the Gulf Coast since last Monday - "without patients."

More to follow...

The secret word is Aghast

THANK GOD FOR WONKETTE
"We have it on good authority that Christopher Hitchens is preparing a ten-point litany explaining why conditions on the grounds in New Orleans are much better than you think." http://www.wonkette.com/

ANNE RICE
Over the years, I have, now and then, been unkind to Anne Rice. Those of us in the vampire business can take on all the bitchiness of a wolf pack at times. In today’s NY Time, though, she contributed an Op Ed piece that seemed to clarify some of the reasons I was finding myself becoming so angrily obsessive about the disaster.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/04/opinion/04rice.html?incamp=article_popular

FRESH LINKS
From guys running a blog from a building in downtown NO, which may tell more than any of the increasingly confused news channels.
http://mgno.com/

And an example (despite all the disingenuous explanations) of the probably unconscious spin that placed on even a small thing like a picture caption.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/katrina/looters.asp

PLUS
This just in from LK in Paris...UPDATE: Good God. Laura Rozen passes along the following report from a Dutch reader:There was a striking dicrepancy between the CNN International report on the Bush visit to the New Orleans disaster zone, yesterday, and reports of the same event by German TV.ZDF News reported that the president's visit was a completely staged event. Their crew witnessed how the open air food distribution point Bush visited in front of the cameras was torn down immediately after the president and the herd of 'news people' had left and that others which were allegedly being set up were abandoned at the same time.

MY PET GOAT AND THE BUTCHER’S BILL
At the end of the engagement Nelson would ask for "the butcher’s bill." (For the historically-challenged, Horatio Nelson was the Brit admiral who trashed Napoleon by sea.) The butcher’s bill was his name for the casualty figures, and I very tired of reading the butcher’s bill run up by the My Pet Goat inefficiency of George W. Bush.

The words of the President quoted below are simply not those of a leader with the slightest grasp of reality...
"The good news is - and it’s hard for some to see it now - that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott’s house—he’s lost his entire house - there’s going to be a fantastic house. And I’m looking forward to sitting on the porch."

And talking of reality, there seems to be a fight brewing among the Red-State right, between the humans who have finally realized that their boy is a clown, and the wholly deluded who still spring to his defense. This set of posts seems pretty representative of a trip I took around the rightwing blogs...
http://right-thinking.com/index.php/weblog/comments/10557/

MEANWHILE
In a highly creative use of the internet, a wiki-map of the Gulf Coast has been created at...
http://www.scipionus.com/

The secret word is Accountability

Thanks for all the birthday wishes.

SEE THE CONSERVATIVE COMPASSION
SEE THE PRESIDENTIAL LEADERSHIP
ALL THE FUN OF THE FIASCO
BUT THE POOR DIE IN THE STREET

Around 3.00AM last night I was in the depths of disgust. I had heard the words "shoot to kill" at least seven times on various newscasts, plus Louisiana’s totally ineffectual Governor Blanco posturing about her "300 soldiers fresh back from Iraq" and how "they have M-16s, and they're locked and loaded. These troops know how to shoot and kill, and they are more than willing to do so if necessary, and I expect they will." Fury gripped me as these assholes attempted to blame the victims for the disaster, as in Michael Chertoff, the ludicrous Secretary of Homeland Security, claiming food couldn’t reach the Superdome because it had "crowd control issues." And then Bush himself bleating how "nobody expected the breach of the levees." Bush simply refuses to accept that he is the leader, the bucks stop with him, and, in a parliamentary democracy, there would be an opposition howling for his head and his resignation after he had allowed a large and decimated city to go without food, water, and medical supplies for four days without doing a fucking thing.
Today, as the first pathetic trickle of relief came in, and the mayor went on radio to curse the feds, I was marginally less furious. Grateful at least for Harry Connick, Kanye West, and few angry TV reporters who were stopping the horror from being buried either in lies and racism, or touchy-feely, self-congratulatory sacchine about white babies saved from wrath of the storm and the evil looters.

The email flies thick and fast, and here are some of the usual suspects.

HCB comments on yesterday’s diatribe against Fox...
Don't forget O'Reilly asserting, several times, that many of the people who stayed in NO deliberately remained behind so they could loot and wreak havoc. The question is, if a handful of street level thugs could successfully anticipate the effect of Katrina, why couldn't the government? As usual the Murdoch Rottweilers have laid down their firewall to allay any criticism of the Bush administration, while Condi takes in a show and buys shoes, and Bush struts about and pretends to give a shit. Funny, even in their little group photo op with the governors, Bush can hardly stay focused as he pretends to listen. Missing, I noticed, the their little assembly, was the governer of LA and the Mayor of NO. We haven't seen him for days, have we?

Meanwhile some girl has the goods on Condi and the comment "i would say it's un effing believeable, but nothing these people do ever surprises me."

Courtesy of Gawker: "Secret service is all over Seventh Avenue. That f---ing worthless bitch is shopping in showrooms right now." Whoa, such language! And how could anyone just assume that our leaders have anything other than the best intentions? We actually have it on good authority that Condi’s snapping up the best of the Spring 2006 collections and sending the fripperies directly to the Red Cross.
"Eyewitness: Sec of State Condoleezza Rice laughs it up at 'Spamalot' while the Gulf Coast lays in tatters. Theatergoers on New York City's Great White Way were shocked to see the president's former national security advisor at the Monty Python farce last night - as the rest of the Cabinet responds to Hurricane Katrina."
According to the Drudge Report, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has recently enjoyed a little Broadway entertainment. And Page Six reports that she’s also working on her backhand with Monica Seles. So the Gulf Coast has gone all Mad Max, and Rice is enjoying a brief vacation in New York. We wish we were surprised. What does surprise us: Just moments ago at the Ferragamo on 5th Avenue, Condoleeza Rice was seen spending several thousands of dollars on some nice, new shoes (we’ve confirmed this, so her new heels will surely get coverage from the Washington Post’s Robin Givhan).
A fellow shopper, unable to fathom the absurdity of Rice’s timing, went up to the Secretary and reportedly shouted, "How dare you shop for shoes while thousands are dying and homeless!" Never one to have her fashion choices questioned, Rice had security PHYSICALLY REMOVE the woman.Angry Lady, whoever you are, we love you. You are a true American, and we’ll go shoe shopping with you anytime. Copyright 2005 Gawker.com

Some girl has also found Fats Domino
(Reuters) - Rock 'n' roll pioneer Fats Domino, who went missing in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, was rescued by boat from floodwaters near his New Orleans home and is "stressed out" but safe, his agent said on Friday. Domino, 77, beloved for his boogie-woogie piano style and such hits as "Ain't That a Shame" and "Blueberry Hill," ended up as one of thousands of New Orleans residents stranded by flooding after he rebuffed pleas from friends to evacuate as the storm bore down on the city, agent Al Embry told Reuters.
The rotund musician, his wife, Rosemary, and at least one daughter were picked up by rescue boat on Tuesday following frantic efforts by Embry to alert authorities that Domino and his family were believed trapped in their home, Embry said. "We heard he was on the balcony with his family and waving to people." He said Domino and his family initially were taken to the New Orleans Superdome with thousands of other evacuees and have since been moved to an unspecified location "because of all the media attention." "He is doing well, he's just stressed out a little bit," Embry said in a phone interview from Nashville, Tennessee. "But praise God, he got out of the thing." A daughter, Karen Domino White, who lives in New Jersey, told news agencies she had identified her father from a photograph published by the New Orleans Times-Picayune, showing a man being helped out of a rescue boat. Embry said he confirmed details of Domino's rescue in calls to a son of the musician and the governor's office.

While kaymo views the menachious inner workings and dark agendas beneath the veneer of excuses...
Vis a Vis Limbaugh and Reilly etc.... the campaign to turn the disaster of New Orleans into a plus for the GOP is underway. Make it an "urban riot"-- read black youths with guns-- and we know what part of America will start saluting. But for Rove the demise of New Orleans is an electoral plus. It destroys the big Democratic vote center in Louisiana, a state that wobbles slightly in its assigned Southern Strategy Orbit. Once the population of New Orleans has been put in refugee camps, for a good long stay, the campaign to get rid of Louisiana's annoying Democratic Senator Landrieu will get underway in earnest. Rove always has his eye on the prize, the permanent Republican Majority and One Party Rule.

And Rob, a very old pal, also made contact with word on other missing musicians...
My man in the Louisiana music scene, CC Adcock, says Willie (de Ville) no longer lives in NO and has moved back to NYC. Children by the millions still wait to hear about Alex Chilton. (And whether Allen Toussaint is really in the Superdome.) CC actually went in to NO yesterday with his friend, producer Mike Neopolitano (who is also Ani DiFranco's husband), to retrieve some albums he was working on that were on hard drive. CC says that French Quarter is unscathed, but the whole scene is bizarre. And saw few if any cops/troops/rescuer workers, raising questions as to whether what the govt. tells us is true.

Rob also has a great piece in Salon on the Camp Crawford
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/083105M.shtml

The word is Communications. It’s no secret.

OH YEAH – Tomorrow is my birthday. At least I will not die young. But I still want gifts.

THE DOOMWATCH THAT NEVER SEEMS TO END

WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT?

This is going to appear disjointed because, right now I feel disjointed. Almost a poem of helpless fury. All afternoon, I have been spasmodically watching a great American city – the birthplace of the blues – slip away. Where now is the much vaunted Homeland Security as inhabitants beg to TV cameras "Help us! Help us!"? Maybe too busy spying on librarians?

A massive chant – "Help us! Help us!", while I can personally do nothing except rage. I’ve seen people dying in the supposed shelters at the Superdome and the NO Convention center without food and water, while, tanks roll on downtown streets loaded with heavily armed police and National Guard protecting fucking corporate property. I’ve seen an NBC reporter in shock, telling of the deaths, and how the rumors of anarchy are vastly exaggerated, and trying to make clear the difference between anarchy and folks foraging for food and medicine to survive. He also begs for help.

And yet, on Fox news I’ve watched in disgust as Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly hammer on and on about "the breakdown of law and order", and stack up the buzz words until you need wings to stay above them – "rape", "looting", "crime", "gangs", "chaos" "disorder", "anarchy." On radio, the hideous Limbaugh huffs and puffs that the people still in NO and Biloxi don’t deserve help. They were warned to get out. (And a nod and a foul Limbaugh wink. After all, they’re only poor black people.)

BUT WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT?

Fox would have us believe that relief cannot be brought until the streets are secure. And yet the continue to hamper relief efforts by spreading their horrorshow rumors. I am not going to forget this, you bastards. News crews fly in and out, and even Harry Connick can get in. Are media and musicians braver than FEMA and the National Guard? At the Convention Center, Connick seemingly talked to people and did what he could. The same NBC reporter told how he was the closest thing to an authority figure to come there since the levee burst. Maybe Fox are loyally covering up for the Federal cluster fuck, but, like I said, I ain’t going to forget what I’ve seen. Or the deathly quiet from all of those usually make so much unholy noise about the right to life. Were’s your fucking God today, Pat Robertson? No one to blame, Ann fucking Coulter? Where are the sooo patriotic flags in the windows of the SUV, assholes? Must the weeping be left to atheists?

EMAILS COME FROM THE EQUALLY ANGRY

HCB hasn’t been exactly helpless...Put Irish radio in touch with John Swenson, who's been supplying nightly reports on NO, as have I. The fun part is that John helped them make a connection with the bartender of Johnny White's Sports Bar, which has stayed open throughout, and she's feeding them the right sort of local color commentary. A real coup.

But he’s still pissed enough to be quoting Orson Welles...
Harry Lime: "Victims? Don't be melodramatic. Tell me. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever?"
The Third Man
Bush looks down from Air Force One, 2000 feet in the air, and remarks "it's got to be doubly devastating on the ground," Wonder if he feels any more connected to the worms below than he does the red blots in Baghdad?

He also provides a link to a sobering essay by Dion Dennis
http://www.ctheory.net/text_file.asp?pick=468

While kaymo looks dourly to the future...
Or not. Maybe I'm just a cynical old hippy, but I have to wonder if the future New Orleans won't just be a small domed entity around the hotels and the French Quarter-- operated by Disney-- plus the industrial sector that the rest of the country needs, while the ruined slums and suburbs will be left to the Formosan Termites and the waves.This may sound heartless and all that, but this is a Republican country run by flinty hearted Christians who like to spend their money on themselves, right? Why would they want to build housing for hundreds of thousands of poor, nay destitute, African Americans, especially as said housing would just become a huge, juicy target for the next Category 5 Hurricane that happens to slam into that part of the Gulf Coast?
Estimated costs of rebuilding New Orleans are already running over $100 Billion. Seeing as how the country is already deep in the red and has an expensive little war on its hands that won't go away, I don't see how this thing is doable, other than as a limited re-build of a tourist district.But even that may be hard to contemplate, until the many square miles of flooded, ruined homes, mired in filth and corpses have been bulldozed, or cleared away.
And any time, this year or next, or a few more down the road, another big Hurricane is gonna come boiling out of the Gulf. And a little farther down that road, when the oceans are a wee bit warmer, there's gonna be a new kind of storm, Category Six, with sustained winds of 200 mph.In fact this disaster may just be the first of several to come, with Miami, Charleston, Houston, Savannah, Mobile all capable of providing the next. With the obvious fragility of American civilization exposed-- one big storm can disrupt gasoline supply to half the country-- one has to wonder if this may not be the beginning of a long retreat from the southern coasts, a pulling back to higher ground and safer land.

Some girl sends a related link to yet another of global warming symptom in Scotland...
"last year's breeding failures were due to lack of food for seabirds as a result of warming seas along the east coast which are a result of climate change."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/4201880.stm

Maybe that’s enough for now. I feel strange. Disgust is tiring. I just heard on TV that Fats Domino is among the missing. And has anyone heard anything of Willy de Ville?

The secret word is Shameful

DOOMWATCH KATRINA
It’s hard to come to grips with the fact that New Orleans as we knew it is history. I also worry about the friends and folks I know down yonder. And between the bouts of numbness with the TV images, I want to leap up and down and scream. "It was a superstorm, motherfuckers, because the temperatures on the ocean surface are too fucking high!" But maybe rage is not yet appropriate.

This email came from Cole Coonce, a stalwart colleague at LA CityBeat, and I share it because it brings the disaster into a tighter, more personal focus...

... as of this morning, the levees have broken and the water in New Orleans is rising an inch every five minutes....
In the days before the hurricane and subsequent flood, I took snaps from a trolley going uptown from St. Charles and of the statue of Ignatius J. Reilly on Canal Street. I also took pics while cycling along the levees that are supposed to keep the Mississippi River in check and out of New Orleans itself. Also is stuff from the French Quarter, where my old pal Bo Fingers insisted we look for his friend Al Broussard, the Human Trumpet. (Turns out Al passed a couple of years ago, but we still have a grand time.)
I left New Orleans early Sunday. All Flights were cancelled, rental cars were non-existent and it was a 20 hour bus ride to Houston 300 miles away (the nearest airport) Sunday morning to Monday morning. The exodus was replete with a stinking backed-up toilet and an air conditioner whose condensation leaked into my lap for the duration... the first 10 miles took six hours... the bus driver bailed on the interstates and took parish highways through swamps, plantation country and sugar cane fields, which allowed for a lengthy meditation on the duality of the South as well as the imminent devastation.... anyway, I finally caught a plane out of George Bush last night...
And, of course, I got off light.So: Also documented is the Natchez Trace in Jackson, Mississippi, where I spent a couple of days last week cycling with my sister and my mom's neighbor, who -- come to find out -- is a DEA agent. Yes, Missisippi: My family got hit pretty hard by Katrina in Jackson and near Hattiesburg.... torn up fences and power lines, uprooted 150 foot pine trees, etc... My good ol Uncle Ed and Aunt Dot cannot get out of their house because of the prodigious amount of debris... but at leeast they lived... still, they are pretty demoralized and their plight makes me rather sad and feeling somewhat guilty about being back in Los Angeles and not back their helping them sift through the damage...
Even though none of these were shot in the storm itself, I still make no apologies for the blurriness of any of these photos. With the camera in hand, I rarely get off the bike, nor stop the vehicle. Except for the stuff in the French Quarter, these pics are all about motion... as was the situation in Mississippi and Louisiana itself.
Keep in mind that a lot of this stuff is now underwater and is teeming with sewage, water mocassins and dysentery.
80 people are dead in Gulfport, Mississippi alone. Trust me: that is a very conservative count. My mom told me the winds of Biblical proportion beat up her house ALL day Monday. Jackson is 180 miles north of the coast. There is more damage than is really fathomable along all those small towns from the coast, up the delta and into hill country. I cannot confirm this yet, but there is a rumor that Richton, Mississippi (where my Uncle Ed is the local doctor) is basically g-o-n-e. So: the only difference between this and the tsunami that hit Southeast Asia not too long ago is that the American peoples of the Gulf Coast were given 48 to 72 hours notice that the shit was going to hit the fan. We'll see how much difference that notice will make in the final casualty count.
http://www.kerosenebomb.com/natcheztrace-neworleans

The secret word is Mortality

SUNDAY OP-ED
Today I had my first op-ed piece in the LA Times, which I guess is some kinda landmark. If the subject matter seems a little unexpected it was requested not instigated. I hope there will be more
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-oe-farren28aug28,0,3101267.story?coll=la-news-comment-opinions

The secret words is Debut

CRYPTIQUE – You wicked political dwarf, we will resolutely smash your desperate war moves!

SATURDAY ODDS AND ENDS
Saturday afternoon. It’s hot. The TV beyond the wall just told me it was 108F in Chatsworth (where the porn comes from.) I should be answering emails. I should be writing. I should be reading someone’s novel, I should be reading someone else’s screenplay. I have work to do, but right now I’m not doing it. I suppose I should be commenting on polls that claim the 2008 Presidential Race will be between Hillary and Rudy Giuliani, and maybe warning how, if Georgie-Boy continues to look so bad as we approach the 2006 midterm elections, the Republicans must not be allowed to slide away from him.
But I’m not.
I’m playing with a North Korean Insult Generator (see below) and mightily procrastinating. Later, I don’t doubt, guilt – if nothing else – will motivate me back to the grind, but, in the meantime, I am enjoying the sweet lethargy of life, and posting some odds and ends that might amuse.

ANOTHER SPECIMEN OF DRUG WAR FOLLIES
(via munz)
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/27/opinion/27tierney.html?th&emc=th

SOMETHING POSTED FOR NO REASON EXCEPT IT CAUGHT MY IDLE IMAGINATION
(From Japan Today) KOBE — Kenichi Shinoda, the Yamaguchi-gumi's No. 2 man, formally became the sixth boss of Japan's largest crime syndicate in a ceremony held Saturday at its headquarters in Kobe. The ceremony, marking the first change of power for the Yamaguchi-gumi in 16 years, was attended by some 100 leaders and members of affiliated groups nationwide, police said.
The Yamaguchi-gumi traditionally holds such a ceremony to mark a change of power, which is intended to establish "quasi-blood relations" between the new boss and his subordinates, the police source said. According to the National Police Agency, the Yamaguchi-gumi had about 39,200 members and quasi-members last year, which accounted for 45% of all gang members throughout Japan.

AND NOW A MESSAGE FROM OUR BELOVED AND THRICE BLESSED LEADER
relayed by HCB...
http://www.nk-news.net/extras/insult_generator.php

CRYPTIQUE – The trick is not minding.

The secret word is Tomorrow

DOOMWATCH
As part of Doc40's untiring efforts to prove that it’s later than we think, and global warning is further advanced than most in power are willing to admit, we (like Rod Serling) submit the following for you consideration...

The world’s biggest bog is melting. The West Siberia peat bog is the size of France and Germany combined and it is turning from permafrost to a land o’ lakes, releasing billions of tonnes of methane into the atmosphere in the process. Botanist Sergei Kirpotin described it as an "ecological landslide that is probably irreversible and undoubtedly connected to climatic warming." Temperatures in western Siberia have increased on average by 3C in the past forty years, but the thawing of millions of square miles of frozen peat has "all taken place in the last three or four."

The secret word is Slush

TRIVIA
Q: Who said "fascism is a merging of corporations and government"?
A: Benito Mussolini who, in context, probably knew what he was talking about.

CONFLAGRATION
For those of you who have been asking, my novel Conflagration, the sequel to Kindling, has finally found itself a slot in the Tor Books schedule. It will be out in June of 2006.

HYPNOTIC SUGGESTION – (in an accent like Bela Lugosi with high creepy minor chords) You will buy a book this weekend. You will buy a book by Mick Farren this weekend. (more creepy minor chords)

OH YEAH, I ALMOST FORGOT...
New Mick's Media column out in LA CityBeat...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2533&IssueNum=116

BOSS GOODMAN UPDATE
A little tardy in posting, but all is well. Su writes...
You probably already heard, but Boss has had his angiogram and his arteries are fine. They're letting him go home today.

And from Boss himself via Funtopia Rich
"Angiogram done no probs, arteries all fine, goin' home today...YAH HOOTIE!"

RE ANN COULTER (see yesterday)
The following was sent over by HCB...
One of my favorites, from Casablanca:
Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris?
Rick: It's not particularly my beloved Paris.
Heinz: Can you imagine us in London?
Rick: When you get there, ask me!
Captain Renault: Hmmh! Diplomatist!
Major Strasser: How about New York?
Rick: Well there are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn't advise you to try to invade.

As for Robertson, seems to me that the Venezuelan angle is their relationship with Iran, more so than supplying Jamaica with low-cost oil and swapping oil for doctors with Cuba. Chavez is being very cute meantime and declaring that he wants to give poor people in America cheap oil and gas. I'd love to see that.
But the fun part is how Robertson has got himself jammed in the middle between Bush's religious right agendas and oil interests. The poor cousin in the religious right has always been the hillbilly pentacostal factor, which the Bush folks, and the slicker members of that establishment, I'm sure, are as eager to forget as Nashville was when they went looking for slick country and tried to bury Hony Tonk, back when. But musically, Hillbilly is now hip, whereas it's be a cold night for alligators before Fallwell shares a snake with Oral Roberts, or Robertson teams up for a tandem limousine hooker humjob with Swaggert.
Did you catch the Texas chupacabra, by the way? Ratty looking thing, but the scary part is the fangs.

AND CHECK THIS OUT...
The site linked below has the preposterous idea that we should all make use of Paypal to buy Christopher Hitchens a drink. "Fuck off" I cry. Hitchens is grossly overpaid by Vanity Fair for his drunken revisionism. On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind the odd bottle of scotch donated by an awed reader. Of course, I’m too tech-inept to instal the Paypal button, but it’s worth thinking about.
http://windsofchange.net/archives/005182.php

(The email here, by the way, is byron4d@msn.com)

The secret word is Malt

COMPARATIVE RELIGION
So the founder of the Christian Coalition and constant political player Pat Robertson called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, declaring, "it's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war. And I don't think any oil shipments will stop." Since I don’t watch The 700 Hundred Club (few do) except when very drunk, I don’t know Robertson’s precise beef with Chavez, but I would surmise that it has something to do with Venezuela having a mess of oil, Chavez being a socialist, having his picture taken with Fidel, and giving the finger to the US oil barons. Any of the above would be enough to set off the loathsome Robertson. I don’t doubt Old Pat will get away with this statement unscathed, but I have to reflect that, if I was to call for the assassination of any political leaders I didn’t like, even on this humble weblog, I’d have the FBI ripping through my harddrive and god only knows what else.

AND TALKING OF LOATHSOME
In one of her recent, narrowly syndicated columns, Ann Coulter includes the most extraordinary aside. In a tired retread of basic Bush, she weakly rants...the savages have declared war, and it's far preferable to fight them in the streets of Baghdad than in the streets of New York...but then goes on to add... (where the residents would immediately surrender). Say what? Have you forgotten, my dear, that New York is the only place in this wretched country to actually go through the fire? I’d advise staying off 2nd Avenue for the next few weeks. Paulie and Sal want to talk to you, and they don’t look happy.

MO’ RELIGION
I know that this is very far from new, but since it’s making he rounds, I though I’d post it.
Taoism: shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius says, shit happens.
Buddhism: if shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen: what is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: this shit happened before.
Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Protestantism: let shit happen to someone else.
Native American: what is the medicine of shit?
Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it.
Judaism: why does this shit always happen to us?
Pantheism: it's all the same shit.
Atheism: I don't believe this shit.
Agnosticism: what is this shit?

The secret word is Fatwah

CRYPTIQUE – There are no injections against the devil.

SUNDAY FUNNIES
Woke up this morning, and, for want of anything better to do, I read the NY Times (oh boy). Gleaned some hope from an excellent piece by Frank Rich that seemed to confirm my hope/feeling that maybe the nation has reached a tipping point on the nonsensical bloody war.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/21/opinion/21rich.html?th=&adxnnl=1&emc=th&adxnnlx=1124669278-pcViXMxZuNBkIUkaXlDjWQ
I also picked up the snippet of information that "if the American military presence in the region lasts another five years, the total outlay for the war could stretch to more than $1.3 trillion, or $11,300 for every household in the United States."

But then I turned to a story about all the fucking money that’s being poured into "the debate between evolution and intelligent design" that is no fucking debate at all and the fucking NY Times ought to know better, and all the weight of depression came back as I remembered the millions out there who adamantly believe that God created the world in six days and that The Dukes Of Hazzard is entertainment for humans.

And then an email came from some girl with a link she’d recieved from 00Soul and I had to laugh.
http://supermodelpersonals.blogspot.com/

It was only at this point that I turned to the LA Times and discovered Hunter's farewell.
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-thompson21aug21,0,5289216.story?track=tothtml

CRYPTIQUE – How long can I share a planet with Jessica Simpson?

The secret word is Acute

REAL BAD NEWS
THE HORROR, THE HORROR, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN IS NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT! For more, read....
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003295.html
And then perhaps wonder who now will lead the Voters of The Dead Zone?
The secret word is Disappointed

MORE ASSORTED COMMUNICATIONS (this starts below, but such is the way of the blog)
After my methamphetamine story in LA CityBeat, (see last Thursday) HCB sends the following literary snippet...
'Benzedrine,' said James Bond. 'It's what I shall need if I'm going to keep my wits about me tonight. It's apt to make one a bit overconfident, but that'll help too.' He stirred the champagne so that the white powder whirled among the bubbles. Then he drank the mixture down with one long swallow. 'It doesn't taste,' said Bond, 'and the champagne is quite excellent.' – from Moonraker

And some girl sent this link, unrelated but fun...
http://www.fedexfurniture.com/
(But, yo Boarg, might you have not have conceived and built such things back in the day?)

ASSORTED PLUGS & COMMUNICATIONS
Dimitris sends the following as discordant satire, but I tend to believe it especially, the bit about pirates and global warming. And I really want one of those faux-Michelangelo mugs, maybe for my upcoming birthday.
http://www.venganza.org/.

LEARNED AND FREE
Our friend Jake has been a-publishing and now writes...
Invisible Books is pleased to announce the online publication of Hours One through Six of the Book Amduat. The complete text, in English, Hieroglyphics and transliteration, with all illustrations reproduced and explicated, is available without charge in PDF format.
Amduat, describes Ra's journey through the twelve hours of the night. It is the Divine Comedy of Ancient Egypt, and the most influential religious text ever produced there.
This is the first complete translation to appear in English in 100 years, the only version of the hieroglyphic text available online or currently print.
http://www.invisiblebooks.com/Amduat.htm

He also sends a kind encouragement for my kicking nicotine...
Burroughs once told me it was harder to quit than junk. I'm not sure about that, since he never really managed to quit either. If you can manage this, you have strength such as few men possess. And if you fall off the wagon, dust yourself off and get back on in a few days. "Seven falls make a rider."

NOT FREE BUT NICE
Plus another plug for Ellen, a good friend of Doc40, who has her own crafts store on ebay. Check it out...
http://stores.ebay.com/MooCat-Arts_W0QQssPageNameZviQ3asibQ3astoreviewQQtZkm

IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS
A number of people have asked when Conflagration, the sequel to Kindling, will be published and my only answer right now – and until September when Tor Books and the rest of New York gets fully back to work – is "I don’t have a clue", except it will probably be a while since the paperback of Kindling has still to come out.

The secret word is Waiting

SPEED. KNOW WHAT I MEAN? RIGHT?
Cover story in current LA CityBeat is a summation of most of my current thoughts on amphetamine. (sniff)
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2491&IssueNum=115

Now if I could just remember where I put the secret word...

The following fell from the net and...
ALL I CAN SAY IS...YES!! OH YES!!

To: Friends, Family, and my fellow Americans
Subject: Get America Back On Track!

It's not too early to be thinking about the future of this country and who's going to lead it. Election after election we're given the "choice" between two unappealing candidates and have no choice but to vote for the one we dislike less. But now, that's about to change.
Stepping up to the forefront of politics is a new type of leader, motivated by his love for his country, not special interest groups. His distinct image and captivating voice you already know, and now it's your chance to make him the leader of the people, for the people, by the people. That's right... Christopher Walken is running for President.
Now, at this early stage of the campaign, is when the grass-roots voters like us can really influence the candidates we'll see in the elections. So take a few minutes to visit the Walken 2008 Home Page at http://www.walken2008.com , read about the man and his ideas, and send them a message of your support. This is how the system should work, and now's your chance to have your voice. Don't let it slip away!
Sincerely,
-A caring citizen

CANDIDATE QUOTE – "Bear costumes are funny... Bears as well."

The secret word is Heterochromia.

BOSSWATCH
Most other things have been off the table in the last 24 hours while emails have been flying over the condition of our favorite heart attack victim. Even the 28th anniversary of the Death of Elvis has been largely ignored (Although here's an artifact...
http://www.nytimes.com/learning/general/onthisday/big/0816.html

I talked to Boss on the phone just now and seem chipper, pleased to be in bed and waited upon, and willing to gossip about all the rest of you. Seems resigned to cutting out the booze and taking up swimming. Also lectured him on joining the 21st century and getting webbed. A computer may not be essential to a master chef, but, as a DJ, the MP3 modern world is crowding in. The following from Su tells most of the current story.

Hello folks – Visited Boss in Hammersmith Hospital last night - he was looking fine, not wired up to anything. He's going to have an angioplasty in the next few days - will keep you posted. The address is: Hammersmith Hospital, Du Cane Road, London W12 0HS - he's currently in Ward B2 but will be moving to a different one before the op (actually I don't think they call it an operation, it's a procedure which is carried out with only a local anaesthetic, I believe). They don't usually keep people in long after an angioplasty, so with luck he'll be home soon. OK, I'm off to google 'angioplasty' and really wind myself up. PS The hospital being next door to Wormwood Scrubs Prison, Boss is sharing his ward with a prisoner under 24-hour guard, weird.

And an update comes from Rich – Boss has his angiogram today and has now been moved toWard A9.

The secret word is Goodmayes

BOSS GOODMAN
Stop The Presses – For those of you who know him, either personally, or by repute, Boss has suffered a heart attack. The following comes from Rich and tells about all that I know right now.

This is nothing to get too alarmed about I hope, but I spoke to Boss tonight and he's had a minor heart attack and has been admitted to Hammersmith Hospital. He answered his mobile and sounded OK, and they've taken him off monitors etc. but they're still keeping him in to do an angio-wotsit in a few days time. He was very chirpy and cracking jokes, so hopefully it's nothing really serious, and he said they've been brilliant at the hospital, so at least he's in good hands too. I think he'll be in for at least a few days yet.

BITING THE BULLET II
Second day in and my nicotine withdrawal is going wholly to plan. This is not about to become some dreary detox diary – perish the thought. I have far too much to do. I would like to thank all the well-wishers who have emailed me or posted on the lumbering comments board. Gentlemen, I appreciate the support. Mr. MR has also sent this bouquet of ancient, big-tobacco, propaganda kitsch.
http://www.chickenhead.com/truth/pallmall2_40.html

The secret word is Lucifer

CRYPTIQUE – But, doctor, what do I do with my hands?

BITING THE BULLET
Having finally admitted what many have been telling me for years – I will almost certainly die a week from next Thursday unless I quit cigarettes. I am, therefore, this weekend, biting the bullet and doing it. Serious withdrawal. Plus I’m making this public statement so I will totally humiliated if I slip back into my old Humphrey Bogart ways. Having said that, I won’t go whining on about this for pages, unless I start receiving "told-you-so" lectures and other irritants, in which case I will probably seek a long rifle, and a tall building, and let he heartaches begin. This is not easy. As my old pal Willie DeVille once told me, "Quitting nicotine is harder than quitting dope". And I’ve been doing this shit for 45 some years, with James Dean, James Bond, Frank Sinatra, and Bette Davis to reinforce how cool it was. This I need kindness, tolerance and gifts of nicotine gum and those plastic pacifier thingies. More later. Right now I must withdraw to withdraw.

The secret word is Zippo.

DRUGS, DRUGS, AND MORE DRUGS
For the last two/three days I have been writing an erudite piece on crystal meth, its manufacture and history. If all goes according to plan, it will be the cover story in next week’s LA CityBeat. In the meantime my media column in this week’s issue is mainly about marijuana.
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2469&IssueNum=114

I would also draw your attention to this bizarre story from Wired. It would seem like we humans are still so stupid that we piss in the river, but, at the same time, have the technology to analyze and measure the chemical content of the urine.
http://www.wired.com/news/medtech/0,1286,68434,00.html

The secret word is Pseudoephedrine

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE INTERLUDES OF CHAOS?

WELL THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN HAD IT BEEN SO...
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=2601530&blogID=24862361

SEEMINGLY NOT...

LET'S SEE IF THIS WORKS

..
http://download.wbr.com/thesun/rd.mov">
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http://download.wbr.com/thesun/rd.mov"%20WIDTH="320"%20HEIGHT="240"%20AUTOPLAY="true"%20C.."false"%20PLUGINSPAGE="

NOVAK UNGLUED
Seems that the wantonly ugly Robert Novak came unglued on CNN. I missed it, but some girl sent over chapter and verse for those who care. I would that it was the start of a much greater unravelling.
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2005/08/04.html#a4309

The secret word is Warthog

ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER WEEKLY
LA CityBeat comes round again, and this week I have two pieces. An analysis of the new terrorism that I really do think has something to say for itself...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2416&IssueNum=113

And also more whimsical observations on the local wildlife...
http://lacitybeat.com/article.php?id=2414&IssueNum=113

The secret word is Corvid

PARIS HILTON IS SHOPPING FOR A CATHEDRAL
I read in The Week that Paris Hilton attempted to rent St. Paul’s in London for her wedding to Paris the Greek, but she was turned down. Doubtless she will go on looking. Nortre Dame? Chartes? Isn’t there one in Dresden? Doubtless she could lease something gothic in Roumania pretty cheap, although I personally think it more fitting for her nuptials should take place in the Astrodome as a pay-per-view special. What Paris doesn’t know is that she has helped crystalize an idea for a new novel. Essentially about wealth. All I have so far are the scant lines of dialogue below, and no idea if any gastropod publisher would ever put it out, but it is growing in my head and you are actually witnessing conception...

(Two unnamed characters, one of whom is very rich.)
"The vast majority of the very rich don’t deserve their fucking fortunes."
"They don’t?"
"They think the only purpose of wealth is to flaunt it with an obscene lack of originality." Unamed was always careful never to split infinitives. "I mean, okay, Branson has his spaceship, but..."
Other-Unnamed raised an eyebrow, sensing a revelation. "But what?"
"I believe I can now buy myself my very own nuclear weapon and still have change left over."
Other-Unnamed took a deep breath, aware that Unnamed was serious. "Wouldn’t you have to buy a small country to keep it in?"
Unnamed smiled. "I have my island."

THE CIRCLE MAY SOON BE UNBROKEN
Some girl sent over this link which would seem to indicate that even solid, old-school rightwingers are having problems with the Bush agenda.
http://www.webcommentary.com/asp/ShowArticle.asp?id=andersonm&date=050728

Meanwhile this fell from the blue; a marathon debate about white kids wearing dreadlocks. Something with which I empathize for obvious reasons. (I particularly like the Swedish kid who claims Vikings wore dreads.)
http://birdhouse.org/blog/archives/2001/07/white_boy_dreadlock.php

The secret word is Natty

YESTERDAY’S BUSTS Part 2
As I was cutting the codes out of this second piece from The Guardian sent over by Roger in Scotland, I wondered to myself why I was bothering to post this stuff. Was it an odd forensic nostalgia, or just because recent days have been so depressingly August? Or maybe there is some merit, while dope remains eternally demonized and illegal here in the USA, to remember a nervously naive time when the London authorities through they could stamp out the whole thing by rounding up the obvious celebrities. (Plus hundreds of lesser mortals.)

Sir Mick Jagger may now be a respected knight of the realm, but 35 years ago, when he claimed that detectives had tried to plant drugs on him, police were distinctly unimpressed. Secret files released yesterday to the National Archives show that an internal inquiry by Scotland Yard dismissed the allegations, saying the Rolling Stones singer was caught up in "the world of users of dangerous drugs". Jagger's main witnesses were described as "the dregs of society", while his girlfriend Marianne Faithfull - who was also caught up in the claims - was said to be "most unreliable".The allegations followed a police raid on Jagger's home in London's fashionable Cheyne Walk in Chelsea on 28 May 1969, led by the head of the local drugs squad, Detective Sergeant Robin Constable.
A quantity of cannabis resin was seized by the police. However, the allegation that Sgt Constable had tried to plant some "white powder" on Jagger and then demanded a £1,000 bribe to drop the charges surfaced some weeks later when Jagger and Faithfull were filming in Australia. In the midst of shooting the movie, Faithfull was rushed to hospital in Sydney with a drugs overdose after suffering hallucinations that she was the dead Rolling Stones guitarist Brian Jones. She told the Australian detectives who came to interview her that she "hated coppers" because of her recent experience at the hands of the police in Britain.The Australian police report stated: "She elaborated on this, alleging that her recent arrest in England for 'possession of cannabis' was a result of a trumped-up charge when the chief of the Chelsea drug squad called at the flat she and Jagger occupied and produced some cannabis, stating that he would arrest them if they didn't pay him money."
The claim that Sgt Constable had tried to plant drugs and then attempted to solicit a bribe was to form the basis of the singer's defence when he was charged with cannabis possession at Marlborough Street Magistrates' Court, London. Jagger also went on to allege that the cannabis seized in Cheyne Walk had "shrunk" while in police possession from a half-pound block to just a third of an ounce - the inference being that it was being sold by corrupt officers. Although he was found guilty and fined £200 and ordered to pay 50 guineas in costs, Scotland Yard had little option but to investigate the singer's claims.Jagger enjoyed some high-profile backing from the lawyer, Michael Havers, who went on to become a Conservative Attorney-General, and the Labour MP Tom Driberg.
Nevertheless, the police distaste for the case - particularly some minor drug dealers Jagger and Faithfull called as witnesses - was plain from the outset. "The private persons interviewed during the course of this investigation represent extreme ends of the scale. At one end are public figures, whilst at the other are the dregs of society," noted Commander Robert Huntley, who oversaw the inquiry.In a statement to the police, Jagger described how Sgt Constable had allegedly tried to plant the "white powder" - apparently heroin - in a piece of folded-up paper produced from a box in the house. "I think he put the box down and opened the folded paper. He said: 'Ah, ah, we won't have to look much further'," Jagger said in his statement. "As I got to him he showed me the paper and I saw it contained some white powder.
"I said, 'You bastard, you planted me with heroin'."
Jagger then went on to claim that the officer had tried to solicit a bribe in order to drop the case."He said, 'Don't worry about it, Mick, we can sort it all out'. I said, 'No, we can't'. He said, 'Come on, how much is it worth to you?'
"He seemed to want me to name a figure but I did not want to," Jagger added.
"He twice asked me how much it was worth. He then said 'a thousand', but I never replied. After this he said to me, 'You can have your money back if it doesn't work'."
However, after interviewing all those involved, the Yard's investigating officer, Detective Chief Inspector William Wilson, said that the claims came down to Jagger's word against Sgt Constable's. The Director of Public Prosecutions then ruled no action should be taken against Sgt Constable to end the matter.

The secret word is Horticulture